So i'm single again.

[camo]

I've just got home and H has taken all of her stuff.

Things have been a bit dodgy as of late but this was totally out of the blue.

I'm sat here completly lost and i'm ashamed to say that i'm not thinking good thoughts.

I can't get through to any of my mates and I have no one to talk to.

[b i o n i c]

good riddance to assholes(y)

[AceFace]

oh my god mark! this is heartbreaking! i can't believe she left like that.

you're a good man, you took her places on the weekend and had fun and all that. i'm so sorry. :/

you're going to be ok. don't be afraid to get upset about it.

[ericlee]

I've just got home and H has taken all of her stuff.

Things have been a bit dodgy as of late but this was totally out of the blue.

I'm sat here completly lost and i'm ashamed to say that i'm not thinking good thoughts.

I can't get through to any of my mates and I have no one to talk to.

sup sup!! I'm almost there myself.. And I think you're hot n' stuff. ]


haha, oh man that was creepy.

*mouth pukes*

[abcdefz]

Sorry, man. Sounds like you need some distraction.

[camo]

thanks, this is horrible. anything else going to happen to me this week?

[hitmonlee]

hi, i dont know the situation, but we're here to talk to when your mates aren't
*hugs*

[cookiepuss]

Dude. Brutal. I'm sorry.

I don't think I can offer much comfort. As I'm working on being single myself...but in my case breaking up is hard to do. we push each other away, then pull each other back. it's torture really. it would probably be easier if I just came home and he was gone. :(

[camo]

thanks.

me and my closest friend all had a big fallout earlier this year and we havent spoken since.

I also know nobody around here and I'm all alone. I feel like a complete weirdo

[na§tee]

wow. that is fucking harsh. sorry, camo. if you had a wii i'd invite you to play mario kart. hehe.

[camo]

hey thanks, but you're right I don't have one. Maybe I should clear out this mess? :(

[AceFace]

maybe go take a walk. get some fresh air?

[camo]

I can't I feel sick

[AceFace]

:( i have so much empathy for you right now.

[camo]

thanks aceface, I'm so lost right now.

[ericlee]

honestly and not to hijack your thread but I'd rather be in your situation.

it's harsh, yes but you've got no red tape and whatnot to go through.

I've been in your shoes many of times, all of those times got better afterwards.

You're a young, smart, interesting guy. You'll find another chick that totally wants to bone you.

Head up, yo.

[cookiepuss]

you could always write a country western song....

I'm thinking...Something along the lines of what Willie Nelson wrote here:

The postman delivered
A past due bill notice
The alarm clock rang two hours late
The garbage man left all the trash
On the sidewalk
And the hinges fell off of the gate
And this morning at breakfast
I spilled all the coffee
And I opened the door on my knee
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me
Last night you came home late
And I knew you'd been drinking
By that old mellow look on your face
I thought, It don't matter
'Cause it's the holiday season
And you fill such a big empty space
But then I laid down beside you
And I wanted your lovin'
Because your love makes my life complete
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me
So excuse me for lookin'
Like my world just ended
And excuse me for lookin'
Like I just lost my best friend
And excuse me for livin'
And being forgiving
So just go on if you want to be free
But the last thing I needed
The first thing this morning
Was to have you walk out on me

[camo]

honestly and not to hijack your thread but I'd rather be in your situation.

it's harsh, yes but you've got no red tape and whatnot to go through.

I've been in your shoes many of times, all of those times got better afterwards.

You're a young, smart, interesting guy. You'll find another chick that totally wants to bone you.

Head up, yo.

I just wish I could see myself like that. I've been pretty down recently.

I can't believe Im saying all of this. This is ammo for time to come on here.

I just freakin' love her so bad but she puts up walls and makes mountains out of molehills.

Her parents kicked her out and are the most horrible people you could ever imagine, yet she still lets her mum put ideas into her head and she still takes it all on board.


yeah willie put it right there

[cookiepuss]

it's hard.
In these situations people always try to comfort you by saying some version of the phrase "there's other fish in the sea"

But it never feels that way when you're standing there, alone with your dick in your hands. No it usually feels like there is no one else in the world but that person that just walked out on you.(n)

[camo]

Yep. I'm sat here all alone and I've never felt so alone in all my life. I can't sit still, I don't know what to do and I feel sick.
Fuck this is rubbish.

[cookiepuss]

really I should let you be...really, you're just going to have to ride this out.

I don't want to make you feel worse and...
I'm no help. because misery loves company. because I rather relish wallowing in melodramatic sorrow.

but I will say...if you don't know what to do...it's best to sit back and do nothing for a while. Things often get more clarity when you sit real quiet and let it breathe.

[Guy Incognito]

Yep. I'm sat here all alone and I've never felt so alone in all my life. I can't sit still, I don't know what to do and I feel sick.
Fuck this is rubbish.

dunno what to say dude. there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. Just take it easy mate. I am going to shut up before i make it any worse

[camo]

No seriously anything you guys are saying is good. At least I'm feeling that I'm venting some of this.

[Guy Incognito]

put the tennis on then - andy murray is making a fist of it all a sudden. at least you can shout at him either encoragement or discouragement depending on if you like him or not

[abcdefz]

Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling. (y)

[Guy Incognito]

oh my god mark! this is heartbreaking! i can't believe she left like that.

you're a good man, you took her places on the weekend and had fun and all that. i'm so sorry. :/

you're going to be ok. don't be afraid to get upset about it.

can i just say camo that i never imagined you as a "Mark". sorry i just thought i would share that.

[camo]

lol thanks guys (y)

[Yorkshire~Rose]

So sorry to hear about all this camo :( *hugs* You can vent all you want, there's always someone here to listen.

[camo]

hey thanks you (y)

[Dorothy Wood]

my only advice is that if you want her back for real and you love her, you should fight for her. maybe she just had a freak out. unless you had a big fight and/or talk about breaking up, I don't think you should give up on things just yet.

if it's a for sure done deal then...shit, make ammends with your closest friend? I don't know I had a few very good friends to help me (and who are still helping me), but the trouble is in your heart and it's only you who can deal with it really. :(

also, watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall kinda helped me :o also, weed. alcohol is alright if you're with friends...but alone, it's kinda bad news. I drank a bottle of wine last week by myself and it was not cool, I was down down down in the dumps and crying my face off. which is good in a way I guess, all of that is normal and okay, it feels like shit, but feels better after and little by little you get better. :)

[Lyman Zerga]

you got my e-love and sympathy

[camo]

Thanks :)

[mathcart]

Yep. I'm sat here all alone and I've never felt so alone in all my life. I can't sit still, I don't know what to do and I feel sick.
Fuck this is rubbish.

Know just what your saying, man! I went through a REALLY bad break up a few years back and whenever I would talk about it I would always say what bullshit it is to be all fucked up about it, the world wasn't ending, and I certainly didn't want to be in a relationship that was not gonna work.
It does get better man, and in fact being alone afterwards was a really good thing- although you probably don't wanna hear that. But yeah- she sucks, your better off- thats a total shit way to end things. (you probably do wanna hear that- rightly so!) Chin up, this ain't on you, and it ain't about you. Peace.
(y)

[Echewta]

It gets easier.

Before you know it, some other person will distract you from your pain and you will have them to fold your laundry (y)

[camo]

thanks again guys, I'm taking all of this in.

[Lex Diamonds]

Having been there a few times myself, I know that the best way out is to remember the following: bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.

:)(y)

[beastieangel01]

I'm sorry, camo. You'll get through it though. I hate when people say it but it's true that time will make it better. As do good friends to talk to, even if it's just us BBMB friends. Most of us here have met each other and you should feel in good company.

[b i o n i c]

^ ^ ^
thats what i wanted to say... best cure for a broken heart

[camo]

Yeah thanks guys. I'm at the point now where i'm beginning to hate how she left, why she left and what she said to me on the phone. It's weird because I've never hated anything she's ever done or said but I woke up this morning thinking about how much of an idiot she has been.

[gbsuey]

i hope you're feeling a bit more positive-really sorry to hear what happened-that's a shitty way to end things. but you sound like a lovely guy-chin up-have some fun!!

[camo]

I am. I've turned my attention to my mates who have disbanded due to a fall out, a break up and the suicide of our close friend.

So far...a day at the races and I've got two of us signed up.

[yellow]

xoxo Camo! What a bitch! It fuckin sucks when someone u love, breaks up with u. I know it might not seem like it or feel like it, but u will get thru this. "In time this too shall pass". god bless u with the enlightment, compassion, courage, and guidance u need now. I am here for u as a friend.

[yellow]

oh yah! bong hits definetly help!

[camo]

lol thanks yellow you crazy cat

[paul jones]

let's go and hire some escorts

[yellow]

Camo! How are those bong hits going?

[camo]

Yes sir-ee

[yellow]

let's go and hire some escorts
Any other ideas? He could get an std and that would only make things worse.
Camo do u have any "friends with benefits" or f**k buddy's?

[paul jones]

Any other ideas? He could get an std and that would only make things worse.


I wasn't being serious btw(y)

:)

[yellow]

I wasn't being serious btw(y)

:)
I figured that, i laughed. But I am sad to admitt that i know guys that do that.

[yellow]

Yes sir-ee
Keep up the good work!!

[chromium05]

I dunno what part of Yorkshire you're in mate, but get yourself and a few mates to Doncaster on a Friday or Saturday night. 75 pubs for the necessary lubrication ( Tut 'N Shive is the only one I use ), thousands of girls ( a load of whom will shag you for a Tia Maria and coke, and a few of them might be alright looking too...) and even some dickheads for the obligatory fight ( I sound like a cock but the adreneline rush of a fist fight makes breaking up seem easy).

You'll feel like a normal bloke in the morning with a hangover, a black eye / fat lip and a dodgy rash.

Bingo!!

Worked for me - but then again I'm a bell-end...:D

[paul jones]

I figured that, i laughed. But I am sad to admitt that i know guys that do that.

they must have money to burn and not much sense then

[camo]

Lol peeps.

I'm near Leeds and I'm out tonight (mates coming over) but I'm not thinking of other girls at the mo.

[Yorkshire~Rose]

I dunno what part of Yorkshire you're in mate, but get yourself and a few mates to Doncaster on a Friday or Saturday night. 75 pubs for the necessary lubrication ( Tut 'N Shive is the only one I use ), thousands of girls ( a load of whom will shag you for a Tia Maria and coke, and a few of them might be alright looking too...) and even some dickheads for the obligatory fight ( I sound like a cock but the adreneline rush of a fist fight makes breaking up seem easy).

You'll feel like a normal bloke in the morning with a hangover, a black eye / fat lip and a dodgy rash.

Bingo!!

Worked for me - but then again I'm a bell-end...:D

Ay you, giving us Donny girls a bad name!

(actually, most of what chromium says is true seeing as i'm a born and bred Rotherham lass ;))

Glad you're feeling a bit better camo, get out there with your mates and have a good laugh (y)

[camo]

Yeah I will do. I fancy the flicks tonight.

It's so weird living alone, I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to do stuff. I'm used to having flatmates or partner with me.

[camo]

I think she's coming back (y)

[Lex Diamonds]

They can never walk away from the cock. (y)

[camo]

They trip over mine. Kablammo (y)

[na§tee]

hrrmm.

sorry to rain on your parade camo, but that doesn't mean everything is necessarily fine and dandy. i mean, the girl basically walked out with no explanation or forewarning. i would welcome any effort to get together, talk things through, to see how you can go forward, but to return to all-out hooray! we're back to being a happy couple! - it doesn't work like that.

sorry, just wanted to make sure you don't get all jolly you've got your girlfriend back just to see you let down massively again. baby steps, lolz :rolleyes:

[camo]

hrrmm.

sorry to rain on your parade camo, but that doesn't mean everything is necessarily fine and dandy. i mean, the girl basically walked out with no explanation or forewarning. i would welcome any effort to get together, talk things through, to see how you can go forward, but to return to all-out hooray! we're back to being a happy couple! - it doesn't work like that.

sorry, just wanted to make sure you don't get all jolly you've got your girlfriend back just to see you let down massively again. baby steps, lolz :rolleyes:

I did say that I think she's coming back.

I know, I know, I know. She's just a bit passionate and hot headed and I knew that half of it was her parents putting ideas into her head because she has had a bit of a rough time recently. We've spoken and we both know that we need to change certain aspects of or relationship because we both started to take each other for granted.

Thanks for thinking about me though (y)

[Kid Presentable]

Yeah camo, stop being so vadge-struck and actually think. Her coming back may just the first step to her walking out again. She sounds like a twat anyway, and I'm sure you don't want to spend your night defending a person who treated your feelings like wanker's cramp and simply shook them off.

[Echewta]

If she walked out once when things got rough, she will probably do it again. And again. If you like that form of communication, then continue trying to make it work. If not, bail out while the place is just yours.

[camo]

She isn't gonna just come back and walk over me. I have thought about it this weekend and I accept that we fucked up on both behalfs. I'm not saying that this is going to be flowers in a rolling green spring field with fuckin' lambs and shit but at least we're talking about sorting things out.

And yeah I hate her for leaving without thinking she could talk to me but she's not a twat.

[Kid Presentable]

Oh well. As long as you're happy. She knows what she can get away with now, and I wonder if you'll ever be able to forgive her. Do what you gotta do.

[camo]

Fuck's sake dude you don't always have to be so dry.

I'll forgive her in time as I'm sure she will with me, but who knows? I'm not saying it's a perfect situation but I feel a hell of a lot better than I did before.

[Kid Presentable]

Just trying to help.

Chin Up Mate *moves along*

[camo]

I wasn't being a dick, sorry

[Kid Presentable]

No need to worry. *is moist*

[camo]

:D Need a tissue?

[Lex Diamonds]

Talk about being a walkover. You should slit this bitch's throat, then hunt Kid Presentable down and put a screwdriver in his neck. Then hit me with a bus. That's what The Padster would do.

[russhie]

That was a pretty fast turnaround. I definitely would not have my ex back, even though I still want to be with him. Not for a very long time, anyway, and he'd have to work fucking hard to prove he wasn't going to fuck off again. Seriously fucking hard. To the point where I don't think it's even possible to erase the hurt, anger and confusion he has caused me.

The first few months without him I honestly thought I'd welcome him back should he arrive on my doorstep and we'd be able to work on whatever issues we had and even though it wouldn't be easy it'd be ok cause we loved each other. Right? Not anymore. If I wasn't good enough then to work it out, I'm not good enough now, and if I ain't good enough for him - I certainly am for someone else. He doesn't realise what he walked out on.

Trying not to rain on your parade, but yeah. Time really does give perspective, just try and do whatever is best for you in the long run.

:)

[camo]

I'm just going to say 'horses for courses' and leave it at that.

[russhie]

^ I've never understood that saying?

I like horses.

[AceFace]

is there a chance you'll try to work it out without moving back in together?

[camo]

I doubt it, her parents live a few hours away.

[AceFace]

:/ the living situation is what's key here, i think. it's hard to go through that kinda break up and then go right back to living exactly how it was before. it's gonna be rough. i hope it works out for you. :o

[Echewta]

Punch her in the Xbox.

[camo]

Blimey it's negative vibes ahoy in here. Usually I just fuck 'em off but I knew that we still had something here so I'm willing to work this out.

[Loppfessor]

I didn't read this thread but good luck camo...you're a good guy so I hope it works out for the best for you

[camo]

cheers matey.

[AceFace]

Blimey it's negative vibes ahoy in here. Usually I just fuck 'em off but I knew that we still had something here so I'm willing to work this out.
i don't think it's exactly negative, honey. just more like worried about ya through experience.

[Lex Diamonds]

It's worth a go if you're having fun but if it seems like a lot of effort just to hold it together then maybe it's time to cut your losses and look for something more enjoyable. Remember, there's plenty more vaginas in the sea. (y)

[camo]

Yeah but this vagina is some good vagina that got a lit bit worried and lost her way.

[Freebasser]

Pixar presents... Finding Vagina.

[camo]

Sounds fishy

[Lex Diamonds]

I just don't want you to feel like a vagina out of water.

[Guy Incognito]

go down the takeaway for some vadge n nips.

[Lex Diamonds]

No thanks, I've got bigger vaginas to fry. :cool:

[Guy Incognito]

No thanks, I've got bigger vaginas to fry. :cool:

I cant top that dude,I am off i am going out to the lake, getting my rod and goin' vaginaing

[camo]

I'm off on a vadgetastic voyage...

[Lex Diamonds]

What you on about camo? That's a whole different kettle of vaginas.

[camo]

I don't know. *scratches vagina*

[Guy Incognito]

What you on about camo? That's a whole different kettle of vaginas.

:D:D:D (y)

Cod knows how anyone will beat that.

[Lex Diamonds]

You know what they say: "There's always a bigger vagina".

[Pres Zount]

So I guess reading your last few posts in this thread really shows you why she walked out on you, huh?

[Kid Presentable]

haha. File 'Engages in Padster-Banter' as a Key Performance Indicator, Zount.

[Lex Diamonds]

File "Pretends To Analyze Strangers' Relationships By Unrelated Internet Posts" under Key Bellend Behaviour.

[camo]

So I guess reading your last few posts in this thread really shows you why she walked out on you, huh?

errm, no actually.

[Kid Presentable]

File "Pretends To Analyze Strangers' Relationships By Unrelated Internet Posts" under Key Bellend Behaviour.

Can't. Looks too similar to what I posted for the 'comeback' department to even deal with it. I don't make the rules.

[camo]

Not me and the mrs. (http://www.cybersalt.org/cl_images/1zzzzxa/w/worksleep.jpg)

[NoFenders]

Pixar presents... Finding Vagina.

Anything Pixar does turns to gold. Can't wait to see this one. (y)


:cool:

[Dharma]

Sooooo ... What happened?

[camo]

she's sat right next to me now.

[Dharma]

Jabumbo is going to be crushed.

[Freebasser]

she's sat right next to me now.

Who sat her there? :O

[jabumbo]

oh baby, please don't lose me again?!?

[camo]

lol what?

[camo]

I did lose her again. We split up new years eve and have been trying to reconcile over the past week but last night we called it quits for good.

Man I'm feeling crap so please spare the insults.

[Adam]

Its why video games was invented. Hours turn to days of completing that RPG you never got round to because the digital world always wins over real life.

[ToucanSpam]

Cheer up. Grab a beer and play some Contra, old school.

[camo]

I tried guys, she bought me most of my newest games. It's a downer how losing someone totally floors me whereas my brother would just brush it to one side and carry on. Chalk and cheese I suppose.

[Adam]

ikariam.org

if you sign up, go to zeta server. I am there.

[camo]

I'm using my old mac and it's barely running the internet so that's just gonna crash this hunk of crap.

Thanks though (y)

[Adam]

That probably means you can't even run basic porn then?

poor you

[Lex Diamonds]

That sucks man, but don't let it get you down too much. Sounds like it was pretty amicable from what you said, and if you split before it was only a matter of time until it happened again (I have learnt from my and other people's experiences).

At least she didn't cheat on you out of nowhere and break it off suddenly while you were thinking it was all gravy. Once you've had one of those you know what a bad break-up is.

[Rock]

Sucks doesn't it?

[camo]

That probably means you can't even run basic porn then?

poor you

not even in the mood for that :(



That sucks man, but don't let it get you down too much. Sounds like it was pretty amicable from what you said, and if you split before it was only a matter of time until it happened again (I have learnt from my and other people's experiences).

At least she didn't cheat on you out of nowhere and break it off suddenly while you were thinking it was all gravy. Once you've had one of those you know what a bad break-up is.

Thanks mate, it wasn't a bad break up in the sense you mentioned but when she tells me that she still loves me but she doesn't want to settle down in a relationship no more then it becomes a bitter pill to swallow.

Stupid thing is that I'd still have her back in a flash.

She'll be out tonight with her new work mates whilst I in alone. I know no one in this area and all my work colleagues are married with kids and I've never made the effort to do anything with them before. :(

Sucks doesn't it?

Yeah I read your news, I was gonna comment but I didn't wanna come here and say about y predicament until it was totally over. I didn't wanna jinx it. Stupid hey, I bet we both ain't thinking straight at the mo.

[camo]

also, watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall kinda helped me

I eventually got round to watching this last week, it's a really good film. I'm not a Russell Brand fan but he was just what the film needed.

Oh and I just wanna point out to anyone else in this predicament that chatting Yorkshire~Rose on facebook is a great help. What a star (y)

[Guy Incognito]

.

She'll be out tonight with her new work mates whilst I in alone. I know no one in this area and all my work colleagues are married with kids and I've never made the effort to do anything with them before. :(



.


chin up dude. the guy i was best man for split up with his wife and basically didnt keep in touch with any of us for a long time. He spent all his time with her and her mates/family they split up 3 months before he told any of us. He's back at his mams, he didnt feel like he could get back in touch i guess but we've all been round this week and he's been glad of the company. All i'm saying is bell your mates where you used to live or something, might help

[camo]

chin up dude. the guy i was best man for split up with his wife and basically didnt keep in touch with any of us for a long time. He spent all his time with her and her mates/family they split up 3 months before he told any of us. He's back at his mams, he didnt feel like he could get back in touch i guess but we've all been round this week and he's been glad of the company. All i'm saying is bell your mates where you used to live or something, might help

My four closest mates are the ones who I'd usually bell but 2 are in the states and one recently left for oz (we've spoke a little on Facebook but it isn't the same). The last one is the guy who we've all fallen out over. They're all my uni mates. I tried to get us back together before they left but it went tit's up in a major way.

Other than that, I never stayed in touch with college/school buddies from Bolton.

[cosmo105]

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is backed, hard.

[camo]

I rented it and almost didn't watch it because I didn't want to admit to myself that we were going through this.

It does lose points though for it's penis to boob ratio and the fact that I thought I could have Mila Kunis after it finished (see crush thread).

[Guy Incognito]

My four closest mates are the ones who I'd usually bell but 2 are in the states and one recently left for oz (we've spoke a little on Facebook but it isn't the same). The last one is the guy who we've all fallen out over. They're all my uni mates. I tried to get us back together before they left but it went tit's up in a major way.

Other than that, I never stayed in touch with college/school buddies from Bolton.

thats rough man. i dont know what to suggest dude other than trying new stuff and trying to meet new people. hope that thread gives you some ideas.

[camo]

me too.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across to everyone as being a hopelessy confused, emo like pessimist but like my mum told me today;

'your far too sensitive mark, most girls would kill for a guy like you but look at your brother, he treats them like muck and he's surrounded by them'.

Weird words of wisdom from my mum.

[cosmo105]

i hate hearing that, because i sure as hell don't go for assholes. i think immature women do, because they need to be treated like that and chasing something to feel like they're in love. fuck that. if you change how you act to something that you're not, you'll attract the wrong kind of people. just be honest. screw the games.



ultimately, the right person for you would not walk away. it's hard as hell to accept at first, but over time it'll make sense. take a few days to really feel the hell out of it and mope, but then get your life on track and don't waste too much time or energy on something that's not going to change anyway. listen to the descendents.

[camo]

that makes sense thanks (y)(y)(y)

[russhie]

At least she didn't cheat on you out of nowhere and break it off suddenly while you were thinking it was all gravy. Once you've had one of those you know what a bad break-up is.

Yes. Out of nowhere shit is the worst, you sit there for the longest time thinking, what the hell was so wrong with me?

Anyway, sorry about your breakup, camo. Time heals all etc - not much you can do/say to fix it right now.

[camo]

Thanks russhie x

[AceFace]

oh babes. i just saw this. my heart is breaking for you. :(

[hpdrifter]

How is it that such cool cats keep turning up single?

If y'all were in Seattle I'd introduce you to some of my very lovely single friends. They ask where are all of the nice single men? In England and Virginia, apparently.

Hang in there guys, my heart goes out to you.

[paul jones]

How is it that such cool cats keep turning up single?

If y'all were in Seattle I'd introduce you to some of my very lovely single friends. They ask where are all of the nice single men? In England and Virginia, apparently.

Hang in there guys, my heart goes out to you.

hey camo,let's go to Seattle and fuck loads of chicks(y)

[camo]

ha ha yeah, sounds good (y)


someone thinks I'm a cool cat, sweet!

[RoryMC]

Yes. Out of nowhere shit is the worst, you sit there for the longest time thinking, what the hell was so wrong with me?

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

I was on the receiving end of this a couple of years back after four happy years (or so I thought). It took a very long time to get over because, obviously, I was still in love. It was more of a mourning process as I had no idea it was coming.

Thankfully, I did get over it (in between being a bit of a player :o) and I'd say I am better for it now.

I was meant to be marrying her on Saturday, funnily enough. Haha.

Camo, you'll be fine mate. It'll take a while but surround yourself with friends.

[Rock]

ultimately, the right person for you would not walk away.

Gold.

[camo]

Camo, you'll be fine mate. It'll take a while but surround yourself with friends.

thats were I'm coming unstuck mate :(

[camo]

Well we tried and it failed again. She has really bad trust issues. She even hated me coming on here and talking to you guys. Last night we fell out and she threw this place in my face and shouted something about me commenting on girls arses. All I did was tell aceface that she had back (Nov '07). I can't believe she'd been snooping around on here looking for things like that.

It's all down to sodding Limewire. I was downloading 'the orphanage' and some roms a while back but it was taking forever. My first attempt at the orphanage downloaded me some euro porn and the second attempt was taking too long. I tried a few roms which didn't work also. So I just deleted Limewire not knowing that the downloads are kept elswhere on the mac. Anyhow, I found a folder called incomplete last with all of the roms and some weird folders containing mov files that I could open. I deleted them quickly because they all had female names and I knew what would happen if heather found them. Unfortunatly I didn't realise that it would all appear in my 'recent folders' thingy and she found it snooping around. She went nuts at me over the phone claiming I'd be looking at porn and wouldn't even let me explain. I'm sick of it, she makes me feel like I'm some sort of sexual deviant who would cheat on her at the first given chance. Why are some people like this?

I'm not that upset though this time. More annoyed if I'm honest with myself. I just don't understand how you can tell someone everyday that you love them, put a roof over their head, bend over backwards to do anything for them, put up with her moods and they won't ever trust you.
(n)

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Does she have a history of men or a man cheating on her or abusing her trust?

Despite putting a roof over her head, etc as you explained, sometimes if someone has gone through these things in the past, they can rear their ugly head. I speak from experience. Not because I was cheated on, but my trust was violated by the most important man in my life, my Father. It made it difficult to trust men in general and made me wonder if people are just messing with my head if they try to get close to me.

That said, I try to keep a steady handle on things because I know that's where my trust issues stem from. Is this the first time she was upset with you for these kinds of things or did it happen the last time?

I think perhaps it's best to let her calm down, and then explain things if you can.

After that, if she still isn't having it, well, she has a lot of trust issues she needs to work out on her own and perhaps a break up is for the best.

[camo]

Well it's probably down to her parents, they're both nasty pieces of work. She's basically been living with me because they chucked her out because they didn't like the fact that she was out living her life.

I mean if I was actually looking at porn (which I never do) then I'd understand but I had a beautiful girlfriend and didn't need it but porn serves as many purposes for guys doesn't it? I remember a mate of mine who's gf went on holiday with her parents and she left him a bag full of porn mags as a present.

The thing with H, is that I can't mention another girls name without her jumping to conclusions. Whether it be models from work or the female half of a COUPLE that I had met during our last break.

It's usually part of all of our fallings out. When we got back together she promised me that she would seek help for it and her other issues but I find myself having to drop hinting reminders all the time. She never went or did anything about it so I knew that this would all happen again. Just a matter of time.

She's back home with her parents. Last night she said that she would never go back and live with them but I don't suppose she has a choice. I've spoken to her a few times and each times she's reacted angrily.

I love her, I care for her and I worry whats going to happen to her whilst she's back with her family but there's nothing I can do anymore.

[monkey]

aww dude. you are way too sweet and it sucks this is how things are turning out. i hope you are feeling better this time around though.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I love her, I care for her and I worry whats going to happen to her whilst she's back with her family but there's nothing I can do anymore.

Totally agree with you there.

She really does need to seek help of some kind to get a handle on her emotions and trust issues. I can 100% feel where she is coming from, I have all those same thoughts and instant reactions... but I keep it in control. I make sure I evaluate why it's happening, where it's coming from, and if it's actually legitimate to be reacting that way. In order to get a hold on that I had to seek help.

Seems she needs to do the same.

You seem like a good guy, and it's a total bummer that this happened. Sorry, camo.

[Rock]

You just need to let her go and do her thing so you can move on. This doesn't sound healthy.

[camo]

aww dude. you are way too sweet and it sucks this is how things are turning out. i hope you are feeling better this time around though.

Thanks monkey. I do feel crap but I don't feel so helpless about things. It's just hard when I keep realising that I've just lost my girl, best friend and only real mate.

Totally agree with you there.

She really does need to seek help of some kind to get a handle on her emotions and trust issues. I can 100% feel where she is coming from, I have all those same thoughts and instant reactions... but I keep it in control. I make sure I evaluate why it's happening, where it's coming from, and if it's actually legitimate to be reacting that way. In order to get a hold on that I had to seek help.

Seems she needs to do the same.

You seem like a good guy, and it's a total bummer that this happened. Sorry, camo.

I can just imagine the things that she is saying to her parents about me now. Whenever someone crosses her i've noticed that she gets really defensive and over exaggerates about my reaction. It's a lot to do with her parents telling her off about the slightest thing when she was younger. I just don't understand how she can never stop and stand back and evaluate the situation. It's always - jump to aggressive/defensive mode and then (sometimes) humbly apologise later.

I just worry that she'll end up with someone not as understanding as me and end up in trouble.


You just need to let her go and do her thing so you can move on. This doesn't sound healthy.

I'm going to really try mate. I know it's going to be hard. We've lived in one anothers pockets for two years and I've been a very protective boyfriend because of the way she is. I don't think it is healthy because looking after her and keeping her happy means that I'm not spending enough time sorting out my own mess.

[taquitos]

good luck man. if you happen to figure out a good way to get over someone please let me know.

[camo]

good luck man. if you happen to figure out a good way to get over someone please let me know.

Cheers taq. Doubt there'll ever be a good way. I've heard that heroin can soften the blow though.

[taquitos]

well, drinking beer and listening to sad pop songs doesn't work. just as a heads up.

[camo]

Yeah I did that one last time. It was basically me and a six pack skipping to the last track of a load of metal/rock/punk cd's.

[Kid Presentable]

Go home and be a family man.

[mathcart]

Thanks monkey. I do feel crap but I don't feel so helpless about things. It's just hard when I keep realising that I've just lost my girl, best friend and only real mate.

Yeah. Know exactly where your coming from with that. I remember my last major breakup I felt the same way. I had ignored my friends for a bit and suddenly i felt like I had nobody. Losing the best friend part was in some ways worse then losing the gf. The upshot for me was that she was such a HORRENDOUS bitch during the breaking up (never was before it) that it quickly became clear it was for the best. Although it wasn't any less painful.



I can just imagine the things that she is saying to her parents about me now. Whenever someone crosses her i've noticed that she gets really defensive and over exaggerates about my reaction. It's a lot to do with her parents telling her off about the slightest thing when she was younger. I just don't understand how she can never stop and stand back and evaluate the situation. It's always - jump to aggressive/defensive mode and then (sometimes) humbly apologise later.

I just worry that she'll end up with someone not as understanding as me and end up in trouble.

I'm going to really try mate. I know it's going to be hard. We've lived in one anothers pockets for two years and I've been a very protective boyfriend because of the way she is. I don't think it is healthy because looking after her and keeping her happy means that I'm not spending enough time sorting out my own mess.


And its a total crutch for her too- your enabling the behavior your describing above, she doesn't need to get help if this is the co-dependency dynamic you two have.

Don't mean to moralize, just want to point out that it doesn't sound that healthy for either of you. I know it sucks to keep going through this but bear in mind you both deserve better then what the realities of that relationship where for you.

I think one of the hardest things in this world (that I've encountered) is reconciling that loving someone doesn't fix them and may be getting in the way of what's best for both both of. Shit I guess I've had a few relationships like this. Its hard but it does sound like this is for the best. Good luck man. Keep yo head up.

(y)

[hpdrifter]

:(

I have a tendancy to be jealous and I realized recently that it poisons everything and it's usually all in your head anyway. If you trust that someone loves you there is no reason to snoop and you can't possibly micromanage everyone your significant other meets in their life or every thought they have. Why would you want to anyway? And what's the big deal if they think someone else is attractive? It's a natural thing and nothing to be threatened by.

I don't want to be a downer but are you sure she herself isn't a cheater? I think sometimes people who are inclined to cheat are more jealous because they project their own desires. Take it from someone who knows, man.

Edit: Sorry also if my comments on your pictures were part of the problem.

[mikizee]

Dude in 12 months you'll be GLAD you are not with her.

You'll find a nice girl who just lets you be you without stressing you the fuck out every 5 minutes and you'll think THANK FUCK i'm not with that other chick anymore.

As the porn issue, shit, my gf would think its strange if I didn't watch porn.

Snooping is a big no no. I would never check my gf's computer nor her phone messages or anything and she wouldnt either. Its a complete waste of time.

As cheesy as it sounds, its all for the best.

[King PSYZ]

dude... that bitch is crazy, you can do better

go on with your bad self, don't accept this time and time again

/2 cents

[camo]

Thanks Mathcart, that make sense.


:(

I have a tendancy to be jealous and I realized recently that it poisons everything and it's usually all in your head anyway. If you trust that someone loves you there is no reason to snoop and you can't possibly micromanage everyone your significant other meets in their life or every thought they have. Why would you want to anyway? And what's the big deal if they think someone else is attractive? It's a natural thing and nothing to be threatened by.

I don't want to be a downer but are you sure she herself isn't a cheater? I think sometimes people who are inclined to cheat are more jealous because they project their own desires. Take it from someone who knows, man.

Edit: Sorry also if my comments on your pictures were part of the problem.

Thanks.

She can't handle me saying anyone is attractive. I can't even mention work at home because she once gave me shit for referring to one of the models as a 'beautiful model'. She'd be heartbroken if she knew that a lot of my time is used up selecting and casting models.

I'm sure she's not a cheater, we spend way too much time together for anything like that to happen.

I don't think she's read your comments, so don't feel bad. I have no idea how she found my other comments but it's just plain silly. It makes me feel really bad that I can't give or receive positive comments about appearances. Like you said it's only natural.


Dude in 12 months you'll be GLAD you are not with her.

You'll find a nice girl who just lets you be you without stressing you the fuck out every 5 minutes and you'll think THANK FUCK i'm not with that other chick anymore.

As the porn issue, shit, my gf would think its strange if I didn't watch porn.

Snooping is a big no no. I would never check my gf's computer nor her phone messages or anything and she wouldnt either. Its a complete waste of time.

As cheesy as it sounds, its all for the best.


That's what I'm hoping for. I just really wish she could of dealt with it herself. She's both the best and worst thing to happen to me but it was like living in one big contradiction.

I've never checked any of her stuff. I wouldn't dream of snooping.
People in relationships need things that are theirs and theirs alone. For me that is this what this place is for. I can't believe that she's used it against me! (n)

[Kid Presentable]

Wouldn't she be entitled to be a little insecure if you commented on girls as they walked past you both on the street? Surely that's all that the girls on here are to her, even less probably.

[camo]

Wouldn't she be entitled to be a little insecure if you commented on girls as they walked past you both on the street? Surely that's all that the girls on here are to her, even less probably.

Noooooooo, I don't do that. I do see where you're coming from though. The comment she raised was one that in my mind was as 'throw away' as you you can get. We'd not been together too long (it was in 2007!) either so I didn't realise how insecure she actually was. I feel really bad that it's hurt her but I can't live a life of constantly reassuring someone of something as blatent as my love for them.

[Kid Presentable]

Oh yeah for sure. But you can see her point.

[camo]

Yes, hence me feeling bad about it mate.

[Kid Presentable]

Oh not trying to make you feel bad. You're better off without her. Sorry.

[camo]

No worries, you're not. I know how you like to add your perspective to things.

[Kid Presentable]

Yeah, I'm a wanker. (y)

[camo]

Nah, you're just extremely dry.

[hitmonlee]

i used to have to hide ALL my internet usage from my ex because he couldn't handle the thought of me talking to guys in a medium where he wasn't around to monitor the conversation.

it was no way to live (n)

[Lex Diamonds]

Dude in 12 months you'll be GLAD you are not with her.

You'll find a nice girl who just lets you be you without stressing you the fuck out every 5 minutes and you'll think THANK FUCK i'm not with that other chick anymore.

As the porn issue, shit, my gf would think its strange if I didn't watch porn.

Snooping is a big no no. I would never check my gf's computer nor her phone messages or anything and she wouldnt either. Its a complete waste of time.

As cheesy as it sounds, its all for the best.
This man knows what he's talking about. I had a 2 year relationship with a fucked up girl who I "loved" and it was exactly like you described. Once the trust issues arise there's no getting rid of them and sadly it's only a matter of time before the whole thing goes tits up, usually more than once.

Don't get back with this girl, just try to move on and enjoy being single for a bit and I guarantee you will stumble across someone better. I did. (y)

Trust me, you will look back at this in years to come and think "why was I wasting my time with that nutcase?"

[camo]

This man knows what he's talking about. I had a 2 year relationship with a fucked up girl who I "loved" and it was exactly like you described. Once the trust issues arise there's no getting rid of them and sadly it's only a matter of time before the whole thing goes tits up, usually more than once.

Don't get back with this girl, just try to move on and enjoy being single for a bit and I guarantee you will stumble across someone better. I did. (y)

Trust me, you will look back at this in years to come and think "why was I wasting my time with that nutcase?"

cheers matey (y)

[camo]

Gotta keep coming back here to reassure myself.

Shit's hard :(

[Rock]

Its hard right now because its still all new. Give it time. Get your dick wet. Focus on yourself. It gets easier.

[Yorkshire~Rose]

Gotta keep coming back here to reassure myself.

Shit's hard :(

I tend to check this thread when i gets bumped back up to the top with a hope that you haven't updated it with "So we got back together..." again.

Stay strong - it's for the best in the long run.

Trust your internet friends! ;):)

[hpdrifter]

I'm guessing she's trying to get back together with you now. I'm sorry you're going through this, dude. Try your hardest to let the break up stand but the thing is you can't force yourself until you're ready. I've been through this and what I've learned is that one day you WILL be ready and there will be no going back. It'll still be hard but you'll know for sure it's right and there won't even be a question of going back. If you're not there yet you just aren't and you'll do the same little dance a couple more times and you'll both experience a ton more pain but you will get there eventually.

[camo]

No I'm just finding it very hard and lonely and it's good to see the
disparaging things people have said about the situation. I just need reminding from folk, thats all. I'm doing this on my own.

I've not heard from her, she's deleted me from Facebook and has changed her phone number. She didn't even get in touch to see if i was alright after going to hospital.

I keep going through really bad phases of missing her. It's mixing in with my illness and the fact that I found out the other day that I have a one in four chance of being made redundant. God knows what I'll do if that happens...I'll have nowhere to go.

[hpdrifter]

Well in that case...

You did the right thing. She is obviously either wildly immature, needs counseling or both. She will grow up at some point and see it, and out of the clear blue sky one day when she is the last thing on your mind she'll pop up and tell you she's sorry. And if she never gets there that's unfortunate for her. Either way you're better off. And when you fall in love again with someone better you will ask yourself why you were so tied up in knots over this person who didn't appreciate or deserve you.

I promise you this will pass. I've been through it and when it does you'll hopefully be able to be thankful for having gone through it and come out stronger on the other side.

[camo]

thats some good words there people x

[camo]

dammit...I sent her a message on FB to tell her about some mail that arrived for her and where I should send it and now I can see her limited profile.

So not good :(:(:(:(:(

[b i o n i c]

shoot the mail with some fart spray right now!

[camo]

That would just upset the postie!

[hpdrifter]

Is there something in her limited profile that upsets you? Or just the general (ersatz) proximity to her?

[Kid Presentable]

Did she take it in the blurter?

[camo]

She changed a folder that was called Mine and Marks days out to 'my fucking days out lol' and has photos up with her parents all having fun...as if all the nasty shit they did to her never happened.

Also, and this may seem weird to folk but as I mentioned before about her issues she never liked the notion of me finding other people attractive/pretty/good looking...but her profile is all like 'I love xxxx from xxxxx band' and interests include hot skater guys with tattoos. Dunno why but it's weirded me out.


Oh and she's done the change the phone (and number) and gotten new hair again. Done it every time!?

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Just get her new address to forward mail to her.

That's it. That's all. Don't look at any profiles, don't converse more than that.

What's done is done and you are better off. She is a child. She needs to grow up. For now she is too fucked up to even be something you desire. And she definitely is not at the stage in life where she deserves to be within your handsome and well put together vicinity.

[Kid Presentable]

She changed a folder that was called Mine and Marks days out to 'my fucking days out lol' and has photos up with her parents all having fun...as if all the nasty shit they did to her never happened.

Also, and this may seem weird to folk but as I mentioned before about her issues she never liked the notion of me finding other people attractive/pretty/good looking...but her profile is all like 'I love xxxx from xxxxx band' and interests include hot skater guys with tattoos. Dunno why but it's weirded me out.


Oh and she's done the change the phone (and number) and gotten new hair again. Done it every time!?

I'm fucking glad you're rid of the useless bint.

[hpdrifter]

Maybe she put it up there because she knew you might look.

Either way it is a mystery to me that you're pining for this girl. You're a good looking cat. I've never met you but you seem like a cool guy too who obviously is willing to give and love a lot. I can only think that it's years of emotional blackmail that has your self-esteem in the toilet. Unfortunately only time and effort will help that.

But if it helps any, if I weren't married I'd hop a plane to the UK and turn up on your doorstep tomorrow.

[Freebasser]

Mark, you may hate me for saying it, but she really does sound like a waste of oxygen. It actually sounds like you've had a lucky escape (y)

[camo]

You guys are class (y)

I know how you see it. Looking back at pg1 on here and reading through just shows me that this is more effort than it's worth. Trust me when say that I do feel massively ashamed about how I handle this.

Most people surround themselves with they're mates but I dont have that option so unfortunately I'm left here thinking about it all the time.

I just wanna put this out there to offer some alternative context...we did actually have a load of fun times and were massively in love so it you must realise that I pine after those bits.

But if it helps any, if I weren't married I'd hop a plane to the UK and turn up on your doorstep tomorrow.

Thats really sweet x

[Helvete]

I'm not reading 7 pages, but what went wrong?

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Maybe she put it up there because she knew you might look.

Either way it is a mystery to me that you're pining for this girl. You're a good looking cat. I've never met you but you seem like a cool guy too who obviously is willing to give and love a lot. I can only think that it's years of emotional blackmail that has your self-esteem in the toilet. Unfortunately only time and effort will help that.

But if it helps any, if I weren't married I'd hop a plane to the UK and turn up on your doorstep tomorrow.

What she said. Except I'm not married, I have a boyfriend but we are basically married, so I can't :P

But my point is:
You are handsome. You seem to have your shit together. You were a very caring, and supportive boyfriend.

You can always remember the good times with her and appreciate those moments, but never forget the bad. Don't go back to that. It really isn't worth it.

Being alone now, of course it sucks and it hurts. And it's going to for a bit. It takes time is the popular saying and although it's annoying to hear when you are hurting, but it really, really is true.

Stay strong and give yourself some time. One day you will be with a fabulous woman and you will look back on this and thank the stars that you moved on from this one.

[b i o n i c]

facebook > block site (http://lifehacker.com/software/feature/geek-to-live-ban-timewasting-web-sites-146448.php)

[camo]

What she said. Except I'm not married, I have a boyfriend but we are basically married, so I can't :P

But my point is:
You are handsome. You seem to have your shit together. You were a very caring, and supportive boyfriend.

You can always remember the good times with her and appreciate those moments, but never forget the bad. Don't go back to that. It really isn't worth it.

Being alone now, of course it sucks and it hurts. And it's going to for a bit. It takes time is the popular saying and although it's annoying to hear when you are hurting, but it really, really is true.

Stay strong and give yourself some time. One day you will be with a fabulous woman and you will look back on this and thank the stars that you moved on from this one.

ta! You should write advice columns in the papers :)

I'm gonna get off my arse and go to blockbuster, get some action films and eat a pizza (y)

[Knuckles]

What she said. Except I'm not married, I have a boyfriend but we are basically married, so I can't :P



What she said except I'm married and heterosexual. :D

Sounds to me like you're doing a pretty good job of keeping it together. (y)

I know it's tough but everyday is one more step away from feeling lousy.

Before you know it you'll find some fascinating, sexy bird to spend your time with.

[Rock]

Yeah you really need to stop looking at her profile on facebook. It doesn't help. It made it easier for me to de-friend the ex. Now I'm not all like "what does she mean by that!?!?!?" or "oh that totally was towards me!". It just doesn't help. And trust me it isn't easy. But its a step in the next and right direction. And friends that are hers and became yours on facebook...get rid of them too. You may find yourself looking at their profiles to see what is going on with her. It doesn't help. I shit you not.

Tell her to get her mail forwarded to her new address so you don't have to worry about it. If she doesn't...i hate to say it...start throwing them away. But remind her to get her mail forwarded at least two times before you do that so you can say you tried.

Just get that poison out of your life/system.

[hpdrifter]

Trust me when say that I do feel massively ashamed about how I handle this.



Don't be massively ashamed, it'll only make things worse. You don't need any more blows to your self-esteem. You're dealing with this the same way I have, the same way everyone does. I don't know anyone who has gone through a messy breakup and handled it well. You're doing the best you can with what you have to work with.



Most people surround themselves with they're mates but I dont have that option so unfortunately I'm left here thinking about it all the time.



This is the biggest problem. You have too much time on your hands and everything seems bigger than it is. But you're trying and that's all that matters.



I just wanna put this out there to offer some alternative context...we did actually have a load of fun times and were massively in love so it you must realise that I pine after those bits.

Thats really sweet x

It's okay to pine but don't idealize if you can help it. There were good times there were bad times, ultimately the bad outweighed the good, at least for now. When you're over this you'll be able to look back and enjoy the memories of the good times in a way that doesn't make you pine.

Also, really? I was going to post apologizing for being awkward.

[camo]

My life is feeling a little easier as of 10 mins ago.

I'd sent a message to her on FB just generally asking how she was. I even mentioned that this wasn't a rant so that she didn't need to come back with a load of her usual 'drama'. I also said I wouldn't message again.

She replied: 'gd fuk off'

Haha what a poisonous little bitch! Adios.

[Lex Diamonds]

Why did you even message her? That was stupid.

But yeah just stop now and realise there's nothing left for you with that bitch.

[camo]

Moment of weakness. Blame Carling.

[na§tee]

am i going to sound like a snob if i say something along the lines of "christ i wouldn't want to be with someone who even thought of spelling something like that.."

'gd fuk off'? what the hell is that shit? at least be creative with your insults, or failing that, try to spell them properly! jesus.

serious, ugh, just leave it, don't even message her, don't try to get in touch, and if you post in this thread which has been going on for nearly a year now again, i will come over and punch you in the throat. i hate these women who cannot make up their minds! on/off/on/off/bitch/angel/bitch/angel. a waste of your fucking time.

[camo]

am i going to sound like a snob if i say something along the lines of "christ i wouldn't want to be with someone who even thought of spelling something like that.."

'gd fuk off'? what the hell is that shit? at least be creative with your insults, or failing that, try to spell them properly! jesus.

serious, ugh, just leave it, don't even message her, don't try to get in touch, and if you post in this thread which has been going on for nearly a year now again, i will come over and punch you in the throat. i hate these women who cannot make up their minds! on/off/on/off/bitch/angel/bitch/angel. a waste of your fucking time.

I know. I think it was from her mobile but still...

It made me smile because it made me realise the amount of time she's got for people who move off her radar. One brief message with badly 'textualised' spelling.

I've made my mind up on the matter now. Sick of being to nice. Tried it for the last few years and it's gotten me nowhere.

[Echewta]

You won't be able to change being nice. Sorry. You'll just learn your lessons about not texting or sending message when its over, etc.

You just have to find those who appreciate nice. They are out there. Kinda.

[camo]

Hook me up (y)

[b i o n i c]

burn the bridge.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

You just have to find those who appreciate nice. They are out there. Kinda.

I promise we exist. I promise!

We just aren't abundant, just as nice gentlemen (but not gentlemen when the moment calls for it ;)) aren't either.