View Full Version : fuck
i just saw a roach outside my bedroom door. it was a pretty big one, not a huge one, but pretty big. interestingly, i've been living in boston for about 2 years now, this is my 4th apartment, and this is the first roach i've ever seen in my home in the entire time i've been here, big or no. i grabbed a shoe and i went to squash the motherfucker, and it FLEW at me, i didn't even know roaches could fly. it flew right for my neck, it actually landed on me, so i spazzed out and swatted it away and now i don't know where the motherfucker is. it didn't get in my bedroom, because the entire battle took place outside my door, which i closed, so it's probably in the hallway, at least for now. i searched the hallway pretty carefully, shoe in hand, but i couldn't find it. is it in the bathroom? is it going to crawl under my door? is it already here? is it going to crawl up my ass tomorrow morning when i'm in the shower? i don't know i don't fucking know but i want that gross motherfucker dead, it had those gigantic motherfucking feelers and it's somewhere near me and i don't know where it is and ugh just ugh
Jitters
07-01-2008, 10:02 PM
is it going to crawl up in my ass tomorrow morning when i'm in the shower?
Fixed.
you added one word, what the hell was the point
Jitters
07-01-2008, 10:16 PM
Will the sun set tomorrow? Does bologna get better when fried? What's the point of my life? Sadly I do not have these answers.
insertnamehere
07-01-2008, 10:19 PM
i believe he took "crawl up my ass" to mean up the outside, and he wanted to change it so that it meant, you know, up the inside. thats what i took away from that fix.
Jitters
07-01-2008, 10:23 PM
Indeed. The 5th grade humor adds a lot to it. It's a science really.
Dorothy Wood
07-01-2008, 11:57 PM
lol
was it black or brown?
black ones are the kind that live outside and don't do much, he might have just been lost. if it was brown, you should get traps because there's probably billions of them. and they're gonna get in your mouth at night. :eek:
ericlee
07-02-2008, 12:07 AM
and to that one you could have killed there's 50 more.
I always catch like 3 of the bastards scattering around in the middle of the night here. The building isn't even 2 years old yet and people are clean here so I don't know how they're here.
Hey bob, you should go and get the same tent thing that Deigler invented on rescue dawn and sleep in it tonight.
i thought i just saw it hanging out outside my door again, so i went and grabbed a shoe and took a swing at it before it could fly at me again. turns out it wasn't the roach, it was just a giant moth. also i missed and now it's pissed off and fluttering around the hallway, probably trying to find the roach so they can team up against me or something
everything i see looks like a roach now, i'm going to be thinking about it every time i walk out in the hallway. i'm like captain ahab only it's a big roach, not a whale, and instead of white, it's brown or black or something
gross motherfucker
Kid Presentable
07-04-2008, 12:32 AM
Why don't you try and befriend it? Scared of facing loss?
alruggs
07-04-2008, 12:35 AM
My darling dog just ate one. Nom nom nom. Now she's perched on top of the ottoman waiting for the next victim.
you fucking roach lovers just don't get it do you? that's how it starts. one day you're letting them live, the next day you're befriending them, and the next day you're having to press 1 to proceed in english because the roaches are taking over
My darling dog just ate one. Nom nom nom. Now she's perched on top of the ottoman waiting for the next victim.
we actually have a dog in this apartment, it belongs to one of my roommates. he's a big one, half german shepard, half something or other. he's very friendly but i have no doubts that he'd eat the crap out of this roach if he saw it.
he's currently on vacation with my roommate that owns him (i guess more accurately you could say that my roommate's on vacation and she took him with her) so i guess the bugs are getting comfortable. i can't wait for him to come back
DipDipDive
07-04-2008, 08:46 AM
:(
I'd call an exterminator if I was you. I don't fuck with infestations. There's never just one, but you already seem to know that.
And you were criticizing me for my dirty dishes. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.
RobMoney$
07-04-2008, 11:50 AM
Remember that Three Stooges where the Stooges were exterminators and they'd come to your house and dump jars of mice and ants and shit in your house. Then the people would hire the Stooges to get rid of the bugs and the hilarity would ensue?
I don't call exterminators I don't know because of the Stooges. There's nothing a good old can of Raid can't kill.
Echewta
07-04-2008, 12:03 PM
I know a guy that's got a lot to lose. He's a pretty nice fellow, kinda confused. Got muscles in his head ain't never been used.
roosta
07-04-2008, 12:21 PM
When I was in America, I was standing with my friends in a car park, and this thing started flying around that was fucking huge, and it HAD A FACE. A bug with a face. Bee's and Wasp's just have little furry blobs for heads, this thing had a face like an African mask or something. Fucking terrifying.
We ran into the shop, where we were delighted to find all the staff were senior citizens.
alruggs
07-04-2008, 01:18 PM
When I was in America, I was standing with my friends in a car park, and this thing started flying around that was fucking huge, and it HAD A FACE. A bug with a face. Bee's and Wasp's just have little furry blobs for heads, this thing had a face like an African mask or something. Fucking terrifying.
We ran into the shop, where we were delighted to find all the staff were senior citizens.
Was this in Las Vegas?
DandyFop
07-04-2008, 02:14 PM
In the last week I encountered in my home:
mouse droppings
ants
maggotts
a fly infestation (we're talking about 60 -70 flies in the kitchen)
FUCKING EW.
I put fly paper up and that shit was nuts.
No roaches though. I think that might kill me.
roosta
07-04-2008, 02:30 PM
Was this in Las Vegas?
I think it was in Colorado, en route to Vegas.
In the last week I encountered in my home:
mouse droppings
ants
maggotts
a fly infestation (we're talking about 60 -70 flies in the kitchen)
FUCKING EW.
I put fly paper up and that shit was nuts.
No roaches though. I think that might kill me.
you've out-grossed me...
HotAndWet
07-07-2008, 05:45 PM
I saw a dead roach on the bathroom floor at work and I FREAKED OUT
update in my war on bugs: i killed the moth
i don't know where the roach is though. maybe it went away for good. maybe i won.
Lex Diamonds
07-07-2008, 07:32 PM
Yeah right. You don't know the half of it, kid. Chances are homeboy you saw was just a scout, hence the flying and shit. Letting him live was your first mistake, cuz you can bet that lil sucker got friends, and they all want a piece of your pasty white ass. You just got recon'ed bruh, best believe these motherfuckers coming back to eat your ass up.
Sleep wit a strap is all I'm sayin.
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