I feel guilty...

[HotAndWet]

So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but sadly I think the relationship has "run its course", so to speak. We are long distance so it's kinda hard to offically break it off with him without seeming like a dick.
The worst part is he's so improved since we first met, he disappointed me more than once and I didn't really have faith in us but he changed for the better...and here I am wanting to end it...what's wrong with me?

[Echewta]

You should feel more guilty staying in a relationship you don't want to be in. Don't waste the time both of you could be moving on with.

[cookiepuss]

well it took me about 2 and a half months or so to get up the nerve to break up with my boyfriend of 6 years and we lived together. it's not easy. probably one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make. I've cried and cried over it, but ultimately it was the right decision for both of us. even my ex agrees that it's for the best, even if it hurts.

it's great that he improved himself do to your influence...but that's not enough of a reason to stay with him if you know deep down it's over. my ex was a raging party animal and drinking every night when we first started dating. It put a lot of strain on the relationship and he decided to change..ultimately the decision to change was because he didn't like who he was becoming..I was a part of the decision but if he hadn't really felt it nessesary for his own good he would not have suceeded. So great he's not a drunk anymore...but there were still other problems that didn't make for a great relationship. He bettered himself, yes, but that still didn't make the relationship bullet proof.

anyway...just because you feel he's improved, doesn't mean you have to stay or feel guilty for wanting to go.

you're going to feel like a dick, no matter how you break it off...even if he lived with you ...you'd still feel like a dick. that's just an emotion you'll have to deal with. there is no easy way out.

but honestly...I think you'll feel like more of a dick if you are living a lie. I know I did.

[Loppfessor]

I wonder how long my ex felt like it was over before she finally broke up with me...honestly I wish she woulda just done it and got it over with. I'm sure your boyfriend would feel the same way

[insertnamehere]

he probably is getting the vibes that something is wrong if something is really wrong, so it would probably be less painful on both of your parts if you end it quickly. like a band-aid.

[HotAndWet]

Yeah you're all right, I just never have had to do this before so I guess it's just hard. cookie I know exactly what you mean, my guy drinks and smokes pot constantly and it's finally just becoming too much, he said he'd slow down for me but I don't think it'd be enough for me to want to stay together...we've just reached that point. My worry is how to do it the easiest. We live five hours away from eachother and I really don't think I can do it over the phone obviously but how am I gonna do this? Invite him here and tell him or drive there? This is gonna suck.

[AceFace]

ugh. i had a long distance boyfriend once, about the same distance as you are from yours.

i thought we were happy. we visited each other once a month so that was twice a month we'd spend a weekend together. little did i know he was cheating on me WITH A MAN. anyway... he broke it off so horribly. he sent me my class ring back with a note inside that said we couldn't work together.

the thing is, it got lost in the mail and i was scheduled to leave to his place for the weekend and he wouldn't answer my calls. he finally got his MOM to break up with me on the phone and then a day later the letter came.

i don't think i've ever cried so hard in my life. i'm not even sure what this story is supposed to mean, but just break it off in a more sensitive manner, i guess.

[na§tee]

i had to the same thing with my ex-boyfriend - the last years were long distance with him, too, and i was with him for six years.

i sort of er, primed him for that fact that he was traveling down so we could talk about something serious about us. so i think he had prepared himself, really.

it took me a good few months of whimpering to do it. do it sooner rather than later, because the more i left it, the more i was, on occasion, unnecessarily mean to him, and he didn't deserve it or have a clue where it was coming from. he had done nothing wrong. so for his benefit as well as yours, just come out with it.

it will be difficult but things are just going to get worse the longer you are in an unhappier relationship, and it'll manifest itself in other areas of your life, too. we're great friends now, and he is probably the most understanding dude i know.

[jabumbo]

well if you come here and need the extra motivation, i can help!

i hope things work out for the best!

[beastieangel01]

I was in situation similar to all that have been described here.
It went on for almost 4 years...


You should feel more guilty staying in a relationship you don't want to be in. Don't waste the time both of you could be moving on with.

exactly.