Funny Canadian Jokes

[ToucanSpam]

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[cookiepuss]

I beleive it. every Canadian I know is a laugh riot and a smart ass. (y) That's why I <3 you people.

[Freebasser]

Did you hear about the moose that swallowed a whole vat of maple syrup?

It was very happy, but it got diabetes.

[rirv]

Is Canada that really small state in between Alaska and Seattle??

[Dorothy Wood]

http://www.snopes.com/military/lighthouse.asp

[cookiepuss]

http://www.snopes.com/military/lighthouse.asp

kill joy.

I want to believe!:rolleyes:

[Dorothy Wood]

sorry, I'm sure it happened some time. I just knew that I'd seen a similar story with different details in a forward or something, so I looked it up.

also, the lighthouse guy saying, "your call" seemed too sassy and comedic to be real.

[ToucanSpam]

I beleive it. every Canadian I know is a laugh riot and a smart ass. (y) That's why I <3 you people.

It's not really 'true', it's a joke and not meant to be a 'fact'. It's just funny for the sake of funny.

Speaking of smart-assery:

Apology to Americans

The same Canadian Apology as featured on This Hour Has 22 Minutes early in 2003. You can view the Apology to Americans here.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Lover Boy, the song from Sheriff that ends with the high pitched end note, your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this, because, we've seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with. For 22 Minutes, I'm Anthony St.Joseph, I'm Canadian. And I'm sorry.


url for that:

http://www.indefual.net/canada/jokes/22mins-apology.html

[cookiepuss]

oy vey...I'm not the one who started the thread with the words
"Believe it or not..."

but I should clarify that my belief is that Canadians are funny not that the incident actually happened. and I just wanted to call some one a kill joy. it's kinda fun to pair those words you know. kill joy!

[ToucanSpam]

I enjoy buzz kill better. It sounds violently obscene.

[cubsfirstplace]

typical canadian (http://break.com/index/psycho-weatherman-fan-wont-go-away.html)

[Myu-to]

I could have sworn that I saw the word "funny" in the title of this thread.

[abbott]

I do not have a joke, but....

My wife, who was a sweet little innocent girl from the farm was working as an intern for a hokey team. After a few days at work, she came home while cooking and started dropping F-bombs. I was like where did this come from, I had never heard a bad word from her over our 3 years of dating. Later that week I went to her office for lunch and I heard the f-bomb at least a dozen times from different Canadians over a 10 minute period. So I realized where my wife got it.

so a few weeks later we went to the movies ..South Park: Bigger Badder and Uncut at the movie theater in 1999 and when they broke out with the fuck, fuck, fuck song I could not stop laughing. Also, another great Canadian movie was Canadian Bacon with John Candy.

I love Canada and have several Canadian friends, but seems like drinking and f-bombs are a way of life for the majority of Canadians.