staying in touch with your Ex's family?

[cookiepuss]

My ex's mom and dad love me. They want me to stay in touch and still feel welcome to come over to their house and hang out (obviously not when my ex is around though).

I dig them and they are so supportive of me...I kinda feel bad form my ex...Sometimes I think they like me better than they like him...(they love him, but they are the first to admit he can be a self-centered manipulative asshat). Not to mention I was kinda the perfect girlfriend and they wanted him to marry me, so good luck to anyone he dates from now on.

however, I doubt my ex would like to hear that I'm buddy/buddy with his fam. and I'm not totally sure I'm ready to go hang out either...but I really do hope that with time, things will change. I'd like to keep my relationship with them even though I'm not going to be with their son.

So anyway...I was wondering if anyone else had experinces (good or bad) with maintaining a relationship with an ex's family. any advice or words of wisdom?

[Lex Diamonds]

My ex's parents are going round spreading shit about me to their friends. They used to act like they loved me as well. If they weren't such cunts I would feel hurt.

[Videodrome]

you should just move on. it's for the best. what would you tell your next dude?

[monkey]

im incredibly close to my ex's mother and his sister. i maintain those relationships because im extremely fond of them and they're important people in my life, regardless of how i met them.

it's difficult, i've been driven to tears on occasion when they call and inadvertently mention things about my ex. but for the most part, they keep him out of the conversations, as do i. i never hang around their home when he's around. but i think he understands that his mother and his sister and i are friends, and that's outside his realm.

again, i never ever bring him in conversation, and they mostly never talk about him either. it's a little strange, but because our friendships aren't BASED on him, it works.

[kll]

I talk to my ex-husband's mother every couple of months. He maybe talks to her once or twice a year. She always says 'I love you' at the end of our talks and I continue to be the daughter she never had. It's nice, but strange at the same time, especially since she doesn't approve of his new girlfriend. I have no reason to cut off contact and try to keep our conversations regarding him as neutral as possible, as in I don't give her info that I don't think he would want her to know.

No reason to burn a bridge - the more people who love you, the better.

[russhie]

im incredibly close to my ex's mother and his sister. i maintain those relationships because im extremely fond of them and they're important people in my life, regardless of how i met them.

it's difficult, i've been driven to tears on occasion when they call and inadvertently mention things about my ex. but for the most part, they keep him out of the conversations, as do i. i never hang around their home when he's around. but i think he understands that his mother and his sister and i are friends, and that's outside his realm.

again, i never ever bring him in conversation, and they mostly never talk about him either. it's a little strange, but because our friendships aren't BASED on him, it works.

My ex's parents pretty much raised me as much as my own parents when I was a teenager, I was with him for seven years and I live with his younger sister now. His mum and family treat me as a daughter, and I love them right back. They'll always be a big part of my life, but I guess it works because even when I was with my ex I developed sorta seperate relationships with the rest of his fam - I would hang out/see them even when he wasn't around. I see no reason to burn them especially seeing as it was a pretty good breakup.

[beastieangel01]

I think it's difficult. I've been on the other side of the coin and I get really, territorial is not a good word but it's the only one I can think of. I think mainly because I was uncertain of the intentions for the contact.

If you respect your exes, just be sure they know that the intention for keeping in contact with their family is not to cause trouble nor that you have some other hidden agenda.

Otherwise, it can get ugly.

[Loppfessor]

My ex's brother is one of my best friends. I consider him to be my brother too...that is difficult enough so I couldn't imagine if I was still in routine contact with her parents. I say don't do it...don't be a jerk but keep your distance