i think i have a ladybug infestation

[Bob]

ladybugs!

every other day or so, i find another ladybug flapping around my room. today i woke up and one was sitting on my pillow (the first lady to wake up in my bed for some time now). i keep killing them, but they keep showing up.

ladybugs? really?

[Kid Presentable]

They nest in your anus, so yeah, you'll have problems with that too.

[Bob]

oh no

[Bob]

that explains all the ladybugs in my anus

[Kid Presentable]

Don't scratch it, whatever you do.

[Kid Presentable]

The life cycle of a ladybug starts with a human eating undercooked, infected meat. The ladybug will then grow and release small packages of fertilized eggs and sperm. These packages are excreted by the host. If they happen to land in grass, for instance, the package will open. By that time, the ladybug eggs will have developed. The eggs are released onto the grass. If a cow were to eat that grass, the eggs would become larvae and burrow into the cow's muscle. If that cow was eaten without being cooked thoroughly, the whole cycle would start again.

(n)

[Bob]

(n)

that's what i get for shitting in the yard

[Bjork]

Bob needs to stop eating manure.

[Bob]

but it's so cheap

[jackrock]

Ladybugs taste like leaves.

[Documad]

I hate to tell you that they are probably not real lady bugs. You hardly ever see real lady bugs these days. If they're more orange in color, if they're in your home, and if they're numerous, they're probably asian lady beetles (some people call them chinese lady bugs) and they can be a real problem. Sorry.

[Bob]

well as long as they stay out of my anus, i'm happy

[mathcart]

in the immortal words of Mitch Hedberg, "its the cutest infestation ever!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTHIA8cMBRA)
:D

[Bob]

in the immortal words of Mitch Hedberg, "its the cutest infestation ever!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTHIA8cMBRA)
:D

haha no joke, i actually had that in my head when i made the thread

except this turned out to not be cute, it's actually fairly annoying

[Bjork]

Bob has bed bugs.

[Bob]

i'd better stick a hose up my ass and take care of that

[Bjork]

Bob has crabs.

[Bob]

Bob has crabs.

how could that be possible

[Bjork]

Bob has monster fleas.

[Bob]

maybe a ladybug gave me crabs

[mikizee]

Speaking of crabs, it reminds me of a great line in the movie Cocktail by Bryan Brown -

Tom Cruise - 'The waitresses hate me!!"

Bryan Brown - 'Well wait til you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred.'

I love that movie. Bryan Brown owns it.

[Bob]

i've been meaning to see that movie, there's a rifftrax for it