Rate BANGKOK DANGEROUS

[abcdefz]

Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha "Bangkok Dangerous" ha ha ha ha!!!


*wipes tears*

Jeez, Nic, how many houses do you need, anyway?

Then again, this is a guy who named his son Kal El or whatever, so he clearly has issues with sound judgement...

[Bjork]

VALLEY GIRL FOR LIFE!

Randy <3

[saz]

best review i've read so far:


Nicolas Cage puts on his worst hairpiece, or best drowned rat hat, to date in Bangkok Dangerous, a remake of what was probably a much better Thai film from 2001. Before I get into the plot specifics, who names these goddamn things? Really. Is this supposed to be broken English? Broken Thai? What? What is this? Was the title of this movie created through a poorly-executed madlib made up during a recent Tropic Thunder picket?

No, no. Let me try! Let me make one up! How about Anus Coleslaw? Fresno Sepsis? How about Allegheny Complacency? Missoula Surprise? Translucent Ding-Dongs? So maybe it’s not so easy, but did they have to stop at Bangkok Dangerous? It makes you think the story’s point of view will be coming from a full retard.

So, those plot details. Cage plays a lonely hit man with a bad dye job musing about how killing people for a living doesn’t afford much room for a social life. He kills without question, hesitation or mercy. But his pussyness creeps in when he gets a case of yellow fever for a 9-year-old boy or girl (it was really hard to tell in this trailer), mentors a street punk and throws a job. By doing so, some kind of On the Waterfront parallel is drawn and the bile starts creeping up in your throat.

It goes without saying that those who paid for the hit don’t appreciate this kind of shoddy workmanship none too much. Cage and his sudden sense of morality combat their mortal adversaries while tearing up Thailand and blah blah blah blah. Seeing Bangkok Dangerous in action just reminded me that I should really watch Shoot Em Up again sometime soon. Although I should stop to raise the point that the best Nicolas Cage movies are definitely the ones where he’s got bad hair. Adaptation? Now that I think about it, his hair’s usually bad. Forget I brought it up.