Ur FAILs

[Kid Presentable]

Not woe is me. But you have to laugh at yourself sometimes, so let's try it. Laugh at a couple of mine first. Man, I've had so many;

Breaking my thumb by walking backwards
Forgetting the names of the subjects I was studying when asked in a job interview
Failing a multi-choice mid semester test this week
Being told by industry folk that our ad campaign was shite last semester
Having my girlfriend get with all my mates when I was 16
Not having a full time job for going on 3 years
Being too pissed to get it up when required, then getting it up and busting too soon (on more than one occasion of fail)
Spraining both ankles at once trying to kickflip a 6 stair in front of tourists
Crying when drunk
Breaking my hand punching a Jarrah door after some paraplegic wound me up
Maybe this thread, knowing my luck

I could go on and fucking on......

[camo]

good thread actually (y)

Giving myself a boxers fracture whilst punching a wall in my sleep.
Spilling a drink over a famous boxer in a bar.
Having my appendix explode 4 days before the end of my final major
project at uni
Tripping over a guy fastening his laces in the Cardiff Martahon whilst waving at someone in the crowd.
Walking into a main road and getting run over whilst pissed on a night out.
Crying during a spelling test because I forgot how to write the letter 't' and the first word was tie.
Running to Karate kick a guy at school in a fight and missing by a country mile.
Falling down a weir in the middle of nowhere in the middle of winter.
Climbing onto the roof of the HSBC bank on campus and setting off the alarms.

[Kid Presentable]

hahaha those were gold.

[camo]

the spelling test was last week.

[Kid Presentable]

I knew people took themselves too seriously on here.

[ericlee]

bending over to pick a pencil up and imagining hearing a rip in the ass of your pants.

Finding out that that rip wasn't imaginary by a rather large group of people telling you that all heads turned after hearing that rip.

And you happened to be going commando that day.

[camo]

Pussies.

[mikizee]

I'm sure I've got stacks but I can't think of any either.

Standby.

[camo]

I've got plenty.

Knocking myself out on the edge of a door because I was hallucinating that my stomach was made of clockwork and falling out everywhere and I was trying to pick up the pieces.
This was cause by food poisoning from a sandwich which hospitalised me for a month. Big fail.
Running through a forrest and tripping up on a bee hive and getting them stuck in my football socks so they could sting the same spot over and over again.
Throwing a stink bomb at some annoying chavs and watching my relatively expensive watch follow suit.
Stiches splitting on me because I was playing football a few days after my appendix op and the wound getting infected.
Going to the cinema to see the Gangs of New York.

[mikizee]

death sandwich

[camo]

Thats what it said on the packet in the small print. I really should pay more attention to what I eat.

WARNING MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF SALMONELLA AND CAMPILABACTA WHICH MAY LEAD TO SEVERE GASTROENTERITIS.

Another fail linked to this was having an xray of my stomach by a very hot nurse and having to watch her look at the picture of my inners with my johnson (which was lay back over my belly) in the way. Lovely.

[Pres Zount]

Oh god.

Far too many to remember.

Thinking that it would be a good idea to wake mum up from being sick in bed with the sight of my sister and I naked and covered in mud.

Thinking it would be a good idea to tell dad "Yes!" when asked whether I wanted him to come over there with a jug cord.

Getting stuck in an electric fence after chasing a cricket ball ("Get mum! Ouch! Get mum! Ouch!").

Taking a run up to jump from one roof to another and accidentally walking backwards off of said roof.

Getting myself bitten by jack jumpers on purpose, after being jealous of the attention my brother got for the same thing. Then having my hand puff up the size of a balloon.

Trying to be the class clown by smacking my head into a pole, then crying afterwards when everyone had looked away.

Not hugging the girl I crushed on for six years when she left for a different highschool than me. Actually that's not funny. I saw her working in a supermarket about a year ago, if anyone's interested. No crush.

Swearing back at a group of bogans after they laughed at my suit, then having to go to my year 12 graduation formal with a broken nose and blood welling up under my eyes (as well as tears).

Telling an Emirates flight attendant that there were little cracks in the airplane windows, and that maybe someone should have a look at them, before the man sitting in front of me told me that that always happens, and that it was just frost.

Countless times I have dropped a pencil and then smacked my head on a desk when I lean to pick it up.

I'm sure there are more.

[camo]

Telling an Emirates flight attendant that there were little cracks in the airplane windows, and that maybe someone should have a look at them, before the man sitting in front of me told me that that always happens, and that it was just frost.

Now that's some Hillbilly type funny shit (y):D

[na§tee]

aahahaha oh man, am i allowed to laugh at peoples' fails? because that emirates thing cracks (lol!) me up. aahahahahahaha. *tears* awhh. how cute.
he forgot to add that the flight attendant was like "oh yes sir, we'll get that checked out right away when we land" - that's the best part.

i guess if i laugh i should share some of my own. uhmm. i'll do it when i get back from the beer hall at lunch.

[camo]

Not my fail, but one funny one that springs to mind is my mate spelling his name wrong on his English Literature GCSE exam in high school. He was informed by the board that he had been docked marks for it too.

[russhie]

Chatting up a boy in front of my locker in year 11 and watching a flood of libra ultra thins pool at his feet when I opened the door

Laying a rake down flat in the backyard, hoping my sister would stand on the end of it and smash herself in the face with the handle, only to have her walk past it prompting me to throw a fit and yell "you were supposed to do it like this!", stepping on it and smashing my own face in

Attempting to sweep the concrete while rollerskating, the broom inevitably sticking and slamming the end of the handle into the bit just below my stomach

Attempting to kick a balloon while rollerskating, landing flat on my arse in front of some five year olds with sweet rollerblading skills

Swimming underwater and turning round as I surfaced, only to cop a tennis ball square in the face prompting now ex-boyfriend to yell "I'm sorry, I was aiming for the back of your head! Not your face! Not your face!"

Being told I was a bit fatter than thin. But still very likeable (apparently)

[Pres Zount]

Now that's some Hillbilly type funny shit (y):D

Yeah, but getting bees stuck in your socks is Saturday morning cartoon type fare.

EDIT: Leaping into the air to catch (one handed) a tennis ball during a game of beach cricket, then having some nonce hit me in the face with a kite.

Attempting to fry peanut butter.

Balancing on a wine barrel at work, then falling off and landing on my hip.

[camo]

Being told I was a bit fatter than thin. But still very likeable (apparently)

aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhh I knew you'd finish with something like this!!!!!!!

Change the tune mrs, you are a hotty. End. Of.

[mikizee]

OK I thought of a couple

in yr 8 in high school at lunch time yelling at one of the big bullies 'hey NATH-ANAL!!! HAHAHA!!!' (his name was nathaniel) then tried to run away, i turned around to run and headbutted a pole that was right behind me. nathaniel then came up and kicked the shit outta me

doing a very derogatory impression of my boss to my collegues, then they all started laughing and i said 'hes standing right behind me... isnt he'. I turned around and my boss who 6 ft 6 standing right behind me with an im-gunna-fuck-you-up grin on his face.

[camo]

Yeah, but getting bees stuck in your socks is Saturday morning cartoon type fare.

*buzzz1 buzzz! badoink! zap! pow! whizz!*

[russhie]

aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhh I knew you'd finish with something like this!!!!!!!

Change the tune mrs, you are a hotty. End. Of.

haha, the best bit was that saying it to me was part of a strategy dreamed up by a boy who was attempting to steal me from my then boyfriend.

Lessons in how not to pitch woo!

I could always say that having my boyfriend dump me out of the blue after over seven years of being together, for no apparent reason is some kind of life failure on my part. But that'd bring down the mood of the thread!

Attempting to impress my grade 4 crush by hurdling a small fence, and landing face first in a gravel car park. He was duly impressed, but in a wow-that-must've-hurt kinda way.

Forgetting Kerry Packer's first name while writing a university exam essay based on media ownership in Australia, and referring to him as Mr. Packer throughout the entire piece.

Forgetting Rupert Murdoch's last name in the same essay and referring to him as Rupert throughout the entire piece.

Laughing at a girl for taking softball seriously and crying when I was hit in the thigh by the orange she threw at me.

Fishing on a sandbar in WA when I was 14, turning to my father and yelling DAD WE'RE GOING TO DIE when some fins appear in the water. They turn out to be dolphins.

Zount gets full points for using the word nonce.