Dorothy Wood
10-10-2008, 02:20 AM
this one's pretty funny, it's me being approached by a canadian with aspergers living in vietnam:
stranger: oh sarkozy
me: no, I'm not the president of france
stranger:That's too bad, I was about to ask for a cabinet post
How are you?
me: I'm alright, tired. how about you?
stranger: A little worried/confused about work. But survivin'! Do you have the luxury of getting some rest?
me: yes, I probably rest more than I should these days
stranger: Oh?
me: well, I should probably be doing other things than the internet
stranger: Well, by rest I mean sleeping in bed
As opposed to just not doing anything useful. If that's the definition of rest, I am very well-rested inded!
indeed! Still can't type, though, due to a lack of actual sleep.
me: oh. well, I spend a lot of time lately reading about politics online when I'm in bed. or playing puzzle games. maybe that's not rest though
stranger: Yeah, good to know what you've been up to over in France
Indeed. They can PUSH YOUR BRAIN TO THE LIMIT
me: yes, it's very difficult to be a president
stranger: and might I add, it's hard out here for a pimp
me: you're a pimp?
stranger: No, I thought you were
me: not anymore
stranger: Because it's hard out here for a pimp
See, it forced you into early retirement
most likely
*kisses your cheek in consolation*
me: ah, but you assume I have cheeks
stranger: You have a maximum of four, and hopefully a minimum of at least one
The odds are good
me: perhaps I have 7
stranger: All I need is one
Kiss me back? I promise I have at least one cheek. Here's a notarized form
me: I've only just met your digital form, I cannot concede
stranger: Cannot concede a kiss, or cannot concede the fact that I have at least one cheek?
me: both
stranger: Trust me. I'm Batman.
*runs his fingers lightly through your hair*
me: are you trying to cybersex me from asia?
stranger: Well I was actually aiming for your mom
You are but a pawn in my grand scheme
Are you trying to cybersex me from Antarctica?
me: my mother is married thank you very much.
stranger: I like a challenge
me: cybersex is too 90's. I like to live in 2010
stranger: What if you wear 3D goggles while having cybersex?
me: virtual reality? also 90's
stranger: I will sulk while listening to a Nirvana CD, then
And wear a plaid shirt
And wonder about this newfangled Internet thing everybody is talking about
me: plaid is timeless
stranger: Oh Sark, so much snark, but I love you
me: my goodness, that was quick
stranger: Such are your powers of seduction
You saucy minx!
Kiss me? Or kiss the little dwarf who I lead around on a leash?
me: ah, a kiss for the dwarf I might concede, but only if you pay me
stranger: I will pay you in kisses from me
Are they considered legal tender?
me: not really
stranger: They are fully convertible to gold
Gold is all we can count on in this day and age
*caresses the back of your neck*
me: did you find my lump?
stranger: Yeah, your lovely lady lump. Check it out!
Yeah, your lovely lady lump. Check it out!
Kiss me?
me: not after that. fergie is the worst
stranger: And yet, you must accept the fact that you drive these brothas crazy. In fact, you do it on the daily.
Such is your lot in life.
Do you like me? And how about Vietnamese iced coffee?
me: it's 9 minutes past my bedtime, I must bid you adieu
I don't drink coffee
stranger: They treat me really nicely, they buy me lots of ices.
Goodnight!
me: so long, farewell
stranger: Would you like to chat again? Be honest. [Y/N]
They buy me lots of iced coffee.
me: well that's nice
stranger: [Y/N]
That is not a valid response. [Y/N]
me: uhh
you might have fun with a girl who is willing to internet kiss you
more fun that is
stranger: How about Internet snowboarding?
me: only if it's capitalized
stranger: What's the difference? Tell me more!
me: I am sleeping!
stranger: Talk in your sleep! Share all your secrets, unfiltered by the conscious mind!
me: monkeys
stranger: I FUCKIN LOVE MONKEYS!!!
they are pretty awesome
If I ever get married, I'd totally make a monkey the best man at my wedding
The world is not yet ready to have me actually marry a monkey
But there are no laws governing best men, I guess
Maybe the monkey couldn't be a witness
Maybe the monkey couldn't be a witness
But it can still fill a ceremonial role
And on the wedding night, I'd probably fuck the monkey before I fucked my bride
(I like monkeys)
me: lol
stranger: oh sarkozy
me: no, I'm not the president of france
stranger:That's too bad, I was about to ask for a cabinet post
How are you?
me: I'm alright, tired. how about you?
stranger: A little worried/confused about work. But survivin'! Do you have the luxury of getting some rest?
me: yes, I probably rest more than I should these days
stranger: Oh?
me: well, I should probably be doing other things than the internet
stranger: Well, by rest I mean sleeping in bed
As opposed to just not doing anything useful. If that's the definition of rest, I am very well-rested inded!
indeed! Still can't type, though, due to a lack of actual sleep.
me: oh. well, I spend a lot of time lately reading about politics online when I'm in bed. or playing puzzle games. maybe that's not rest though
stranger: Yeah, good to know what you've been up to over in France
Indeed. They can PUSH YOUR BRAIN TO THE LIMIT
me: yes, it's very difficult to be a president
stranger: and might I add, it's hard out here for a pimp
me: you're a pimp?
stranger: No, I thought you were
me: not anymore
stranger: Because it's hard out here for a pimp
See, it forced you into early retirement
most likely
*kisses your cheek in consolation*
me: ah, but you assume I have cheeks
stranger: You have a maximum of four, and hopefully a minimum of at least one
The odds are good
me: perhaps I have 7
stranger: All I need is one
Kiss me back? I promise I have at least one cheek. Here's a notarized form
me: I've only just met your digital form, I cannot concede
stranger: Cannot concede a kiss, or cannot concede the fact that I have at least one cheek?
me: both
stranger: Trust me. I'm Batman.
*runs his fingers lightly through your hair*
me: are you trying to cybersex me from asia?
stranger: Well I was actually aiming for your mom
You are but a pawn in my grand scheme
Are you trying to cybersex me from Antarctica?
me: my mother is married thank you very much.
stranger: I like a challenge
me: cybersex is too 90's. I like to live in 2010
stranger: What if you wear 3D goggles while having cybersex?
me: virtual reality? also 90's
stranger: I will sulk while listening to a Nirvana CD, then
And wear a plaid shirt
And wonder about this newfangled Internet thing everybody is talking about
me: plaid is timeless
stranger: Oh Sark, so much snark, but I love you
me: my goodness, that was quick
stranger: Such are your powers of seduction
You saucy minx!
Kiss me? Or kiss the little dwarf who I lead around on a leash?
me: ah, a kiss for the dwarf I might concede, but only if you pay me
stranger: I will pay you in kisses from me
Are they considered legal tender?
me: not really
stranger: They are fully convertible to gold
Gold is all we can count on in this day and age
*caresses the back of your neck*
me: did you find my lump?
stranger: Yeah, your lovely lady lump. Check it out!
Yeah, your lovely lady lump. Check it out!
Kiss me?
me: not after that. fergie is the worst
stranger: And yet, you must accept the fact that you drive these brothas crazy. In fact, you do it on the daily.
Such is your lot in life.
Do you like me? And how about Vietnamese iced coffee?
me: it's 9 minutes past my bedtime, I must bid you adieu
I don't drink coffee
stranger: They treat me really nicely, they buy me lots of ices.
Goodnight!
me: so long, farewell
stranger: Would you like to chat again? Be honest. [Y/N]
They buy me lots of iced coffee.
me: well that's nice
stranger: [Y/N]
That is not a valid response. [Y/N]
me: uhh
you might have fun with a girl who is willing to internet kiss you
more fun that is
stranger: How about Internet snowboarding?
me: only if it's capitalized
stranger: What's the difference? Tell me more!
me: I am sleeping!
stranger: Talk in your sleep! Share all your secrets, unfiltered by the conscious mind!
me: monkeys
stranger: I FUCKIN LOVE MONKEYS!!!
they are pretty awesome
If I ever get married, I'd totally make a monkey the best man at my wedding
The world is not yet ready to have me actually marry a monkey
But there are no laws governing best men, I guess
Maybe the monkey couldn't be a witness
Maybe the monkey couldn't be a witness
But it can still fill a ceremonial role
And on the wedding night, I'd probably fuck the monkey before I fucked my bride
(I like monkeys)
me: lol