i'm trying to write a comedy sketch

[Bob]

my law school has a talent show, i think i've mentioned this before. they do things like musical acts and comedy sketches and stuff. some time last year i signed up to do a stand-up act and then i pussied out but this time i've decided i'm just going to write something instead because writing doesn't require any balls

anyway i'm writing a comedy sketch. it's based on memento. leonard shelby is a witness in the murder trial of john g. i think that's a funny premise. help me think of jokes. right now i just have leonard looking down his shirt a lot and shouting "john g raped and killed my wife!" and also a part where he says "i'm not on trial here! wait, am i?" also think of an ending for me, i have no idea how to end it

[kaiser soze]

You should have him refer to the guy as john D? no wait.. john T? john, E? john P? john D? john Q? john mccain?!?

[Dharma]

I didn't know lawyers had a sense of humor.

[Nygel]

damn you, i haven't seen memento. if not i'd have tons for ya. 3/4 solid. the other 1/4 will confuse you.

[Gareth]

they do a similar thing here (i'm guessing it happens everywhere).
rightly or wrongly, jokes that get laughs are piss takes of prominent lawyers / judges / academics and humour based on law stuff.

[paul jones]

Have one of them drop a pen then rips their pants bending over to pick it up then going red in the face and saying 'SHAZBOT!' like in Mork & Mindy

[Dorothy Wood]

dude, memento came out like 8 years ago. dude. maybe you can work that in somehow at the end.

[Kid Presentable]

I only read every third word of the original post. As I see it there's a witness and a lawyer. As the lawyer walks off have the witness say "Your fly is down" and the lawyer (wearing backwards trousers) zips up the arse fly.

[Pres Zount]

I wish I had seen it. But I think I know what it's about... maybe. The guy (uh, Guy?) tatoos himself to remind him of things, yeah?

I think you should have him wake up with 'Things To Do: Get milk, eggs' tatooed on his arm. : /

Someone should say: "Complete and utter memory loss?.. man, that sucks."

He should forget where he puts his keys for half an hour.

Oh, and maybe you could work STUDYING LAW into it by having him forget basic lawyer mantra or something. It would be funny because PFFF who ever forgets that, it's so easy? OK, so that's not funny, but your law school friends might think it is.

"I'm looking for my wife's killer, but all I have to go on is this blurry polaroid of me throwing up outside (insert popular law student pub/bar)".\\\\\








Have him play a brain training game on Nintendo DS.

You could have a whole bunch of amusing and ZANY flashbacks, but it might be hard to act them out. Maybe you could just have Leonard wake up and say "Wh... why do I keep getting flashbacks of being chased by lobsters/bare knuckle boxing a clown/making love to unpopular law teacher X etc.

End it as his wife isn't actully dead, but ran away with the 'killer' and faked her death so that her idiot husband with the annoying memory would leave her the hell alone.

Personally, I think you should do a thing where you just take all the lawyer scenes from all movies ever, and play them out with humour. It might be easier. Keep us posted!

[Pres Zount]

"\\\\\\\




"

= The cat walked across the keyboard.

[Kid Presentable]

What's the cat's name?

[camo]

Maybe have the guy start reciting lines from famous films and plays - making it look like you actually got a guy who suffers from the same problem or mention that he's a method actor and has undergone some (hopefully reversible) surgery to remove his pre-frontal lobe to fully understand (but not remeber) the role. He can also pretend that his dialogue is written in his tattoos.

The culprit could be tattooed on him from the get go, but have another tattoo that strikes a bearing resemblence to one of your lecturers and have the character or judge declare that it was a piece of evidence used last week in the trial of said lecturer doing something dubious. Stealing the lastest New Kids cd or streaking a game?

[jabumbo]

its no good unless you poke one at the dean

[DandyFop]

Have leonard fart really loud and everybody be like "omg smelly" and then have him be like "wow, who farted? Who farted????"

[Pres Zount]

Elmo.

[Knuckles]

Elmo.

tickle him for me

[BangkokB]

Maybe have the guy start reciting lines from famous films and plays - making it look like you actually got a guy who suffers from the same problem or mention that he's a method actor and has undergone some (hopefully reversible) surgery to remove his pre-frontal lobe to fully understand (but not remeber) the role. He can also pretend that his dialogue is written in his tattoos.

The culprit could be tattooed on him from the get go, but have another tattoo that strikes a bearing resemblence to one of your lecturers and have the character or judge declare that it was a piece of evidence used last week in the trial of said lecturer doing something dubious. Stealing the lastest New Kids cd or streaking a game?

Do that but only say every 3rd word and exclaim it as serious as a heartattack. Example: Call the Doctor Now! This is an Emergency. Help!" That would become "Call Doctor. This an Help" Noone will have any idea what you talking about but you. If you mastered that then occasionally throw in words that have not yet been invented as the 2nd word and if you can pull that off then I welcome you to my world. Example: " Call Rocka Doctor. Blasta! This abores an Eagleshark. Help!"