i solved the state budget crisis!

[Bob]

i recently completed an internship at the state department of revenue (the massachusetts equivalent of the IRS basically) and one of the cases i worked on was a sham transaction case involving over $100 million of tax dollars. deval patrick even referred to it specifically. in a press conference about the state budget, he mentioned $100 million of anticipated collections from the department of revenue, and i worked on the case involving that $100 million!

we're apparently negotiating a settlement agreement in regards to that case, and yeah, i'm pretty sure it's totally my work that convinced them to want to settle. and if they don't settle, i'm 100% confident that it's my work that's going to win that case.

well alright, technically i only did some research that any asshole could have done, but i was that asshole! i did the bitch work that won the case! how cool is that?

i can't believe that nobody wants to hire me. i'm not even out of law school yet and already i have a published opinion and a nod from the governor (not that he realized it) under my belt. but i don't go to harvard, so nobody gives a fuck

[paul jones]

thanks bob(y)

[Bob]

thanks bob(y)

well it doesn't help you technically

[paul jones]

well it doesn't help you technically

that's correct but I'm just saying good work(y)

[jabumbo]

yeah, go back to your shitty low budget law school you plebe!

[camo]

Thanks so much Bob, you're one of the good ones.

[Randetica]

did it get you laid?

[befsquire]

expand your search, bob. i hear orlando is nice.

[Bob]

expand your search, bob. i hear orlando is nice.

yeah but then i'd have to live in florida

unless you're actually being serious about there being jobs there in which case you should definitely drop my name because i have no network up here

edit: tell them i can solve their budget crisis, i assume they have one too

[skra75]

bob that's bitchin.
nah man I'm proud of you.
mark my words - you will be rich soon and knee deep in hot nubile interns

when you are filthy rich will you please send me a restored silver 1979 nissan z28 with a red leather interior? for real I live close and that would be pretty awesome if you gave me a gift haha

[Bob]

expand your search, bob. i hear orlando is nice.

so i recently saw a job posting for the miami-dade public defender's office but they want candidates with so much experience! they require you to have either an externship or a clinic or something that has you experiencing high-pressure client representation. i don't have anything close to that.

i mean i guess i can understand, they can only hire so many people (fewer now, with the budget crisis that i assume they have and i promise i can solve if you just make them hire me), and they want to make sure they hire people who don't suck, but still. all that for $47,500 (which is like a million dollars in public defender money, as i understand it).