I rawk the P.A well...

[MC Moot]

Do you have a P.A system at work?…do you enjoy it?...I do…I have different characters you know…sometimes I do French Canadian accent thing or a AM morning radio guy thing…Rise and shine city! It’s your “Host With Most” style…any way’s I like the P.A…I also do a robot and drill instructor routine which are imensly popular and often requested at corporate functions…I also broadcast little dubs from time appropriate tunes…yep…small kicks for failed actors and campus radio show hosts abound…I love an audience…you should work with me…I make it mo betta and am available for birthday's,bar mitzva's and wedding receptions and wakes...book now!...

[na§tee]

i don't, but i appreciate the comedy that can come as a result of using one, especially at supermarkets.

a tasmanian woolworths i went to frequently late at night was particularly hilarious. i think you had to be there. but it was evidently just the late-shift staff taking the piss. the dude who did it every night was lol. "ben can you come to the service desk please. bencanyoucometotheservicedeskplease plleeeeeaseeeeebeeeeennnnnnnnnn canyoucometotheservicedeskpleazzzzeee? BEN! come to the service desk!" /click.

i like the late night announcements about great bargains to be had that are said really, really dryly - all about delicious ranges and beautiful foods and said by someone who is obviously bored shitless.

i wish someone would try "ladies and gentlemen, this store will close in approximately 5 seconds".

[MC Moot]

i wish someone would try "ladies and gentlemen, this store will close in approximately 5 seconds".

I'll try it for you...although this is a school...but that could make it all the more interesting!

[YoungRemy]

I employ techno sounding backwards countdown technique.

"Five, Four Three, Two, ONE" emphasis on robotic sounding "ONE"

I also use the two-minute warning from basketball games.

"Twoooo minutes, two minutes remaining"

I do a mean play by play on Dance Dance Revolution.

and I almost always use deep sounding radio voice.

[hpdrifter]

We have one here but I hate using it. I always stumble over my words and feel like an idiot. I wish I could do voices but around here it would be inappropriate and I'd probably get in trouble. :(

My sister told me that she heard a funny one at Heathrow airport. I guess there was a power outage and when it was over someone came over the loudspeaker and said something like *semi-bored haugty british voice* "Ladies and gentlemen, it seems there was a power outage and then everything disolved into total chaos."

I still laugh everytime I think of that.

[MC Moot]

We have one here but I hate using it. I always stumble over my words and feel like an idiot. I wish I could do voices but around here it would be inappropriate and I'd probably get in trouble...


*adapts the K-Tel/late night informercial facade*

Do you ever feel uncomfortable while using a public broadcast system? Are you restless,nervous or shifty when the occasion arrises? Do you dread pushing that page button due to anxiety and fear of faliure? Well friend if the answer to any of those questions is "YES,I do Moot!"...then STOP right now and reserve your seat at Moots 100 highly effective steps to creating a compelling and confident paging strategy!!...Seminar begins in the Hawaiian room of the Motel 6 off route 32,Des Moines,Iowa this Saturday at 9AM sharp!...this is a limited engagement with a door prize (coffee mug bearing my image) for the first 5 participants!...


Be There!

Be There!

Be There!

[Pres Zount]

I closed shop once, and I announced to all staff and customers that the store would be closing in approximately one second. One second later, I announced that the store was closed.

Luckily for me, the store was empty.

I also have an ongoing FEUD with the Hardware department, where they call for customer service to Garden (where I work) and I call it back. It used to be "Customer service to Garden please, customer service to Garden." then it degenerated to "Garden service to Garden, Garden service to Garden" and now it's just "Garden Garden, Garden Garden" or "Hardware Hardware, Hardware Hardware Hardware"

Back in my highschool job, a friend whom I was working with called his dad (who got us the job) over the P.A. "Dad, can you come here?" He just expected him to know where 'here' is.

[camo]

There's an old dear who works random evenings in our local Asda who reads out the final offers of the day. It's great because she starts to say something and then forgets what she began halfway through. So you get cut and shut sentences that never make any sense. Everyone knows that she messes it up but it's funny walking around watching everyone shopping with grins on they're faces.

'Ladies and gentle we have french baguettes for... and um err the store is open 'till ten thirty tonight' so save some of your pennies!'