hilarious stories about shitting.

[checkyourprez]

so i went up to visit my bro at school with one of my old roommates this past weekend. (for those that are wondering, i ended up getting a blowy, she was skinny, and there was no toilet involved) on to the business at hand. at a Christmas party on Friday some hilarity of the highest degree went down.

first, for whatever reason there was some bricked out hole in the basement of the house the party was at. someone gave the old "you wont" dare, and with in 5 seconds this kid drops trow and pinches a loaf into this hole. this causes my brother to puke instantaneously. i guess seeing feces come directly out of another mans asshole can be a bit unsettling. so a little while later i went upstairs and come to find out my brother than took a shit behind the water heater in the basement. imagine how that had to smell for the kids whos house that was the next day. fucking great.

so that got us to telling stories the next day and some other classic stories came out.

one of my bro's housemates friends had shit into a hole on a golf course, that's some great shit right there.

the kid i went up with had been notorious for shitting in pools. another great way to utilize the shit.

one of my old roommates up theirs buddies shit in the back of some random el camino. it was a hot day as well. how would you like to come back to your car and find a stinking pile of shit in your backseat. genius.

lastly, my old roomate i went up with shit in a pickle jar for fun junior year. i think he ended up pouring it out on the pavement next to this girls car in hopes she'd step in it. didn't happen, but not a bad idea.



well, i think im tapped outta shit stories. now its your turn, no need to be ashamed, let the shit fly.

[mikizee]

What is it with you guys and shit

shitting in another person's house as a prank is fucking disgusting. I'd do some serious damage to the person if I caught them.

They'd be shitting in a bag after I was finished with them.

I think you have a secret shit fetish.

[Bob]

a blowy?

[mikizee]

blowy = gob

[DIGI]

a blowy?

Ali G.

[kaiser soze]

That shit is so funny

[Dorothy Wood]

gross.

[TurdBerglar]

http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=65274

[checkyourprez]

http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=65274

dude i remember reading that when you wrote it. an awesome story. i think i even told someone in my real life about it.

[checkyourprez]

What is it with you guys and shit

shitting in another person's house as a prank is fucking disgusting. I'd do some serious damage to the person if I caught them.

They'd be shitting in a bag after I was finished with them.

I think you have a secret shit fetish.

dude, its like pooping into a bag and lighting it on fire and putting it on a doorstep. its like the ultimate comedic act.

[Lyman Zerga]

one of my bro's housemates friends had shit into a hole on a golf course, that's some great shit right there.


haha


dude, its like pooping into a bag and lighting it on fire and putting it on a doorstep. its like the ultimate comedic act.

people with some class use dog shit for that out played prank

[checkyourprez]

haha




people with some class use dog shit for that out played prank

played out? come on man, how many times have you actually seen that prank go down?

[rirv]

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories/
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories2/

[RoryMC]

http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=65274

HAHA.

[HotAndWet]

I have to shit right now.

[b i o n i c]

i was expecting a better story when i saw

hilarious stories about shitting
By: HotAndWet

[funk63]

I took a shit in my toilet today is that funni enuf fer j00

[checkyourprez]

no no guys you are missing the point. these stories have to be sweet. something like TurdBerglar's. a fitting name for the man who has quite the shitting story.

[funk63]

Ill figure some shit out and get back to you.

[Fern]

I drank a 1/5 of everclear and shit myse,f in the back of a limo in manhattan. I was all dolled up and did it in my sleep.

I ate some really greasy fod once and shit running up my stairs.

my buddy shit on the hood of some dudes car and wiped with a sock cause they wouldnt let us in a stipclub

[b i o n i c]

when i was a kid, my class went christmas carolling at the local nursing home. i will always remember the old lady who wanted to thank us and spread the christmas cheer for taking the time by smiling and holding out a turd in her hand for anyone who wanted it. i was moved

[Fern]

when i was a kid, my class went christmas carolling at the local nursing home. i will always remember the old lady who wanted to thank us and spread the christmas cheer for taking the time by smiling and holding out a turd in her hand for anyone who wanted it. i was moved


BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(not really the senility, or action, just an excellent delivery)

[checkyourprez]

my bro struck again. he called me today, said he was blackouted last night (he left me a message at like 11 pm yesterday, if defiantly sounded like it) and he shit at this kids house that used to be the goalie on our team. right in this kids closet. pure comedic gold. he graduates in a week so hes contemplating hitting up a couple more houses before he leaves.


one of our buddies has an internship now, and has one semester left and was going to move to his room for the spring semester. hes thinking about leaving him a little welcoming gift.

also the other kids who's house got shat in at the party i mentioned in the beginning of this thread he is thinking about getting again. possibly in something, and than hiding it in the stove or microwave. either way i think its a cant miss.

[BangkokB]

I was fucking about pissing on the carpet talking to my parakeet when lo and behold the shit hit the fan

[gbsuey]

I too would be mightily unimpressed if someone shit in my house and i'm not getting how that would be a funny thing to do. I got told this when i was still drunk one morning and at the time it was the funniest thing i ever heard.
My friends' brother and his friends were out on the piss, on his way home one decides he needs to poo and pulls down his keks to do it right there on the pavement but mid-poo passes out cold. So he's outside an old peoples home-the bit that made it so funny was imagining an oldie opening their curtains in the morning to see a passed-out pisshead on the floor with his arse out complete with turtle head!!

[checkyourprez]

if i saw that, i would find it very funny.



trust me though, if someone shit in my house id want to kick their ass. these are college houses to remind you though, its not like these people are paying $100,000+ morgages on these places and the shitting bandit is coming in and dropping plums all over the place. these places suck for the most part and these guys will be gone soon enough, eventually.

right now hes shitting in a pickle jar, one of the big ones, to leave for the roommate when he comes back. he said the jar still had some pickle juice and two pickles in it. thats going to be an epic burn.

[easy 3]

Turdberglar's old story was funny, and the golf course hole is amusing.

I went to an art gallery opening a couple of months ago that my sister was showing some work in and some guy near me put a piece of newspaper on the floor and then dropped his draws and shat on it. He then calmly wiped his ass a bit, pulled up his trousers and walked away. The funny part was that I didn't really realise what was happening at the time and was walking along looking at the art work - the paintings that the guy shat near depicted some weird porno-type images and my girlfriend stops and says 'oh that's just gross!' - I thought she was referring to the paintings and was surprised that she'd be shocked or offended by a little bit of genitalia in action and then turned around just in time to see a log coming out of this guy - I was stood right next to him! No one seemed to know who he was or why he did it - he wasn't one of the artists exhibiting or anything but was dressed like some trendy arty-farty type - I think he was just some random attention seeker. My girlfriend couldn't help but make the obvious comment - 'I don't know much about art but I know that's shit'

Otherwise I remember when I was a kid someone told me that if you pull down your shorts and take a shit whilst swimming in a river, the weight of the shit is supported by the water so it doesn't break up - you can send massive foot-long brown snakes swimming off downstream - I've never tested this claim but it seems kind of feasible.

There was a kid in my school that got in trouble for shitting on the toilet floor and writing something on the wall with it, I think he shat on the floor in a corridor or something too? I don't know how he got caught?

[checkyourprez]

great addition.


man that must have been traumatic. a man pushing a loaf out right next to you. its not something humans were meant to see.