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Bob
12-10-2008, 07:50 PM
if, in casual conversation, a girl sort of spontaneously mentions that she's single, that's probably a sign, right? or is it just small talk? i don't know how these things work

taquitos
12-10-2008, 07:51 PM
kill her

beastieangel01
12-10-2008, 07:54 PM
Bob, she wants your cock.

b i o n i c
12-10-2008, 07:56 PM
yes, and if you respond with "suck my kak, bitch" she might get the idea that you're not that into her. however, if you actually do want her, tell her you have a girlfriend. oh, the games people play

Bob
12-10-2008, 07:57 PM
yes, and if you respond with "suck my kak, bitch" she might get the idea that you're not that into her. however, if you really want her, tell her you have a girlfriend. oh, the games people play

i pulled the emergency brake on the train, broke a window, and sprinted down the tunnel

i'm trying to play hard to get

Planetary
12-10-2008, 08:02 PM
i pulled the emergency brake on the train and sprinted down the tunnel

That's what HE said

;););););)

jennyb
12-10-2008, 08:08 PM
aw how cute! GO fer it BOB! :o(y) Make us proud!

b i o n i c
12-10-2008, 08:10 PM
she totally wants to bob, bob(y)

paul jones
12-10-2008, 09:44 PM
fuck her up the shitbox

ET
12-10-2008, 09:48 PM
Oh dear god yeah she probably wants it. As someone who's let a ton of snatch slip by due to being a bonehead, I can say I've had this happen before.

The next time you talk to her mention that you're single in the exact same way that she did it to you. Especially if it's in no way related to your current situation and especially if it sounds ridiculous coming out of your mouth. She ought to be impressed that you remembered her comment word for word which means you really listened to her. Girls love that.

ammirite, ladies?

jennyb
12-10-2008, 10:12 PM
fuck her up the shitbox

You may wanna take her to dinner first. Just a thought. :p

Knuckles
12-10-2008, 11:52 PM
You may wanna take her to dinner first. Just a thought. :p

Being that you're going to do her up the shitbox I recommend no dinner.

DandyFop
12-11-2008, 12:02 AM
Wait wait wait give us the conversation here Bobby.

jennyb
12-11-2008, 12:05 AM
ohhhhhhhhh knucks... good point

b i o n i c
12-11-2008, 12:08 AM
to say the least, if you take her to dinner you most def get to duke 'er in the pooper(y)

this is serious shit bob, i hope you;re taking notes

RobMoney$
12-11-2008, 12:52 AM
Don't crap out on us Bob.
Ask her out.

Make sure you don't come off too corny though.

If she annoys you too much you could just dump her right away.

No need to take her out for date number two.






Ok, I'll stop.

Dorothy Wood
12-11-2008, 01:41 AM
depends, were you talking about filing taxes?

taquitos
12-11-2008, 01:42 AM
and sprinted down the tunnel

fuck her up the shitbox

Being that you're going to do her up the shitbox I recommend no dinner.

you most def get to duke 'er in the pooper


this is serious shit

!

ms.peachy
12-11-2008, 04:15 AM
And they say romance is dead.

b i o n i c
12-11-2008, 12:35 PM
pffffft. whoever said that hasnt figured out that they sell flowers at the gas station

b-grrrlie
12-11-2008, 02:38 PM
No-one ever gives me flowers...
and so many hints as I've given.

Freebasser
12-11-2008, 04:24 PM
fuck her up the shitbox

Ahahaha... I'm in fucking stitches!

na§tee
12-11-2008, 06:06 PM
hahah, i laughed at most of the comments here heartily :)

Guy Incognito
12-11-2008, 06:21 PM
fuck her up the shitbox

i took my wife up the shitbox last night - funny name for a pub i thought:rolleyes: It was a bit tricky getting in the entrance but nice and roomy once inside

King PSYZ
12-11-2008, 07:12 PM
I hate/love you guys

roosta
12-11-2008, 07:24 PM
ask her if she's into helicopters.

tracky
12-11-2008, 10:28 PM
still, bob?

funk63
12-11-2008, 10:36 PM
bob you get some?

ET
12-11-2008, 11:58 PM
Forget what I said and give her the brown glove treatment.

ericlee
12-12-2008, 01:51 AM
she's clearly stating that she hasn't been cloned yet, bob.

And that she needs your dong in her shitbox.

Matt
12-12-2008, 01:56 AM
Did you get your dick wet yet, bobby?

Or, did you get your dick poopy?

Bob
12-12-2008, 03:27 PM
sorry if i've left anyone in suspense; i asked her out and she said yes, it turns out she liked me and was just waiting for me to say something, and i'm really glad i did. we get along really well and i definitely feel really good about this, i think we may have a future here. i can't believe i didn't do this sooner.



lol nah i'm just kidding, i've been avoiding her because i'm terrified, my internet's just been down

depends, were you talking about filing taxes?

lol

Wait wait wait give us the conversation here Bobby.

we were talking about law school (we're both law students so that's ok) and how we were both really nervous about the jobs thing, and how our non-law school friends and family don't quite understand that most lawyers don't actually make that much money and that it's quite difficult to find a job actually, and she said something along the lines of "my friends all say 'oh you'll be fine, you're going to make a lot of money and be a sugar mama' - not that i have a boyfriend or anything - and something something something" i don't know i kind of stopped listening after "boyfriend"

it was really out of the blue and the rest of the conversation was really casual and innocent so i don't know what to make of it really

to be honest i can't imagine why she would like me. i don't mean that in an "oh i'm so boring and ugly and horrible" kind of way (though there's that too) i just mean that i've really never had that much interaction with her before, that conversation was probably the longest one we've ever had. in our 3 years here we've only ever been in one class together, our paths really don't cross that much. and she's a really sort of outgoing and friendly and sociable person and she's surrounded by friends and she competes in triathlons and stuff which means that her social circle must include some very good-looking people, so i really don't know why she would be interested in me. i can't even think of how she'd know enough about me to be interested in me, but every time she sees me, she seems happy to see me, more than most people, and she knows things about me that i haven't told her (but are publicly available, like where i've worked and gone to school) so i don't know, i'm kind of confused by the whole thing. i just kind of assumed she was just a genuinely outgoing "a stranger's just a friend you haven't met" type of person up until the boyfriend comment.

anyway i can't get her out of my head now. i'm sure she'd be thrilled to know i'm posting on the internet about her though, obsessing over every word she said to me

Freebasser
12-12-2008, 04:57 PM
Bob - pluck up the courage and ask her out.

What's the worst that can happen?

She says "ewwww... no!" before pushing you over into a puddle and running headfirst into oncoming traffic, getting hit by a 2-tonne truck in the process, the wheels cracking her head open like an overripe watermelon, and sending her brains flying across the pavement, hitting a police officer in the face, who then turns on you and tells you to get down on the ground with your hands behind your head, so you do it, but before he can arrest you, you knock him to the floor, grab the nearest car and head for the airport, before buying a 1-way ticket to Paraguay only to live a constant life of fear, constantly looking over your shoulder and waiting for the day when somebody busts you in the toilet of a seedy bar where you were playing strip-blackjack with albanian gangsters and deports you back to the U.S. to spend the next 17 years in a 1 foot by 1 foot cell with only a psychotic mass-murderer named Brian who likes to wear women's hats and howl at the full moon for company, which leaves you so terribly mentally scarred that you spend your every waking night shouting to yourself about how you killed "The law student, the sexy law student! Please don't hate me mother, no mother not the castor oil, noooooo!!! I'll be a good boy, I promise, mother", over and over again until you are taken away by the prison guards, chopped up into several different pieces and told to shut up.

Just go for it!

camo
12-12-2008, 05:06 PM
What's the worst that can happen?

Premature ejaculation.

Bob
12-12-2008, 05:24 PM
Premature ejaculation.

that'll probably happen yeah

camo
12-12-2008, 06:02 PM
knock one out before you go out (y)

beastieangel01
12-12-2008, 08:44 PM
there are so many people on this board that could have a book or movie written about them and it'd be highly successful. Bob is one of those people.

I say that with love.

Bob, make a move. Even a small move. Invite her out to something; a movie, a concert, over your house for tea. Go for it!

King PSYZ
12-12-2008, 09:22 PM
I say a double pump fade away jumper...

mikizee
12-12-2008, 10:04 PM
c'mon man

Just fucking do it.

DIGI
12-12-2008, 10:17 PM
this is serious, shit bob

lol

Dorothy Wood
12-12-2008, 10:39 PM
I wouldn't read too far into it, don't want to burst your bubble or anything. the good news is, if she were absolutely disgusted by you, she probably wouldn't have said it. so yeah, if you like her, ask her out for tea and cookies!

Lyman Zerga
12-13-2008, 12:22 AM
Bob - pluck up the courage and ask her out.

What's the worst that can happen?

She says "ewwww... no!" before pushing you over into a puddle and running headfirst into oncoming traffic, getting hit by a 2-tonne truck in the process, the wheels cracking her head open like an overripe watermelon, and sending her brains flying across the pavement, hitting a police officer in the face, who then turns on you and tells you to get down on the ground with your hands behind your head, so you do it, but before he can arrest you, you knock him to the floor, grab the nearest car and head for the airport, before buying a 1-way ticket to Paraguay only to live a constant life of fear, constantly looking over your shoulder and waiting for the day when somebody busts you in the toilet of a seedy bar where you were playing strip-blackjack with albanian gangsters and deports you back to the U.S. to spend the next 17 years in a 1 foot by 1 foot cell with only a psychotic mass-murderer named Brian who likes to wear women's hats and howl at the full moon for company, which leaves you so terribly mentally scarred that you spend your every waking night shouting to yourself about how you killed "The law student, the sexy law student! Please don't hate me mother, no mother not the castor oil, noooooo!!! I'll be a good boy, I promise, mother", over and over again until you are taken away by the prison guards, chopped up into several different pieces and told to shut up.

Just go for it!

haha
well said, too covered into cotton candy though
you know reality is much tougher than that

funk63
12-13-2008, 12:38 AM
ask her if she likes the beastie boys, always breaks the ice.

cosmo105
12-13-2008, 02:27 AM
bob. hang out with her. alone. get drinks. drinking...talking...laughing...making out...babies. that's just how the world works.

na§tee
12-13-2008, 03:48 AM
yes.

you need to stop over-analysing things and just go for it. otherwise you will never end up doing anything because you just become crippled with fear all the time. serious.

[insert positive marketing slogan here i.e. YES WE CAN or JUST DO IT!]

ericlee
12-13-2008, 06:16 AM
ask her if she likes to be called neil.

Bob
12-13-2008, 02:22 PM
there are so many people on this board that could have a book or movie written about them and it'd be highly successful. Bob is one of those people.

I say that with love.

Bob, make a move. Even a small move. Invite her out to something; a movie, a concert, over your house for tea. Go for it!

i dunno if i'd buy a book about a guy who mostly just posts on the internet all day

camo
12-13-2008, 03:46 PM
i dunno if i'd buy a book about a guy who mostly just posts on the internet all day

Just print out your posts. Job done.

Seriously though Bob, go for it. I used to be captain unconfident in my teens, take it from me - it's so not cool seeing female opportunities pass you by.

Even if she turned you down you can always say that you tried.

abcdefz
12-13-2008, 03:50 PM
And they say romance is dead.



That's because Clint Eastwood sneaks into its hospital room and pulls the life support off.



*SPOILER*

Bob
12-13-2008, 04:30 PM
bob. hang out with her. alone. get drinks. drinking...talking...laughing...making out...babies. that's just how the world works.

where do the birds come in? the bees? my parents explained this to me differently

cosmo105
12-13-2008, 07:25 PM
somewhere between the making out and babies, it's always been a blur to me

Bob
12-13-2008, 08:02 PM
is it like, you've been making out for a few years now, and you're thinking of starting a family but you aren't sure if you're ready for the responsibility yet, so maybe let's just get a pet first and see if we can handle it, but we don't really want to have to clean up after it too much, so let's just get something easy, like maybe a gerbil, or a bird?

yeahwho
12-13-2008, 08:11 PM
Premature ejaculation.

that'll probably happen yeah

Oh Yeah (http://www.hulu.com/watch/47604/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-j-in-my-pants)

Bob
12-13-2008, 08:28 PM
Oh Yeah (http://www.hulu.com/watch/47604/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-j-in-my-pants)

it works well for me that that's fashionable now. now's my time

yeahwho
12-13-2008, 09:19 PM
I think jizzing in your pants may be the best ice breaker of the new millennium. You should probably really play it up the next time you meet.

Practice with a cashier, maybe throw a fake "pants jizz" at the mall... with some mayo packets or something. See what sort of action you attract.

skra75
12-14-2008, 12:26 AM
Bob, make a move. Even a small move. Invite her out to something; a movie, a concert, over your house for tea. Go for it!

It's true. I've been in your situation countless times. countless, countless times. I've even had a girl steal my keys from me, and then toss them down her shirt, and I still didn't get the hint.

So, coming from similar camps as you, I would say to make a small move. A good 'first date' can be exactly what ba01 has said here. Take it from her, she's also been in this situation but on the reverse.

You know what works well: a walk - ask here if she wants to walk immediately after you talk to her. Like lets say - you are outside of a campus building shooting the whatever with her. Just be like, hey, I was gonna head up to get a beer wanna come with? The invite of alchohol always works, unless she's straightedge - in which case - you don't want to fuck with that anyways.

biggest points are these though - just listen and be attentive. actually shoot the shit and be engaged even if the conversation is boring or if she's flakey. and be yourself, you're a funny guy and that's prolly why theis girl digs you. don't worry about being dorky she probably digs that about you.

honestly, cosmo is the most right. just do something. but if you're shy about going alone get a group of buddies together and arrange to meet up with her and her buddies. then talk to her friends, and just talk to her every now and then and then finish up the night talking with her, then get her number and send her a goofy text message or something later on in the evening when you're back home and kicking around. I've met some nice girls this way - it sounds formulaic and gay and it probably is.

Remember what my mom used to always say about spiders - they are probably just as afraid of you as you are of them, if not more.

there are so many people on this board that could have a book or movie written about them and it'd be highly successful. Bob is one of those people.

thank you. I think I'll start writing right away :P sundance son

russhie
12-14-2008, 05:46 AM
^ good points there.

One of the guys I sorta work with is a bit of a dork, but he's funny and a total sweetheart. We had work functions all weekend, and I spent a bit of time chatting to him here and there, and we ended up sharing a cab home at the end of last night. In the cab we talked about work stuff, and he was really attentive, we chatted a little about our personal lives, and when we got to his place we did the air kiss thing, he gave the driver enough to cover the whole fare, and after he got out, he turned to me and said, "hey, russhie, I think you're really lovely, I'd like to take you out for a drink sometime" and of course I agreed. He shut the cab door and then opened it again, and said, "oh, russhie...I think you're quite hot also. But very lovely" and it made me laugh, the whole semi-awkwardness of his delivery and the fact that we were both drunk and he had ample opportunity to grope me in the back seat and didn't.

Couldn't wipe the smile off my face for ages afterwards.

mikizee
12-14-2008, 10:50 PM
Why did he call you russhie

its not yr name

is he a net nerdlinger

is he bob

its bob isnt it

dont worry i can handle it

im going to kill bob

russhie
12-15-2008, 07:02 AM
^ He used my real name, silly. I don't want people to know my real name.

Shhhh

b i o n i c
12-16-2008, 01:50 PM
whappened?!?

funk63
12-16-2008, 03:23 PM
ya fucking tease I want to know what happened.

Echewta
12-16-2008, 07:48 PM
She could be hinting she is single so you can hook her up with your single friends. A classic thinking its you mistake.

ET
12-17-2008, 03:06 AM
She could be hinting she is single so you can hook her up with your single friends. A classic thinking its you mistake.


C-c-c-combo breaker!

Bob
12-17-2008, 09:21 PM
She could be hinting she is single so you can hook her up with your single friends. A classic thinking its you mistake.

lol joke's on her, i don't have any friends

i think i figured out why i like her

1) she's single
2) she likes men
3) she talks to me
4) she's attractive
5) she hasn't revealed anything that i hate about her yet
6) she's literally the only person i've met at this school in my 3 years here that meets 1-5, i have nobody else to crush on (i only ever seem to meet people from school, generally...maybe i just hate law students)

poor her

Bob
12-21-2008, 02:05 PM
i dunno, i think i might ask her out maybe. i mean i keep thinking about her and wouldn't it be nice if she said yes and maybe we'd really hit it off and i think i'm going to name our first kid bill if it's a boy and sally if it's a girl and maybe she would have other ideas but i think i could talk her into it because it's really important to me, but i don't want to bother you with that now, that's a long story, and if she says no it isn't that big of a deal really because we don't even have any classes together or anything and after this semester ends i don't think i'm ever really going to see her again so it's not like there's going to be any awkwardness between us because we don't ever cross paths much really, and i'd hate to sit on my ass wondering what could have been so what do i stand to lose, really?

but, like i said, i don't really see her that often. it's a small school, so i bump into her every now and then, usually when she's walking the other direction. so i see her for maybe like 5 seconds a day, at most. how exactly am i supposed to ask her out? that would be kind of weird, wouldn't it, if it were like "oh hey i'm glad i bumped into you do you want to go out for coffee sometime i love you i love you i love you" and i mean obviously i would leave the second part off, but still, i feel like that's kind of weird, getting randomly asked out in the middle of the day like that.

and i mean, even if she were up for it, what am i supposed to do, just keep my eyes open for her? or hang out in central areas where she'll probably be and try to force a random encounter? that feels weird and stalkery to me, i don't want to do that.

we're friends on facebook but you can't ask someone out on facebook when you know them (more or less) in real life, that's too weird, right? that's got to be weird. i think even i would be creeped out if someone i knew face-to-face did that to me. i mean i'd say yes but i'd think she was weird for doing it. i'm not going to do that, i don't know why i even brought facebook up

i dunno it probably doesn't matter i'm probably not going to do it anyway. i just wish it weren't so weird

Dorothy Wood
12-21-2008, 07:08 PM
ask her out on a wall-to-wall thing so everyone can see it happening.

Bob
12-21-2008, 07:16 PM
ah, make it so that she'll be too embarrassed to reject me...i like it

Videodrome
12-21-2008, 08:13 PM
ask her out face to face. take it back to 1950 and shit.

cosmo105
12-21-2008, 08:25 PM
leave her a comment about something you're going to be doing/somewhere you're going to be, or "we should get together over the break for drinks" or something along those lines.

brmanuk
12-21-2008, 09:01 PM
i dunno, i think i might ask her out maybe.

your indecisivness made me lol.

you should just do it. ive missed out on lots of oppertunities like that too. thankfully one girl came along who was mega awesome so i went for it and have been happy ever since :)

Bob
02-01-2009, 01:47 AM
so it's kind of vaguely sort of come to my attention that she actually probably might have been up for it and i probably should have said something, but it's definitely probably too late for it now

whoops

i'm just writing this so that i think of it when the next one comes along

fucktopgirl
02-01-2009, 02:06 AM
Bob, deguidine come zinedinzidane!!

it mean, get the fuck on with it....


or in a more gentle way



just like go for it!

jennyb
02-01-2009, 03:25 AM
god just say 'hey woman, i think you're so hot!' and see what she says? either way she'll be flattered and stuff.... the lack of eye contact is either "I'm shy" or "I'm full of myself" you'll never know unless you test the H2O.

Adam
02-01-2009, 04:00 AM
Its not too late!

I think the mods should ban Bob from here until there is proof that she has been asked out. That might just spur him on enough to do it cus then he'll want to tell us about it and we'll want to know!

Myu-to
02-01-2009, 07:44 PM
Fucking Bob.

If I ever meet you, I'm going to slap the shit out of you. Stop being such a damn pussy.

"Hey, you wanna get some coffee?"

How fucking hard is that?

Really Bob, 2009 is your year, it's time to live life not cower on the internet.

Gareth
02-13-2009, 01:44 AM
lets say you've been seeing this girl recently and things are going pretty well and then one day (yesterday) she says she is still trying to get over her ex who went overseas 7 months ago to work but recently returned. and then she says that they are definitely broken up and she really like you and likes spending time with you but wants to just be friends and see how it goes.

that's game over, right?
what is this, a ryan reynolds/anna faris movie?

taquitos
02-13-2009, 03:38 AM
yeah game over. break it off cold asap

rirv
02-13-2009, 04:45 AM
Bob, deguidine come zinedinzidane!!

it mean, get the fuck on with it....


or in a more gentle way



just like go for it!

What has Zinedine Zidane got the do with this? Is he going to headbutt Bob in the chest for being a massive pussy?

funk63
02-13-2009, 04:52 AM
Bob hasnt been here in a while. For all we know he could be all up in some baby factory.

Pres Zount
02-13-2009, 08:54 AM
I'm with you Bob, you've missed your chance. And even if you did manage to do something now (don't try!) she might laugh at you.

I'm all for just sitting and waiting. It's worked ok for me.

If she likes you then she will come to you.

fucktopgirl
02-13-2009, 09:48 AM
What has Zinedine Zidane got the do with this? Is he going to headbutt Bob in the chest for being a massive pussy?

It is in a quebec rap song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy40UZZwSD0), what it mean is to not fuck around and get on with it. DEGUIDINE; mean stop waisting your time and make a goal, do something.

SO, it mean; Get on with it, like ZInedine Zidane would do while scoring a goal.

-T-
02-13-2009, 10:48 AM
If she likes you then she will come to you.

No, that most likely will not happen.:D

AceFace
02-13-2009, 01:40 PM
^ agreed. she gave bob the green light and he waited too long. it's probably gone to yellow and now red bye now.

Bob
02-13-2009, 02:18 PM
^ agreed. she gave bob the green light and he waited too long. it's probably gone to yellow and now red bye now.

yeah, she sort of already did come up to me...a couple times...i think...i dunno. i move too slow. like we had this class together, and on the first day, i get there and i'm sitting in the back corner, and she walks in the front of the room, on the opposite side, and she walks all the way around the room and takes the seat next to me, even though there were like a million other empty seats in the room. and then she's like "hey, you interned for [the same judge that she interned for previously] right?" and i say "yes, actually, he talked about you quite a bit (which was true, maybe he was trying to set us up)" and she said "yeah he talked about you too, we should talk later" and i say ok. and then at the end of class, i'm sort of hanging around waiting to talk to her, but she's talking to a bunch of her other friends, one of whom i hate, but that's a different story, so i'm just kind of standing there like an asshole waiting for a chance to talk to her and i've been standing here for about a minute now and i kind of feel like a goober so i'm just gonna go. that kind of thing

it is kind of frustrating though because i really never did get any chances to talk to her lately. we didn't have any classes together or anything after that, we only ever see each other in random encounters in the hallway for maybe 3 seconds at a time, it was lame. if i was going to ask her out i would have had to do it over facebook and that's too weird for me

anyway yeah best to move on now.

also i haven't been online in a while because my internet's been down for like a week and a half and i'm kind of disturbed about how hard of a time i'm having with that

Myu-to
02-13-2009, 06:20 PM
*SLAP!!!*

-T-
02-14-2009, 01:30 AM
^^^
X2


Do work man.

ToucanSpam
02-14-2009, 01:40 AM
I read this thread start to finish and I was extremely disappointed with the ending. Bob, if I can find a girl to put up with me in real life, then you can too. Think about that.

Adam
02-14-2009, 03:09 AM
Those who said you've missed your chance - no you haven't.

So what you didn't go when the light was green - you can still get to your destination cutting a red light or two. A bit more dangerous but a lot more fun!

Pres Zount
02-14-2009, 06:24 AM
Oh he's totally missed his chance. There is even a new chance that she hates him now. She's probably waited and waited and waited and got so fed up she now hates him. Hate.

I can't see someone still having any sort of romantic incline for someone after such a long wait. Best avoid her from now on, and if you do run into her, pretend like you aren't interested and never were so you don't look stupid. She might pretend to like you to get you to fall for a vengeful trap!

Adam
02-14-2009, 06:38 AM
He has made it harder for himself but I get the impression that Bob doesn't do the easy.

But the main danger is when you hit 'friends' and then its over. You just quietly obsess over them instead :-)

Its the way to go as explained here ~ http://xkcd.com/513/

Bob
02-15-2009, 02:02 AM
Oh he's totally missed his chance. There is even a new chance that she hates him now. She's probably waited and waited and waited and got so fed up she now hates him. Hate.

I can't see someone still having any sort of romantic incline for someone after such a long wait. Best avoid her from now on, and if you do run into her, pretend like you aren't interested and never were so you don't look stupid. She might pretend to like you to get you to fall for a vengeful trap!

how could you say such a thing!!!!!

Bob
02-20-2009, 09:30 PM
so i'm totally over her, but i ran into her in the hall today and we talked and she was like "so where are you going on your next internship?" and i told her and then i said "where are you going?" and she said something along the lines of "oh i'm going to DC (i already knew that because i've been stalking her on facebook but i had to pretend i didn't know that, you understand) but i think my boyfriend's going to break up with me because i'm leaving; it's ok, we've only been going out for 6 weeks, and if he loved me he'd deal with it...that's probably more than you wanted to know about my internship but something something something" i dunno i kind of forget the rest of it, but this sucks, i totally should have made a move because every time i have a conversation with this girl that's longer than 5 seconds she goes out of her way to tell me that she either doesn't have a boyfriend or that she's about to break up with one (probably because she's in love with me, not that i'm not over her)

god i want to fuck her face

Yetra Flam
02-20-2009, 09:33 PM
jeez bob :(

Yetra Flam
02-20-2009, 09:53 PM
really bob, you should be knee deep in pussy.

Helvete
02-20-2009, 10:00 PM
Bob is really shit.

Bob
02-20-2009, 10:01 PM
Bob is really shit.

indeed

ericlee
02-20-2009, 11:10 PM
This is your year, bob. Even if you have to do the Tomcats thing, "next girl I see I'm gonna fuck."

RobMoney$
02-21-2009, 01:11 AM
Good God man, she's doing everything short of waving a sign in your face.

Dorothy Wood
02-21-2009, 02:50 AM
so i'm totally over her, but i ran into her in the hall today and we talked and she was like "so where are you going on your next internship?" and i told her and then i said "where are you going?" and she said something along the lines of "oh i'm going to DC (i already knew that because i've been stalking her on facebook but i had to pretend i didn't know that, you understand) but i think my boyfriend's going to break up with me because i'm leaving; it's ok, we've only been going out for 6 weeks, and if he loved me he'd deal with it...that's probably more than you wanted to know about my internship but something something something" i dunno i kind of forget the rest of it, but this sucks, i totally should have made a move because every time i have a conversation with this girl that's longer than 5 seconds she goes out of her way to tell me that she either doesn't have a boyfriend or that she's about to break up with one (probably because she's in love with me, not that i'm not over her)

god i want to fuck her face



wait wait wait, she said, "if he loved me, he'd deal with it?" she's talking about love after 6 weeks? that's stupid, she's a fucking almost-lawyer, not a 15 year old cheerleader.

also, bob, please don't turn into a dick whore. saying you want to fuck people's faces is too creepy. say you want to "ram your salami tube in her pie hole". for god's sake. and pete's too.

Lyman Zerga
02-21-2009, 03:16 AM
you people give bob a headache

Adam
02-21-2009, 03:48 AM
Yeah, the wrongest thing about that conversation was "if he loved me" - after 6 weeks!!

She sound insane. But I still think she could be good for bob.

Yeah, you should fuck her face - right in the ear!

Do it up the pooper to - all girls want that even though they said they don't.

Freebasser
02-21-2009, 06:38 AM
Whatever you do, Bob, never show her this thread.

adam_f
02-21-2009, 07:10 AM
When I read the thread, I didn't realize it was started in December, and then I realized I probably would've found out if you got laid by now.

Either way, Bob, I hope your vagina sprouts a penis real soon. (y)

Pres Zount
02-21-2009, 07:33 AM
Show her this thread just before she leaves. Nothing to lose, plus it would be really funny.

Freebasser
02-21-2009, 08:00 AM
Better yet, get her to register and post here.

Pres Zount
02-21-2009, 10:43 AM
That would be the first step in the healing, Bob.

Trust us. We're on you're side buddy!

Freebasser
02-21-2009, 11:06 AM
Better yet - steal her clothes, dress up in them, take photos, and post the pictures in the sure shots forum.

Myu-to
02-21-2009, 11:25 AM
Bob, I hope your vagina sprouts a penis real soon. (y)
Hahahaahhahahaha!!!

He should slap his vagina until it sprouts a penis.

Seriously Bob, maybe you should ask her out online, you're funny and likeable here.

Fuckin' Bob.

-T-
02-21-2009, 11:33 AM
step 1: Stalk her on facebook
step 2: Stalk her in real life
step 5: Bury her carcass where nobody will ever find it.

adam_f
02-21-2009, 04:53 PM
Originally posted by -T-
step 5: Bury her carcass where nobody will ever find it.

PNC Park?! BA-DUM-CHING!

Jabumbo will get it.

Adam
02-22-2009, 03:24 AM
Seriously Bob, maybe you should ask her out online, you're funny and likeable here...

Yeah, there is no shame in doing that. A message on facebook to say 'hey, was thinking, would you like to go get a coffee together at some point because I think you are cool' or something - its not creepy and its easier than face to face and even if she says no you can still be friends and move onto your next stalker.

I want Bob to get laid more than me - he is making me feel frustrated reading this thread :mad: (too gay?)

adam_f
02-22-2009, 12:57 PM
Tell her you want to cum on her tits and maybe play Scrabble after.

Bob
02-23-2009, 04:40 AM
wait wait wait, she said, "if he loved me, he'd deal with it?" she's talking about love after 6 weeks? that's stupid, she's a fucking almost-lawyer, not a 15 year old cheerleader.
.

Yeah, the wrongest thing about that conversation was "if he loved me" - after 6 weeks!!

She sound insane. But I still think she could be good for bob.


well i didn't faithfully relay the way she said it, she didn't say it as though she actually expected the guy to be in love with her, she was just kind of like "oh you know, it's no big deal, we've only been dating for 6 weeks, you know, if he loved me he'd stay with me, ah ha, ha, ha" she said it in the same way that i said i wanted to fuck her face, in a sort of humorous, "i don't mean it but i sort of do" kind of way, at least that's the impression i got

Yeah, there is no shame in doing that. A message on facebook to say 'hey, was thinking, would you like to go get a coffee together at some point because I think you are cool' or something - its not creepy and its easier than face to face and even if she says no you can still be friends and move onto your next stalker.

I want Bob to get laid more than me - he is making me feel frustrated reading this thread :mad: (too gay?)

if i want to ask her out facebook is pretty much my only option because i don't have her phone number and the other day was the first time i'd seen her in about 2 weeks. and yet there she was talking about how she was about to be single again so hey, what am i to do

i really was dangerously close to quitting her, too

Myu-to
02-23-2009, 09:44 AM
what am i to do
*SLAP-P-P-P*

Actually, do nothing Bob. Make threads about lost love, never getting laid, how your hair smells like mayo, counting change, and wearing a scarf. If you ever found out how awesome the world outside truly is, you might never come back.

AceFace
02-23-2009, 09:51 AM
facebook works! tell her you hardly ever see her but you like the conversations when you do run into her and thought maybe you could have more conversation over coffee or even dinner.

:) i want bob to get laid too, and to find a good girl!

taquitos
02-23-2009, 10:20 AM
*SLAP-P-P-P*

Actually, do nothing Bob. Make threads about lost love, never getting laid, how your hair smells like mayo, counting change, and wearing a scarf. If you ever found out how awesome the world outside truly is, you might never come back.

wow. you are a dick.


also, the world outside totally sucks and is a letdown.

Myu-to
02-23-2009, 10:33 AM
Thank you.

:D

mikizee
02-23-2009, 10:35 AM
Yes, facebook is a great way to ask her out.

That way she won't be able to see your face of humiliation if she says no. But I suspect she'll say yes.

Bob
02-23-2009, 07:05 PM
i put the "pathetic" in sympathetic

also myu-to, you aren't helping as much as you think you're helping. you've made your point, consider giving it a rest, dog

RobMoney$
02-23-2009, 07:16 PM
plus asking her out on facebook requires a lot less courage than face2face.

If it was me, I'd rather ask her out and get shot down in a blaze of glory than not ask her and wonder forever if I could have tapped that ass.

Bob
02-23-2009, 07:28 PM
plus asking her out on facebook requires a lot less courage than face2face.

If it was me, I'd rather ask her out and get shot down in a blaze of glory than not ask her and wonder forever if I could have tapped that ass.

yeah i should do it. i don't stand to lose anything really, i don't really see her much and not knowing is pretty shit; at least if she rejects me and says "ew, no, you should be embarrassed for even thinking about it, i have to take a shower now" i can deal with that. i should do it. but i think i already said i'd do it earlier and obviously i didn't do it, so i'm not going to say i'm going to do it now.

of course even if i do ask her out now and she says yes, she is leaving for DC for 3 months, so the best case scenario is that i enter into a long distance relationship, which i doubt she'd be up for (i honestly don't even think i'd be up for it). she's coming back, but still. can you get laid on facebook?

oh well i'm stupid etc

Pres Zount
02-23-2009, 07:41 PM
Yeah, fuck you Myu-To. As if the rest of us don't enjoy Bob threads, or wish we could post threads like that. And I'm actually not being sarcastic this time.

Plus "the outside world" isn't just another word for sex. It's seriously not as much a big deal as you think it is if someone is a virgin. It's only turned into a big deal because you like to laud your non-virginity over other people. Most people care about Bob and his romance because we only really want to see him happy, not because he just has to hurry up and have sex. CHRIST.

At least, that's what I thought people thought.

I have been scared of asking out the opposite sex for my whole life, and it's easy to feel bad about yourself. The stuff I was saying before is the kind of thing that used to run through my head, and typing it out certainly made it look more absurd. I am not going to pretend that I have great advice, and I hope I don't come across as patronising, because I've never successfully asked a girl out, but I hope you do ask her Bob, via facebook, and that it at least goes reasonably well.

EDIT: You should work out here what you are going to say. As in, post here what you would ask her with. Also, I would be aiming for a few enjoyable dates before she leaves. You don't love her, do you?

Myu-to
02-23-2009, 08:24 PM
Wait, how I am the bad guy here?

I'm trying to help a few people get out of your slums Mr. Potter, and what's wrong with that? (http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechitsawonderfullifeboardaddress.html)

RobMoney$
02-23-2009, 08:28 PM
I know you're not into a one night stand, because those only require one night. And maybe not even a whole night, just a portion of a night.

But hey man, even if you only get in a few dates with her, you could think of it as practice for the next "one". You should work on your game as much as possible, and if she does cum back to your town in the future, things could work out for you two.

Adam
02-24-2009, 04:19 AM
Three months is very long time.

I've started and ended relationships in that time. I've also changed my whole life direction in that time. You have no clue what is gonna happen between now and then. She could win the lottery and decide to stay with you. You could end up both being 'the one' and you move with her. A nuclear bomb may wipe out half the world

Anything could happen. Three months is not 3 weeks. Things can change and if say she met someone else and then said 'oh, I've decided to stay here for him' and it'll be a horrible feeling of 'THAT COULD OF BEEN MEEEEEEEEE'

Anyone on Bobs facebook page who know who she is so they can ask her out for him?

ET
02-24-2009, 04:23 AM
It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do. So do it.

russhie
02-24-2009, 05:49 AM
Some random girl asked a guy I vaguely know out on facebook.

They were making out like crazy by the end of the night, so, maybe it's the way to go.

AceFace
02-24-2009, 10:22 AM
Three months is very long time.

I've started and ended relationships in that time. I've also changed my whole life direction in that time. You have no clue what is gonna happen between now and then. She could win the lottery and decide to stay with you. You could end up both being 'the one' and you move with her. A nuclear bomb may wipe out half the world

Anything could happen. Three months is not 3 weeks. Things can change and if say she met someone else and then said 'oh, I've decided to stay here for him' and it'll be a horrible feeling of 'THAT COULD OF BEEN MEEEEEEEEE'

Anyone on Bobs facebook page who know who she is so they can ask her out for him?

what he said! you could fall in love and have a real experience in 3 months! or 2 and a half if you keep talking about it and not do anything! :)

Nuzzolese
02-24-2009, 10:23 AM
It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do. So do it.

I disagree! You can always find another way to do what you didn't do, but you can't take back something you did and wished you didn't.

Belt Parkway
02-24-2009, 10:32 AM
Try to place yourself in a situation where you're both drinking. That always helped me, as I was equally lame w/ the ladies.

jabumbo
02-24-2009, 03:11 PM
is it the chick who went to harvard and georgetown? because that's some serious shit there....



i'm guessing the NYU one though, she looks like a winner

Bob
02-24-2009, 10:22 PM
is it the chick who went to harvard and georgetown? because that's some serious shit there....



i'm guessing the NYU one though, she looks like a winner

this is getting slightly creepy jabumbo

mikizee
02-24-2009, 11:05 PM
Will ya just hurry up and fuckin ask her out

We're gettin old here

ET
02-24-2009, 11:30 PM
I disagree! You can always find another way to do what you didn't do, but you can't take back something you did and wished you didn't.

I'll have to admit that my line of thinking doesn't apply to amputations, tattoos, or watching the entire first season of According To Jim in one sitting. But in this case he's dealing with a 3 month time limit. No thinking, just acting. Otherwise the only thing he's going to end up doing is furiously masturbating.

p.s. Not that there's anything wrong with that. :(

paul jones
02-24-2009, 11:32 PM
Has anybody heard of Harry Ola?

He's a bit of a tit

Bob
02-24-2009, 11:34 PM
I'll have to admit that my line of thinking doesn't apply to amputations, tattoos, or watching the entire first season of According To Jim in one sitting. But in this case he's dealing with a 3 month time limit. No thinking, just acting. Otherwise the only thing he's going to end up doing is furiously masturbating.

p.s. Not that there's anything wrong with that. :(

i don't even have the drive to do that much anymore these days actually

RobMoney$
02-24-2009, 11:36 PM
This might help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS8zdgOjQDI&feature=related

jabumbo
02-25-2009, 01:23 PM
this is getting slightly creepy jabumbo


hey, i just happened to be on facebook at the time somebody said they should look at your profile.


you should be glad you have more than one female friend from that fine university of yours or i could have just sent her a message right then!

rirv
02-25-2009, 01:31 PM
Hey there people, I'm Bobby Brown. They say I'm the cutest boy in town. My car is fast, my teeth are shiny and I tell all the girls they can kiss my heiny. Here I am at a famous school, I'm dressing sharp, I'm acting cool and I've got a cheerleader here who wants to help with my paper - I'll let her do all the work and maybe later I'll rape her.

Oh god, I am the American dream - I do not think I'm too extreme - and I'm a handsome son of a bitch. Going to get a good job and be real rich.

Nuzzolese
02-25-2009, 02:01 PM
If you can avoid a pointless relationship that you know won't go far, then avoid it. Why add more to your history and emotional baggage? Why open yourself up to feelings that you won't be allowed to feel for very long?

mickill
02-25-2009, 02:05 PM
Yeah, try not do anything hasty here.

Adam
02-25-2009, 02:44 PM
Yeah, try not do anything hasty here.

I actually laughed out loud then couldn't stop giggling for 10 secs

I'm ill though. I went from feeling great this morning to feeling crap this afternoon. Like a MDMA comedown. But it ain't that. So I kinda feel a little drunk is what I am saying. But a bad drunk.