WOMEN! Stop thinking you are fat! [Archive] - Beastie Boys Message Board

Adam

02-01-2009, 05:06 AM

Seriously!

Most men don't care.

Just eat and drink wtf you want. Don't calorie count. Don't go out on a date and refuse desert in case what your date, waiter, other patrons might think - it ain't attractive.

Its been getting on my nerves more and more that women have to super skinny. Its not good company to be so occupied in your mind with it. Every1 in the world is a different size except the freaks in Hollywood. Every1 has different tastes except the freaks who write the fashion magazine.

I'm seriously gonna stop dating until people stop giving a fuck about what the media thinks I want to date.

Too much to ask for some1 to be happy with who they are and just get the fuck on with enjoying life? That is far healthier than freaking out about every pound you lose or gain.

just sayin.

[/rant]

mate_spawn_die

02-01-2009, 05:13 AM

this is true

russhie

02-01-2009, 05:41 AM

Adam

02-01-2009, 05:45 AM

Ah russhie - you've just made me realised I'm as guilty as branding all women into the same box the same as you've just done with men to make a point. Point taken!

To confirm; I know not all women are obsessed with weight and fashion and how fat or a thin a celeb is and take an unhealthy obsession to be like that. Just the same way not all men are jerks

sorry.

But seriously, you should of glassed that mofo.

russhie

02-01-2009, 06:04 AM

Kid Presentable

02-01-2009, 06:09 AM

I've been working my arse off for maybe 3 weeks now, trying to lose weight. I've dropped close to four kilos, which is super, and I felt great about it, until last night.

Some random fuckwit pulled me off the dancefloor at a club, marched me over to his friends and announced he'd love to take me home...

...if only I was more attractive.

When men stop being such utter jerks for no particular reason, women will stop thinking they're fat and unattractive.

The nightclub always has been and always will be a piss-poor barometer of the human condition. When you take yourself out of the reach of arseholes, you will find that there are nicer people around. (y)

Adam

02-01-2009, 06:19 AM

^I wasn't trying to be a bitch about it, I know the majority of men out there aren't jerks. Those that are do tend to ruin girls for the nice boys though. I refuse to become jaded, or bitter or whatever about it...no matter how many idiots I meet.

I know you wasn't. I thought you making a point to me because of my sexist branding. I probably just read it wrong.

I'm calmer now though. I woke up alone with a hangover :-) But coffee has put me back to a more less-bitter state.

russhie

02-01-2009, 06:55 AM

The nightclub always has been and always will be a piss-poor barometer of the human condition. When you take yourself out of the reach of arseholes, you will find that there are nicer people around. (y)

ha, yeah. I know it. On Friday night I went to a lebanse restaurant and we sat and ate and smoked shisha or whatever and it was fantastic, so social, and these people who belong to one of the most unpopular ethnic groups (well, here anyway) were wonderfully welcoming and friendly and just really complimentary. I met a nice boy who gave me his card and asked me to smoke shisha and go latin dancing with him some other time...

I definitely saw both sides this weekend, yeah. Oh, and. There's alot more to last night's story but that was the only bit that was relevant to the topic so I left the rest out.

Kid Presentable

02-01-2009, 08:01 AM

I think really the point that Adam is driving at (or, at least the point I take from it and concur with) is that women generally speaking must stop worrying about being fat. It's that kind of passive-aggressive narcissism which makes a person far more unattractive than any amount of extra kilos could ever do.

Adam

02-01-2009, 10:13 AM

b i o n i c

02-01-2009, 12:19 PM

i concur but i larfed at the rant (y)

Lyman Zerga

02-01-2009, 06:45 PM

i only whine about being fat when im actually fat

Myu-to

02-01-2009, 07:22 PM

I've been working my arse off...
Maybe you would be more attractive if had an ass.

Just a thought, most guys like asses on women.

ms.peachy

02-01-2009, 07:25 PM

Yetra Flam

02-02-2009, 12:19 AM

did that happen to you?

russhie

02-02-2009, 02:00 AM

Kid P puts it well. In my fairly limited experience though, men tend to shoot themselves in the foot with the whole thing - I dated a boy for a bit who complained that I lacked self confidence, but had no problems telling me that I was already good looking but "if I worked a little harder" that I could be great (he really was very complimentary beyond that, though, so he's not a bad person).

Also, a large component of my professional life is centred around image, so, between that and dating/socialising there's enormous pressure to look a particular way. For me personally, anyway. It's very very difficult to escape it.

I'm not just saying it's men, either. Girls are very catty. Parents can be critical. It's just that because there's usually sex and a degree of vulnerablity associated with men that it's difficult to come to terms with all this perfect woman bullshit.

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 02:59 AM

i like it when girls are fat in the ass

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 03:02 AM

oh yeah

fat in the titties too

Dorothy Wood

02-02-2009, 03:09 AM

women think they're fat because shit like this exists: http://www.momlogic.com/2008/11/hey_moms_stay_hot_or_stay_sing.php

bleh.

listen, hot women exist, the perfect body/face/skin thing isn't very common, but it exists, and I feel like a lot of men somehow believe that they deserve to be with a woman like that...that one day they'll find that perfect-looking chick and she's also going to be "just one of the guys" and have a great personality, and be financially independent, have no baggage, etc. etc. and then like doves appear and angels are singing and shit and holy fuck, you're going to marry this girl because she's so so perfect (and most likely gives great blow j's and is up for anal).

I'm not saying alll men feel this way...but I'm willing to bet a lot feel this way. and by "perfect", I don't even mean playboy perfect, I mean the idea of perfection that each man develops for himself.

It's an awful lot of pressure on women really, the pursuit of perfection. this idea gets propagated that if you somehow lose the weight, or clear up your skin, or got breast implants or lipo or whatever...that everything else will fall into place. you'll get a great job a great man and you'll finally be happy, it will be perfect. but's that's pretty much bullshit. and if you turn off the t.v. and put down the magazines and really look around you at the human beings that actually exist in this world and society, you'll see that almost everyone is a different size and shape. and you can't tell me that those people don't deserve love or happiness because they don't look a certain way.

bottom line is, fitness is attractive. it indicates health and looks good and totally gives people boners. that will never change. if the healthy part was emphasized more than the looks part, we'd all be a lot better off...but healthy doesn't sell as many diet pills/books/programs or gym memberships or home gym gadgets as sexy does, so the money machine (and the resulting poor self-image it causes for some people) keeps rolling along.

if people just accepted themselves and focused on making themselves the best they can be as an individual instead of comparing themselves to others or striving for some lofty media/consumer-driven ideal, I think we'd all be happier and getting laid more often.

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 03:25 AM

most guys want that perfectly pretty bitch because 99 percent of females are uterly useless when they open their mouths so something has to be made up for, and the ones that are cool and interesting are nutty. they're nutty because since they're cool and interesting they were shunned by the other females while growing up! you ladeis are so cruel to each other!

most of the ladies around here are cool though. you twats are pretty funny and have shit to say. (y)

but you ladies are by far not part of the average female population. the average female woundn't be caught dead around here.

Dorothy Wood

02-02-2009, 03:39 AM

I dated a boy for a bit who complained that I lacked self confidence, but had no problems telling me that I was already good looking but "if I worked a little harder" that I could be great (he really was very complimentary beyond that, though, so he's not a bad person).

you know, that behavior just shouldn't be tolerated. the whole "yeah, but he was nice otherwise" is total crap. my mom was just saying something similar the other day about my father (they've been divorced 22 years). he used to tell her she was fat and she says that she stood up for herself and didn't tolerate it....but I countered that she just should have never dated him. not tolerating it means get the fuck out of that relationship instantly (I wouldn't have been born if she did, I guess, but whatever).

seriously, you're better off being with someone who doesn't just accept your body, but loves it too.

I'm not trying to be preachy, these are things I have to remind myself of. and I guess I've been thinking about this stuff a lot lately because I started working out again and am seeing results, so that leads to fantasies of being thin and gorgeous, and having boys fall all over me constantly. but then I think about how that kind of sucks to be liked just for your looks, and how I'd rather have a person like me no matter what I weigh.

ah, I have too much to say on this topic!

Dorothy Wood

02-02-2009, 03:43 AM

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 03:44 AM

96%

Dorothy Wood

02-02-2009, 03:49 AM

I was thinking more like 75%. actually, I'm pretty sure 75% of all people are useless.

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 03:53 AM

i still think it's a higher percetage for females. females don't even have hobbies! show me guy that doesn't have hobby! c'mon!

Kid Presentable

02-02-2009, 03:57 AM

How about we make a deal, when men stop having mid-life crises and leaving their perfectly normal looking wives who have borne them children for newer models who have not yet felt the effects of gravity, women will stop worrying about being fat. OK?

Personalities. Get off the 'fat' thing, women. We can see 'perfect' bodies any time on the internet. It's your personalities you need to be obsessing over - the 'fat' thing is a manifestation of that.

I love a woman with a fat personality.

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 03:59 AM

fat in the titties too, right? RIGHT???

Kid Presentable

02-02-2009, 04:07 AM

I'm only half-lying - volume in all the places. Cushy in the thighs is good when one is diving and it's a cold night.

Empowered modern women have forced advertisers to treat men as the new women; obsessing over looks, matching cosmetic, pointless shit to self-worth. In 5 years time it will be men worrying to a similar degree about body image.

russhie

02-02-2009, 04:08 AM

you know, that behavior just shouldn't be tolerated. the whole "yeah, but he was nice otherwise" is total crap. my mom was just saying something similar the other day about my father (they've been divorced 22 years). he used to tell her she was fat and she says that she stood up for herself and didn't tolerate it....but I countered that she just should have never dated him. not tolerating it means get the fuck out of that relationship instantly (I wouldn't have been born if she did, I guess, but whatever).

seriously, you're better off being with someone who doesn't just accept your body, but loves it too.

I'm not trying to be preachy, these are things I have to remind myself of. and I guess I've been thinking about this stuff a lot lately because I started working out again and am seeing results, so that leads to fantasies of being thin and gorgeous, and having boys fall all over me constantly. but then I think about how that kind of sucks to be liked just for your looks, and how I'd rather have a person like me no matter what I weigh.

ah, I have too much to say on this topic!

Yeah, he was a nice kid though. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, it was a crappy thing to say, but at the same time he was very fit and image conscious so it sorta made sense. He had high standards for himself personally so why shouldn't he find someone who shares the same sort of view? It's probably not right to find someone you like aspects of and attempt to influence the changing of other aspects that aren't "perfect" but he genuinely liked me and that's why I stopped seeing him in the end - I just didn't have the time to see him as much as he wanted and I just don't want a relationship at all right now.

Having said that, I have ridiculously high standards for myself as well, which is part of the reason I have so many body issues. I tend to chase boys who are fit and therefore in demand, I suppose, from other girls, which makes them less available to me in anything other than a physical sense because they get to pick and choose from all the pretty girls and why stop at one when you can have two or three?

My unattainable desire for the perfect body comes from being raised in an overly critical family, and the angst over the way I look is perpetuated by some of the boys I meet.

It's nice to say that we should all be with someone who loves us as we are but for me that won't happen till I can sort myself out - I generally don't trust people who say I'm attractive.

haha...I too have much to say on this topic!

Dorothy Wood

02-02-2009, 04:39 AM

Yeah, he was a nice kid though. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, it was a crappy thing to say, but at the same time he was very fit and image conscious so it sorta made sense. He had high standards for himself personally so why shouldn't he find someone who shares the same sort of view? It's probably not right to find someone you like aspects of and attempt to influence the changing of other aspects that aren't "perfect" but he genuinely liked me and that's why I stopped seeing him in the end - I just didn't have the time to see him as much as he wanted and I just don't want a relationship at all right now.

Having said that, I have ridiculously high standards for myself as well, which is part of the reason I have so many body issues. I tend to chase boys who are fit and therefore in demand, I suppose, from other girls, which makes them less available to me in anything other than a physical sense because they get to pick and choose from all the pretty girls and why stop at one when you can have two or three?

My unattainable desire for the perfect body comes from being raised in an overly critical family, and the angst over the way I look is perpetuated by some of the boys I meet.

It's nice to say that we should all be with someone who loves us as we are but for me that won't happen till I can sort myself out - I generally don't trust people who say I'm attractive.

haha...I too have much to say on this topic!

well, hopefully you can break the cycle. I'd say in general, people are more attractive when they're not trying to be attractive. and the most fun and genuine experiences I've had have been when I look like an idiot. but I totally get the hot thing. I mean, sexy is sexy. sometimes mindlessly banging someone really good looking is awesome. some of the boys I've hooked up with were lovely, but ultimately idiots. doesn't mean I didn't like the looks of them when they were naked. ha. *high five*

I don't really go for a certain body type though, I just like cute faces and pants that fit well. I mean even hot people have gross things about them anyway. like weird thumbs or stinky feet or a strange dry patch somewhere, scars, etc.

eventually you just get over it if you really like a person I think. or at least that happens to me. one of my exes had really ugly knees, he was tall and thin and cute, but his knees were just like bleh...I don't know chunky or something. but I mean, you can't do anything about knees. I just pretended they weren't there. ha.

Adam

02-02-2009, 05:03 AM

I think I might be in the minority of men reading this topic.

But in my experience of dating and who I've been out with they have always had pretty solid personalities and often older than me. Different sizes and weight - they are just happy being alive.

I've changed a lot in the last 10 years since I was 18 tho, but back then you did also care what your friends think about who you dated. She couldn't be fat but she could have major personality traits that get on your nerves - as long as she was hot (in the media sense). Easily reversed these days. I would do Dawn French before I would do Kate Moss.

Kate Moss to me is the evil that has help make a millions of young women so self conscience that they've been watered down and almost taught to not go outside until you are either giving it away or have starved yourself two days before a night out.

^^I suppose I am not a nice person in the sense that I don't have the time to help someone who else might be a great partner get over not looking like a pale 12 year old boy.

I think its why I've always dated older women, because their head is screwed on and they are more mature about how they look. But now I am nearer 30 than I am 25, women my age are also starting to see the wood for the trees.

I've gone through too much in life to want to deal with that and thus the reason for the rant because I was waking up from such annoyance. I'm not saying thin is bad, I'm not saying fat is bad. I'm just saying, if you have concerns about your weight - make sure they are only health related, not body image. The reason for losing 25% of your body weight should be to cut down on heart disease, cancer, diabetes etc. Not because a magazine says you should be thinner to look like whatever anti-christ the papers says is the next thin thing. The chances are if you start to think more positively you will become more healthier because you just enjoy life more.

I know its not that easy to just change how you think because its been conditioned into us. But I have no time other than to rant on a message board to help someone get over such an unhealthy obsession.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh - I'm ranting again. I really want to stop these rants because they are never well argued - but I can't. I know what I mean anyway :-)

ms.peachy

02-02-2009, 05:33 AM

did that happen to you?

LOL good god, no. Mr.p is not the 'trophy wife' sort. However, there is no denying that an awful lot of men are. I've seen it happen and it ain't nice.

Kid Presentable

02-02-2009, 06:36 AM

LOL good god, no. Mr.p is not the 'trophy wife' sort. However, there is no denying that an awful lot of men are. I've seen it happen and it ain't nice.

You don't how much more awesome those trophy wives are personality-wise.

EDIT: Generally, I mean.

Pres Zount

02-02-2009, 06:55 AM

I just want to say that I think Dorothy is doing a great job and ruling this thread.

b i o n i c

02-02-2009, 12:09 PM

so in short, adam likes t & a

AceFace

02-02-2009, 12:43 PM

i agree with everything dotty w has said. she spot on!

beastieangel01

02-02-2009, 03:42 PM

this entire topic is a sticky one.

I can only speak from personal experience I suppose. I go back and forth on image issues. For the most part I feel okay, but there are times where I feel completely inferior. Partly because of what is mainstream and partly because what people have said to my face (people from strangers, to 'friends', to boyfriends and even family). In the end most of the things that I want to change, fix or improve are things that I was/have/am made fun of for. If I'm not perfect that's fine, I just don't want anyone to have a reason to make fun of me or be hurtful anymore about those particular flaws I'm being bullied about.

From a detached perspective it's sad that people lash out and like to point out imperfections but it happens. I'd like to say that I'm over it and/or don't care but it's difficult to get past.

seriously, you're better off being with someone who doesn't just accept your body, but loves it too.

definitely. This is the one thing that has made amazing changes for me. I don't want to say find someone like this it fixes everything, but it certainly helps. I have the most amazing, supportive, complimentary (without being obnoxious or a 'yes man') boyfriend in the universe. He makes me feel ridiculously beautiful and wanted. If this doesn't work, there is no way I could deal with someone who seriously calls me fat!

Adam

02-02-2009, 03:43 PM

so in short, adam likes t & a

Yes. But no fat chicks (!)

Yetra Flam

02-02-2009, 08:25 PM

women think they're fat because shit like this exists: http://www.momlogic.com/2008/11/hey_moms_stay_hot_or_stay_sing.php

and this:
http://www.momlogic.com/2008/09/brits_like_em_big_americans_do.php

ToucanSpam

02-02-2009, 09:46 PM

Personality > Looks

Even though she treats me like utter shit on this board, I'm completely on board with what Dorothy Wood is saying.

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 09:47 PM

awwwwww

Lyman Zerga

02-02-2009, 09:57 PM

without men on this earth i would feel much better about my body

not cause i wouldnt care about my weight then but cause so many guys made fun of my body, i remember once a guy compared me with some skinny girl and said SEE thats what youre supposed to look like! instead of looking all fat and nasty! and i was not even quite fat at that time, just not as skinny

i would say men turned women into drama shits

-T-

02-02-2009, 10:46 PM

Empowered modern women have forced advertisers to treat men as the new women; obsessing over looks, matching cosmetic, pointless shit to self-worth. In 5 years time it will be men worrying to a similar degree about body image.

Im afraid you are right. I do currently see this being more and more the case. uhhg

funk63

02-02-2009, 10:49 PM

I find it hard to imagine what women did before the advent of mirrors..

-T-

02-02-2009, 10:51 PM

^^^

Whatever a man told her to do.

funk63

02-02-2009, 10:54 PM

Oh right.

TurdBerglar

02-02-2009, 11:29 PM

Dorothy Wood

02-03-2009, 02:00 AM

and this:
http://www.momlogic.com/2008/09/brits_like_em_big_americans_do.php

yeah, but I think with those pictures, the first lady had the nicest boobs and that had something to do with it. also, she was posing in a flirtatious manner it seems. the whole thing seemed rather unscientific.

anyway, *takes bow, accepts compliments for my responses to the topic at hand*

beastieangel01

02-03-2009, 01:52 PM

yeah, but I think with those pictures, the first lady had the nicest boobs and that had something to do with it. also, she was posing in a flirtatious manner it seems. the whole thing seemed rather unscientific.

I agree. Also the faces are all different so that could be a factor as well depending on who is looking at the photos. Too many variables!

HEIRESS

02-03-2009, 03:51 PM

I am 180 pounds.

fact.

b i o n i c

02-03-2009, 04:04 PM

MEN! Stop thinking you're going bald!

Lyman Zerga

02-03-2009, 06:48 PM

I am 180 pounds.

fact.

yeah but 180 pounds pure fun!

russhie

02-03-2009, 08:49 PM

I am 180 pounds.

fact.

No way, from the pictures I've seen on here I'd have thought you were a similar weight to me. You look great...now I feel super creepy :(

Yetra Flam

02-03-2009, 08:54 PM

i'm watching the biggest loser now.

russhie

02-03-2009, 09:09 PM

^I'm undecided about that show. I mean, ultimately getting people that big to lose weight is a good thing but it seems kinda exploitative.

That, and they seem to pick people who will scrub up ok at the end of the show.

Yetra Flam

02-03-2009, 09:11 PM

i don't like how the trainers constantly act disgusted at the contestants. jillian is especially mean.

beastieboysbaby

02-03-2009, 09:13 PM

i'm skinny as a rail ! :eek:

yeahhhh....

Yetra Flam

02-03-2009, 09:16 PM

yeah aren't you like 13? it will come, trust me

instigator7022

02-04-2009, 07:24 AM

I don't really go for a certain body type though, I just like cute faces and pants that fit well. I mean even hot people have gross things about them anyway. like weird thumbs or stinky feet or a strange dry patch somewhere, scars, etc.

lets leave scars out of this. Scars aren't gross. They prove you're alive and have a past.

HEIRESS

02-04-2009, 05:34 PM

No way, from the pictures I've seen on here I'd have thought you were a similar weight to me. You look great...now I feel super creepy :(

ayyy that's an awesome compliment!

I'm only 5foot6 too!

I just someone carry all that weight in a way that disguises it, i suppose.
or perhaps all the excuses of "Im big boned" and "muscle weighs more than fat" are actually true in my case.

meh.

it doesn't mean I dont wish for a different body somedays just like everybody else.
especially when it comes to cute boots, my calves are so large (yet solid) that i cannot for the life of me squeeze them into any tradicitional zip-up boots in any store.
believe me, I have tried on many, many, many a pair of boots and met with utter failure of the zipper to even get past my lower calf area.

beastieangel01

02-04-2009, 05:45 PM

yeah aren't you like 13? it will come, trust me

what she said.
seriously!

haha :(

russhie

02-05-2009, 07:03 AM

ayyy that's an awesome compliment!

I'm only 5foot6 too!

I just someone carry all that weight in a way that disguises it, i suppose.
or perhaps all the excuses of "Im big boned" and "muscle weighs more than fat" are actually true in my case.

meh.

it doesn't mean I dont wish for a different body somedays just like everybody else.
especially when it comes to cute boots, my calves are so large (yet solid) that i cannot for the life of me squeeze them into any tradicitional zip-up boots in any store.
believe me, I have tried on many, many, many a pair of boots and met with utter failure of the zipper to even get past my lower calf area.

You carry it really well, I'm five four and about 133 pounds at the moment, any extra shows on me and it messes with my head - I'm just one of those people who looks heavier straight away. Ideally I'm shooting for 115-120 pounds, but I've just hurt my achilles and it's going to be difficult with a longish layoff ahead of me.

I hear the calves thing, though, I don't know what boot manufacturers are doing, but I take an Australian size 8 (which is about as average as it gets, really) and my calves are more on the slender side, but I still struggle sometimes until I've stretched the leather proper. It's highly annoying.

Yetra Flam

02-05-2009, 02:12 PM

Lyman Zerga

02-05-2009, 09:11 PM

i think they're supposed to be tight.

and yeah, back to the topic at hand. you guys have a tendency do really shitty, cruel, mean things to women. and for no good reason! to girls that don't deserve it at all! why! yeah yeah i know not 100% of you, but a lot of you do. i know it's not just me either, there's others. so i mean, shit, no wonder some women hate themselves, not just their bodies.

exactly.

i got lot of bad comments from guys when i was heavier
i would have kinda understood it if i wore tight and short clothes but i always tried to cover all up yet i still got those comments like i always needed a reminder of how fat i was, like i didnt know

monkey

02-05-2009, 09:50 PM

from my personal experience, i never thought i was REALLY fat till i got outside point of views.

growing up, i was a chunky kid, but i didnt think anything of it until my parents started telling me i was a fat girl. that was fucking heartbreaking. my dad would say to me "you know, your mom is very thin, and i'm thin too. you come from thin people. your genes aren't fat."

once in cross country practice (in college) the girls were comparing stomachs (as girls do) and one of the girls said to me "ugh, your tummy is a mess"

one time, dancing with a cross country boy, he said to me "we run a lot, why do you still have this?" while grabbing onto my fat hips (this is while i was at my skinniest and fittest).

then there's my wonderful best friend, who's reminded me many times that though i have a nice body, i could stand to lose 10-15 lbs. or i should do more situps to fix my tummy.

i can't fix my tummy. at my fittest, running 8+ miles daily, doing weights and ab workouts, i still have fleshy big hips and a soft belly.

and it's so so hard for me to weigh 125 lbs. nearly impossible to get to 120. i feel best at 130, but i need to work hard and eat little. i'm naturally around 135 when i eat well but dont exercise or if i exercise and i eat whatever i want. and right now i'm pushing 140 cause ive been eating a lot and not exercising at all for a little while.

im not ashamed of my weight or my body. i just get down on myself when i feel like people disregard me when im a little chunkier. it's true. i get ignored more the more weight i put on. and even though it's not like i really care for the attention, when you don't get it, it kinda sucks.

so basically, the reason i just told y'all my weight and my weight issues is that i can't help but feel fat. i will never be a little skinny thing. i am a thick girl and throughout my life people have expected me not to be. im trying to be HAPPY with my body by making it strong. but i can't help but want to look skinny when others have told me so many times how much better i would look if i was thinner.

russhie

02-06-2009, 01:15 AM

^ I hear you on the parents thing - I'm by far the smallest in my family, always was a skinny little thing, then when I started drinking, driving and working I filled out a little. I remember my mum being cruel to my older sister about gaining weight, so one summer when I was 18 or so, I was bumming around in a white singlet top and some cutoffs and my mum poked my belly a little and said "you're starting to look like your sister". I knew what she meant, called her on it, and she told me she was referring to my outfit. Total bullshit cause my older sister was a tomboy and never sported tight tops and denim cutoffs. I couldn't have weighed more than 58kg at the time. I don't know what I was more shocked at - my mum being critical of my weight, or the fact that she tried to backpedal on it. There's more to it, of course, when I was 16 and quite thin (but not dangerously so) she threatened to hospitalise me if I didn't eat more. I dunno. I was in training at the time, running 5k's a day, so, I don't know what she expected. I was just damn fit. And when I was maybe 11 she told my teacher that I had an eating disorder, just because I didn't eat my sandwiches at school. I just didn't like sandwiches...but when the teacher got involved I suddenly learned a whole lotta stuff about anorexia and I now sorta pinpoint that as the spot where I started becoming aware of myself and how people saw me, leading to alot of the anxieties I have with my body today.

The guys in my life have generally been incredibly complimentary, so in that sense I'm lucky, but at the same time I can't see what they see so I think most times they're lying. On top of that, there's the occasional arsehole who'll say "you're good as you are, but if you worked harder you could be great" which kinda fucks things up for the nicer ones.

Dorothy Wood

02-06-2009, 02:18 AM

in high school, at my thinnest in my matured body, I weighed 165. I was eating cereal for breakfast, a turkey sandwich (2 slices of turkey on wheat bread, no condiments) and and apple/pear/yogurt and a can of coke for lunch, and a sensible dinner. no snacks. and I worked out 2-3 hours a day, 6 days a week because I was an athlete. I was healthier and more fit than anyone I knew, but I was still always bigger than most girls and I hated my body.

it makes me feel sick to hear you guys be so worried about your weight. and I'm sorry you've had negative experiences. I guess it might be easier to deal with some extra flab if you're far away from being perfect anyway. maybe it's harder if you're close and just cant get there. I don't know.

I weigh about 195 pounds right now, I weighed 185ish in this picture: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v350/sarkyd/IMG_3202.jpg

I think you ladies need to be dating different dudes. I mean, I'm quite sure I could cast a wider net if I were thin, but the dudes I've been with have had nothing but love for what I got. so even when my mom starts picking at my size, or goes on and on about what I could do to lose weight...I'm really never that upset about it. I've been in the position of being photographed frequently in the past 2 years, and that is the only thing that's bothered me, because I feel like I look fat for the first time in a long time. so I'm working on it. plus I'm almost 30 so I need to start taking care of myself better. meh.

Adam

02-06-2009, 05:06 AM

Some of the replies in the thread are depressing.

Plus it was only a hungover rant I did early one morning, didn't expect more than 2 replies.

Anyway, D.Wood is right, date different people.

The point of the thread is that its not attractive (to me anyway and most people I know) to be constantly talking/worried about your weight or the size of one body part to another or to some1 elses. Most don't give a shit.

What is highly annoying is taking some1 out of a nice meal and drinks and the main concern is 'oh I'll just eat the salad'. Or, 'I'm only going to drink straight vodka even though I hate it but its less calories than wine'

The guys who are concerned about that stuff are the same guys who will buy the next thinner sexier laptop than the one they bought 2 months ago because of its status. These are the arses of society who has made such a mess of the economic world. The ones who run the magazines and TV shows to peddle whatever crappy product they have invested in and what to unload to the masses. Its sick and unhealthy, just like them.

By just being happy with who you are is far sexier than losing an extra 10-20lbs. And in return, you become healthier in mind and body because you prefer to enjoy life than deny life.

Myu-to

02-06-2009, 10:03 AM

Three pages?

This thread is getting fat.

beastieangel01

02-06-2009, 01:24 PM

ugh, some of these responses are depressing but it really is something all us women have dealt with.

Didn't anyone teach their kids "if you have nothing nice to say..."?

:/

b i o n i c

02-06-2009, 01:27 PM

because, of course, most women are soooo great to men :rolleyes:

beastieangel01

02-06-2009, 01:42 PM

I cannot speak for all women, but I personally can say that I have never once criticized a guy on his looks. Especially weight.

But I'm the kind of woman that likes a handsome face. I could care less about a guys body when it comes down to it.

russhie

02-06-2009, 08:52 PM

I don't think anyone who has replied to this thread has said that the way they feel about their bodies has affected them to that extent. I know girls who are sensitive about weight but they generally don't bang on about it all the time, or eat things they don't like to keep the calories down. They're just careful.

As a side note the two idiots who recently told me I was unattractive were at the club I went to last night and both were adamant that they'd never say awful things to "something so pretty" so I suppose I win. Idiots.