Things cats do [Archive] - Beastie Boys Message Board

Nuzzolese

02-23-2009, 04:27 PM

My boyfriend's mom has a cat that is usually very cute and sweet, but last night he went crazy when a strange kitten came snooping around the porch. The strange cat was not provoking him, but he got so angry! He hissed and moaned, growled and even snorted! He started to throw punches anytime someone tried to get close to him. I was so scared he was going to go for my eyes, I held up a blanket as protection but he took that as a challenge and started to stalk me like a tiger. I'd never been so scared of a cat before! Finally I called his bluff and threw the blanket down in an act of devil-may-care defiance and yelled "HARRR!" which sent him flying under the kitchen table where he stayed for hours moaning and whining, and figting off anyone who approached. So weird. He was possessd. I tried to lure him back to reality with a piece of gin-soaked ham, which he ate willingly, before resuming his demon-cat behavior.

After about an hour he fell asleep, then when he woke up after a 15-minute nap he was back to normal, crawling into my lap looking hungover and acting like nothing happened. I don't think he even remembers it happening.

Echewta

02-23-2009, 04:39 PM

Animals experience pain and discomfort in many different ways. Perhaps kitty had a stomach ache and didn't feel like being friendly or being touched. Or perhaps kitty was upset that Sean Penn won for a mimic performance instead of Mickey who created a character.

paul jones

02-23-2009, 04:48 PM

Echewta's right.cats are fucking obsessed with the Oscars

Rock

02-23-2009, 04:51 PM

In my younger years I was at a friends house just chillaxing as some kids say. I kept hearing a THUMP THUMP THUMP and said "greg, is anyone else home?" he said no....and then again I heard a THUMP THUMP THUMP. And I asked "you sure?". Greg said that the sound was probably his diabetic cat named Beast. Never seen the cat before and it finally entered the room. It must have been about two and half feet tall and triple that in girth. And then when it meowed it was the deepest meow a cats vocal chords could make. It was enough to scare me into leaving.

Never have been scared of a cat before or after that.

edit: i just realized I lied. I was scared of a cat we rescued from our neighbors. He was very loving but would bite and swat at you if you didn't give him enough love or gave him too much love. I miss that fatfuck.

Dorothy Wood

02-23-2009, 04:51 PM

my cat is like that. his possession doesn't last that long though. the people who lived next door had a cat that would purposely come over to the kitchen window to taunt george. the neighbor cat would be all, "what's the big deal?" and george would flip the f out. flailing, screaming, growling.

but the worst was when the cat got out into the shared hallway and started sticking his paws under our front door. george lost his mind. he was screaming so loud I thought he would explode. I'm pretty sure the cat on the other side of the door was just out there snickering. I tried to get george away from the door by picking him up and he turned and snapped at me and bit my thumb all the way down to the bone. so I left him alone and ran out the back door and went next door to tell the lady to get her damn cat back in her apartment.

that cat was such a dick. he was really cute, and if you saw him outside, he'd rub against your legs and try to get you to pet him. but then if you did, he'd bite your hand and swat your arm with his claws. asshole.

checkyourprez

02-23-2009, 05:11 PM

things cats do...

suck at life.

dogs rule.

cats drool.

na§tee

02-23-2009, 05:12 PM

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Nuzzolese

02-23-2009, 05:26 PM

ha! What is UP with cats, y'all?

Seriously, why do they seduce you into petting them only so they can suddenly turn on you? I think they start to feel trapped at times, or oppressed by too much attention. I feel that way. Sometimes I'll be laughing and hugging a person and then all of a no good reason I want to slap them and scream "back off!"

Lyman Zerga

02-23-2009, 05:58 PM

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p137/randetica/few-cat-scratches.jpg

problem solved

Bob

02-23-2009, 07:10 PM

my cat does that with my dog (well they aren't "my" pets but it's easier to say that than it is to say "my roommate's cat does that with my roommate's dog - it's a different roommate though, it's not one roommate that owns both animals, they'd probably be used to each other now if that were the case" and i'm trying to keep it brief here). the dog is big and playful so he'll get all jumpy and stompy with the cat but the cat takes it as a threat so she hisses and growls and swipes at his face (she's declawed thank goodness). but it's crazy because the cat is the aggressor most of the time. i've seen the dog walk down the hall, minding his own business, and the cat jumps out of a doorway and starts shit, and then she whines like she's the victim. stupid cat.

mickill

02-23-2009, 07:22 PM

I agree with the cat. I don't get why Sean Penn won either.

mikizee

02-23-2009, 08:47 PM

cats are fuckheads and always will be

Myu-to

02-23-2009, 08:48 PM

You think Sean Penn should have won?

mickill

02-23-2009, 09:15 PM

Yes, I don't get why Sean Penn won, and therefore think he should have won.

Whatitis

02-23-2009, 09:51 PM

Prop 8 helped him win.

Cats are awesome.

monkey

02-23-2009, 09:55 PM

cats = women

love me, love me, love me, fuck you, love me, love me, love me...

mickill

02-23-2009, 09:59 PM

I was the victim of an unprovoked attack, courtesy of this cat named Tom during Thanksgiving one year, and have since found it difficult to respect these animals.

Sean Penn's a member of the Academy. I think that may have given him a slight edge over Mickey.

TurdBerglar

02-23-2009, 11:37 PM

when cats rub up against you, they're not being friendly. they're saying...you're mine, bitch! they're claiming you. that's not so nice and friendly now, isn't it?

Documad

02-23-2009, 11:46 PM

Bob

02-23-2009, 11:51 PM

you know what i just realized? for my entire life, and i mean literally right up until this very second, i've been confusing mickey rourke with mickey rooney

this probably deserves its own thread but i don't have the time

kll

02-24-2009, 01:26 AM

worst thread ever

Bob

02-24-2009, 01:28 AM

i dunno i thought i came pretty close to saving it towards the end. mickey rourke and mickey rooney??? they're like night and day!

kll

02-24-2009, 01:33 AM

^ i'll give you that. i actually pondered that one. and smiled.

Myu-to

02-24-2009, 09:56 AM

Cats are independent like Kelly Clarkson, dogs are needy like Jessica Simpson.

I had a cat that acted like a dog, he was the best pet ever. I still miss him.:(

Nuzzolese

02-24-2009, 10:12 AM

Individual performances aside, Sean Penn is a better actor over all.

AceFace

02-24-2009, 10:15 AM

Dogs know best. Sean Penn deserved the Oscar.

Mickey got a comeback and that was enough for now.

My friend's cat was looking out the window, saw a bird, and did a crazy thing with his chin for about 5 minutes. I've never seen that before but I'm allergic to cats and thus spend little time with them.
they chatter and click at birds and squirrels. i'm not sure what it means other than "i really want to hunt that thing down!".

i like cats. Olly Steeds says that when he went under the Machighenga hallucination drugs, all he saw were cats for miles and he learned that cats know more about the universe than anyone else. i thought that was a neat observation.

Nuzzolese

02-24-2009, 10:21 AM

The ancient egyptians mummified cats, and I've always loved the idea of mummy kitties coming to life to guard tombs; raiders being surrounded by meowing, stiff-walking, bandage-wrapped kitties.

Lyman Zerga

02-24-2009, 10:49 AM

Individual performances aside, Sean Penn is a better actor over all.

true

Echewta

02-24-2009, 01:28 PM

A mummified Sean Penn would be pretty cool.

beastieangel01

02-24-2009, 01:39 PM

the man who is now my boyfriend lived alone with his cat. He is the best boyfriend I've ever had. I've dated other men that lived with a cat or cats, they were very nice as well. I knew men that owned dogs and they were extremely focused on themselves and what they need (take take take), at least, most of them did.

whatever, though.

Cats make me laugh. So do dogs. I think I like cats a little more though because dogs get super smelly really quick and I hate when a dog licks me a lot because I constantly have to wash my hands. I can't let a dog lick me then go about my business. I feel gross.

My boyfriends cat likes to chew on plastic things. I don't understand it. I bought her one of those bows you put on presents for Christmas and she chewed the shit out of it. She doesn't eat it, just bites.

paul jones

02-24-2009, 01:40 PM

I bet Sean Penn can lick his own bottom,like a cat....and Madonna,I bet she can get her own head up her starfish

hardnox71

02-24-2009, 02:22 PM

Cats do things like piss on my side of the bed every fucking day.

I couldn't stand my ex's cat.:mad:

Nuzzolese

02-24-2009, 02:24 PM

I love when they make biscuits

AceFace

02-24-2009, 02:38 PM

^ YES! purr purr purrr.

TAL

02-24-2009, 02:45 PM

Die.

On the 3rd it will be four years since I found my parents cat in their livingroom. Coolest thing it ever did.

The best part of the Oscars was when people started cheering when De Niro mentioned Spicoli.

mickill

02-24-2009, 02:46 PM

My brother's room mate jumped from a seven story balcony and not only survived but fully recovered in just a few days.

Nuzzolese

02-24-2009, 03:00 PM

My brother's room mate jumped from a seven story balcony and not only survived but fully recovered in just a few days.

Was he a cat or Sean Penn?

mickill

02-24-2009, 03:15 PM

I honestly meant to say my brother's room mate's CAT. His room mate didn't jump. No. Sorry about that. The cat's name wasn't Sean Penn either. I think it's got one of those irritating "Mr." names like Mr. Whiskers or Mr. Purry or something similarly fruity.

Kid Presentable

02-24-2009, 05:39 PM

Oh, Mr McFluffington-Smythe.

russhie

02-24-2009, 06:11 PM

^ haha, I want to name my cat that. And force people to say the whole name when referring to him. None of this abbreviated Mr. Fluffy bullshit.

When I was younger, I wanted to have a cat and call it Ratsak.

AceFace

02-25-2009, 10:07 AM

we named our cats after The Young Ones. :)

taquitos

02-25-2009, 10:11 AM

shit in the tub

Lyman Zerga

02-25-2009, 10:12 AM

shit in the tub

yours too?

Nuzzolese

02-25-2009, 10:40 AM

I like when they talk

taquitos

02-25-2009, 11:52 AM

yours too?
my roomates. which means it's more annoying but also that i don't have to clean it up.

camo

02-25-2009, 12:03 PM

Fishy shits that smell unholy.

kll

02-25-2009, 12:30 PM

i revisited this thread just now and realized that all of the comments about cats (and not sean penn) all sound like 3rd graders writing an essay about their cats and the things they do. cute.

mickill

02-25-2009, 12:33 PM

Our cat is such a fag.

hpdrifter

02-25-2009, 12:46 PM

I do love cats and dogs but my favorites are bunnies. Things they do that are cute:

Wiggle their noses
Tilt their ears forward when they're curious
Sit back on their hind legs and wash their faces
Sometimes they pull their ears down/forward and clean them too
When they're really sleepy they flop over on their sides very suddenly and sort of snuggle themselves into the floor
When they're angry they flick their hind feet at you

hardnox71

02-25-2009, 12:49 PM

i revisited this thread just now and realized that all of the comments about cats (and not sean penn) all sound like 3rd graders writing an essay about their cats and the things they do. cute.

There is nothing cute about coming home from work every other day and finding cat piss on your side (and only your side) of the bed. Domino was my nemisis and I was his. My ex and I got rid of him. And then, eventually, she got rid of me. Go figure.

But at least I wasn't pissing in the bed. :D

Echewta

02-25-2009, 03:10 PM

Nothing worse than coming home and finding that Sean Penn pissed on the side of your bed and when you go to find him to put the pissing on the side of the bed to a stand still, he's out rollerskating on your mummified cats while listening to the soundtrack of The Wrestler with some 3rd grader.

Nuzzolese

02-25-2009, 03:12 PM

Mummy Kitties!

kll

02-25-2009, 06:29 PM

there's definitely a thick line between cat and dog people. the cat people are always identifiable.

why do cats have to poo in a litter box, but feel just fine peeing on the bed?

Dorothy Wood

02-26-2009, 01:42 AM

what if you are just the kind of person who likes all animals in different ways?

I like my cat because he is a weirdo and very cute. he's really clean and not very graceful. I don't really like dirty butt cats that sneak around and act all above it all. george can tell time, he wakes me up almost every morning at 8 a.m. (give or take a minute or two), and waits in the kitchen for me to get home from work. he gets really angry and starts meowing and pacing (my roommates tell me) if I'm not home by 7:45 p.m. when I get home, he runs to me meowing and purring.

the other cat that lives here is very pretty and entertaining, but I don't like her and she hates me.

I like dogs very very much, but they are a lot of work. I also love hamsters, mice, rats, gerbils, bunnies, ferrets, squirrels, skunks, bears, and lizards. I do not care for birds...but I will certainly look at them and appreciate their plumage from time to time.

do mummy cats chase mummy mice?

Echewta

02-26-2009, 01:53 AM

My cat doesn't go out at night because he has a tail attached already.

Dorothy Wood

02-26-2009, 02:52 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypMl2RFTC9Y&eurl=http://www.myspace.com/nahooha&feature=player_embedded

taquitos

02-26-2009, 02:56 AM

it says "nothing but a spoon" but that is clearly a spork

edit: at 1:35

hardnox71

02-26-2009, 12:13 PM

I'm more of a dog person. I think most guys are because we have so much in common. Dogs are dopey, goofy and stupid. So are we. Show a dog the slightest bit of attention and they go bananas. So do we. And so on....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypMl2RFTC9Y&eurl=http://www.myspace.com/nahooha&feature=player_embedded

This chick is absolutely nuts. I feel bad for her husband.