Why it's important to be thin

[Nuzzolese]

It's so ubiquitous, the weight-obsessed woman. It's a dull, overdone issue, right? Of course, every woman thinks she's fat and is never happy with her body and has low self esteem. So why talk about it? Why think about it? Why be a cliche?

Despite thinking all of the above, I admit I do care an inordinate amount about the amount of fat on my body, and where it is located. The fact that I care bothers me more than the fat itself. It's not fun to feel stressed about what I eat, but it's less fun to feel uncomfortable and unhappy with how I look. Why is it one or the other?

So many people I work with are overweight, which is encouragement enough for a reasonable goal of simply being healthy. But it’s more than just about being healthy! Being THIN says so much more, don’t you see? It proves something. Thin is young, strong, energy, light, purity, sophistication, artistry, and beauty. To be strong and light at the same time is to possess within your being that unique feminine combination of delicacy and grace allied with character, determination, and emotional strength.

Last Wednesday in the hospital I saw a petite young woman walking from the Subway sandwich shop with a bag containing a sandwich and a bag of chips. She was so cute, quiet, and unassuming in appearance and mannerisms. It struck me how innocent that was: just a nice lunch at lunchtime. Who could accuse her of anything? It occurred to me how harsh it would be of me to accuse myself of doing the same thing that she was doing, just eating lunch. I thought of the innocence of a mere sandwich or some snacking. I thought of how nice it is to be well-rounded in personality, and how silly it is to put pressure on myself just because no one else is. To live at peace like that in my mind at all times would be like being on vacation forever.

[b i o n i c]

throw away your television

[mickill]

Well, speaking from a non-female perspective, I've had pretty much the same diet for at least 4 years and have weighed the same throughout that time. I snack in moderation and indulge in at least some unhealthy foods fairly regularly. I exercise maybe 3 times a week. There's nothing grueling or difficult to keep up with. But I consider myself fit. You don't have to punish yourself or obsess to feel healthy and maintain a healthy appearance. I think that after a while you just get more in tune with how your body naturally looks, what level of cravings you're able to resist, and the amount of exercise you're able to regularly sustain. My wife and I both do it.

It sounds corny and obvious, but I don't think that anybody (especially guys) should go out of their way when it comes to their appearance. There's a certain charm to effortless beauty. When you're always tanned and toned and looking like you spent an hour getting dressed, it gives off that self-obsessed, unapproachable vibe. The only people that are really attracted to that are other narcissistic people. Not that any of this is groundbreaking news.

[Videodrome]

i find this thread inspiring.

on a side note, sometimes i would like to throw my television away but i just can't.

[jabumbo]

was this petite young woman coming out of the subway with 6 inches or a footlong? that really determines things here....


and as a side-bar: sheetz has footlong hoagies for 4 bucks, and they are better than subway. suck on that, jared!

hi mickill!

[mickill]

jabumbo's appearance, on the other hand, does necessitate some extra effort from time to time.

[Nuzzolese]

6-incher and baked lays

[Freebasser]

Blays!

[Nuzzolese]

I hate the idea that I would need to avoid popular culture just to be happy with myself. Wife Swap isn't making me feel fat. I think it all comes from me and what I want to believe about my identity.

[Freebasser]

Blidentity!

[Nuzzolese]

If I can manage to stay thin, then it's like I can avoid becoming the people I hate and find to be so weak and dull, who have allowed their lives to slide into such banality. But then again, caring about being thin is so BORING itself! It's so banal. I love how nice and easy life feels when I just don't care and I go ahead and eat ice cream.

[Freebasser]

Blice cream!

[AceFace]

freebasser is making me laugh. :)

[Nuzzolese]

did you pee a little?

[Freebasser]

Seriously, I could go for some blice cream right about now.

[Nuzzolese]

Freebasser is funny


When I started taking ballet it changed my perspective on the body, and what it means to be strong and flexible and beautiful. I didn't want to mention ballet at first, because it might seem pathetic that I'm a grown up and that I care about something that's usually associated with little girls or a tiny percent of the adult world who train incessantly to be in the kind of shape that is not necessary or even possible for most people who don't maintain that type of regime, which in the end is often destructive to the body. I don't expect to be as good as others at it, or even to look like them, but this new perspective is in my mind now.

[mickill]

blallet!

[jabumbo]

mmm, pop culture flavored ice cream. so fatty and delicious....



hey nuzz, do you still take that crazy brazilian stuff? i keep telling myself i should go to a class, but it sort of intimidates me, especially because the guy who runs the classes around here is apparently some worldwide champ or something serious

[Lyman Zerga]

now i dont really have a reason to keep my weight in check anymore..

[Nuzzolese]

mmm, pop culture flavored ice cream. so fatty and delicious....



hey nuzz, do you still take that crazy brazilian stuff? i keep telling myself i should go to a class, but it sort of intimidates me, especially because the guy who runs the classes around here is apparently some worldwide champ or something serious

Hell no I quit that! I got so sick of the annoying kids who did it, and how they always kept wanting to go camping and have "jam sessions" and play hackEy sack, and how they were all so awkward and anyway, we were playing in a cold dirty warehouse by then. I mean, I kind of had fun playing hacky sack but I wouldn't make a lifestyle out of it or anything. I realized that I really only liked it for the dance aspect of it, and getting to do cartwheels and hand stands. I hated when the other people touched me. I came out of it with slightly better balance, three pairs of white pants and a gourd instrument I still can't play. It is a good exercise, though.

[adam_f]

Sheetz is delicious

[NoFenders]

When you're 20, you worry about what people think about you.

When you're 40, you don't care what people think about you.

When you're 60, you realise nobody was really thinking about you anyway.

Do what ya do and like it. Otherwise change what ya do and like it. (y)

:cool:

[Nuzzolese]

I don't really care if other people think I'm thin or fat or whatever, it has more to do with my own opinion of how I look.

[adam_f]

If you were my neighbor I would probably try to bang you.

[NoFenders]

But it usually derives from an attitude or perception of others. As the comment about throwing away your tv went. Some people don't like to be thin. Some people don't like to be fat. Just be what you want to be. The girl who looked so innocent becasue of her lunch could have just spent three days on a cocaine binge and had unprotected sex with multiple partners. It's all what you decide to see. Like just about everything else in this world.

:cool:

[jabumbo]

If you were my neighbor I would probably try to bang you.


ditto (y)

[Nuzzolese]

But it usually derives from an attitude or perception of others. As the comment about throwing away your tv went. Some people don't like to be thin. Some people don't like to be fat. Just be what you want to be. The girl who looked so innocent becasue of her lunch could have just spent three days on a cocaine binge and had unprotected sex with multiple partners. It's all what you decide to see. Like just about everything else in this world.

:cool:
That lying bitch!

Well, even if she was the druggie slut you claim she is, you still can't blame her for the lunch. That part was blameless. And blameless fits with the freebasser game.

[Nuzzolese]

I went home and ate a sandwich, by the way. It wasn't from Subway but still I think it's progress.

[na§tee]

i want to eat cake with airesse and nuzz.

[funk63]

Because of this thread I threw up the four girl scout cookies I ate.

[NoFenders]

That lying bitch!

Well, even if she was the druggie slut you claim she is, you still can't blame her for the lunch.

lol

No, she eats a decent lunch. There's plenty to be said for that. (y)

:)

[Nuzzolese]

They're selling GS cookies where you live? I knew it was about time those cookies came around again! I haven't seen them anywhere yet. What kind were they? Tagalongs?

[NoFenders]

Mine just came in yesterday!!

I always get coconut whatever.

[beastiegirrl101]

I ate a whole row of thin mints last night...after a huge bowl of mac n cheese, then finished book 3 of the Twilight series, then passed out.

Lovely evening.

[NoFenders]

At least you had fresh breath. ;)

[beastiegirrl101]

At least you had fresh breath. ;)

and a fat ass.

[TurdBerglar]

did somebody say fat ass?

[Videodrome]

Because of this thread I threw up the four girl scout cookies I ate.

i lol'd for real at this.

[russhie]

I think Mickill said something about effortless beauty, and it's that sort of look that I chase. The effortlessness of the end result does take quite a bit of work, though. I work out alot, I'm careful about food (however not to the point of obsession) and the clothes I wear, I get some sun when I can and get regular facials, waxing, nail work, etc. I don't want to look like some overdone bimbette, but effortless glamour, that relaxed kind of beauty, still takes a hell of a lot of work (and money).

I'm ashamed to admit that I put in this sort of work mostly to impress others - it's important to me, too, to be healthy and good looking and stuff, but not quite as important as being percieved as having a particular lifestyle or personal traits by others, even people I don't know. Even if I don't possess those traits or that lifestyle. It's just about image.

I don't believe that anyone would truly accept and love me if I was anything less than perfect, and I don't think I ever will either. So, my chase continues.

[Pres Zount]

I think the point is that the act of no effort is beautiful. That it's not all about image.

It might also be that there is beautiful, and there is naturaly beautiful.

[Audio.]

thin is gay. i hate being thin.

[russhie]

I think though, that effortless/natural beauty is a total myth - some people have a natural tendancy toward looking effortlessly beautiful but at the same time, the girls that turn heads for that reason still take the time to craft that sort of image, wether it be a five minute hairspray/lipgloss job or a 45 minute wrestle with the hairdryer ordeal.

The closest I can think of to natural beauty is when I wake up beside a boy and he turns to me and says I look gorgeous - unkempt hair, no makeup and smiling at the thought of breakfast. Or when I've spend the day at the beach and my hair is all salt and wind tousled, my skin is brown and soft from the coconut oil and again, I'm sans makeup. Or something. Not so much when I'm hungover in trackies and a Jager tee, down the shoppo with hair pulled in a loose bun.

If you can look beautiful, great, if you can make it look effortlessly so, brilliant. But really...if it looks so damn effortless, then how would you know the amount of work put in to achieve the end result?

I think I may be missing the point here totally. Because of my own stupid ideals of beauty. ehhh

[checkyourprez]

i havent read 1 thing in here except the title of the thread.

and the answer is two fold.

1. it for all intensive purposes means you are a healthy person.

2. it no doubt about it makes you a more attractive person, which increases your confidence. which can have a number of positive effects on a person from better mental health, to better job opportunities, to better/more action with the opposite sex (or the same if that is what you are into).

[Pres Zount]

I think though, that effortless/natural beauty is a total myth

I think you are totally wrong. You've never seen a man look good without makeup? Why does it have to be different for women?

Anyway, this thread is about FAT, and I think the same goes for weight. To a degree. It's important to be healthy, but it's attractive when you don't obsess.

[checkyourprez]

I think you are totally wrong. You've never seen a man look good without makeup? Why does it have to be different for women?

Anyway, this thread is about FAT, and I think the same goes for weight. To a degree. It's important to be healthy, but it's attractive when you don't obsess.

i agree with this. you dont come across them often in everyday life but there are the uber 10's out there that can at all times just look amazing.

but like i said they are a phenomena that are very atypical.

[russhie]

I think you are totally wrong. You've never seen a man look good without makeup? Why does it have to be different for women?

Anyway, this thread is about FAT, and I think the same goes for weight. To a degree. It's important to be healthy, but it's attractive when you don't obsess.

Men, in the past, haven't had the same sort of pressures placed upon the way they look, which is why it's entirely possible for a man to look good without makeup - he's not supposed to be seen wearing it. It's almost a rite of passage for a young girl to learn how to correctly apply and wear makeup, blame society, I don't know, but it's not a great comparison to make.

Fat, on the other hand, is equally unattractive on members of either sex, so that is a better comparison to make. All I'm saying is, I don't buy into the idea that beauty can be entirely effortless - yes, some girls are naturally more attractive than others but think of all the hard-faced skinny girls and wouldn't-she-be-more-attractive-if-she-lost-ten-kilos types you've ever seen. Both would benefit from working out and eating right, but that in itself requires effort and that is why there are so many overweight, unhealthy and unattractive people wandering around.

I totally agree that a natural look trumps a more contrived slaving-over-the-straightener look any day, but looking so effortlessly good actually takes quite a bit of effort.

[Yetra Flam]

nuzz, did you mean "why it's important for women to be thin"?

[funk63]

They're selling GS cookies where you live? I knew it was about time those cookies came around again! I haven't seen them anywhere yet. What kind were they? Tagalongs?

The kind with the coconut filling.

Mine just came in yesterday!!

I always get coconut whatever.

aw shit yeah.

[mickill]

My comments on effortless beauty were more in reference to not looking like you devote 12 hours a day in order to maintain your physical appearance. Zount makes a good point about how men rarely require anywhere near the amount of grooming effort that women tend to demand from themselves. But yeah, I understand what russhie means; not a lot of people require absolutely zero effort.

I'm sure I'm going to regret mentioning any of this, but the other day, I came to the honest realization that my wife looked surprisingly beautiful as she was laying in bed, just waking up. It was her turn to sleep in, so I had already been up for a couple of hours doing the whole Saturday morning cleaning routine. So maybe it was the three cups of coffee talking, but I told her. And despite the fact that it made her smile or whatever, I don't think she really understood how I meant it. I tend to take it for granted sometimes, I guess. Mind you, she does have some pretty flawless skin, a bit of a natural tan going, dark lashes and great bone structure in her face. I sometimes have to ask her if she's wearing makeup or not. It seems effortless, though. But she does tweeze, use facial products etc. I guess the point is, she doesn't starve herself, neglect our kids or spend a lot of money in order to keep it up. So I can appreciate that.

Her sister, on the other hand spends two hours at the gym everyday, goes on monthly fasts/cleanses, tans 4 times a week and adds literally countless pictures of herself in various poses to her Facebook profile seemingly by the hour. And in all honesty, coupled with the fact that she's a neglectful mother, a semi-disloyal spouse and is relatively void of intelligence, I find her grotesque. She just gives off an ugly vibe. Yet, she can be quite beautiful. She just chooses to look like a mannequin and behave like a GIANT WHORE instead.

[Pres Zount]

Eye of the beholder, I suppose.

I can find all sorts attractive, and I see plenty of attractive people who put in little or no effort for their appearance. Not to be confused with the effort put in to look effortless effort.

I would prefer people to be fat than worry constantly about being fat and aren't.

[mickill]

I totally agree that a natural look trumps a more contrived slaving-over-the-straightener look any day, but looking so effortlessly good actually takes quite a bit of effort.

Oh, I forgot all about how aggravating it can be waiting for the wife to straighten her hair, should she choose to do so. I'm like what are you doing one hair at a time? Sheeeeit.

[Dorothy Wood]

I have a magical effortless ability to look foxy sometimes, and I really don't know how to harness it or replicate it. sometimes after a night of drinking and hard sleep, I wake up looking good. we're talking unwashed hair, smudgey eye makeup, squinty eyes, etc. I don't know if it's the extra plumpness and redness of my cells trying to recover from being soaked in alcohol or what. but my ex used to absolutely want to devour me when that happened. he'd be like, "I don't understand how you can look so damn gorgeous when the rest of us are walking around like the living dead".

I guess I should just become an alcoholic. or not, I got drunk a lunk last night, mostly by mistake (who knew that drinking a glass of whiskey got you so drunk? I said whiskey soda, not whiskey sour. oh well, down the hatch.) and I feel and look like a piece of poo today. maybe my shower ruined the magic.


as for effortless thinness, I think that's quite rare. I'll never be a waif, so I don't try. I just want to be healthy and agile.

[mickill]

Yeah, sometimes when I haven't shaved in a week or even remotely touched my hair and I'm wearing my "gotta do some shit around the house" clothes, I'll come across a mirror and be like, "why do I even bother grooming?" Maybe it's just the relatively warm lighting in our house.

[russhie]

I'm sure I'm going to regret mentioning any of this, but the other day, I came to the honest realization that my wife looked surprisingly beautiful as she was laying in bed, just waking up. It was her turn to sleep in, so I had already been up for a couple of hours doing the whole Saturday morning cleaning routine. So maybe it was the three cups of coffee talking, but I told her. And despite the fact that it made her smile or whatever, I don't think she really understood how I meant it. I tend to take it for granted sometimes, I guess. Mind you, she does have some pretty flawless skin, a bit of a natural tan going, dark lashes and great bone structure in her face. I sometimes have to ask her if she's wearing makeup or not. It seems effortless, though. But she does tweeze, use facial products etc. I guess the point is, she doesn't starve herself, neglect our kids or spend a lot of money in order to keep it up. So I can appreciate that.



That's what I mean, there. I've been told I look gorgeous just waking up, at a time when you're least self aware and prepared, I guess. I think that comes from the fact I do try and look after myself with diet, exercise and other junk like waxing and getting facials regularly. Oh, and that I'm a nice person too - what you said about not so nice people giving off ugly vibes is pretty bang on. But I don't really harp on about it to my friends, we'll talk about that type of stuff for sure, but if we miss yoga to go to a bar we aren't going to cry about it later and exist purely on carrot sticks for a week. The amount of effort I put into my appearance might seem obsessive to someone who doesn't see the point in it, but I think it's fairly healthy. Oh and the straightener thing - it takes my housemate an hour or so to straighten her hair. Thick and really curly hair is a bitch to do, so yeah, it can be a real effort.

Also, that's a really beautiful thing to say about your wife - I hope I end up with someone who can appreciate my efforts and find me gorgeous even when I'm not trying.

[Yetra Flam]

I think Mickill said something about effortless beauty, and it's that sort of look that I chase. The effortlessness of the end result does take quite a bit of work, though. I work out alot, I'm careful about food (however not to the point of obsession) and the clothes I wear, I get some sun when I can and get regular facials, waxing, nail work, etc. I don't want to look like some overdone bimbette, but effortless glamour, that relaxed kind of beauty, still takes a hell of a lot of work (and money).

I'm ashamed to admit that I put in this sort of work mostly to impress others - it's important to me, too, to be healthy and good looking and stuff, but not quite as important as being percieved as having a particular lifestyle or personal traits by others, even people I don't know. Even if I don't possess those traits or that lifestyle. It's just about image.

I don't believe that anyone would truly accept and love me if I was anything less than perfect, and I don't think I ever will either. So, my chase continues.

I do understand where you're coming from with this, and I admit that I often feel the same way. (even though I obviously dont do anything about it!) However, being so caught up in being perceived as perfect, to me, seems unfulfilling and unsatisfying. I see you post about about this often though, and it seems like something that really occupies your mind. I just really don't see how it can truly make you happy. I am almost certain that you don't have anything to worry about regarding the way you look, I am also willing to bet that you're probably even more attractive than average.

[russhie]

The pursuit of perfection isn't restricted to the way I look, I've always been the kind of person that wants to be smarter and funnier and give better blowjobs than the next girl. The way I look is just a smallish part of that. I don't talk about it anywhere near as frequently as I post about it here, in normal life (there are maybe one or two people in the world who'll let me indulge in such stupid conversations). I readily admit that it causes me grief more often than it generates happiness, but I'm still working out ways of accepting my flaws, physical and otherwise. I think it's something that'll come with age, and wisdom and all that (here's hoping).

To be honest, alot of the stuff here doesn't interest me, but these sorts of threads do, because I used to have much more serious issues with the way I looked. I've worked a fair bit of that out now, and that's pretty much why I post alot about weight and looks and shit like that - stuff I can relate to. Also, stuff to do with women and how other people make them feel about their bodies and appearance I just find plain interesting, from a sociological point of view. Maybe I'm weird like that?

I've been burning my housemate's CD's all day so have been pretty active in this thread, I admit.

[ET]

I think with age comes the realization that all of this worrying about your body is needless because most people you meet don't give a shit how you look. Maybe unless you're morbidly obese or something but that's not very common. I don't like when my chubb peeks out because it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable in public. And if I'm not comfortable I'm not going to be my usual kick ass self.

About personality; Upon experiencing the verbal diarrhea coming out of their mouths, it can turn someone from shynola to shit in a millisecond, IMO. On the other hand I don't know how cool I'd be with the fact of Ms. Future Kickass Lifepartner not taking care of herself even though she's got it all mentally. I at least try to stay healthy and I don't mind putting forth the effort... I think it shows I care.

Protip: Better blowjobs come with practice, so I've heard. Get crackin',

[mickill]

If you're comfortable with the amount of effort it requires to look the way that you want to look, that's great. I just think that when someone gives forth the impression that it's ALL they do with their lives, it's sort of unattractive.

I forget where I heard it or read it (on probably more than one occasion, anyway), but I recall someone talking about how you shouldn't try to compete with fitness or glamor models, or certain celebrities since it's essentially their job (as in, what they're PAID to do) to look that way and devote endless hours to achieving it. Which is probably the best way to look at it. It's not realistic for someone who hasn't been blessed with perfect genetics, who has a full-time job and/or isn't serving time in prison to be able to find the time to make that same kind of effort and see similar results.

Also, (on yet another unrelated note) I was at the doctor's office the other day and saw this Botox pamphlet and started flipping through it. And there were all these before and after pictures of women, mostly in their early forties to mid fifties. All I kept thinking was that every single one of them looked better in their before pictures. I know that this isn't exactly a startling revelation or anything, but I was actually surprised that I really did feel that way.

The problem is people don't know where to draw the line. Like guys shaping their eyebrows or Asian girls with crystal blue contact lenses; it's all acceptable, but really, it's like the differences between accessorizing with a pair of designer sunglasses to enhance your already luring yet tasteful ensemble, or rocking the full on purple Gucci velour track suit with the five inches of visible cleavage, the rhinestone headband and the toy poodle popping it's head out of your Louis V handbag. Just how much attention are you trying to draw to yourself?

[ET]

I agree and I think that a level of exclusion, in terms of exerting just as much effort, seals the deal right there.

Aslo, not only are these folks getting paid to stay in shape, someone's paying other people to help them. Like personal chefs, trainers etc. It ain't cheap. And neither is botox. Bee-stung to trout-pout never looks good on anyone. (http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/nikki_cox_yummy_boobs.jpg) Poor Nikki Cox.

[mickill]

Less is more, my friend.

Unless we're talking boobs here. Of the non-augmented ilk, to be specific.

[BBboy20]

I have a magical effortless ability to look foxy sometimes, and I really don't know how to harness it or replicate it. sometimes after a night of drinking and hard sleep, I wake up looking good.You're describing my hair that sometimes just magically combs itself after I wake up...it's always been rather weird like that in the past year.

and give better blowjobs than the next girl. ... err, what ET advised...*^_^;*

Why it's important to be thin...I was always given the impression that why we, referring to American males on this site though hopefully not directly at those individuals, have such unrealistic expectations of wanting to be as fit as a model in a Boflex advertisement is more primarily because we want to attract and feel like Space Mountain for the ladies and that does generally seem to be the case for those being single/inspired adulterer with the lack of cash yet unable to get any. Maybe we'd be worried about how the opposite would feel when we reveal ourselves, bodily, when we were able to look convincingly "fit" earlier. I don't know if we, now referring to both sexes if you so happen to fit with what I mentioned, should feel guilty for sacrificing a bit or plenty of our own dignity for living/wanting to be in vanity?
As for what mickill described earlier, their not even worth mentioning if they want to flaunt their egos through cash; only the absolute jealous and other rich douchbags are going to give a damn.


Dude, I'm just watching a CSI:NY episode that seems to involve a museum of artistic pictures of "perfect" sexual bodies (primarily focusing on body image). O_o

[Nuzzolese]

Just how much attention are you trying to draw to yourself?

Just enough to inspire a roomful of people to beg me, through their tears, to eat something just a little something! I like what you said about the models and actors, how it's their job to look good. Think how much better the average person would look if they had personal trainers and chefs and makeup artists; and conversely, when an actress is playing a role as the less-attractive character, usually she would be percieved more forgivingly if you saw her next to you at the post office. She's just MOVIE fumpy.

[Nuzzolese]

The pursuit of perfection isn't restricted to the way I look, I've always been the kind of person that wants to be smarter and funnier and give better blowjobs than the next girl. The way I look is just a smallish part of that. I don't talk about it anywhere near as frequently as I post about it here, in normal life (there are maybe one or two people in the world who'll let me indulge in such stupid conversations). I readily admit that it causes me grief more often than it generates happiness, but I'm still working out ways of accepting my flaws, physical and otherwise. I think it's something that'll come with age, and wisdom and all that (here's hoping).

To be honest, alot of the stuff here doesn't interest me, but these sorts of threads do, because I used to have much more serious issues with the way I looked. I've worked a fair bit of that out now, and that's pretty much why I post alot about weight and looks and shit like that - stuff I can relate to. Also, stuff to do with women and how other people make them feel about their bodies and appearance I just find plain interesting, from a sociological point of view. Maybe I'm weird like that?

I've been burning my housemate's CD's all day so have been pretty active in this thread, I admit.

Do you spend a lot of money on clothes? Is there something satisfying in all the grooming and effort, or is it all a big chore? I think you're fascinating. Who are you? Where did you come from? How old are you? I so want to ask about your mother, but it sounds like such a typical psychoanalysis question. Seriously, though, what was your mother like? Was she a control freak? Was she intimidating?

My mother is tall with kind of a deep voice. She spends too much money on STUFF and I think her priorities are way out of whack. She seems to care too much about how she and her house looks, but at the same time she doesn't seem to like most people, or care about them. I think she wants to impress and intimidate people and I think she wants to surround herself with nice THINGS that make her feel better than other people. She's never been in good shape, though, even when she was younger. She never exercised much other than going for walks. She never encouraged us as kids to be active, but then we were all kind of naturally active as children and she didn't discourage it either. My dad, on the other hand, would always suggest going for a run as a cure-all. A few weeks ago I had the flu and he was like "go for a run!" Anyway, my mom was always especially cruel about anyone known for their good looks. She's very sarcastic and critical and loves making fun of people on TV. Sometimes that's fun, you know, she can be witty. But sometimes it just seems bitter.

[Lyman Zerga]

The pursuit of perfection isn't restricted to the way I look, I've always been the kind of person that wants to be smarter and funnier and give better blowjobs than the next girl.

tmi.

[monkey]

nuzz, you are obviously an intelligent girl, young, and quite capable. i dont understand why thinness and a job you hate (or so it sounds like from your threads) are the things that seem to worry you the most. why not go to graduate school? why not place yourself in situations where your intellect is challenged? perhaps such things would ultimately fulfill you more than the pursuit of thinness.

as i've gotten older, i find that bigger life goals, like graduate school and the understanding of nature, spirituality, and myself to be more fulfilling than worrying about my ass size. not to say i don't worry about my ass, it's just taken a back seat (haha) to these other things. and it's not like it's an easy endeavor, i spent my early 20's dealing with eating disorders. i'm not sure at what point i changed from "i need to be thin" to "i need to be healthy", but it's happened, and i'm so much happier for it.

self indulgent ps: in the past year or two, since becoming less hyper aware of my fat ass, i've been more keen on showing it off. i never showed off cleavage in the past, now i just can't help it. i'm not skinny, but fuck it, im hot. i got a nice ass and big tits and a small waist. this is the only chance i get to show it off cause in 10-15 years, i'll look trashy wearing low cut shirts or short skirts.

[Schmeltz]

The pursuit of perfection isn't restricted to the way I look, I've always been the kind of person that wants to be smarter and funnier and give better blowjobs than the next girl.

Yeah, yeah. Right. You know, they all say that until they know what your favourite movie is, then it's out come the crazy pills and "Hey let's do Thanksgiving at my parents' place this year and your parents' place next year."

Seriously though, in my very limited experience with the fairer sex it's always seemed to me that when a girl has her mind and self in the right place the other things basically follow naturally. Lots of girls are nice to look at, but far fewer are worth talking to as well, and the combination of the two is what's really alluring. I've often found myself entirely disinterested in an attractive girl within two phrases of her speaking, and suddenly interested in (someone I would have called) an average-looking girl who turned out to have something interesting to share.

[mickill]

There's probably never been a better time for women to be more on the "plump" side. It's been encouraged (and glamorized) in a lot of media over the last decade or so. Albeit, in sort of the "fit" proportions that monkey mentioned in her post. Whether it's just influence derived from music videos (or porn), I think that more guys overall are beginning to prefer thick over thin.

[adam_f]

WAIT...blowjobs

[hpdrifter]

I feel better when I'm thinner. I obsess about my weight and think about what I'm going to eat every day. Its not an ideal way to live. I am just a normal girl, I don't spend an inordinate amount of time on my appearance, I don't have any natural proclivity for dressing well or fixing my hair or doing my makeup. I don't tan or wear Gucci or carry a toy poodle.

[Nuzzolese]

monkey, I'm not that intelligent or capable, actually. And my interest in things doesn't run very deeply. I don't think I could do graduate school, and even if I did, where would I be? When did I complain about my job?


I don't care if the rest of the world likes thick, I like thin - with muscle. It makes me feel classy and it's what I look like, or would look like, when I live a healthy lifestyle and when I feel good inside. If I gain weight it's usually the final symptom of my unhealthy life, after a few days of knowing I've been sedentary and eating badly and feeling lethargic. Perhaps thinness has only become important to me because I correlate it with feeling good. I'm not THAT thin, though. I'm no Ally McBeal, no Audrey, no Mary Tyler Moore.

[Lyman Zerga]

in my opinion women are supposed to be all soft and curvy

kids are skinny

[NoFenders]

and a fat ass.

It's a GS cookie fat ass though. So it's all good.(y)

[Nuzzolese]

in my opinion women are supposed to be all soft and curvy

kids are skinny

Stop making me feel bad about myself and trying to force me to conform to your ideals!

[NoFenders]

He has a good point though.

Meat don't shake on a skinny minny.

[Lyman Zerga]

Stop making me feel bad about myself and trying to force me to conform to your ideals!

well i like me something to grab

some day we all turn into skeletons anyways so no pressure

[Echewta]

some day we all turn into skeletons anyways so no pressure

An excellent point!

I shall take the midnight train going anywhere.

[Nuzzolese]

That sounds unhealthy, Crafty, I don't think you should eat that way. I work with medical professionals, and one nurse was saying how we're all going to die someday anyway so we might as well enjoy life and she's a big promoter of that quote about how we're supposed to slide into death sideways with chocolate in one hand and our bodies used up and yelling "woohoo what a ride" and I really hate that quote, just summing it up there was uncomfortable for me. Anyway, the other nurse was like "Well, the thing is you have to decide how long you want to live and how you want to die" Which struck me. That's stayed with me for some time now.

[checkyourprez]

life can be punishing enough sometimes. and when it does punish you, the last thing you should do is punish yourself for putting on a few pounds.

i think people who obsess about their weight all the time and about food all the time are nuts. when i worked in topshop i was more conscious of my weight because 99.9% of the people who worked there were slim.

if being slim is important to you then so be it, but it is really annoying when people need constant reassurance. i know because i used to be like that myself. if your weight is the cause of your low self esteem then i think it can be very off putting. if your BMI is within the normal range then you ought to just relax. if people like you, then it wouldn't matter them if you don't have a body like kate moss.

my mother was a real bitch, she would always make me and my sisters feel bad about our weights. we are all normal sized, but she was skinnier than us, so she would call us fat. and when i lost weight, she was complaining that i'm too skinny. we could never win, she would use our weight against us no matter what size we were.

i accept the way i look now because i don't do anything in way of excercise or diet. i never watch what i eat. if i want to eat 6 packets of crisps in a row and then 3 donuts for desert then i would eat it, without feeling any guilt. i know i could look better if i exercised but i really don't have the motivation.

if people don't like the way i look then that's their problem not mine. i mean just because someone is skinny, that doesn't automatically make them attractive.

it surely doesnt hurt.


i like being fit because im a narcissist to some extent. i wont lie. when im looking fit and tan (natural, not the fake and bake bs) and toned, idk i just like it.

it also helps that chicks like it, at least the ones im trying to bang anyways.


but i really dont do it for the benefit of other people. i dont long for attention
of others. but i definatly feel better about myself when i look better. i do place a heavy weight on looks, but i dont necessarily judge people on it. i respect people live their own lives and i dont really care what they do. but for me, being fit (thin/good shape) is just something i value. where another person may value something else.

[checkyourprez]

true but the opposite of that i think is...example...on break at work ill have like an apple or orange or something while some of my coworkers eat something unhealthy like chips or whatever and they give me flack for eating healthy.

like it annoys someone else because i am eating healthy. when i think in reality it makes them think of what they are eating, and they know its not healthy but they just dont have the willpower to not eat it. so instead of doing the hard thing, putting down the chips and picking up the apple, they try to dole out some verbal jabs to make themselves feel better and take their mind off of their poor habits.

[checkyourprez]

my dad eats like a machine. he sees food as fuel. taste is unimportant to him as long as its good for him. i def admire that about him because its fucking hard to maintain a real healthy diet. ill be the first to admit most people dont eat healthy because there are things out there that just taste far better. unfortunatly most of those real good tasting foods are not good for you. its a tough battle, but i think most of it is mental. once you get it into your head your eating this apple not just for you current snack but for years down the road when you act and feel much better than you would have had you been eating a twinky for those snacks, you realize why being thin (i use the word thin as an alternative for healthy basically) is a good thing.

[Burnout18]

i used to be skinny, then i got jacked was in great shape, then i stopped working out and got fat, and now i lost enough weight to almost be skinny again. One problem is i still have a fat face and a double chin.... im thin with a double chin. wtf.