Secret Skip Days

[Nuzzolese]

This Friday I'm thinking about taking a secret skip day. I've done these from time to time. It's a totally selfish vacation day from work, where I don't tell anyone I know that I'm taking the day off. I usually go to a ballet class, go shopping, or sometimes I just sit and read somewhere for a while.

These feel great, but then I feel so guilty about lying to my boyfriend. If he knew I was taking the day off then I wouldn't really have the day off. I'd have to give him rides places and hang out with him - which I normally like doing, but the whole point of the secret skip day is that I don't have to do anything. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave me alone when there's nothing wrong. It in fact has nothing to do with him, I just want to be alone sometimes, and free. And isn't it awful that he wants to be with me and I would rather be alone sometimes?

I've done these before and each time I tell myself I shouldn't do it again. After the secret skip day I have nightmares in which I've cheated on him and lied to him.

[Nuzzolese]

It has to be kept a secret though. I do feel guilty for wanting to have time alone. Thank god I don't have kids, I'd probably hate them.

[jabumbo]

i do stuff like this sometimes. i dont necessarily take a day off work, but i just spend the day wandering about and enjoying myself. i leave my phone off all day, and stay away from everyone i talk to.


its a great feeling sometimes, i wouldnt sweat it

[Nuzzolese]

It's a nice day to indulge in one's hobbies undisturbed. My hobbies usually stress me out and make me cranky so it's good to be alone when I do them.

[adam_f]

My main hobby is masturbating, so I like to go to the park.

[Waus]

I'm blessed to have the job I do.

Most work days feel like secret skip days. I work by the project, not necessarily by the hour.

[beastiegirrl101]

Does your BF not understand Nuzzo time?

[Nuzzolese]

He's never wanted time to himself unless it was because he was working on something. Me, I have no good reason to be alone.

[Nuzzolese]

Then again, what if he's taking secret skip days too! And neither of us is telling one another, like the gift of the magi.

[mickill]

You should confront him sooner than later if you suspect that he's up to the same thing as you before this gets all out of hand and turns into Mr & Mrs Smith. Only, without the weaponry.

[Nuzzolese]

ha! just the bad dialogue

[Freebasser]

My main hobby is masturbating, so I like to go to the park.

Ahahaha :D

If I skipped a day at work I'd get my balls busted. Much like Adam :S

[Videodrome]

These feel great, but then I feel so guilty about lying to my boyfriend. If he knew I was taking the day off then I wouldn't really have the day off. I'd have to give him rides places and hang out with him - which I normally like doing, but the whole point of the secret skip day is that I don't have to do anything. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave me alone when there's nothing wrong. It in fact has nothing to do with him, I just want to be alone sometimes, and free. And isn't it awful that he wants to be with me and I would rather be alone sometimes?

my secret skip day is an exact opposite of your situation. for instance, if i request a pto (paid time off) day from work and my girlfriend knows about it, she'll request the exact same day off so we can spend time or whatnot. thing is, i live with her and see her practically every second i'm not at work. sometimes i just want to chill and do my thing alone. i've tried to explain this to her but i never seem to get anywhere. so i actually wake up early, dress for, and fake as if i'm going into work. i drive her to work, drop her off, and then turn around and go home. i wear my work clothes all day and then pick her up when she gets off as if i had been at work the entire day also.

so after typing all that out and comparing our situations i've just came to the conclusion that i live a complete lie.

[Videodrome]

sometimes i live a complete lie :o

[Nuzzolese]

my secret skip day is an exact opposite of your situation. for instance, if i request a pto (paid time off) day from work and my girlfriend knows about it, she'll request the exact same day off so we can spend time or whatnot. thing is, i live with her and see her practically every second i'm not at work. sometimes i just want to chill and do my thing alone. i've tried to explain this to her but i never seem to get anywhere. so i actually wake up early, dress for, and fake as if i'm going into work. i drive her to work, drop her off, and then turn around and go home. i wear my work clothes all day and then pick her up when she gets off as if i had been at work the entire day also.

so after typing all that out and comparing our situations i've just came to the conclusion that i live a complete lie.

That is exactly what I would do. Only I wouldn't wear my work clothes all day. What I do on these days is I leave the house in my work clothes, bringing a change of clothes with me. I go to dance, I go to my parents' house where I shower and change, then I spend the rest of the day doing whatever, before I change back into my work clothes and come home, or pick him up. My fear is that one day he'll call me and ask me to look something up on the computer or print something off for him. I'll have to really lie outright then, on the spot. And I'm terrible at lying.

[paul jones]

don't be guilty lying to your boyfriend.My ex lied to me all the fucking time.Us testicle carriers are quite used to it(y):)

[Nuzzolese]

I don't like lying to him.

[Videodrome]

That is exactly what I would do. Only I wouldn't wear my work clothes all day. What I do on these days is I leave the house in my work clothes, bringing a change of clothes with me. I go to dance, I go to my parents' house where I shower and change, then I spend the rest of the day doing whatever, before I change back into my work clothes and come home, or pick him up. My fear is that one day he'll call me and ask me to look something up on the computer or print something off for him. I'll have to really lie outright then, on the spot. And I'm terrible at lying.

i always get asked about how my day was. i keep my replies down to simple one worded answers. i'll probably get caught someday and get accused of cheating, which i'm not. it's dumb.

[russhie]

If my ex or I took time off work, we'd never just assume that one wanted the other person around. Aside from the fact he never even took days off work, he never cared or invited himself along when I had a day off.

I think it's slightly weird that people assume they can make these sorts of demands on your time...you're a couple, not siamese twins, right?

EDIT: Also, if I found out my partner had been doing these secret "I've got a day off shhhhh don't tell anyone" shenanigans, I'd be forced to question why they lied, the elaborate nature of the coverup, and what else they're lying about.

[mickill]

My woman and I are attached at the hip like two pistols, usually.

[paul jones]

I don't like lying to him.

I'm saying you have to,of course.(y):)

[Nuzzolese]

i always get asked about how my day was. i keep my replies down to simple one worded answers. i'll probably get caught someday and get accused of cheating, which i'm not. it's dumb.

This is blowing my mind that you are just like me. I took a couple of these days a few months ago, but that was After Thanksgiving and before Christmas so technically I could have said I was doing secret Christmas shopping, even though I spent an hour at the mall and the rest of the day doing my own thing.


russhie - I could understand why you'd assume the worst in a case of secret lies and calculated deception.

The thing is, we're a couple and couples are supposed to be there for each other to help each other out. If I have the whole day off, it's pretty selfish of me not to take fifteen minutes to give him a ride or to have lunch with him. I know this, but even having those time constraints means I have to be somewhere at a certain time and then my day is not my own.

I'm really thinking about quitting the secret skip day habbit. It's just bad on principle. A good partner would try to communicate what she wants, not show such disrespect as to assume her boyfriend wouldn't understand.

[Videodrome]

I know this, but even having those time constraints means I have to be somewhere at a certain time and then my day is not my own.
EXACTLY! my gf doesn't drive and has never drove. i take her everywhere. i never have my own day which is why i go to such extremes just to have sometime to myself.

I'm really thinking about quitting the secret skip day habbit. It's just bad on principle. A good partner would try to communicate what she wants, not show such disrespect as to assume her boyfriend wouldn't understand.
I completely agree. I'm just going to end my relationship. I realized this yesterday as I thought about this thread. My gf just doesn't understand; three years of explaining myself is enough.

[taquitos]

kill him by the dick

[mickill]

I completely agree. I'm just going to end my relationship. I realized this yesterday as I thought about this thread. My gf just doesn't understand; three years of explaining myself is enough.
NOW LOOK WHAT YOUR THREAD HAS DONE.

[Nuzzolese]

EXACTLY! my gf doesn't drive and has never drove. i take her everywhere. i never have my own day which is why i go to such extremes just to have sometime to myself.


I completely agree. I'm just going to end my relationship. I realized this yesterday as I thought about this thread. My gf just doesn't understand; three years of explaining myself is enough.

Are you for seriousing me here? When it's time to move on, it's time to move on. Have you really tried to explain yourself, though? I mean, if you end it don't just tell her she goesn't understand you, you need concrete examples. Maybe if she knew how important your alone time is to you, she'd consent to letting you have it. If it's that or ending the relationship, she might reconsider.

My bf sometimes will give me a hard time about being a lazy slacker.

[mickill]

I think it's too late to talk any sense into him. YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME.

[Nuzzolese]

oops, I did it again

[Fern]

Fuck it, i'm taking one tomorrow too.

[camo]

me too, and monday - long weekend that is well deserved (y)

[Nuzzolese]

Videodrome, how long have you two been dating?

[Videodrome]

Videodrome, how long have you two been dating?

3 years. it has been over for quite some time though. i am telling her tonight and i expect her things to be cleared out by sunday night. my train of thought has been somewhat influenced by what i've read recently in other threads along with this thread. i have listened to advice aimed at others and simply applied it to my own situation. i've been coming to this message board for like 8 years or so and while i rarely post, i do read.

[Nuzzolese]

Out by Sunday? That's pretty harsh. Are you sure she has somewhere to go? You might want to beat her up a little so she can at least get into a battered women's shelter. I think they check for bruises at the door the way bars check I.D. I'm glad you've come to a realization, does it feel liberating already? Do you have any plans for your new single life? Let us know how it turns out.

[b i o n i c]

the origins of secret skip days go back to skipping school.

back in the day about 20 kids who used to all take the train together from the suburbs to high school in the bronx used to purposely get in the last car which did not open at our stop and skip on through to manhattan. we would literally be a gang of kids wearing ties and blazers and back-packs roaming around midtown, being dizzy and wide-eyed all over the place.

usually we would call the school and say that the train went express and we would be late. pre/early giuliani days, as everyone knows, it was pretty rough around the city, and times square was still xxx capital of the world. our dean would just be scared that we were around there and never really yelled at us, he'd just tell us to get back safely as soon as we could, which would usually mean 12noon-1pm to us.

and these packs of kids would sometimes venture to times square, of course. inevitably someone would want to go into a porn shop and buy something, and the whole pack would follow. back in those days, we would literally be lured into those peep shows by the haggy half dressed women hanging over the top of the booths. literally, i remember a huge room full of circular booths with women chilling at the top of each one trying to get our teenage lunch money. one of my friends fell in love there.

sometimes, we'd go downtown a little and buy cloves and tapes. cloves, "the legal pot", which the older kids would tell us. id get home stinking of cloves, my mom would ask if i had been smoking hams in science class. new york was grimy then and i kinda miss it. shit, maybe its coming back.

i used to do secret skip days, but i would take them with my girlfriend. we would skip classes in college, go to a movie, smoke and get it on. thats what our pagers were for... 321411 meant wanna skip? 1043 meant meet me at home as soon as you can. and 123, of course meant i love you.

i dont really do skip days so much, i just do what i want... but i do like taking the long way home (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=90009).

[Nuzzolese]

The origins of secret skip days go back farther than that. I used to skip out of day-care. I got in huge trouble but I'll never forget my adventure. Mean dogs, strange people in backyards. So much of my childhood travels were dictated by where the mean dogs lived.

[Videodrome]

Out by Sunday? That's pretty harsh. Are you sure she has somewhere to go? You might want to beat her up a little so she can at least get into a battered women's shelter. I think they check for bruises at the door the way bars check I.D. I'm glad you've come to a realization, does it feel liberating already? Do you have any plans for your new single life? Let us know how it turns out.

i suppose the way it was phrased made it appear like a deadline but that's not the case. i work a weekend shift. i know she will leave over the weekend because that's just how she is. she'll go to her parents, we'll break the lease where we're at, i'll pay for it all, and then figure out where i'm moving to. LOL at my new single life. i'll probably take some time off, like a year or some shit. I just turned 31; i shouldn't have to pull off a secret skip day.

[mickill]

I believe that secret skip days may have actually originated in the Pleistocene epoch of the Neogene period. During the woolly mammoth hunting seasons, early homo erectus males would spend much of their time slap boxing and throwing dice. I read about it in National Geographic.

[Myu-to]

If you talk about it, is it really a secret?

[Nuzzolese]

i suppose the way it was phrased made it appear like a deadline but that's not the case. i work a weekend shift. i know she will leave over the weekend because that's just how she is. she'll go to her parents, we'll break the lease where we're at, i'll pay for it all, and then figure out where i'm moving to. LOL at my new single life. i'll probably take some time off, like a year or some shit. I just turned 31; i shouldn't have to pull off a secret skip day.

Happy Birthday!

[Nuzzolese]

I didn't do it afterall. I came to work.

[mickill]

You're all talk.

[Nuzzolese]

all the time

[mickill]

I'm all action. All the time.

[Nuzzolese]

do you think the fact that I did come to work today warrants a thread?

[mickill]

I think it warrants a Sam Mendes directed feature length account of the entire experience with Selma Blair in the lead role. At the very least.

[Nuzzolese]

Videodrome kicking his old lady to the curb a subplot

If Selma Blair is unavailable I'll accept Mila Kunis

[Dorothy Wood]

I would like meryl streep to play my role. oh. wait, I'm not part of the plot. nevermind.

[mickill]

My character would probably only appear during one of the hallucination scenes. I'd want to be played by Emile Hirsch. You could probably get worked into one of the other hallucination scenes. It'd be a small role, but I'm sure Meryl could work magic with it, like she did in Lemony Snicket's...

[Nuzzolese]

Videodrome, how did she take it?

[AceFace]

yeah! i wanna know, too.

[Videodrome]

well... i told her all the things i was feeling and how i hated some parts of the relationship. she was not shocked by this as i have been giving her signs for months. we sat down and went over all the different options that were available to us. we decided that we are going to move to a cheaper place and that she is going to get a car with her extra money. that pretty much takes care of the taxi service i have been running for so long and gives me more flexibility. i told her about my secret skip days and we both laughed, but deep down i know she wonders what i was doing during those days (xbox 360). so in the whole scheme of it all, when it came down to go time, i choked. i told her i wanted to end things for good but somehow we just walked away with a different plan. that's honestly how it went down.

[Nuzzolese]

Well that's very mature and patient. So, are you happy now? Are there some things you love about the relationship? Moving is a big hassle, isn't it? Did you say how long you two had been living together? Did you find your current place together or did she move in with you or what?

[b i o n i c]

there has actually been a conversation here of consequece.. im shocked

[Nuzzolese]

It's my new style, get used to it

[Rock]

Good on you Videodrome. You had the decency to discuss it with her instead of just kicking her to the curb like the week's recycling. bravo.

[b i o n i c]

^ ^ word, respect.