all females want to do is cuddle. that's it. that's all.

[TurdBerglar]

if you do anything with a female there's always some sort of cuddling in involved.

if you go to the mall with a girl. she latches on to that arm instantly and does not let go for anything. you're there trying to walk because she's like half a foot shorter than you and throwing you all off balance. she fucking tugs you into all these fucking stores that are ALL THE FUCKING SAME. all i wanted to do was get some shoes god damn it!

go to a cook out.... tries to cuddle you. all you do at cook outs is sit in lawn chairs, eat burgers, shoot the shit and drink beers. what the girl does is gets a lawn chair and places it as close to yours as possible or worse yet tries to sit on your lap and just sits there with her head on your shoulder. that's all she wants to do! these are YOUR group of friends! not even mine! go chit chat with them instead of just sitting there next to me all fucking day!

go to the beach.... tries to cuddle you in the blazing sun. all the girl wants to do is lay on the towel with you all day. that's it. she doesn't want to go and romp around in the waves. she doesn't want to go on the boardwalk(only if she thinks you're gonna buy her something). she doesn't want to go and walk out onto the jetty. she doesn't want to go check out the tidal pools during low tide and poke at all the little craps and snails and starfish(hahaha! poke her starfish!). NO! all the she wants to do is lay in the sun and cook(need to get that perfect tan!!!!!!!!!) and wants you to do the same. NO! we just spent two and a half hours in a car to get here! let's go play! play in the waves! lets go do something! christ!
it's the fucking BEACH! C'MON!!!

go to a street fair... all she wants to do is street cuddle(similar to mall cuddling) around a bunch of weirdos that smell like patruli oil and have hemp braided into their hair.

go on a hike.... all she wants to do is find some quiet place in the woods and sit on some fallen log and log cuddle you!(cuddle my log baby)


and if she doesn't get that cuddle she wants. then she feels her day was ruined. what the fuck!

[Nuzzolese]

It's true, cuddling is my fave.

[Myu-to]

I enjoy good cuddle too.

[b i o n i c]

its true then!

[Nuzzolese]

DON'T EVER LEAVE ME!

[TurdBerglar]

It's true, cuddling is my fave.

there's a time and a place for it...

[b i o n i c]

mostly, theres a place for it

[TurdBerglar]

yeah

in my pants!!!!!

[Lyman Zerga]

there's a time and a place for it...

agreed.

[Freebasser]

Zorra, are you just going to let him talk about you like this?

[na§tee]

all turdburglar wants to do is generalise. that's it. that's all.

if you do anything with turd there's always some sort of massive offensive generalisation involving the opposite sex involved.

if you go to the mall with turd. he stares at girls' asses and will not quit. he's trying to walk with his throbbing erection but it throws him off balance. he wants to tug it but it's ALL THE FUCKING SAME. all he wants is to get some ass god damn it!

go to a cock, uh.. cook out.. generalise. all you want to do is have the same cognitive capacities as a man! what the turd does is get a chair, places it as close to the female species as possible, and observe, documentarian-like, like david attenborough without the oxbridge education. that's all he wants to do! define women all day! these are HIS women! not individuals! go shut your mouth bitch and bend over!

go to the beach.. generalise in the sun. all the turd wants to do is lay on the towel and leisurely masturbate all day. that's it. he doesn't want to go out and romp around in the waves baywatch slow motion stylee. he doesn't want to go on the boardwalk and buy you shit, because you're a woman and you want sparkly things, right? bitch you don't earn your own money?! he doesn't want to go and walk out on the jetty. he doesn't want to appreciate fine marine life, because you know turd is a huge animal and nature lover. doesn't it come across in his sensitive affectionate nature? he's imagining kim kardashian getting washed up like a whale butt nekkid. YES! all he wants to do is lay there in the sun and concentrate on his looks!!!!!!! EXCLAMATION MARKS! and force you to do the same! NO! you know how long i sweated in this car to drive you here? build a fucking sand sculpture of your tits or something! christ! it's fucking TURD! C'MON!!!!

go to a street fair.. generalise and be negative around a bunch of hummus eating bike riding hippies. oh wait!

go on a hike.. all he wants to do is find some place where you can be mute and ride his dick and just go home! suck my log baby!

and if he doesn't get that ass he wants. his day is ruined. what the fuck!

[Freebasser]

Wow.

[b i o n i c]

Jesus, take a chill pill®

[na§tee]

i'm only joking, christ :rolleyes: i'm only getting as unnecessarily pretendy-riled up as he was. he jokes all the time how no-one mentions all the sexist shit he says on here. now if he takes it seriously and calls me a dumb bitch that'll be proving my joke.. serious. or something. take it easy dude.

he'd miss his lady if she wasn't there.

personally there's nout wrong with cuddling but it can go too far. my ex boyfriend was like a big dumb puppy sometimes. he was constantly draped over me. infact he'd call himself a big dumb puppy. imagine! an element of cuddling is fine but i draw the line in bed.. eeuch. i can't quite handle sharing beds properly. i'm like - cuddle for a bit - then MY OWN SPACE PLZ. get your sweaty body offa me yo!

[Freebasser]

No I mean, wow, well written.

Makes my post look like the half-arsed scrawlings of a failed art student.

Oh, wait... :(

[Dorothy Wood]

turd, you need to stop dating 14 year olds.

as for cuddling, I don't care too much for it in circumstances outside of the bedroom...even then, I kinda just get tense and can't relax if it goes on for too long. cuddling and walking is awkward. hand-holding is okay, but not when it's constant.

I think I have intimacy issues. :(

[Lyman Zerga]

i want to cuddle all the time when i love someone (which i do) but i dont cause i know it can get quite annoying for the partner

many people dont got any kind of sensitiveness

[HotAndWet]

I love cuddling!

[taquitos]

i hate it when i get out of the car to walk in somewhere and a chick
immediately grabs around my arm and presses against me like a needy dog.

not that i've been in that situation for a while anyway :rolleyes:

[Bob]

i like cuddling too. there's no risk of premature ejaculation with cuddling, it's a safe thing to do

[Dorothy Wood]

i like cuddling too. there's no risk of premature ejaculation with cuddling, it's a safe thing to do


oh, I beg to differ.

[beastieangel01]

you should change the title to "girls" instead of "females"

if you were to date a woman, it'd be different. At least, somewhat. I like cuddling, but damn.

[mikizee]

2 and a half hours just to get to the beach???

Your poor cunt.

[checkyourprez]

cuddling is the gayiest shit ever invented.

the only way i cuddle is if im trying to get trim or know for sure ill get trim. if i try on say 2 or 3 occasions and no trim, its a deal breaker. no more cuddling when you call. probably no hanging out. and i probably wont even be talking much with you anymore.

we're grown ups here. theres enough chicks in the sea ya know.

[b i o n i c]

im only about 5 minutes from a beach(y)

cuddling naked actually isnt that comfortabe. whats the difference between cuddling and snuggling anyway?

yeah cuddling is (n). fuck puppies and babies too

[checkyourprez]

if you do anything with a female there's always some sort of cuddling in involved.

if you go to the mall with a girl. she latches on to that arm instantly and does not let go for anything. you're there trying to walk because she's like half a foot shorter than you and throwing you all off balance. she fucking tugs you into all these fucking stores that are ALL THE FUCKING SAME. all i wanted to do was get some shoes god damn it!

go to a cook out.... tries to cuddle you. all you do at cook outs is sit in lawn chairs, eat burgers, shoot the shit and drink beers. what the girl does is gets a lawn chair and places it as close to yours as possible or worse yet tries to sit on your lap and just sits there with her head on your shoulder. that's all she wants to do! these are YOUR group of friends! not even mine! go chit chat with them instead of just sitting there next to me all fucking day!

go to the beach.... tries to cuddle you in the blazing sun. all the girl wants to do is lay on the towel with you all day. that's it. she doesn't want to go and romp around in the waves. she doesn't want to go on the boardwalk(only if she thinks you're gonna buy her something). she doesn't want to go and walk out onto the jetty. she doesn't want to go check out the tidal pools during low tide and poke at all the little craps and snails and starfish(hahaha! poke her starfish!). NO! all the she wants to do is lay in the sun and cook(need to get that perfect tan!!!!!!!!!) and wants you to do the same. NO! we just spent two and a half hours in a car to get here! let's go play! play in the waves! lets go do something! christ!
it's the fucking BEACH! C'MON!!!

go to a street fair... all she wants to do is street cuddle(similar to mall cuddling) around a bunch of weirdos that smell like patruli oil and have hemp braided into their hair.

go on a hike.... all she wants to do is find some quiet place in the woods and sit on some fallen log and log cuddle you!(cuddle my log baby)


and if she doesn't get that cuddle she wants. then she feels her day was ruined. what the fuck!

fuck her in the face.

tell her to cuddle that.

[b i o n i c]

how much have you had to drink tonight, son?

[checkyourprez]

hah myself? nothing. i've enjoyed myself a bit of the ratweed, however. but the affect is minimal at this point.

im just being me.

[Myu-to]

theres enough chicks in the sea ya know.
Chicken of the sea?

[hpdrifter]

Patchouli

or is it Pachouli?

Either way not patruli.

neither here nor there, carry on

[Lex Diamonds]

Baby girl gettin straight dick no cuddle
I make her pussy wet, leave dat bitch wit a puddle

[Echewta]

True dat homeskillet. True dat.

[Lex Diamonds]

Ma leetle homie G can't you see I'm bustin free? :(

[checkyourprez]

Chicken of the sea?

yep, plenty of tuna out there.

[Otis Driftwood]

Maybe you should stop hitting on minors, pedo.

[Yetra Flam]

Zorra, are you just going to let him talk about you like this?


yeah because i go to malls. and beaches. and cook outs.

[TurdBerglar]

dork

[mikizee]

yeah because i go to malls. and beaches. and cook outs.

Malls? Cook outs?? How long have you been in the US??? Have you not forgotten where you came from?

I bet you are one of those people who suddenly have a strong american accent, and lost their australian accent within hours of landing in the country. Like shitty actors like Portia De Rossi. You are, aren't you.

[Lex Diamonds]

Wow, you Aussies sure are smart.

(Mike, meet sarcasm, sarcasm, Mike)

[TurdBerglar]

wait


aussies don't have cook outs? bullshit!

[Gareth]

cooking on a bbq, you mean?
unheard of.

[TurdBerglar]

honestly?

stop fucking with me!

[mikizee]

We just don't call em 'cook outs'

An american term.

[b i o n i c]

Malls? Cook outs?? How long have you been in the US??? Have you not forgotten where you came from?

I bet you are one of those people who suddenly have a strong american accent, and lost their australian accent within hours of landing in the country. Like shitty actors like Portia De Rossi. You are, aren't you.

no

[hpdrifter]

I am from the US and I call them BBQs. :confused:

[checkyourprez]

We just don't call em 'cook outs'

An american term.

what the fuck is a cookout?


we have BBQ's, berbaque's, and beerbq's. but we sure as hell don't have any cookouts.

[TurdBerglar]

cooking outside.... cook out


what the fuck


maybe it's a new england thing

[checkyourprez]

i get it.

i know what it is/means.

but we dont have them.

[ET]

What? I love cuddling. It always leads to good things.

You got a cuddleholic on your hands though.

[Dorothy Wood]

no, cook out is a thing outside of new england. I don't really know why it's so offensive to people in here.

it's a bbq, durr. sometimes people I know say "we're going to grill out", or "we're going to cook out". but normally the actual "event" is referred to as a "barbeque".


BFD

[ericlee]

hey turd, quit moonwalking on your carpet with those air jordans on and laying next to your inflate a mate.

Can't blame em' for wanting to cuddle after that.

[TurdBerglar]

we're gonna have a cook-out

[ericlee]

bwahahaaha

[Tzar]

2 and a half hours just to get to the beach???

Your poor cunt.

bahahaha fuck the rest of this thread.. this is in my sig now.

[checkyourprez]

What? I love cuddling. It always leads to good things.

You got a cuddleholic on your hands though.

not always the case.

i know this one skank who specifically calls guys, leads them on, just so she can cuddle and it makes her feel better.

then she leaves and the guy gets nothing but blue balls.

that shit pisses me off. dont lead a guy on, get his dick hard, and than bounce.

and chicks wonder why guys act like assholes to them sometimes.

[ET]

I've never had that problem. :confused:

On second thought, this girl sounds really selfish. What about your wants?

Your needs?

[checkyourprez]

I've never had that problem. :confused:

On second thought, this girl sounds really selfish. What about your wants?

Your needs?

eggsactly. now you see it my way. she is an only child though, and very selfish with other things so that does make sense.


i will have no problem cuddling with my future wife or girlfriends i have had/will have.


but im talking about a girl who leads a guy on making him think hes going to get something. honestly a chick like that is flirting a fine line. if she gets the wrong guy in the wrong situation she is looking to get raped. as disgusting as i really think that is, not all men are of the moral quality of me.

[Knuckles]

not all men are of the moral quality of me.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[checkyourprez]

;)

a lot of what i say is for jokes. but in reality i have the utmost moral fiber sown into the fabric of my being.

[Nuzzolese]

but im talking about a girl who leads a guy on making him think hes going to get something. honestly a chick like that is flirting a fine line. if she gets the wrong guy in the wrong situation she is looking to get raped.

And I say the tease would have had it coming!

[Myu-to]

Despite all of the negative speak here, I still like cuddling.

[b i o n i c]

so its true!

[Myu-to]

Hahahaha!!!

fucker.

[NoFenders]

all turdburglar wants to do is generalise. that's it. that's all.

if you do anything with turd there's always some sort of massive offensive generalisation involving the opposite sex involved.

if you go to the mall with turd. he stares at girls' asses and will not quit. he's trying to walk with his throbbing erection but it throws him off balance. he wants to tug it but it's ALL THE FUCKING SAME. all he wants is to get some ass god damn it!

go to a cock, uh.. cook out.. generalise. all you want to do is have the same cognitive capacities as a man! what the turd does is get a chair, places it as close to the female species as possible, and observe, documentarian-like, like david attenborough without the oxbridge education. that's all he wants to do! define women all day! these are HIS women! not individuals! go shut your mouth bitch and bend over!

go to the beach.. generalise in the sun. all the turd wants to do is lay on the towel and leisurely masturbate all day. that's it. he doesn't want to go out and romp around in the waves baywatch slow motion stylee. he doesn't want to go on the boardwalk and buy you shit, because you're a woman and you want sparkly things, right? bitch you don't earn your own money?! he doesn't want to go and walk out on the jetty. he doesn't want to appreciate fine marine life, because you know turd is a huge animal and nature lover. doesn't it come across in his sensitive affectionate nature? he's imagining kim kardashian getting washed up like a whale butt nekkid. YES! all he wants to do is lay there in the sun and concentrate on his looks!!!!!!! EXCLAMATION MARKS! and force you to do the same! NO! you know how long i sweated in this car to drive you here? build a fucking sand sculpture of your tits or something! christ! it's fucking TURD! C'MON!!!!

go to a street fair.. generalise and be negative around a bunch of hummus eating bike riding hippies. oh wait!

go on a hike.. all he wants to do is find some place where you can be mute and ride his dick and just go home! suck my log baby!

and if he doesn't get that ass he wants. his day is ruined. what the fuck!

LMFAO!

[Miho]

Did anyone else notice Turd wrote a Beastie Boys song on the thread title? Intentional or not. You decide.

[checkyourprez]

i did also notice that nancy drew.

[taquitos]

yeah i noticed that sherlock holmes

[taquitos]

yeah i noticed that one too poirot

[Dorothy Wood]

stop talking about the beastie boys in here! captain obviouses!

[taquitos]

i did also notice that as well dick tracy

[Miho]

Ok, just checking.

Yeah, females want to cuddle a lot, but cuddling is nice, so.

[Lex Diamonds]

stop talking about the beastie boys in here! captain obviouses!
lol

Captain Obvioii?

[taquitos]

i saw that too philip marlowe

[ericlee]

fucking A. I just noticed that nastee welded turd's anus shut.

[Dorothy Wood]

what if poops had butts and anuses? what would a poop's poop look like?

[Miho]

It would look like a butt.

[taquitos]

yeah i noticed that too inspector clouseau

[Dorothy Wood]

It would look like a butt.

lol, this is the best possible response.

[TurdBerglar]

this thread is still going?

[Miho]

We're going to make it go as long as my game thread.

[Nuzzolese]

no doi it's still going, Miss Marple

[hpdrifter]

Shit yeah its still going Jessica Fletcher.

[hpdrifter]

Jim Qwilleran

[hpdrifter]

Gil Grissom

[Miho]

Who what.

I expect the "all males want to do is cuddle. that's it. that's all." thread will be made soon.

[A. Chimendez]

this thread is still going?

Hey look guys, he's too cool for us now.

[Miho]

This thread is bigger and better than Turd now. It's a Mega Turd.

[Gareth]

E is funny
back rubs n shit
hahaha
i didnt do that though

[Gareth]

not wanting to dance?
that is outrageous.

[Gareth]

it's not that i don't, generally
it's just not something that i feel like doing when on e
although, it has been several years
yay hugs