Being a girly girl

[DandyFop]

Dorothy's threads have made me think...I have come to realize lately that I don't really know how to be a girl...I mean I've gotten the makeup thing down okay, and the hair thing down okay, but that's what it's always been is just okay - nothing spectacular, because I don't know what the fuck I am doing. There are girls who I see out and about who I'm like "oh, they did put curlers in their hair so that's why it looks that way" but I've never even done that. Every time I look at instructions online for some hair or makeup thing I just get bored and say fuck it.

A lot of my clothes I have been wearing for like 5 years or longer, because I don't really know about trends. I do like cute clothes, I just don't like spending money on it. I guess I think about all this because in LA there's so many hot girly girls everywhere, and I have become friends with one girl who is total O.C. blonde girl and dresses really well and I just feel like a gross creepy blob who has a rat's nest of hair and stubby nails and yada yada. When I was in high school I used to go shopping with friends and we would ask each other about outfits and stuff but now when I do that I just feel weird because I feel like at this point I should know what the hell I am doing.

That's why I like coming home to Salt Lake for a refresh because nobody here is really stylish or too hot. Hah.

I don't know what this thread is for really....just to hope that there are some others out there who feel the same way?

[Nuzzolese]

So you don't think you're maximizing your full girly potential? You seem like you are happy with the way you are, because you're happy this way in SLC. The only thing making you feel like you have to change is that you are comparing yourself to the OC.

If you really think it's important to look more girly, you have to spend time on it and I don't think you would find it that interesting. You'd have to spend your time and money on your nails and on makeup, looking at fashion magazines, shopping for clothes, trying on outfits and playing with accessories. It takes a lot of experimentation. Some girls enjoy spending their time that way and the end result is usually that they look like it. You seem like someone who would rather spend her time doing something else, and if you look like you spend your time doing something else, then you're projecting the real you, right?

I mean, are you unhappy with yourself and the way you look? You shouldn't compare yourself to the way other girls look. Try comparing yourself to the way they talk and think and the ideas they have. Then you might decide that if they spent more time doing whatever you do to make you so interesting, then they'd be cooler and their fashion might suffer. Conversely, you let your fashion suffer for the sake of your personality.

Girls who do nothing but talk about clothes and makeup and spend all their time doing their hair...boring, self-involved.

[b i o n i c]

you've got boobs, dont worry about it

[Adam]

stay as you are.

girly girls are fucking annoying. it just means you have interests beyond your self, which is only ever a good thing.

edit: to clarify I know this thread wasn't about changing ya self but just an observation - but just in case you do think about changing ya self re: above is all.

[mickill]

Boobs do indeed automatically give you an edge.

[Nuzzolese]

I think that, rather than trying to keep up with others in one field and fight a defensive battle, you should find out what you are the best at and make other people feel inferior to that.

I am naturally girly and cool at the same time, which not everyone can do. Of course I've never been to LA...

[mickill]

I've always naturally been a boyee boy (and cool too), so I've never known what it's like to struggle with my sexuality either.

[DandyFop]

Well, I am into all my own stuff of course, and yeah I could never fully become one of those gals that is super into it. I guess it's just that even while I do just say fuck it and pursue what I want to do (aka comedy shit), there are still so many girls in that arena who look like they know how to dress themselves in the morning.

LA is rough, I think it just gets to me...it's like there is constantly people around that you are like "holy shit that outfit is amazing" or "holy shit she is beautiful" and it's hard to live up to. And that's the thing, is they aren't all trying to be models or something, some of them are just trying to do what I am! So it becomes like "oh not only are they stylish and beautiful but they are also hilarious and better at being funny than me."

Really I just need to lose the weight that I've wanted to foreverrrrr and I think I'll be okay with everything.

Thanks for reading me whine.

I guess part of it is that when I DO want to be girly and sexy or something, I feel like people might think it's weird that I am doing it. Like when I dress up people seem surprised. But I can look hot if I want to sometimes...it just makes me feel a bit strange.

[hpdrifter]

When I lived in L.A. I became obsessed with my looks. I became anorexic and bulemic and was down to about 100 pounds (I'm 5'7")

I am not one of those girls that has a knack for fashion or hair or makeup. I used to lament this fact but in recent years have come to the realization that there is more to life than sartorial splendor. Don't get me wrong, I still get bummed when I walk around Nordstrom and see the mannequins all dolled up in the cutest cutting edge fashions with perfect accessories, or the chicks at the MAC counter who can somehow apply turquoise eye shadow without looking like clowns. But I have come to accept that I just don't have it. And that's okay, it's like Nuzzolese said, it takes a ton of time and effort and I'd rather be reading or playing guitar or singing or playing Wii or looking after my bunnies.

[monkey]

you know, i used to feel that way, about not being a girly girl. but then i stopped caring about it a bit. i am not stylish, but i have personal style. i dont fuss about hair and makeup that much. i just make sure my hair is brushed before i leave the house, and 75% of the time, i just wear mascara and sunscreen. the other 24% is nothing. only 1% of the time do i ever take more than 20 mins to get ready (that includes the shower!).

there are times that i try, and i do my nails. but that lasts like... an hour? at most.

i have feelings of inferiority occasionally. easily fixed by the thought: i rather be comfortable/warm/have an extra half hour of sleep.

and sometimes, you dont notice your own girlyness until you are placed in a group of farting men.

[Nuzzolese]

My boyfriend's sister spends hours of her life on her appearance but she always looks like Brittany Spears on a bad day. She wears way too much makeup - on her entire body! I've seen her room and every inch is covered with cheap clothes and it's all dusted with bronzing powder. Her hair is always fried and her clothes are all cheap trendy crap. So just because she spends time on it doesn't mean she does a good job.

You have to know what works for you and stick with it, then you look like you know what you're doing, and you spend your time on your looks economically, even if it doesn't get you the most attention.

I do think that most people have to go through some trial and error period in finding their own style, so if you missed out on that in your teens you have to do it in secret now that you're an adult.

Some people just aren't going to look girly, and especially if you're a comedian I think looking too girly could work against you.

[fucktopgirl]

Anyway, being a girly girl is a cliche of our society. It is a pattern that has been established long time ago and it evoluate up to now, where we are suppose to be almost naked , slutty , on high heels and putting shit on our face. I see it as a denaturalization of our essence.The feminine model that is represent everywhere ,in the media, music, fashion and so on, is a false one, a fake one that create some discomfort in people mind, like you and lots of others, because they think it is the way to be or look.

It is so fucking shallow!

The important thing is to be yourself and to love the way you are.

[Lyman Zerga]

i love being feminine but calling me a girlie is one of the biggest insults you can throw at me (n)

[Nuzzolese]

I like being called girlie. I think it's cute. Almost as cute as me.

[fucktopgirl]

I am more like a feminin warrior.. but quite sexy!!

[taquitos]

this thread needs masculine regulation

[Nuzzolese]

this thread needs masculine regulation

It sure does. It's been a very, very bad thread.

[taquitos]

girly girl = two vaginas

[Echewta]

Being a native of Los Angeles, I always find it interesting when people think they have to fit in with the "beautiful and comemmercial" people. No way! L.A. is awesome. So many people that you can be whatever you want and FIT IN because there are those like you. Your friend is a girly girl and you aren't and trip out, you are both friends. Go to the nail salon if you like getting your nails done. If you dont, why do it for someone else? I would think it would be easier for those who think they are different to hang out in L.A. then, lets say SLC. SLC Punks sucked as a move P.S.

Dandy, haven't you been in production meetings and looked around and noticed how different everyone is? Hipsters, girly girls, velvet mafia, country knuckleheads, surfers, sk8rs, banana republicsters, etc.?

Los Angeles rules and you fit in perfectly.

[Nuzzolese]

Yeah, come to think of it, aren't Californians supposed to be laid back?

[HEIRESS]

I always up my game when I'm visiting a larger city eg, vancouver/montreal.

but even then I am not trying very hard.

people at my work freak out if I show up wearing mascara or god forbid non-workout pants that actually have a zipper and I cant avoid the "OMGGGGGEEEeeeee you look so different todaaaaaaaaaaay" comments the entire day.

I put on makeup and an "outfit" once a week if Im lucky and have plans on fri/saturday night. oh, and use my contact lenses. I only bust those baby out on special occasions.

but other than that, thats about it.

that's not to say I don't have an overstocked closet with tons of stuff Im lucky if i wear once a year. I have high hopes when I shop, but then I just cant be bothered to wear the crap in public because I don't go out very much.

but yes, we are lucky dandy.
tight shirt= debutante grandball worthy in dudes eyes.

[Lyman Zerga]

I like being called girlie. I think it's cute. Almost as cute as me.

girlie means to me a female whos hobbies are butterflies, bubble gums and to wear tons of glitter

girlie = dumbie

[Dorothy Wood]

the people in L.A. are closer to what echewta said than what you or the rest of america (and I previously) thought. the plastic to normal ratio is probably a little higher there than anywhere else, but when I was there last, I went to plenty of places expecting to be the ugliest fattest monster around...but I wasn't. there were so many different styles and sizes of people. I went to hipster places mostly, of course, but even then I thought everybody would be smoking hot. there were maybe a couple of outrageously gorgeous women, but everyone else was regular/medium.

However, L.A. is kind of weird because everyone is constantly looking at each other and I can see how that would make a person crazy. I have never in my life been to a city where I accidentally made eye contact with so many people...including scott speedman.


style advice from me, the girly girl tom boy:

I wouldn't worry about having to look put together all the time with make up and shit. you seem like you have good skin, so just a bit of blush and mascara should do it. maybe get an eyelash curler, they work wonders.

as for clothes, just get some basic pieces, some cute cotton tops and flattering jeans and shorts. it takes a lot of trying on to get stuff to fit right, but you should never buy anything that doesn't fit perfectly or you're never going to like it. never underestimate a plain t-shirt and a cool long necklace, worn with well-fitting jeans. being endowed as you are, I would go for a looser fit t-shirt, but nothing too frumpy. getting things to fit right in the shoulders is really important too.

H&M and Target are my favorite cheap stores to shop at for trendy things. Target's sizes are stupid though, so you kind of have to wade through a lot of crap. Old Navy is good for basics.


this is getting to be too long! my point is, you have to find things that are flattering to you, rather than trying to follow the trends that only work on certain people.



I really only dress up if I'm going to a party or a performance, or a wedding. a lot times I dress like a frumpy dork at work. I've never been able to harness that daily effortless style that some people have, but I'm trying to get there by only buying clothes I really like and getting rid of things that I hate or are just so-so.

[Echewta]

Stan Lee was at my work yesterday. I held the door open for him while his friend inside said "Stan, come inside." Stan replied, "Yea yea, its just such a beautiful day out here."

Typical L.A.

[Dorothy Wood]

after writing my advice, I just looked at myself and what I was wearing and started laughing. all my clothes match in some way, but I look retarded. mostly on account of my favorite gray skinny jeans no longer being skinny so they're all baggy in the butt. and they match my tennis shoes almost exactly. and I'm wearing a crazy black/pink/green/blue/orange print blouse with an ugly pink cardigan.

remind me to burn these pants when I get home.

[Knuckles]

Stan Lee was at my work yesterday. I held the door open for him while his friend inside said "Stan, come inside." Stan replied, "Yea yea, its just such a beautiful day out here."

Typical L.A.

Stan Lee is one of my heroes. Awesome.(y)


Dandy, you are super cute and funny. Don't spoil it by getting too girly girl.

[ET]

Girlie girls are a dime a dozen. Bo-ring.

You on the other hand are a unique snowflake. Don't go changin', kid.

[mathcart]

Dandy, you are super cute and funny. Don't spoil it by getting too girly girl.

Damn it. Was going to say the same shit too.

Not that you seem to be looking for this in this thread but...

Your hot in a way that plastic vacuous "perfect" people never can be- which besides being better and realer is actually HOTTER.

I'm embarrassed now, you happy?
:o

[mate_spawn_die]

So you don't think you're maximizing your full girly potential? You seem like you are happy with the way you are, because you're happy this way in SLC. The only thing making you feel like you have to change is that you are comparing yourself to the OC.

If you really think it's important to look more girly, you have to spend time on it and I don't think you would find it that interesting. You'd have to spend your time and money on your nails and on makeup, looking at fashion magazines, shopping for clothes, trying on outfits and playing with accessories. It takes a lot of experimentation. Some girls enjoy spending their time that way and the end result is usually that they look like it. You seem like someone who would rather spend her time doing something else, and if you look like you spend your time doing something else, then you're projecting the real you, right?

I mean, are you unhappy with yourself and the way you look? You shouldn't compare yourself to the way other girls look. Try comparing yourself to the way they talk and think and the ideas they have. Then you might decide that if they spent more time doing whatever you do to make you so interesting, then they'd be cooler and their fashion might suffer. Conversely, you let your fashion suffer for the sake of your personality.

Girls who do nothing but talk about clothes and makeup and spend all their time doing their hair...boring, self-involved.

^ yup

[gbsuey]

A few years ago i would laugh about that "hard to achieve just-got -out-of-bed hair look" 'cause that's all i would do to get ready pretty much-get out of bed! I mean appearance-wise,i do wash! But now, and even more so recently, i arse about with the hair, make-up and all that shit-i enjoy it and love clothes but will never feel like a proper girlie girl.
I have clothes i've had for years and mix them up with stuff i buy currently. Couldn't really care if it's fashionable-i wear what i think suits me and actually enjoy dressing that way.

The fact you have a sense of style that is "you" will make you ten times more fantastic than the concrete face clones that seem to be everywhere. You always look so cute in all the pics of you i've seen here- i would say you have nothing to worry about.

[beastieboysbaby]

my boobs are not fully grown :eek:
so i'm not infact a girly girl!?!?

[russhie]

I get annoyed when people assume 'girly girls' are all self-involved, vacuous bimbos. I like shoes, clothes, makeup and other girly pursuits but I'm also capable of holding an intelligent conversation. The ability to cultivate a particular kind of image doesn't limit personal intelligence or mean you care less about equality and feminisim and all that.

The stereotype is stupid.

[Lyman Zerga]

I get annoyed when people assume 'girly girls' are all self-involved, vacuous bimbos. I like shoes, clothes, makeup and other girly pursuits but I'm also capable of holding an intelligent conversation. The ability to cultivate a particular kind of image doesn't limit personal intelligence or mean you care less about equality and feminisim and all that.

The stereotype is stupid.

truth sucks

when teenagers get called girly girls..well fine but grown women still being girly girls? i think thats quite pathetic

there should be more to life than fashion magazines and pedicures at some stage of life

[beastieangel01]

I think it's all about the individual and what you like doing/what makes you happy.

The curlers and things like that? Yeah I have no idea WTF I am doing either. I know how to put my hair up to get it out of my way, but it doesn't look spectacular. It's that, or I straighten it. That's all I know how to do :( haha.

Makeup I'm okay with, but I think it's because I do art so I interpret it in a similar way. But even then, I'm not nearly as good as others. I generally know one style that looks good on me so I stick to it. Sometimes I'm in awe at how they can do some of the makeup, especially the smokey eye look. No clue how to do that myself!

The cute clothes and accessories and such, sometimes I get lucky and pull something off. But for the most part I find myself in jeans and some kind of cute top maybe, then I wear kicks because I suck at walking in heels... I don't think my feet are cut out for it. I have flat feet :( Then if I wear jewelery it starts to annoy me and I take it off usually.

Anyway, point is, you aren't the only one :)

[Yetra Flam]

uhhh i guess i would say just be yourself and be comfortable. and if you feel comfortable, you'll look more attractive. i dont know.

[Myu-to]

Ohh

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom, Ohh
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
Is That the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
Oh no, 'cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, Oh no
So don't you bring me down today...

(No matter what we do)
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(We're the song inside the tune) Ohh yeahhh (full of beautiful mistakes)

(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
Sun will always, always, shine

'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today

Ohhh

Yeahhh

Don't you bring me down, today...

Heyy, eee, heyy, ohh

Don't you bring me down... yeeeeaaaaaa... today...

[mikizee]

You just know that song was written for all the obese christina fans who would sit it their room devouring hershey bar after hershey bar sobbing into their chocolate while listening to that song all the while going om nom nom *sob* om nom *sob* yes... om nom I am om nom beautiful waaaaaaaa *sob*

a previously untapped market for songwriting, she has good marketing skills

[Nuzzolese]

What I've learned from this thread is that if you have a smaller chest you have to try a little harder to be pretty. You might want to put glitter on them to make them more noticeable.

[adam_f]

If you have a small chest, don't go outside.

[beastieangel01]

I often wish for a smaller chest to be able in order to pull off just about any style of clothing I want.

Being a curvy girl, it's hard to find styles that are flattering and don't make you look overly slutty simply due to the size of, erm, things.

[b i o n i c]

What I've learned from this thread is that if you have a smaller chest you have to try a little harder to be pretty.

who said that?

[Nuzzolese]

who said that?

I inferred from the comments about how large-chested women don't have to worry about being girly, because of the afore-mentioned endowments.

[b i o n i c]

that statement does not negate any other forms of girly

[Nuzzolese]

that statement does not negate any other forms of girly


What other forms? Like having a nice butt?

[b i o n i c]

by definition anything "feminine" is girly, no?: boobs, booties, bows, pink, make-up, lipstick

[Nuzzolese]

Some things can be feminine but not girly, like black lycra or long red dragon lady nails, you know, like what grandma wore.

[-T-]

I like my women completely unshaven, large biceps, and flannel shirts. Who wants a "girly girl"?

[b i o n i c]

red dragon lady nails are the sexy equivalent of plumbers crack

[DipDipDive]

uhhh i guess i would say just be yourself and be comfortable. and if you feel comfortable, you'll look more attractive. i dont know.

This is totally true.

I dress like a twelve year old boy most of the time. Literally. I mostly wear jeans and kids' t-shirts that I buy at thrift stores. I wear the checkered Vans I've had since high school almost every day, weather permitting. I seldom wear skirts and can't stand being in anything too tight-fitting even though I like my figure a lot.

I'm by no means stylish, but I definitely have style, and it's my own. I think that's what's more important than anything. If you're wearing something that isn't you and you are visibly uncomfortable because of it, that shit is obvious to others by the way you carry yourself. It's way more attractive to be confident and comfortable at the risk of appearing less girly than those around you.

I've found in recent experience that the "this is me, I'm not changing, and the dudes or chicks who disapprove can blow me" attitude seems to work out nicely.

[DipDipDive]

I've also learned that anyone who spends more time judging me than I do judging myself is a dick who isn't worth my time. They, too, can blow me. :cool:

[Gareth]

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25171172-36398,00.html

nothing to do with how a girl dresses
but anyway...i don't think it was necessary to conduct a study to find out that yobbos are unattractive

[paul jones]

I used to be a girly girl then I woke up and it was all a dream and I was just this unshaven mess of a bloke.bah!:mad:

[ET]

I get annoyed when people assume 'girly girls' are all self-involved, vacuous bimbos.

That's my definition though.

Nothing wrong with liking fashion though. I can't fault anyone for dressing their age and being confident with their looks. It's attractive.

[cosmo105]

sometimes i love being feminine and wearing a nice purty dress or something. but most of the time, i too feel like i have no idea what i'm doing and end up changing into something more comfortable. but it's been nice as i've grown up to feel more comfortable in my own skin and know how to act and dress like a lady.

i'm still the biggest tomboy i know in my major, though.

[taquitos]

sounds like a buncha slutz0rz to me. girls i know spit blood at dresses.

[Echewta]

Whats this country coming to? Girls who don't like dressing like girls? I blame Obama.

[Echewta]

I look girly in jeans OR trousers.