View Full Version : Some days I feel like I should have been born a boy
russhie
03-20-2009, 03:23 AM
When it comes to relations with the opposite sex, I'm so much more blokey than my mates. Sometimes I feel like I behave (in the stereotypical sense) like a guy, and I don't like this, because I'm made to feel bad about it. Even though the whole "blokey" easygoing approach to dating is more in tune with my personality and stuff.
What annoys me is the bullshit that comes with it from other girls. As an example...last weekend, I went out with my housemates and ended up going home before them. One of the boys I'm seeing later asked to come over, so I gave the girls a heads up that I was going to have someone with me overnight (house rule). I didn't expect the tears and temper tantrum that followed, with both of them telling me to "respect myself" more, and whingeing that I get "all the nice guys, why don't I have any, it's not fair".
I just think it's possible for two consenting adults to particpate in casual relationships, and it's entirely possible to have respect for one another in such relationships. Just as long as you're both on the same page. Right? I feel like I should be able to see as many people as I like, in whatever capacity I like, as long I'm fine with what I'm doing and other parties involved are fine with it too. And that other people who are not directly involved should try and respect the way I operate.
Ha, I'm looking to the internet for reassurance that I'm not doing anything wrong :(
taquitos
03-20-2009, 03:29 AM
i;m drunk and didn't read your post but i'm pretty sure i would have been a way better girl in case you were wondering
b i o n i c
03-20-2009, 04:57 AM
just for you (http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/08/magic%2Bcone.jpg)
First off, I think that is an insane house rule, as long as you ain't insanely noisy I see no bad.
As for reassurance, I dunno what to say. I've lived in shared housing all my adult life with females and males and to me it sounds more like a house-mate problem. Over emotional house mates who may have good intentions that they make want you to be safe at all times, maybe naturally jealous or something but its pretty insulting and selfish that you can't have your own life outside them.
I have lived with girls who are pretty fucking annoying and they soon learn to hate me. I can't suffer fools easily and I'll take the piss until they either run off crying or learn to grow up. I'm a pretty nice guy generally so I'm not overly horrible but self-involved selfishness is a trait I cannot stand.
RobMoney$
03-20-2009, 05:13 AM
Here's the cliff's notes version for anyone who didn't read all three paragraphs:
"My roommates are cockblocking me"
funk63
03-20-2009, 06:38 AM
If I was born a girl I would of been the coolest, down girlfriend to someone.
just for you (http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/08/magic%2Bcone.jpg)
That is fucking awesome
hpdrifter
03-20-2009, 11:57 AM
I've had roommates do this to me too, but actually in my case it was a dude.
I was in college and single, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it but one night I had a male friend over. The next day this roommate of mine stopped me to tell me what he had heard and how I should have more respect for myself than to sleep with a man outside of a relationship or something like that. There is no way he could have heard anything unless he was standing right outside my door. I was so creeped out I couldn't even move. I tell you, he made me way more uncomfortable than my casual relationship with my male friend ever did.
Nuzzolese
03-20-2009, 12:38 PM
I just think it's possible for two consenting adults to particpate in casual relationships, and it's entirely possible to have respect for one another in such relationships.
It's possible. It's not likely that the man will have respect for the woman, but I guess it's possible. I might be biased by the closed-minded men I've known who judge women harshly by their sexual behavior.
Nuzzolese
03-20-2009, 12:44 PM
Oh, this was this one time when I went to a party with a friend and his friend, and I assumed we were all just friends. He drove. We split up at the party, talking to all different people we knew. Later a group of different people were going somewhere else, so I told my friend that I was going to go with them, so see you later have fun! They didn't like that at all. The friend of my friend said "you came with us, you should leave with us." I was mystified. To this day I think I misunderstood the whole situation.
Sometimed my friends wouldn't be straight with me. They'd be telling me to do something or not to do something for all kinds of reasons but they wouldn't tell me the honest reason because they thought it would hurt me. Like, they would tell me not to hang out with a certain male and they'd give me vague hints but never tell me (until I figured it out later) that they knew more about him and that he was an asshole. I guess sometimes you have to just trust your true friends.
Between doing something and doing nothing, usually doing nothing is the better choice when it comes to "hangin' out and hooking up" Oh! You kids!
Nuzzolese
03-20-2009, 05:06 PM
Where sluts can be free from persecution.
Junker
03-20-2009, 07:37 PM
Some days I feel like I should have been born a boy
Me too. :(
Dorothy Wood
03-20-2009, 08:43 PM
I went through a "slut" phase about 2-3 years ago. my housemates were a little concerned, but they left me alone about it for the most part and never cried about it.
they were all nice boys anyway, except for this one rock'n'roller kid who was apparently a sleepwalker that woke up in the night, left a used condom on the kitchen counter, then passed out on a futon in our game room naked. my roommates were pretty unhappy with that. and I was quite embarrassed. also, he was gross and wore the same clothes everyday, I was just blinded by celebrity and taken in by his charm. plus he let me drive the tour van. (y)
anyway sounds like you need cooler friends/housemates. they seem jealous.
with both of them telling me to "respect myself" more, and whingeing that I get "all the nice guys, why don't I have any, it's not fair".
Do you live with 17 year olds? As long as you're being safe and not fucking around with people's emotions then what's the problem? I'm a guy so...
For the record, I've never left cummy dick on a futon before. That I remember.
hpdrifter
03-20-2009, 11:31 PM
Do you live with 17 year olds? As long as you're being safe and not fucking around with people's emotions then what's the problem? I'm a guy so...
I agree. And I hate the "slut" moniker.
Nuzzolese
03-23-2009, 10:06 AM
I agree. And I hate the "slut" moniker.
It just gets kind of old, doesn't it? Those brats think they're so smart, always running off to school with their little backpacks, it makes you wonder why they can't learn another word to paint on my trailer, you know?
If I were a bro (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaS6mlUS5Kw)
beastieangel01
03-23-2009, 05:18 PM
I just think it's possible for two consenting adults to particpate in casual relationships, and it's entirely possible to have respect for one another in such relationships. Just as long as you're both on the same page. Right? I feel like I should be able to see as many people as I like, in whatever capacity I like, as long I'm fine with what I'm doing and other parties involved are fine with it too. And that other people who are not directly involved should try and respect the way I operate.
yes.
adam_f
03-24-2009, 04:10 PM
Great analysis, Tim McCarver.
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