Normal 5 year old behavior

[Nuzzolese]

I'm not around many children these days so I don't have much to compare him to, but I sometimes think my bf's 5-year-old half brother is slightly abnormal.

I know it's easy to be judgemental of other people's children, especially if you have no children of your own, so I'm trying to keep an open mind. And maybe all kids are pretty weird when you get down to it. If you think about it, a 5-year-old is being totally honest all the time, just being himself. He hasn't started to understand social behavior very well and he hasn't learned much modesty yet. So perhaps just about anything could be seen as "normal" at that age.

sheltered environment:
First of all, he's got a 12 year old half brother and a 3 year old sister. He's never been to preschool and he doesn't have playdates with other kids. The family lives out in the country, I don't even think they have other kids as neighbors but if they did, they're not in walking distance. The're pretty well off and he has a ton of toys.

poor speech:
He's really cute and loves attention and talking, but it's hard to understand what he's saying. At that age are kids supposed to be pretty clear in their speech? He seems to have trouble pronouncing his words. Usually people have to ask him to repeat himself.

no creative play:
He's not really rough or violent but he doesn't really play very in-depth either. He just likes to grab things and smash them together or throw them. He loves play-doh, but when I play with him he's never creative. He just likes to smash stuff that I make for him. Then he asks me to make more things. I try to show him how to build shapes and little animals out of the dough but he says he can't do it. All he does is press it into the molds and then smash it again. At what age to kids start to draw and make things out of their imaginations? I feel like, as a kid, I was always doing that even at that young age, but maybe my memory is off.

insensitive to violence:
he watches really gory slasher movies like Friday the 13th and Halloween. First of all, I can't believe his parents let him watch that stuff, but it doesn't bother him at all! He doesn't get scared or offended by all the blood and killing!


sexuality:
He is obsessed with his penis. He plays with it all the time, gets erections, asks if it's going to get bigger, etc. I have a feeling that this is actually pretty normal but do you think that, along with the violence thing, it's a sign of something strange?


Ahhh, kids these days!!

[jabumbo]

sheltered environment:
First of all, he's got a 12 year old half brother and a 3 year old sister.


you date a 12 year old?

[Fern]

I did not walk, talk, or shit on the bowl until I was approx 3 1/2. My sister who is 15 months younger than me beat me in all three above categorys.

[Nuzzolese]

you date a 12 year old?

Alright he's got three more half siblings but they don't live with him so they're not part of his daily environment.

[Nuzzolese]

I did not walk, talk, or shit on the bowl until I was approx 3 1/2. My sister who is 15 months younger than me beat me in all three above categorys.


I've heard that girls develop faster as children than boys do.

[Helvete]

This kid will be on the news when he is older. All the makings of a serial killer rapist. I'm serious. I would explain it but I am on my phone and it's too hard to type a lot.

[fucktopgirl]

You should go play soccer with him instead of trying to build things, little boy need to get out energy,i.e. physical stuff.


Oh but watching movie like friday the 13 or halloween at 5 years, i dont think it is really good on the mind. Those movies don,t generate a good vibe, if you know what i mean.

[cookiepuss]

well I do not think it's healthy to allow a 5 year old to watch horror movies. (n)

the penis obsession isn't unusual in my opinion.

he might have a slight learning disability affecting his speech...he should probably be tested and working with a professional on that.

his smashing things...I wouldn't say unusual...but might be a sign that he's frustrated and the only outlet he has to get that out is to destroy his toys.
I once tore up one of my favorite books when I was little...I believe I was upset/frustrated because I could not read it by myself..so I destroyed it.

[YoungRemy]

interesting. this exact subject is being discussed in another forum, subject is a five year old girl who barely speaks.

someone recommended this (besides seeing a specialist)

Get a book. Ask (him) to point to the rabbit, dog, cat, etc. put three m&m's on one side and four on the other. Ask (him) which is more?

in my opinion, he probably just needs to see a speech pathologist when he gets to school. maybe he'll get held back a year, don't know what else to say based on the info provided.

does he call family members by their name? does he know his own name?

it sounds more and more like you said, just a sheltered kid who has not a lot of peers to learn from...

[Nuzzolese]

Yeah, I figured the penis obsession was typical because he's just learning about his body. And I know lots of little kids haven't learned yet what is not appropriate in public. I just wasn't sure if it was normal for little kids to get erections. I thought they couldn't even get aroused yet at that age.

He seems smart enough, he can count and he knows everyone's names.

(Although the whole family calls the 3-year-old girl "Baby" instead of by her name, but that kid's a whole different issue.)

[Nuzzolese]

This kid will be on the news when he is older. All the makings of a serial killer rapist. I'm serious. I would explain it but I am on my phone and it's too hard to type a lot.

That's what I'm afraid of! Either that or he'll commit some hate crime because his dad is brainwashing him to be a racist homophobe.

[Videodrome]

he will come out of his shell once he goes to school. he will be taught proper speech and be able to have friends. playing with his ding dong is perfectly normal. the parents should not be allowing him to watch those types of movies as they could affect his development.

[YoungRemy]

you and your bf should take him to the Zoo, or Six Flags, or something fun along those lines...

do they get along well?

[Adam]

Maybe have a search for 'child erections' on google - I really don't know what age kids start to get them at. I can't remember for me. But it does sound like he has a lot of testosterone.

I know nothing about kids though but I would also be a bit 'hmmmmmmms' if I knew a kid like that to.

[YoungRemy]

Maybe have a search for 'child erections' on google

somehow I get the notion that this isn't a very good idea


I really don't know what age kids start to get them at. I can't remember for me. But it does sound like he has a lot of testosterone.

I know nothing about kids though but I would also be a bit 'hmmmmmmms' if I knew a kid like that to.

like someone said earlier, a five year old who discovered his ding dong is nothing unusual

[Nuzzolese]

I can't wait for him to start school so I can see what kind of kid he grows into, socially. My bf and I can't take him anywhere. The only time we play with him is when we go over to their dad's for a visit.

[Nuzzolese]

you and your bf should take him to the Zoo, or Six Flags, or something fun along those lines...

do they get along well?

Sure they get along fine. I like playing with the little kids more than he does though. Those kids LOVE me! And they say that the boy has a "crush" on me. I hope he doesn't murder me.

[YoungRemy]

what I am suggesting is that some good old fashioned Big Brotherly Love is all the kid needs.

you can't take him anywhere?

are there no parks or playgrounds in your area?

[cookiepuss]

yep...a 5 year old is capable for getting an erection. it's been well documented in the medical world. they don't produce sperm yet, but all the equipment works.

[Nuzzolese]

what I am suggesting is that some good old fashioned Big Brotherly Love is all the kid needs.

you can't take him anywhere?

are there no parks or playgrounds in your area?

He's not allowed out of the house. Surrounding his house for miles you find nothing but woods and farms - no playgrounds. Besides that, they have a full playground in their basement complete with inflatable trampoline-cage-thingy.

He does have the 12-year-old 1/2 brother, but that's a sad story. He's the mom's son, not the dad's, so he's not as highly regarded in that household as "the babies" who are of the bloodline of their crazy dad.

[Nuzzolese]

yep...a 5 year old is capable for getting an erection. it's been well documented in the medical world. they don't produce sperm yet, but all the equipment works.

does it have anything to do with sexual arousal at that age, or is it just something that happens?

[YoungRemy]

He's not allowed out of the house. Surrounding his house for miles you find nothing but woods and farms - no playgrounds. Besides that, they have a full playground in their basement complete with inflatable trampoline-cage-thingy.

He does have the 12-year-old 1/2 brother, but that's a sad story. He's the mom's son, not the dad's, so he's not as highly regarded in that household as "the babies" who are of the bloodline of their crazy dad.

at first the way you described it, it didn't sound that abnormal, but what the fuck? "he's not allowed outside of the house"??

that basement playground sounds more like a torture chamber. no wonder you think this kid is not developing normally- HE CAN'T LEAVE HIS FREAKING HOME? go play in the fucking woods, that's what I did growing up in a residential community surrounded by lots of forests, creeks, ditches, and shit like that. you and your bf can't take the damn kid outside and teach him how to ride a bike for crying out loud? are there any ponds to go fishing in? take him camping overnight, there are tons of activities he could be taking part in...

and the family situation you described sounds bleak.

he is going to have a difficult time in his first year in school. is your bf as concerned as you are?

does it have anything to do with sexual arousal at that age, or is it just something that happens?

i would say a bit of both...

[cookiepuss]

does it have anything to do with sexual arousal at that age, or is it just something that happens?

I believe it's an automated response to physical stimuli. the child simply learns that it feels good to touch themselves/masturbate.

[NoFenders]

At 5?

[Dorothy Wood]

the penis thing is normal I think, but usually a 5 year old will have developed a little bit of modesty. sounds like he's acting more like a 3 year old.

it also seems like he lives in an unstructured "anything goes" kind of environment...which isn't ideal for a developing child. and if he's watching a lot of television and movies, he's probably not getting enough of the one on one human interaction that he needs to develop proper speech.

I think school will help with that.

also, he's probably not creative because he's never needed to be, with all the toys and movies...he has constant entertainment at his fingertips. and while that can be fun at first, in my opinion, it only breeds boredom and frustration. because humans, by nature, are creative beings. especially when young. I'd venture to say that the constant stimulation is actually hindering his cognitive development.

final assessment:
he needs more human interaction, and to exercise his imagination by playing outside with no toys. okay, maybe a ball...but he has to make up his own game with his own rules, not just bounce it around.

[cookiepuss]

At 5?

are you asking about masturbation at 5?
there's been documentation of fetuses seen touching themselves in the womb as seen through ultra sound...obviously you can't prove what they are doing or that they are even developed enough to expereince pleasure from it...

humans are hard wired for sex..it's part of our survival. some kids discover masturbation very very early...others may not tune into it til puberty. it's quite individual.

the child only knows that touching themselves feels good. they have to be taught that it's not socially acceptable. I have a feeling that his parent are ignoring his masturbation behavior and therefore he's not learning it's a private thing that he should do alone.

[NoFenders]

^ understood

I think a little school will help the little guy. Why isn't he in kindergarten?

[ms.peachy]

Not allowed to leave the house, but allowed to watch slasher movies?

That is freakin' weird.

regrading his speech - Does he seem to hear OK?

[Adam]

"carbona not glue" enter my head reading this thread.

[Rock]

well I do not think it's healthy to allow a 5 year old to watch horror movies. (n)

I watched horror movies at that age. Not Friday the 13th but Hammer Studio movies and things of that sort and I ended up not being a serial killer and somewhat normal. Just have to make sure they know the difference between movies and real life.

[Nuzzolese]

at first the way you described it, it didn't sound that abnormal, but what the fuck? "he's not allowed outside of the house"??

that basement playground sounds more like a torture chamber. no wonder you think this kid is not developing normally- HE CAN'T LEAVE HIS FREAKING HOME? go play in the fucking woods, that's what I did growing up in a residential community surrounded by lots of forests, creeks, ditches, and shit like that. you and your bf can't take the damn kid outside and teach him how to ride a bike for crying out loud? are there any ponds to go fishing in? take him camping overnight, there are tons of activities he could be taking part in......


I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it so absolutely. You're taking me too literally. He is allowed outside of the house, with the parents. They can play outside. It's just that they don't take their kids out other places to play like parks or playgrounds, where they might see other kids. Relatives come visit with cousins for them to play with, but that's about it. And their basement is awesome, it's so full of toys and equipment for them to play on. They have a giant fish pond on their property.




he is going to have a difficult time in his first year in school. is your bf as concerned as you are?

...

That's what we think, too. Yeah, we're both concerned but what are we gonna do? They're someone else's kids. They're not being abused (except for maybe the older one who's getting short changed in the parental love)

[Nuzzolese]

I don't know why he's not in kindergarten, maybe his birthday fell too late in the year for the schools to accept him. I agree with all of you that he really would be helped by going to school.

As for his hearing - I have no idea. That's a good question.

This thread is making me sad because he's such a cute little boy and you can tell he can be very sweet, it's a shame to watch him so uninterested in being creative or trying new things. And it's awful to hear him recite the things his dad teaches him to say like "I'm an American and we like to fight!" and "Never give up! Never surrender!"

You're five! You're supposed to surrender!

[Adam]

As long as he knows THESE COLOURS DON'T RUN! then he'll be ok

[Adam]

As long as he knows THESE COLOURS DON'T RUN! then he'll be ok

edit: ha, I spelt colours the british way... I'll leave it for comic effect, since I am such a comic genius.


edit edit: I didn't mean to quote me - meant to edit - I'm quite drunk tho.

[NoFenders]

I don't know why he's not in kindergarten, maybe his birthday fell too late in the year for the schools to accept him. I agree with all of you that he really would be helped by going to school.

Could be. But there's always schools that he can go to for like 3 hours every other day (at least). Look into high schools in your area. Some will have programs where the students teach them songs and some basic finger painting and such, but what it really does is get them to interact with other kids their own age. Usually the cost is very little, and the experience they get is priceless.



This thread is making me sad because he's such a cute little boy and you can tell he can be very sweet, it's a shame to watch him so uninterested in being creative or trying new things. And it's awful to hear him recite the things his dad teaches him to say like "I'm an American and we like to fight!" and "Never give up! Never surrender!"

You're five! You're supposed to surrender!

Understood, but some of that can be ok. Having determination is certainly a quality. It can go overboard though. And also, he's a boy. We like to fight and never surrender. ;-)

He's uninterested most likely becasue nobody else is interested around him. Kids have interest in anything new. Approach him in a fun way, and he'll most likely jump right in. Kids can be very surprising that way. We forget what it was like to be 5. Remember things like driving to your grandparents house? Mine lived like 15 minutes away, but I thought they lived like 4 hours away. Everything is different when you're 5.

The main thing is interaction with others his age though. He'll pick right up, and if he doesn't, then atleast the problem could be found sooner.I doubt there's any problem at all though. He seems normal to me. Just needs to get outta the house more often.