conformists and people growin up too fast

[b i o n i c]

another thread reminded me of this

i have this friend, who has always been like itching to be a grown man. its hard to explain.. i love the guy.. the person i know is there somewhere.. but this side of him annoys me, i dont know why - well i kind of know

like the type to wear the class ring at any chance. the type to wear a trench coat and leather gloves at the first chance possible and at every opportunity. the type marry his first love, never ever ever go out without the "wifey", the type to the second he graduated from college and got an corporate job, go out and buy a set of golf clubs and all the gear/vests.. and act like he's been doin it forever. it all seems so inauthentic to me, and it kind of pisses me off that this is the definition of adulthood to some people...

... get the uniform and accouterments that you've observed for years on the commuter train into the city, the crap we would scoff at when we used to caddy, before anyone thought of golf as anything but a way to make some cash.

now, i have nothing against golf.. i actually like golfing as a social activity. i have nothing against a nice pair of leather gloves in the right circumstance, its just this general sentiment thats encapsulated in the outward manifestation of a general attitude and the rejection of everything else.

i dunno, maybe its my own problem with comformity, not that im the biggest rebel - i just have a different idea of growing up than people like this. i feel a little bad about it because, bottom line he's a great guy..

[Adam]

I'm no psychologist but I am guessing he has a view of a older gent who he wants to be - like his dad, some hero, some guy or other that has had an effect on his life whether he knows it or not.

Like some people see a cheech & chong movie for the first time, light a bong and think they are them. Or read a Hunter S. Thompson book, roll a spliff and think they can write gonzo.

Its who ever you see as a hero - my heroes have always been punks which is why most of my working life I've worked for banks and the government (y)

[-T-]

As long as he does not become a wanker its alright. lol

[jabumbo]

just don't start talking shit on arnold palmer and we'll be okay

[b i o n i c]

well i think people who becme this type are wankers, so yeah he's become a bit of a penis

[paul jones]

I'd rather staple my testicles to a table than 'take up golf'

[Adam]

I'd rather staple my testicles to a table than 'take up golf'

it does spoil a good a walk. And landscape. And is a fashion killer.

[jabumbo]

i am quite a fan of golf fashioned pants

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I never liked the idea of the general formulaic life:

"School then College then a Corporate Job then Marriage then a Family"

Who said that's the rule and how it should be? If that's what you want and it makes you happy, okay, fine. But following the formula because you think that's what you have to do? You don't have to do anything.

I do wish people would stop and think about that for a little bit to be sure that's what they really want before going along with the formula.

[Gareth]

"School then College then a Corporate Job then Marriage then a Family"

i followed the first 3 steps.
also, i play golf.
but i don't wear leather gloves.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I should mention that I think going to school is a very GOOD and IMPORTANT thing. I meant more the "Oh so steps 1-2 and maybe 3, so that means I have to do 4 and 5!"

No, it doesn't.

[b i o n i c]

no one under 50 should carry a briefcase.

there should be a rule that you're not allowed to buy most golf gear till you've actually played the sport for 10 years.

trench coats and galoshes are not for 20somethings.

mom jeans are grounds for divorce

[funk63]

Punk vs. preps.
WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ON??

[Nuzzolese]

I have a friend just like that! He graduated from college and now works at a corporate job and he's engaged to his high school girlfriend. They're planning a huge wedding and buying a house already! She's already talking about how they'll have a few children, although she almost complains about it as if it'll be some big chore. I think she wants to be a rich housewife more than anything. And he wants to be his dad.

They both seem so childish to me, still. And they seem like they're just playing grown-up. They both laughingly complain about it, though. They joke about how life will be so rough, they'll be in debt and get fat and unhappy. I can't tell if it's something they really want - and they just complain to be polite so they don't make people sick with their hope and happiness - or if deep down they are scared that they're rushing into things.

I can't see that there's anything wrong with someone who wants to live responsibly, who has idolized the classic lifestyle model, who is excited about being settled and old fashioned. I just doubt the sincerity of it in some people. But I'm sure it has got to be sincere with a few people out there, right?

[Adam]

I normally sign my letters yours faithfully. I'm not sure when you're supposed to use sincerely. I get the meanings but the etiquette is confusing for me. I'm not ashamed tho. Maybe I should sign them yours us-ashamedly.

[Nuzzolese]

faithfully?? That sounds dishonest. Are you pledging to be theirs fauthfully? At least with sincerely, you are saying that you stand by the words in the letter. You are sincere, but you may not always be around. Fuck you for changing the subject!

[Adam]

ok, to get back on subject. Maybe its cus I still have faith because of my young point of view. I don't have the life experience to sincere in all my actions yet.

[fucktopgirl]

anarchy, that me! conformity is for pussy! I am and will always be against the grain! Oh yeaaaaa!!

[Drederick Tatum]

looking back I suppose I've kind of gone out of my way to avoid the 5 step plan. Berlin is a great place to avoid maturing and whatever responsibilities/obligations it brings.

[Dorothy Wood]

^ha ha!

edit: @ fucktopgirl's exuberance.


hrm, I pretty much only know people who act like kids. even the married ones. we've all moved past the living in piles of empty beer cans stage, but I know very few people who own their own property. that has a lot to do with most of my good friends living in chicago, NYC, and L.A. though. too expensive! even for the ones making decent money.

I think sometimes people are afraid of not fitting in, or succeeding in a way that can't be measured. brands and labels and bank statements make people feel more comfortable and normal. safe.

not to say that my goofiness or artiness or hipsterness or whatever isn't rooted somewhat in fear and laziness. beyond that, I guess I've just always bucked against the mainstream. even when I was a sprout. I always wanted to be different and I loved "weird" things, much to the dismay of my mother (who still wonders why I can't just be "normal"). even though the fact of the matter is, my mom chased the "normal" life for years and years and it led to some really bad decisions and much unhappiness. she's starting to come around a little though. she likes that I wear skinny jeans. she's still traumatized by my baggy pants-wearing in the 90's.

sorry, I always flip things to a story about me and/or my mom. bleh.