i just don't care so i guess that makes me an asshole

[TurdBerglar]

there's just so many things that never cross my mind. things that i don't expect from people that other people seem to naturally expect from others. things that manifest into behaviors that people deem as assholish.

people care so much about being wanted and respected. i've never felt that way. i've never really needed that. sure i like being wanted and respected but it's not needed at all like so many other people seem to think. since i feel that way i never consciously give out those showings of want and respect and admiration to other people. if it happens it happens... this really offends people. they seem to want extra effort to show your admiration for them. and if you don't respond strongly enough to their extra effort that seems to be even worse. i just don't get what the big deal is.

when people try to go out of their way to show their like for me, it feels very patronizing to me and fake. like their trying to in-debt me into returning it. i'm all like... no shit you like me. you don't need to go out of your way to do this extra shit. i'm not a fucking baby. weirdo. then i realize most people thrive off that extra shit. why?

there always seems to be a few people in my life that are always trying to figure out why i hate them. i don't hate them. i just don't care about them. i begin to hate them when they keep pestering me. trying to figure out why i hate them. they mean nothing to me. is that wrong? is it wrong to flat out not care about someone? since i don't care about them i just naturally treat them that way. i'm not mean and malicious toward them. i'm just so very blatantly neutral toward them. this neutrality toward them seems to be upsetting. like they would rather be hated instead with an explanation. i don't get this.

why do people care so much about extra stuff that really doesn't change anything? why don't i care about this extra stuff?

i've always been so aloof my whole life. it really upsets people.

fuck i can't sleep

[paul jones]

I heard a Cab Calloway track on the radio last night at work.It was the follow up to Minnie The Moocher called 'Zazoozazoozaz 'or something

(y)

[Dorothy Wood]

I think maybe working in retail fuels this kind of stuff. in dealing with the public, I care so little and feel like so many people are worthless dumb asses, that it affects how I see the world.

I'm also pretty sure that I'm smarter than mostly everyone.

on politeness and reciprocity:
when I was around 19, my mom would get really angry with me for always forgetting to send thank you notes. and I rationalized that I don't expect thank you notes because I give people gifts for the sake of giving them. I don't need extra recognition. I just thought it was stupid. she called it being polite. but really I think expecting a thank you note is kinda rude. because I don't think that so-and-so got me a present because they really liked me and wanted to give me something I liked, they got me a completely pointless and thoughtless present because they thought they had to or should because it was my birthday/christmas/graduation

it's all just social constructs so that people don't feel bad about themselves. but that's so annoying. people depend on each other too much for happiness and fulfillment via superficial means.


there's so much more to life than sucking up to each other. it's when you're trying the least that you connect with people the most.

[paul jones]

I care so little and feel like so many people are worthless dumb asses, that it affects how I see the world.



.

The dumbest people who make me want to throw eggs at them are the fuckers who don't indicate in their shitty expensive cars.I need a special egg projectile homing missile/egg thing to be invented so that when I have to stop at junctions for no reason other than I didn't know what way the stupid pricks were going, I could blast them with the wrath of all khan of eggness on their stupid windscreens . These people are the worst

[Audio.]

potato launcher?

[paul jones]

potato launcher?

yeah.It would have to be facing backwards on top of the car with a handle that I could reach for.If I could fire a dozen eggs at a time and with luck I may hit the target but it would be difficult.

[ms.peachy]

i've always been so aloof my whole life. it really upsets people.


Is it possible that you may have some degree of autism? I mean that seriously, not as a put-down or anything. I have read cases before of people, mainly men, who describe feeling the way you do - or, as the case may be, NOT-feeling - and who have been diagnosed as having Aspergers. "Normal" people, just emotionally unconnected, like certain empathetic wiring isn't joined up the way it is in most people.

[Bob]

Is it possible that you may have some degree of autism? I mean that seriously, not as a put-down or anything. I have read cases before of people, mainly men, who describe feeling the way you do - or, as the case may be, NOT-feeling - and who have been diagnosed as having Aspergers. "Normal" people, just emotionally unconnected, like certain empathetic wiring isn't joined up the way it is in most people.

no offense but that's a bold diagnosis, don't you think?

[ms.peachy]

I didn't say "Oh you are autistic." What I said is "These characteristics you are describing remind me of similar situations of which I have heard wherein it has been found that the adult person has had Aspergers that had previously gone undiagnosed." For the purpose of, maybe that is something he might wish to consider, and possibly research further, to see if it is applicable to his own situation, should he so desire.

Crikey Bob, for a lawyer I'd have expected you to notice the difference!

[kaiser soze]

Is it possible that you may have some degree of autism? I mean that seriously, not as a put-down or anything. I have read cases before of people, mainly men, who describe feeling the way you do - or, as the case may be, NOT-feeling - and who have been diagnosed as having Aspergers. "Normal" people, just emotionally unconnected, like certain empathetic wiring isn't joined up the way it is in most people.

I have a feeling that my girlfriend's older brother has this - he has yet to really acknowledge his new nephew, the only thing he has done is wave at him from a distance.

[Freebasser]

Too many words.

[TurdBerglar]

Is it possible that you may have some degree of autism? I mean that seriously, not as a put-down or anything. I have read cases before of people, mainly men, who describe feeling the way you do - or, as the case may be, NOT-feeling - and who have been diagnosed as having Aspergers. "Normal" people, just emotionally unconnected, like certain empathetic wiring isn't joined up the way it is in most people.

other people have said this aswell. i emotionally connect. just not nearly as much. i seem to reserve it a whole lot more for only the actually people that matter to me. i always see how people show their emotions for one another as fake most of the time. they're just going out of their way playing nice for the sake of politeness. that to me is not polite. that's extremely rude. and to need that fake politeness is rather pathetic.

[TurdBerglar]

I have a feeling that my girlfriend's older brother has this - he has yet to really acknowledge his new nephew, the only thing he has done is wave at him from a distance.

that's something i would do. young babies are incedibly hideous to me and i have no interest in them whatsoever. and i don't see why that would bother someone. it's no big deal. it has no effect on anything.

[funk63]

I didn't care enough to read all that shit so I guess that makes me an asshole too, or just lazy.

[paul jones]

What a boring day.I think I'll go for a drive like Rocky in Rocky 4.Top Gun is on TV but I'm not going to watch that shit.

[Bob]

What a boring day.I think I'll go for a drive like Rocky in Rocky 4.Top Gun is on TV but I'm not going to watch that shit.

just make sure you reminisce about things that have happened in previous episodes of your life while you do it

[na§tee]

there's too much shit in here to read


sorry
that's what you would say if another person wrote that.

i've never seen you say a positive thing about anyone or anything, ever. and i've been here 10+ years. so yes, maybe it does make you an asshole. but you go so far to accentuate the fact you're a badass* who doesn't care, so who cares, right? *witness your reply. nah, you're just a prick.

why do people care so much about extra stuff that really doesn't change anything? 'extra stuff' being something of substance?

do you care about anything? serious question, i'm not being an asshole here. i'm sure you do, but i guess if you can answer that and then maybe ask yourself why do you care about that 'extra stuff' which doesn't 'change anything' and here you have your answer.

[paul jones]

just make sure you reminisce about things that have happened in previous episodes of your life while you do it

I did and I made sure I didn't smile the whole time(y)

[TurdBerglar]

yeah im such a badass :cool:

[TurdBerglar]

yeah im such a prick :cool:

[A. Chimendez]

There aren't enough nice people in the world, and some people just want to spread the "extra stuff" because they are genuine nice people.

If you're that cynical and jaded that you think that anybody who is nice to you ever is being "fake" and its rude, you have serious social issues that need to be resolved or you're going to be alone the rest of your life.

And the reason you probably feel this way is because you don't ever feel the need to go out of your way to be nice so why bother right?
Idiot.

[TurdBerglar]

that extra stuff isn't genuine....

[DIGI]

TurdBerglar has Ass Burgers.

Oh, that's rich.

I think it's funny that in you first post, you're all "I don't give a shit about dick," then Peachy brings up Autism and all of the sudden you're "Wait, yeah, I care about shit."

I'll put a magnetic ribbon on my car for you.

[TurdBerglar]

what

[Yetra Flam]

you're the scum of the earth

[TurdBerglar]

atleast im not susan

[Yetra Flam]

are you sure?

[TurdBerglar]

yeah

im only scum. that's not nearly as bad as susan. susan is the shit that scum gets under its toenails.

[TurdBerglar]

if scum had toenails...

[ms.peachy]

other people have said this aswell. i emotionally connect. just not nearly as much. i seem to reserve it a whole lot more for only the actually people that matter to me. i always see how people show their emotions for one another as fake most of the time. they're just going out of their way playing nice for the sake of politeness. that to me is not polite. that's extremely rude. and to need that fake politeness is rather pathetic.


I think, though, that what you are describing is a situation in which you can connect and feel for things that directly affect you, but an inability (or at least, diminished ability) to understand why people would care about things that you can't relate to. And it's that component that is a hallmark of autism - not that a person doesn't feel things, but that they have difficulty understanding why others feel the way they do, and so interpret the emotions of others as being insincere or 'fake'. In other words, it is not real to you subjectively, so you interpret it as not real objectively.

I'm sorry if I'm not explaining that very well. And again, I am not advocating that "you are this way", only saying that from the things you are describing, this is consistent with what I know (which is admittedly a limited amount) about some forms of autism.

[TurdBerglar]

basically what i do that pisses people off is that i don't show that i like them as much as they wish i would. and the reason why i don't do it is that it's not really as important to me if im liked or not so those showins of friendship never cross my mind. being liked just seems to be much more important to other people than it is to me.

for example: i don't greet people as warmly as people greet me. i don't say hi to someone if they're too far away. im all like... fuck it, they're way over there. i'll say hi when we cross paths later. people just seem to think that im uninterested in them. maybe i am. maybe im not interested in people to the same degree as most people are. if someone doesn't say hi to me, i don't even notice when most people get a little hurt.

[checkyourprez]

^i dont find anything wrong with what your saying.

im a bit like that.

im good at reading people, and i can usually pick out an honestly good person and then those fakes.

people who are generally nice and mean well i give them my respect because they arent doing something to get anything out of it.


but on the other hand there are many people that act nice just to get something in the end, and i hate that. im not going to be in your pocket because you think i should be.

[TurdBerglar]

that's how i feel. i feel most people do those nice things(the extra shit) because they expect it in return. like they're indebting you to be nice to them in return to satisfy this need to have others seeing people being nice to them so they don't look like "unwanted losers".

[Dorothy Wood]

not to bring this around back to me, but I have also been accused of having "autistic tendencies" because I don't seek out or change my behavior to suit the needs of others around me.

I think that turd is probably really smart and he only cares about things that are practical. being polite is not always practical.

and I will say there's a difference between being polite and being considerate. if you live your life in a way that does not physically or practically impede others' lives, you are still being considerate. and I believe that consideration is more important than politeness.

it really comes down to honesty and being genuine. if you don't like someone or you don't care about them, what does it matter if you provide emotional validation for them? it's on them if they take it personally. unless you're directly insulting them or purposely trying to hurt them, a lack of interest should have no ill effect unless the person you're not interested in bases their self worth on how others treat them.

[DIGI]

Didn't you have a soul patch?

See? That's "extra stuff."

[TurdBerglar]

what

[TurdBerglar]

and I will say there's a difference between being polite and being considerate. if you live your life in a way that does not physically or practically impede others' lives, you are still being considerate. and I believe that consideration is more important than politeness.

this is what im all about. i do whatever i can to stay out of peoples way. to makes things as hassle free for everyone as i possibly can. people just don't notice that as much because it's never directly strictly towards them. people always want/expect/need sepcificly done things done exclusivly for them. i find that self centered, greedy, and pathetic.

it really comes down to honesty and being genuine. if you don't like someone or you don't care about them, what does it matter if you provide emotional validation for them? it's on them if they take it personally. unless you're directly insulting them or purposely trying to hurt them, a lack of interest should have no ill effect unless the person you're not interested in bases their self worth on how others treat them.

exactly. couldn't say it any better.

to base your self worth on how others treat you is just, again, pathetic.

[Knuckles]

I don't seek out or change my behavior to suit the needs of others around me.

Even if your behavior is affecting those around you in a negative way?

[TurdBerglar]

i don't think she ment it in that regard

[Knuckles]

to base your self worth on how others treat you is just, again, pathetic.

If that's solely what you base your self worth on I understand your point.

That being said, as humans we are social animals. Being accepted and treated well by others is something nearly all of us strive for. If I genuinely tried to be nice to someone and they completely shut me out I would be a little confused by it. It's not "normal" social behavior to be aloof to someone who is making an effort to be kind. I always try to return the favor when someone is being nice to me even when their personality doesn't exactly mesh with mine. I'm certain I'm a much happier person for doing so.

I love you Turd. :)

[TurdBerglar]

If I genuinely tried to be nice to someone and they completely shut me out I would be a little confused by it.

why?

[Knuckles]

why?

I guess it's because I live by "treat others as you would like to be treated".

I'm not saying I would go home and cry about it. I would just be a little confused as to why the kindness wasn't returned.

[Dorothy Wood]

Even if your behavior is affecting those around you in a negative way?

I don't know, I don't think I affect people in a negative way very often. sometimes my mom gets upset with me, and I hurt her feelings with my bluntness on occasion. but even she sees my point of view and can understand it. because she also understands that she is extremely co-dependent.

people are different, not everybody has to be friendly all the time. my roommates are constantly on the phone and constantly talking, and I just don't require that intense of human interaction. I'm not saying they're fake, they're lovely girls, but sometimes I don't want to talk to them so I just go in my room. the one who's been my friend for a long time just knows that's how I am and doesn't take it personally. the other one perhaps takes it personally, but I don't really care. ha.


In my opinion, I've set my life up so that most of the people I interact with, I actually like. I'm not mean to people I don't like, I just don't go out of my way to be nice to them.

[TurdBerglar]

I guess it's because I live by "treat others as you would like to be treated".

oh

i do too

[Knuckles]

oh

i do too

HA! That's a good point. (y)

[Knuckles]

In my opinion, I've set my life up so that most of the people I interact with, I actually like. I'm not mean to people I don't like, I just don't go out of my way to be nice to them.

I can appreciate that. (y)

I suppose I might seem a little over-friendly to some but the fact is I genuinely like most everyone I meet. Sure there's an occasional person that I just can't tolerate (usually people with real hate in their hearts) but for the most part I always find the good qualities in people.

[Belt Parkway]

that's something i would do. young babies are incedibly hideous to me and i have no interest in them whatsoever. and i don't see why that would bother someone. it's no big deal. it has no effect on anything.
I think it would bother someone if you thought their baby was hideous. If you can't see that, then you obviously have some sort of social dysfunction.

[b i o n i c]

i dont get why people say hi to eachother. i mean, its like, i see you motherfucker! what, are you blindddd? you see me. we're here. what's all this hi bullshit? we made eye contact, thats enough acknowledgement for a day

[Adam]

First time reading this thread and I thought maybe DW and Turd are robots. But then I thought of the three laws and through reading their posts they are probably not robots as I'm sure they've broken one of the three laws at some point. So now I assume they are robots and they have broken their programming to think they are human and they don't know it.

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.


Have either of you ever dreamt of electric sheep?

[TurdBerglar]

the rest of you shitheads are the robots...


just doing things because people say so

[TurdBerglar]

I think it would bother someone if you thought their baby was hideous. If you can't see that, then you obviously have some sort of social dysfunction.

why do they care how i think about babies. it's not of their concern. and it's not just THEIR baby. it's EVERY baby.

babies look like premature underdeveloped shaved apes. and that's pretty much what they are...

[Belt Parkway]

why do they care how i think about babies. it's not of their concern. and it's not just THEIR baby. it's EVERY baby.

babies look like premature underdeveloped shaved apes. and that's pretty much what they are...
Because it's strange to have such a strong aversion toward babies. I could see having an ambivalent attitude toward them, but to call them hideous is a bit odd, IMHO.

[TurdBerglar]

you know how really young birds looks like shit? like baby parrots? then they grow up to be beautiful creatures? that's how i see babies.

[paul jones]

you know how really young birds looks like shit? like baby parrots? then they grow up to be beautiful creatures? that's how i see babies.

yeah but a lot of babies grow up to be Lady Ga Ga or Amy Winehouse.

It said in a newspaper today that Lady Ga Ga dyes her hair to avoid looking like Amy..........................................?!:ee k:

these celebrities are fucking freaks!(y)

[TurdBerglar]

lady gaga is nothing but a dirty guinea

her real name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta....

jesus christ

[Yetra Flam]

babies are pretty fucking gross. people kinda turn into shitheads once they have kids as well.
i'm sorry, i guess that makes me a bad person also.

[TurdBerglar]

so what turned you into a shithead?

[Nuzzolese]

Are you suggesting that you're not an asshole? Maybe you are, but what the hell do you care if other people think so?

[TurdBerglar]

im not saying im not an asshole. what im saying is that people are pussies for getting worked up over nothing. and what they're getting worked up over is stuff that has no effect on them. and that stuff is all the extra shit that doesn't really change anything or provide anything.

but i guess im the asshole for not being like them in their eyes.

[b i o n i c]

i probably wont get an answer, but is this about a girl?

[Nuzzolese]

And this bothers you because you don't want to be seen as an asshole or because you're disappointed in the fact that this appears to be how the world works?

[TurdBerglar]

it causes drama. and it's directed towards me. that's what i don't like. and yeah i see it as fairly superficial and shallow.

i don't give a fuck about being seen as an asshole. there's nothing wrong with being an "asshole" as long as you're not malicious. it's the fucking drama and irretation people cause because i don't care about them. like im required to care about them. fuck off you self centered full of yourself twat!

[Nuzzolese]

What is this drama? Can't you just ignore it? Are they putting gum on your chair?

[b i o n i c]

fuck off you self centered full of yourself twat!

this IS about a girl(y)

[TurdBerglar]

just not being very civil. causing uneeded irretation.

just go about your bussiness and shutup and leave me the fuck alone. stop trying to force me to talk to you. stop trying to force me to like you. and most importantly stop being a rude bitch to me because i don't follow through with your attempts to force me to talk to/like you. just because i like that person over there doesn't mean i have to like you.

it's just agrevating to have someone nagging you basically. nagging you to like them.

[TurdBerglar]

this IS about a girl(y)

not any particular girl. but girls do this more than guys. but i don't get along/respect most females to begin with...


this isn't about anyone in particular. male or female.

[b i o n i c]

ive dated girls casually and have gotten some form of this before. not quite what you're describing, but more the girl always wanted to do "nice things" for me. im totally not flexing with this because this girl was not all that, but this one chick started telling me she loved me a month after i met her. she showed up at my place with gifts all the time, which i would ask her to keep for the precise reason turd says, i dont need it, im not getting you anything in return, i dont want it. i really had to explain myself every time because she acted like she didnt know what i was talking about.

this one time she mustve spent a couple hundred dollars on clothes for me, (yes, she must've looked in my closet for sizes, freaky in itself that she knew), and just showed up with them. they were nice, and it was tempting, but i had to tell her to take them back, it was too much and i didnt want to owe her anything, i didnt feel right taking gifts from someone i didnt care all that much about and someone i had been clear with about my disinterest for a serious relationship

i feel like if i had done the same exact thing for a woman it would've been seen as sleezy or trying to buy the chick, but when she did it she got all offended that i wouldnt take it, she was doing it because she cared. funk dat.

[TurdBerglar]

my ideas of gift giving piss people off too. i don't care at all about my own birthday. and keep my birthday to myself in order to stay away from the whole gift giving shit.

people will be all like. HEY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY NEXY WEEK. and im all like....oh, ok? i don't see what the desire is for all that shit. and it really upsets people that i just don't give a fuck for their birthday or for even my own. it's just a fucking day. i don't need or expect or want special attention. and i feel those that do are emotionally weak and/or a little too sefl centered.

[Nuzzolese]

You are making other people miserable - for whatever superficial, stupid reasons of theirs - by not conforming to what they think are general rules of civil behavior. Then they make you miserable by not conforming to your ideas of general rules of civil behavior (which would be leaving you alone and not nagging you to like them.) Does this sound right? Do you think that they think you're actually secretly sad and lonely and that you want them to care about you but you're too closed off to show it?

Do you want anything at all from these people? I'm surprised that you don't want friendship from them and that they keep trying anyway. Most people get the hint and give up, I assumed. You must be some kind of supernaturally charming in a way that you can't control. I never see this kind of thing happening with other people I know. Maybe I'm just oblivious - wouldn't be the first time. Or perhaps you are unlucky enough to be surrounded by care bears.

[TurdBerglar]

they're doing actions to annoy me. im doing NOTHING to annoy them. im not putting engery into pissing them off. there's a difference there. while they're putting energy into being a nusance im just doing nothing. that's a huge difference.

beleive it or not. im very well liked. im not trying to sound arrogant. and i know all you guys here won't beleive that because of how i act here. but people like me and im very warm and friiendly and caring to those that i like. and other people see how i am with my friends and how my friends are with me and wonder why im not like that with them and i think it upsets them that i just don't flat out care about them while im laughing it up with my buddies.

some of the people that give me shit for not caring about them are always so shocked when they see me being social with my friends. and i think that hurts them because then they realise im not some shy quiet person/ anitsocial asshole. i just don't want to talk to them. that's why i quiet around them. i guess that takes a jab at their pride?

and they just can't accept that i guess?

you tell me what they might be thinking. because that's the only idea i can think of

i know it sounds like im full of myself. but that's all i can figure it as.

[Adam]

HEY, ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!

^True story.

As long as you got me a gift turd, I won't be disappointed in you.

gift turd

^that phrase makes me laugh.

[Nuzzolese]

I hate when a small group will try to manipulate a larger group into taking on some collective responsibility to improve the genral morale, but in their way - which usually involves burdening people with unspoken obligations that only breed quiet bitterness and resentment and totally do the opposite of what the originators intended. This leads me to think that the instigators of the shared activities just wanted to feel like they started something, or like they had some control, and they really didn't care at all about making other people happy.

Example:

At work, This girl decided that it would be fun to have everyone go out to lunch together on the last Friday of the month. But then it turned into this big deal where they would share mean comments or glances in reference to the people who chose not to go to lunch with everyone. It was supposed to be something fun but then it turned into something people were pressured to do, or else risk being ostracized. If you are paid by the hour, your lunch is your time. It's not fair to expect participation from people at work when they're not technically "at work."


Also, I was taking a class at a community college and it was kind of a small class. One day these girls brought in bagels and donuts, which was really nice. And yeah, I took a donut, why not, right? But then one of them said "Hey, let's all take turns bringing in snacks each week!" Pump the breaks! Thanks for the gift but I didn't know I was signing up for some kind of snack club! So then if you didn't ever volunteer to bring anything then you were a mooch. And if you didn't bring anything and didn't partake of anything then you were anti-social.

I think what bothered be most about those two situations was that those things people tried to implement were not in line with the reason we were there. People try to turn everything into a social function and I get that they're trying to make it fun, but social pressure isn't fun!

And then there was that time I was invited over to some girl's apartment for a little party with some other girls. When I was leaving I was informed that they get together each week and take turns hosting. I felt bad, after that, that I'd come to her house and eaten what she'd given me and drank a water and stuff when I knew I couldn't return the favor to everyone - and didn't really want to be obligated to do it either.

I might sound really cheap or selfish but I value the people I care about too much to allow myself to be spread thin worrying about social obligations to people I don't want to socialize with. Or I guess a better explanation would be that I only want to give in proportion to what I feel I get from other people. And I hate having specific expectations like "we take turns hosting each other" because it feels like a job then, and not something you do sincerely because you like these people.

Wow that was long. No one will read it.

[TurdBerglar]

i hate that fucking pressure crap. people do taht shit to force people into doing friendship things for them. so they can trick themselves that people like them.

[Adam]

I read it all Nuzz... I think from now on we should all read each others posts in full :p

Or, next time that happens Nuzz, take a book in the next week and sit quietly to read but then shout out half way through - WHY DON'T WE ALL BRING A BOOK IN NEXT WEEK AND READ...

[Yetra Flam]

I hate when a small group will try to manipulate a larger group into taking on some collective responsibility to improve the genral morale, but in their way - which usually involves burdening people with unspoken obligations that only breed quiet bitterness and resentment and totally do the opposite of what the originators intended. This leads me to think that the instigators of the shared activities just wanted to feel like they started something, or like they had some control, and they really didn't care at all about making other people happy.

Example:

At work, This girl decided that it would be fun to have everyone go out to lunch together on the last Friday of the month. But then it turned into this big deal where they would share mean comments or glances in reference to the people who chose not to go to lunch with everyone. It was supposed to be something fun but then it turned into something people were pressured to do, or else risk being ostracized. If you are paid by the hour, your lunch is your time. It's not fair to expect participation from people at work when they're not technically "at work."


Also, I was taking a class at a community college and it was kind of a small class. One day these girls brought in bagels and donuts, which was really nice. And yeah, I took a donut, why not, right? But then one of them said "Hey, let's all take turns bringing in snacks each week!" Pump the breaks! Thanks for the gift but I didn't know I was signing up for some kind of snack club! So then if you didn't ever volunteer to bring anything then you were a mooch. And if you didn't bring anything and didn't partake of anything then you were anti-social.

I think what bothered be most about those two situations was that those things people tried to implement were not in line with the reason we were there. People try to turn everything into a social function and I get that they're trying to make it fun, but social pressure isn't fun!

And then there was that time I was invited over to some girl's apartment for a little party with some other girls. When I was leaving I was informed that they get together each week and take turns hosting. I felt bad, after that, that I'd come to her house and eaten what she'd given me and drank a water and stuff when I knew I couldn't return the favor to everyone - and didn't really want to be obligated to do it either.

I might sound really cheap or selfish but I value the people I care about too much to allow myself to be spread thin worrying about social obligations to people I don't want to socialize with. Or I guess a better explanation would be that I only want to give in proportion to what I feel I get from other people. And I hate having specific expectations like "we take turns hosting each other" because it feels like a job then, and not something you do sincerely because you like these people.

Wow that was long. No one will read it.

i read it all. you're right.

[b i o n i c]

the birthday thing

i used to work in THE office. it was literally office space. and fucking birthdays were what the whole fucking place lived for. it was ridiculous and it went on for years. we had a lot of people so it was someone's fucking birthday every week, and we had the dumb fucking conference room surprise shit every goddamned week.

the whole nine where everyone had to pass around the card, like it was the second grade, without whoeverthehells birthday it was knowing. i mean, its all nice and all once in a while i guess, but this was ridiculous. and i swear the birthday budget was about $800 a month (like $10,000 a year!) because i got stuck doing the payments. fucking disgusting actually when you think about all the three quarters uneaten $75 cakes and the shittons of thrown away flowers, and the craploads of half drunk alcoholssss

this was done for employee loyalty or some shit. i took off on my birthday wanting to skip the shit and i got the same surprise thing when i came in, and it was lame. i coulda totally used the $100-200 bucks, fuckin shitheads

sorry... yeah

[Nuzzolese]

the birthday thing

i used to work in THE office. it was literally office space. and fucking birthdays were what the whole fucking place lived for. it was ridiculous and it went on for years. we had a lot of people so it was someone's fucking birthday every week, and we had the dumb fucking conference room surprise shit every goddamned week.

the whole nine where everyone had to pass around the card, like it was the second grade, without whoeverthehells birthday it was knowing. i mean, its all nice and all once in a while i guess, but this was ridiculous. and i swear the birthday budget was about $800 a month (like $10,000 a year!) because i got stuck doing the payments. fucking disgusting actually when you think about all the three quarters uneaten $75 cakes and the shittons of thrown away flowers, and the craploads of half drunk alcoholssss

this was done for employee loyalty or some shit. i took off on my birthday wanting to skip the shit and i got the same surprise thing when i came in, and it was lame. i coulda totally used the $100-200 bucks, fuckin shitheads

sorry... yeah


One place I worked threw a woman there a bridal shower. Nuts! I think when it comes to work and school, this kind of social pressure is more than annoying, It's way out of line for just the reasons you listed; the money that is spent on it, the time away from productive work, and the way it can make people feel - pressured to socialize or be the center of attention for something other than the work they do.

I'm pretty lazy and I like free food, so I enjoy an excuse to stop working and eat free snacks. I should have stronger principles and refuse to participate.

[b i o n i c]

well, of course i put on a good face and the whole shit, but, yes, thinking about the money and time spent... its all really quottt dumb. id seriously prefer an email and some nice personal one sentence message, whatever - something genuine

but getting back to not caring, i guess if im gonna recieve something from someone i dont care about, i think theyd be much smarter and more effective to go the simple, thoughful route rather than trying to to be extremely awesome

[Adam]

I've worked at Officespace to - several times actually, all offices are like that I think.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Also, I was taking a class at a community college and it was kind of a small class. One day these girls brought in bagels and donuts, which was really nice. And yeah, I took a donut, why not, right? But then one of them said "Hey, let's all take turns bringing in snacks each week!" Pump the breaks! Thanks for the gift but I didn't know I was signing up for some kind of snack club! So then if you didn't ever volunteer to bring anything then you were a mooch. And if you didn't bring anything and didn't partake of anything then you were anti-social.

I completely understand that one because it happens to me a lot.

Mostly I don't want to take part because I am freakin poor. Not under the poverty line but I'm not making enough to always do things like that either. If I'm going to do something like that, it's for a small group of people I am very close to and for special occasions. But then as you said, if I don't take part I'm anti-social and if I do but don't bring anything...

It is quite annoying.