Chasing Amy half way across the world (IRL)

[Adam]

So I have this kinda situation where I am at a crossroads in life that reminds me of the film Chasing Amy - I'm sure most know it but the sub plot is you could be given one chance to find true love and then your own hang ups and life situation will probably fuck it up anyway and you'll forever be thinking 'd'oh'.

I've made other threads about this and I'm concerned I'll make too many on the same subject so if you feel that, please ignore this one and I'll take the hint.

So, I'm in what we've classified as an 'open relationship' until we know what we want to do. I can honestly say I am crazy in love with a girl I met via BBMB in 2001 but lost touch and I have to say she has never been that far out of my mind, we hooked up again this past month (I landed back in the UK yesterday). Kinda feels like a 2nd chance at something I've only felt with her and she feels the same.

We've talked about hypothetical situations of being together which basically boils down to me, moving over to the USA and marrying her. It'd be the biggest fucking step I'd ever take in life and it doesn't scare the shit out of me like 'the M word' has in every other relationship I've ever had.

Maybe in 5 years or so time, she could move to the UK but it'd still mean her giving up more than I would have to moving over there.

The hypothetical situation would probably be executed in a year or so time after making a few more visits to the US. So being in my shoes, what would you do?

*disclaimer; some or no influence on my final decision may or may not be taken from this thread. It is just to take a cross section of opinions from a worldwide community of varying life experiences.

[TAL]

So she's a lesbian?

[Adam]

So she's a lesbian?

If you remember the film, Amy wasn't a lesbian cus was Bob's old flame. The other chick (whose name escapes me) was. But having said that; yes, the girl I speak of has been known to bat for both sides. Probably why she likes me cus I know I act like a pussy sometimes...

edit: there is more parallels with the film than I have mentioned also... Apart from the obvious nationality difference, its fair to say we come from different cultures and she has had more life experience already than I will probably ever have, but that kinda doesn't bother me. I mean more that doing this would mean rocking my whole world

[Fern]

do it.

[Audio.]

bbmbers date other bbmbers? They can do that?

[Adam]

bbmbers date other bbmbers? They can do that?

I'm sure there is at least 2 marriages via the BBMB. I forget who cus I disappeared from here for about 4 years with maybe visiting about twice so its not uncommon. And I was reading some green-card forums etc and its not that uncommon at all.

But having said that, I wouldn't do it again. I was kinda naive back in 2001 (like most who are 21) and it was just the excitement of it all that made me go but now I am a little older and wiser and know that some people are just not good people...

[hitmonlee]

i voted for the first option, but then again i havent seen chasing amy.

- what is really keeping you where you are? nothing? can you come back? yeah?

[Adam]

- what is really keeping you where you are? nothing? can you come back? yeah?

Well I have no job but I also have no money. My sister is having another major operation soon. Its not that simple to just walk into the USA and get a job. As a buffer I need at least three months money living in case visas take a long time. It'd be also sensible to have a plan B with money to in case of emergency. It'd also mean getting married and its a step that I need to consider more. Plus I'd need storage in the UK which costs money or I'd need to sell a lot stuff and if it all goes wrong I come back to nothing. Or I'd need to ship it over which'd cost to.

Yes I can come back.

[Kid Presentable]

I can't use the poll cause I'm a fuckhead, but I bet everything on love once.

[yeahwho]

Ms Peachy is married and in China

[peterclamp]

You have no job, no money.
You have a boring ass job now, and are probably bored when you are not working.
If you love this girl...still...then what the fuck are you still hanging around for!?
Damn it man, chase those dreams, if it goes wrong then hey its a learning experience and yep, you can come back.

Whatever you do, do not go through life living with regret and thinking of the what-ifs because you were too much of a pussy at the time!

Now, all I have to do is follow my own advice :D

good luck chap!

[yeahwho]

Isn't that from a movie? I think that's from Taxi Driver, isn't that what Sport told Travis?