Crushes on married men, crushes in general

[Nuzzolese]

I always develop a crush on a married guy. Why? I suppose it doesn't really matter whether he's married or not, since I'm in a relationship it's wrong either way. Maybe it's only because more and more good-looking men around my age are married than they used to be in previous years. Anyway, if you're in a relationship, married or not, it's wrong to have a crush on someone else! And it's wrong to have a crush on someone who's married!

It's just that some people are so charming, and when they come into a room, the temperature of the air changes. I can't help my body's reaction to them.

It's stupid. Fight it!

[ms.peachy]

I don't know that crushes are wrong, per se. Acting on them is, but I think lots of married people have kind of low-level crushes on other people all the time. I'm pretty sure mr.p has a crush on this woman Jane he works with. Obviously if someone has, like, an all-consuming crush and it interferes with their actual relationship then that's a problem, but a little "Oh, if only" daydreamy kind of crush ain't such a bad thing.

[Nuzzolese]

It feels bad, especially if I have a dream about them. It's not like this is a celebrity whom I'll never have a chance of meeting. The close proximity of them, however unlikely it is that the feeling would be mutual, makes the whole thing more threatening.

Peachy have YOU ever had a crush on someone while you were married?

[Fern]

just fuck him. get it out of your system and give him something to talk about with his buddies about while playing cards.... unless your fat, then you deserve nothing.... just be happy that you get fucked as some dudes last resort :cool:

[ms.peachy]

It feels bad, especially if I have a dream about them. It's not like this is a celebrity whom I'll never have a chance of meeting. The close proximity of them, however unlikely it is that the feeling would be mutual, makes the whole thing more threatening.

Peachy have YOU ever had a crush on someone while you were married?

Probably. I can't think of anyone offhand - see, these things, they come and they go, you know? There was a guy I worked with I was very attracted to back before I was married, but when I was already living with mr.p-to-be. And I do believe the feeling was mutual, but he was also involved with someone else. But you know, sometimes you just have to be a boring, responsible grown-up about things and say "ah yes, well, the hot monkey sex would be lovely I'm sure, but there are all these other people who could get very hurt, so best we don't."

[paul jones]

It's perfectly natural to look at someone you wouldn't mind fucking .The trick is to keep it to oneself in awkward situations like at a funeral or something

[b i o n i c]

any other tips you learned by trial and error?

[ms.peachy]

Oh wait, I totally forgot, I had a wicked crush on this guy named Paul Jones. I don't think he ever even noticed me, though.

[paul jones]

any other tips you learned by trial and error?

never buy white boxer shorts.It's 'asking' for trouble(y)

[paul jones]

Oh wait, I totally forgot, I had a wicked crush on this guy named Paul Jones. I don't think he ever even noticed me, though.

ahahaha!;)(y)

[Nuzzolese]

just fuck him. get it out of your system and give him something to talk about with his buddies about while playing cards.... unless your fat, then you deserve nothing.... just be happy that you get fucked as some dudes last resort :cool:


Fat people shouldn't even be allowed to live with the rest of us. They should be segregated into camps where they can work off the excess until they're ready to rejoin society.

[Nuzzolese]

I had a crush on Sam, who worked here but then moved. Now I have a crush on Matthew. I noticed something though, they're both super charming individuals who always smile and treat everyone like they love them. Maybe I'm not so fickle as much as they are just beyond charming. Who could NOT fall in love with them?! No people, that's who.

[Echewta]

I've never had a crush on a married man.

I wouldn't fool around with a married woman unless of course they have already broken up and they are just waiting for the paperwork and then you can think while you have her up against the wall "this is so wrong" when it actually isn't.

I think there is a difference with someone who has a boyfriend. Thats not ironclad.

[Nuzzolese]

I've never had a crush on a married man.

I wouldn't fool around with a married woman unless of course they have already broken up and they are just waiting for the paperwork and then you can think while you have her up against the wall "this is so wrong" when it actually isn't.

I think there is a difference with someone who has a boyfriend. Thats not ironclad.

I had a crush on an engaged guy who looked like Echewta. From the first day that I saw him I was smitten. I was single at the time and I used to dream, "If only things were different!" He was my friend and we used to hang out a lot, then I found out that while he and his fiancee had some troubles early on, this Echewta-guy went on a date with one of my coworkers. I was shocked. Why was I only his friend?! Why didn't he ask me out during his break from his fiancee? I went to his wedding with a gay guy as my date, and I drank too much. His wife is stunningly gorgeous and smart. Now they live and work in Washington DC. How cool is that?!

[Echewta]

I've never been to Washington D.C. so I'm not sure.

[Nuzzolese]

Oh, you should go sometime, It's really cool: Monuments, museums... AMERICA!

[Echewta]

Isn't it all hot and muggy and such? I'm from L.A. and we don't do hot and muggy really. Hot and smoggy, sure.

[Nuzzolese]

It is that way, in the summer. It's nice in the fall when the leaves turn, though.

[b i o n i c]

married people scare me

[Echewta]

Washington D.C. sounds like something I should do in the twilight of my years. The sun is still at high noon and I need more adventure than a giant Abe Lincoln and his chiseled wisdom.

[Nuzzolese]

It's on the bucket list, then.

[Echewta]

I'm sure McCain's daughter will be President by then.

I've added have an affair with a married woman to it as well.

[Nuzzolese]

Has anyone ever had an obvious crush, or lust-crush on you, whom you thought was really inappropriate, like a younger person or your friend's mother?

[Freebasser]

When I worked at an ice cream factory, a 40+ midget lady used to ask me questions for no reason. I later found out it was because she thought I had a sexy voice and it made her moist.

I still don't eat ice cream to this day.

[paul jones]

When I worked at an ice cream factory, a 40+ midget lady used to ask me questions for no reason. I later found out it was because she thought I had a sexy voice and it made her moist.

I still don't eat ice cream to this day.

I used to work with a middle aged midget lady too but it was Cliff Richard who made her moist

[cosmo105]

I agree with Ms. P. in that crushes can be harmless. You're going to be attracted to many people over your lifetime, and that's fine. Of course acting on it is violating the terms of a committed relationship, and that's different. But you can't help it if you get a little misty in the company of a man that smells like the sun setting on a canyon trail.

[DipDipDive]

Crushes are innocent which is what makes them fun. No sense fighting it, it's human nature. Resisting the urge to act on them is a different story, but I think if there's an urge at all, it's not a crush you're feeling. It's lust. That's another ballgame, baby.

[DipDipDive]

Oh, and as for developing crushes on married men, I don't think that's a coincidence. I think women find married men appealing because subconsciously, they are attracted to their ability to commit.

That being said, I've never had a crush on a married man.

[jabumbo]

all of the married guys i know/hang out with are probably only crushable because of there ability to commit.


which i find weird because they can't seem to commit to anything else....

[nodanaonlyzuul]

let me preface by mentioning that what I'm going to say isn't something I think applies to all, just my observation on my own situations so they are my thoughts on having a crush on someone else while in a serious relationship.

I got really lucky with my current boyfriend. He is everything I could possibly want. I haven't even had a slight crush on anyone else period since we've been together. No one can even compare so everyone else is nothing to me. Not even something as small as a crush.

In the past with other men I've dated, I always had a crush or ended up having a crush on someone else. And each of those men were definitely men I should have not been dating due to negative qualities I overlooked for some reason, or because they were good guys but not for me.

[Bob]

When I worked at an ice cream factory, a 40+ midget lady used to ask me questions for no reason. I later found out it was because she thought I had a sexy voice and it made her moist.

I still don't eat ice cream to this day.

you worked in an ice cream factory? i bet it's less fun than it sounds

[Nuzzolese]

I don't think that I crush on people because they're married. Usually I don't find out that they're committed until after I'm twitterpated.

What is a crush, anyway? Is it just a chemical reaction with pheromones and stuff? Is it some repressed longing for change? Is it only the sensation of excitement that feels so good, rather than the realistic idea of what it would be like to be with that person?

[paul jones]

you worked in an ice cream factory? i bet it's less fun than it sounds

He might have had to work Sundaes:(

[Adam]

They say that those in love and stuff give off a different smell, one that makes them more attractive to the opposite sex. And since women react more strongly to such pheromones (as you said above) maybe that is another reason why some married men are more attractive than single counterparts.

[Echewta]

I like to rub puppies on my neck before I go to bars. That smell seems to draw more woman towards me. Besides my fantastic wit of course.

[cosmo105]

I think maybe "crush" is too strong of a word for what I'm talking about, then. Maybe just "attraction." I definitely don't ponder at length what it would be like to be with someone else, because my thoughts always go back to my manfriend. If anything, it's a passing "oh my" and not something I take home with me.

[cosmo105]

He might have had to work Sundaes:(

Let's wait to hear the inside scoop from him before we cast judgement. We don't want to fudge this up with our own opinions, that's a sherbet.


:(

[Nuzzolese]

They say that those in love and stuff give off a different smell, one that makes them more attractive to the opposite sex. And since women react more strongly to such pheromones (as you said above) maybe that is another reason why some married men are more attractive than single counterparts.

But only the married people who are in love, which would explain my attraction to those men who had just gotten married, or were engaged and got married while I was crushing on them. Maybe being in love makes people seem happier, too, which is attractive.

[paul jones]

Let's wait to hear the inside scoop from him before we cast judgement. We don't want to fudge this up with our own opinions, that's a sherbet.


:(

We should be on stage in Vegas!:((y)

[Nuzzolese]

I think maybe "crush" is too strong of a word for what I'm talking about, then. Maybe just "attraction." I definitely don't ponder at length what it would be like to be with someone else, because my thoughts always go back to my manfriend. If anything, it's a passing "oh my" and not something I take home with me.

I don't ponder it at length on purpose. I think I stop myself from doing that. It's just the images that appear in my mind is all.

[Freebasser]

I missed an ice cream pun-athon?

I caramel believe it!

[cookiepuss]

Ummmmmmmm. It's not wrong to be in a relationship (married or otherwise) and have crushes on other people (married or otherwise.) you're not fucking dead, you've just made a commitment to someone.

Nobody and I mean fucking nobody wants to feel like their mate is the ONLY other person in the universe attracted to them. EVERYONE wants to think that various other people in life are also attracted to them. That's called ego and human nature.

I mean are we talking about a relationship/marriage here or are we talking about total ownership of another person?

Crushes on people other than your partner can be quite healthy. They can boost your confidence in ways that your mate might find very attractive. It might even inspire more intimacy between mates.

the only time a crush might be unhealthy when you're in a relationship with someone else is when you act upon it and begin an affair. But honestly for some people, mainly the polyamourous type, this is not necessarily an unhealthy thing either.

[paul jones]

Ummmmmmmm. It's not wrong to be in a relationship (married or otherwise) and have crushes on other people (married or otherwise.) you're not fucking dead, you've just made a commitment to someone.

Nobody and I mean fucking nobody wants to feel like their mate is the ONLY other person in the universe attracted to them. EVERYONE wants to think that various other people in life are also attracted to them. That's called ego and human nature.

I mean are we talking about a relationship/marriage here or are we talking about total ownership of another person?

Crushes on people other than your partner can be quite healthy. The can boost your confidence in ways that your mate might find very attractive. It might even inspire more intimacy between mates.

the only time a crush might be unhealthy is when you act upon it and begin an affair. But honestly for some people, mainly the polyamourous type, this is not necessarily an unhealthy thing either.

good words Sara!

now tell us what you would like from Freebasser's Ice Cream van

[cookiepuss]

two scoops of mint-chip please.;)

[Freebasser]

Sorry we only have three flavours of ice cream and those are egg, bacon and eggs and bacon.

[cookiepuss]

oh hell yeah. Bacon for the win!

[Dorothy Wood]

Has anyone ever had an obvious crush, or lust-crush on you, whom you thought was really inappropriate, like a younger person or your friend's mother?

this guy who works across the street from me at a korean restaurant has a crush on me I think. well, I'm pretty sure. whenever I get takeout from there, he only charges me 5 dollars when it should be around 10. he rings me up and goes, "uhh, just, 5, that's enough". and I'm always like, "uh, okay thanks".

the last time I went in there, he didn't ring me up, another dude did and when he saw me he came running over and yelled, "don't charge her! don't! wait, oh, I mean, she works across the street." but the guy had already rang me up so he was like, "okay, well, give her a free drink at least" all exasperated.

he doesn't give my male coworkers discounts. :cool:


wait, I guess maybe that isn't an inappropriate crush as he's about my age. I guess it's only inappropriate because I saw him play hackey sack in the alley once while wearing a backwards baseball cap.

[paul jones]

wait, I guess maybe that isn't an inappropriate crush as he's about my age. I guess it's only inappropriate because I saw him play hackey sack in the alley once while wearing a backwards baseball cap.

haha!(y)

[skra75]

I've found that women do generally seem to flirt more with me now that I'm in a committed relationship. I sometimes feel like I'm in an annoying, yet heartwarming, sitcom

[Adam]

you should get a monkey skra75