There's this little girl in my neighborhood

[hpdrifter]

...about 8 years old. She's growing up in seriously fucked up circumstances being raised by her grandma who seems to me to be kind of out of it most of the time for whatever reason. Her mother is around occasionally but the stories I've heard about her are really bad. She has a brother who is in foster care or something up in Alaska but he's younger I believe. I haven't seen the apartment she lives in but I've heard it's pretty bad, mattress in the middle of the room with some shirtless guy passed out on it. Not really any food, cans and bottles everywhere. She's kind of a strange child, though it's hard to describe how. She has no social skills at all, she's very pushy and rude but I don't think it's on purpose. I think she genuinely doesn't know any better. Sometimes I think she might be slightly developmentally delayed.

She used to come around my house a lot more often, I'm guessing she had just moved to the neighborhood. She'd want to come in, play with the bunnies, hang out. She never comes by anymore but now I see her paying with some kids that are more her age on the street.

Anyway, I feel like maybe I should have tried to get to know her a little better. Maybe tried to help her. Do you think it's too late? Do you think I should? How?

[b i o n i c]

thats a tough one.. maybe you kind find local resources for her to take advantage of and tell the grandma about them? like the boys and girls club or something like that? its hard to motivate someone like the lazy crazy grandma to do anything, the only way would be to present it as something that would take "the burden" off of her in some way? it sounds there isnt much will to do the right thing at home and that seems hard to get around.

im assuming you dont have a lot of time or money to devote to this? if you do there are other things you can do. id feel weird letting some strangers' kid in or around my house, but then again, you're a woman so people don't automatically think you're a pedophile.

[jabumbo]

look at you go! mom in training!


i don't know how much more you could really do? i mean, other than let her know she is still welcome to come and play?

[cubsfirstplace]

maybe she'll grow up to be a serial killer, like dexter.

[hpdrifter]

Well that's the thing, I feel extremely guilty because I was very put off by her pushiness and became irritated with her a lot of the time. Eventually I stopped letting her come in because she was so overbearing. And now I think I should have had more patience, should have tried to gently teach her the right way to ask for things. She's just a child, it's not her fault no one has cared enough to teach her proper manners.

I can't help but think that I can and should do more to help her but I'm afraid.

[MC Moot]

DO NOT deny your instincts…investigate,make a call…trust me,I'm in the field... (http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/geninfo/endharm.html)

[cubsfirstplace]

i don't think its too late. maybe buy her lunch one day and than try talking to her or something.
ignore mc moot's advice they'll probably just take her and put her in foster care which would most likely be worse for her.

[hpdrifter]

I think someone did try to call CPS once and I'm not entirely sure what came of it. I think what I'll do is keep an eye out for her and the next time I see her I'll be friendly, maybe try to learn a little more firsthand what's going on with her. Maybe I'll also try to talk to my neighbor again and find out what she knows (she had gotten a little more involved).

Then, if I feel like it's the best approach, I'll call the number in Moot's post.

[MC Moot]

ignore mc moot's advice they'll probably just take her and put her in foster care which would most likely be worse for her.

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about...a first home visitation by a child welfare agency rarely results in immediate apprehension...what it does however do is set a basis for what dictates acceptable standards of care and parenting practice...many times 1 intervention is all that's require because the guardian get's a "wake up call"...but a file is created and the home periodically revisited to insure maintainance...and if a child is immediately apprehended IT"S BECAUSE THEIR LIFE IS IN IMMEDIATE DANGER...ya twat...

[hpdrifter]

I think it was my neighbor who called CPS, I'll have to ask her what happened with it.

When you make a report is it anonymous?

[MC Moot]

I think it was my neighbor who called CPS, I'll have to ask her what happened with it.

When you make a report is it anonymous?

yes,they record your name and relation to the child,what you've observed and your concerns...however your personal information is never released and is only refered to in documentaion as "concerned party"...

[hpdrifter]

I seem to remember her telling me that whatever bureau it was that she called didn't do anything because she didn't have enough specific information (the mother or grandmother's name, the child's last name, etc). Though she had been in the child's apartment and what she saw is what I described below. I would think that would be enough to get someone to come out but in this case it didn't. I hope she's home tonight.

[ms.peachy]

I think your instinct is probably right. Make an effort when you see her to stop and talk to her, ask how she's doing, how is her summer going, etc. Invite her to come by and see the bunnies and maybe have a snack. Let her know that if she ever feels like she needs to talk to someone, you'll make some time to listen - that you might not be able to drop everything and do it straight away, but that you'll find time as soon as you can. Sounds to me like right now, there's not a lot you can go to CPS with, but if you listen when she talks to you, you'll know if you hear alarm bells, you know what I mean?