My Medical Condition Letter

[yeahwho]

Dear Ticket Dept.,

I want to come and see the San Diego Padres. I love the Padres! Go San Diego!

Because of my condition, I must walk with a portable shower over my head. My entire head area is kept in a vinyl enclosure with a shower constantly going on me. The top of my head must be kept wet at all times!

While the top of my head needs to be soaked, my face and neck are dry. They are kept dry with a portable dryer I have attached to my collarbone. This dryer is similar to the one in a men's room. While water drips on my face, a scoop under my neck drains the water and it filters through my pants. The vinyl enclosure is similar to a shower curtain. I can see the game this way.

Will this interfere with others? There is no wetness outside my plastic casing. Thus, no one else will get sprinkled. Only the top of my head will be drenched from my shower. I am sorry, but this is because of my medical condition.


Please write and let me know if the portable shower over my head will be okay for me to wear into the stadium. I may have to buy the seat in back of me also. I need to know how much room between rows. Thank you for your prompt reply as I MUST get my tickets soon.

Respectfully,

Ted L. Nancy
Portable Shower Wearer #121

Ted is a funny nut, ain't he?

[MC Moot]

I love those books...(y)

Dear MS. Ramey:

Thank you very much for answering my letter concerning the haunted sponge I bought from a Ralphs store. Ralphs has been and always will be the only store I shop in for my food and sponge needs.

In your letter to me you said that I would be hearing from the supplier of this songe. I have not heard from them. And this sponge is bad.

Can someone from Ralphs come and get this sponge from me? This sponge is out to get me. I am afraid.

After I got your letter I went down to my basement and locked that sponge in a steel box and put a chain around that box. Then I wrapped that box in tape and put a shackle around that. Then I boarded up the basement door with over 1000 nails. Then I put a manacle on that door. Then I went upstairs to my room to get a good nights sleep.

At about 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and looked down. That sponge was right by my bed. I am scared. Please help me.

Also, do you sell Brillo at your store?

When will I hear from the supplier? I need to know. Thank you for your reply.

Sincerely,

Ted L. Nancy

Have read this?: http://www.amazon.com/Lazlo-Letters-Don-Novello/dp/1563052857

(y)

[b i o n i c]

i have an autographed copy of lazlo letters, i like it alot. seinfeld did one too but its not as good