Would you say you are happy?

[Kid Presentable]

Balancing up the many things that have been, are happening, and may happen in your life, are you happy?

For a miserable shit, I think I am.

[Adam]

* <-- look for star for skip to end version

Considering in the last two years I've lost both parents - my sister a couple of days back had some major surgery after being ill for nearly 10 years but is recovering well. Things just ain't been right for a long time...

...I can weigh things up and have to say I am pretty happy right now. I used to let things drag me down for some of the pettiest shit - still do but these are small waves when I realise there is so much bigger things.

*yes.

[Kid Presentable]

Glad to hear it Adam. I remember your return wasn't under the best circumstances.

My life is far from perfect, but I think that anything I would change, I'm now in the headspace to change.

[ms.peachy]

Ish.

[Adam]

Glad to hear it Adam. I remember your return wasn't under the best circumstances...

thanks.

This might sound pretty gay (in the sarcasm/parody sense - not the homophobe sense) but coming back here I'm sure helped. Its an outlet, people here are good and supportive and has all mix of people from those that'll give you sympathy to those that'll call you a ball-licker and tell you to grow up.

[roosta]

Yup.

[Kid Presentable]

Ish.

China or family?

[Kid Presentable]

Yup.

You've never presented yourself as anything other than a positive sort of chap.

[ericlee]

I was once told that I have a perfect penis.

[Tzar]

not entirely. only because of my occupation. i need to move on from it but i'm not sure how or where i'm going to move on to. it scares me every now and then when i dwell on it.

besides that, i think i'm doing alright.

[ms.peachy]

China or family?

Neither really, mostly it's just me being my own worst enemy and not seeing the forest for the trees sometimes, getting bogged down in my own stupid crap. I really need to start working out again because I always feel better when I am getting regular exercise and at the moment I am feeling like a big lardy lump. But until my husband comes back I've got no one to help look after the kiddlywink so I can't get to the gym. But, this too shall pass and overall I have a good life, better than most of the rest of the people on this Earth when you take the long view of things, so I need to try to stay focused on that and get over myself.

[Helvete]

Not at all. Hate my life. Everything is pretty much as shit as it could be right now.

[ericlee]

Not at all. Hate my life. Everything is pretty much as shit as it could be right now.

how many more years do you have?

[Dorothy Wood]

Not at all. Hate my life. Everything is pretty much as shit as it could be right now.

I thought you was in love?




I am generally unhappy, but have moments of elation. it could be worse. way worse. these days I am deliberately pursuing happiness though, and am trying to be a more positive person in general.

[Bob]

not yet

[funk63]

no

[Helvete]

Shit happens, women are cunts, jobs are shit and nothing changes.

[b i o n i c]

generally yes. things and people get me down sometimes. i fall into little ruts sometimes. but when that happens i remind myself that my life is fairly privileged and that there arent many things ive wanted that i havent been able to have.

every day is a good day when you wake up in the mornin

[fucktopgirl]

Yes!!!

[ericlee]

Shit happens, women are cunts, jobs are shit and nothing changes.

how many more years do you have?

Are you going to re-up when your time is done?

[Randetica]

i dont think i could be much unhappier

[ericlee]

i dont think i could be much unhappier

pfft. Young, not horribly ugly, funny.

Oh yeah, you've got it reeeeaaaal rough.:rolleyes:

[Helvete]

Are you going to re-up when your time is done?

Yes, got about a year left. Going into MI soon enough so that should sort me right out. If it goes well I'll do a good few more years.

[Adam]

I can only talk from my experience, but if you are under 25 or so and unhappy then I think that is normal and life does get better. If you are older than that and not progressively getting happier then I have no clue what to say to you.

[kleptomaniac]

well, i'm definitely not unhappy...but my parents seem fairly certain that i'm depressed for some reason....they keep asking me "are you depressed? are you sure? i think you are." (this has been going on since i was like eleven or whatever, on and off) and sometimes i almost start to believe them! but i'm totally not depressed at all! really! i don't have anything to be depressed about. my life is good. :)

[Funky Pepp]

Although I do have the worst migraine ever at the moment, had a miscarriage some time ago and some suckers broke into my apartment, I am now very happy again! All in all, I don't want to change anything in my life. I have the best husband on earth for nearly 14 years now and still love him a lot, I just came back from a wonderful vacation on Jersey and, if there is some luck left for me, I will be a proud owner of a house soon. :)

@ Randetica: What's up with you and what can I do to cheer you up?

[Nuzzolese]

I can't imagine circumstances in which I would ever be generally happy. I almost wish my circumstances were worse because it would give me a good reason to be unhappy and my misery would be justified, making me feel better about things, and I'd probably be happier in a way. If some outside source of evil were forcing misery upon me, rather than misery bubbling up from inside myself, I could place the blame somewhere obvious and direct and it woud be easier to deal with.

[hpdrifter]

These days I'm more looking for balance and serenity.

[Randetica]

Although I do have the worst migraine ever at the moment, had a miscarriage some time ago and some suckers broke into my apartment, I am now very happy again! All in all, I don't want to change anything in my life. I have the best husband on earth for nearly 14 years now and still love him a lot, I just came back from a wonderful vacation on Jersey and, if there is some luck left for me, I will be a proud owner of a house soon. :)

@ Randetica: What's up with you and what can I do to cheer you up?

speaking about it just makes me feel more depressive and you can send me tons of your bakery, k thx!

[hpdrifter]

Also, there is a lot of unhappy in this thread. Some of it quite surprising.

Anyway, happiness is a choice. It's with you all the time waiting for you to invite it in.

[hpdrifter]

Haha, listen to me! I read one book about someone else's spiritual journey and I am smug smug smug!

It is clear I have a long way to go.

[Funky Pepp]

speaking about it just makes me feel more depressive and you can send me tons of your bakery, k thx!

I will! Or you just come round here and have a 24h-fresh-baked-goods-service :) I hope you will feel better soon!

[Nuzzolese]

I think people who are honestly happy because they simply choose to be, are actually just kind of dim.

Do you think a preoccupation with happiness is a cultural thing or a human thing? I suspect that previous generations, and other cultures, may not be as concerned about how happy they are. And if I'm right, I wonder if happiness is something you get when you're highly evolved, or if you can somehow evolve beyond happiness.
Whatever, dude!

[b i o n i c]

the quest for happiness is biological. sadness kills.

[jennyb]

I'm sad right now. This is like MJ news times a gabillion and two. :((n)

[Dorothy Wood]

music and laughter make me happy. I would laugh constantly if I could.

but I can't, so the times when I'm not laughing, I crave death.

[Bob]

I think people who are honestly happy because they simply choose to be, are actually just kind of dim.

Do you think a preoccupation with happiness is a cultural thing or a human thing? I suspect that previous generations, and other cultures, may not be as concerned about how happy they are. And if I'm right, I wonder if happiness is something you get when you're highly evolved, or if you can somehow evolve beyond happiness.
Whatever, dude!

happiness is something you get to worry about after food water and shelter are taken care of

[Guy Incognito]

I'm sad right now. This is like MJ news times a gabillion and two. :((n)

except michael jackson is dead and yauch isnt and is very positive about the whole thing and i think you need to chill a bit and not panic(y)

[b i o n i c]

what fundamental thing makes one temporarily happier than a meal and sleep? what makes one the opposite of happy more than hunger or nowhere to go?

depressed people are going against the whole point of life. thats why they often stop eating, taking care of themselves, being a part of society, and hurting other people. i might say they might possibly be the ones who are a little dim, but really its a little more complicated than that. struggle and finding a positive outlook are infinately more of a sign of intelligence than those who choose to wallow in their misery and accept it as a way of life. not that people's reasons for being sad are invalid.

and this says nothing about the ignorantly blissful, thats another thing.

the battle between happiness and sadness drive human existence

[Dorothy Wood]

what fundamental thing makes one temporarily happier than a meal and sleep? what makes one the opposite of happy more than hunger?



sex. getting stabbed.

[b i o n i c]

sex. getting stabbed.

if there are no other people or sharp objects around, you still need to eat and sleep. maybe if you had no hands. basic. maybe this is one reason why some depressed people eat or sleep too much.. pursuit of the easiest form of happiness around?

fundamental.

[Dorothy Wood]

so you're saying that physical needs are equal or the same as emotional needs?

because I will say, I don't really get happiness from sleeping. or eating really, unless I'm super hungry and the food is delicious.

[b i o n i c]

im not sure what you mean but, to me, escape is a way of trying to abandon sadness for any form of happiness available. if that makes any sense

drugs, food, sex, sleep, insanity

[jennyb]

except michael jackson is dead and yauch isnt and is very positive about the whole thing and i think you need to chill a bit and not panic(y)

sigh..... I know :) it's just that "C" word is crazy frightening! *thinks happy thoughts*

[Bob]

i wonder if people in darfur get depressed

[HEIRESS]

I've been spending alot of time swimming in lakes, so yes.

[b i o n i c]

i wonder if people in darfur get depressed

nah :rolleyes:

[hpdrifter]

Jenny, hopefully nothing to do with PaulB.

In my opinion trying to intellectualize happiness is it's antithesis. Either way, I'm still going for serenity and balance. Living in the now so to speak, not in the past, not in the future.

[Dorothy Wood]

im not sure what you mean but, to me, escape is a way of trying to abandon sadness for any form of happiness available. if that makes any sense


drugs, food, sex, sleep, insanity


I guess I mean that I don't think that satisfying physical needs equals happiness. we all eat and sleep, yet some of us are still depressed.

I don't know I guess being satisfied could be a form of happiness. I would call it contentment.

[Adam]

I would rather be a dim than unhappy (y)

Although today things have been a pain, nothing has gone right. But I am eating a very nice curry right now so that has helped but I am super full.

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm drinking tap water and eating goldfish crackers I pilfered from a coworker who is not here today.

I am not very happy about it.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I really need to start working out again because I always feel better when I am getting regular exercise and at the moment I am feeling like a big lardy lump. But until my husband comes back I've got no one to help look after the kiddlywink so I can't get to the gym.

How old is your child again? I cannot remember. Depending on the age going to play in a park can be exercise for you, too. I didn't realize how physical all that stuff actually is until my Mom had my little brother... playing on that stuff is basically a work out!

Otherwise, going for a long walk with a stroller works as well. Or maybe being goofy at home and dancing around to music together, or for the child to watch and be entertained :) haha. These are all small, but they are something.

Just a suggestion in case you have not considered it :) I totally understand the need to exercise to keep sane/balance/feeling good.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Oh, and on the topic itself:

*a star like Adam, so if you want to skip the meat of it go to the bottom :)

Almost two years ago I was the most depressed of my life to the point that I was a step away from turning myself in to a mental hospital to protect me from myself.

Before that happened, I was lucky enough to have a caring friend that also happened to have the ability to lend me a helping hand so I can get life back together again. This person also talked me through a lot of my issues, and brought to light what the problems were: toxic, cancerous people in my life that had to be shown for what they were, not what they were pretending to be. I had to cut them out of my life. I also had to work hard on family related things I won't get in to.

I still have a bad day here and there: days when the past is weighing on me, and I am reminded of how used and mistreated I was by people that were supposed to give a shit and/or that said they did but lied to me and used/manipulated my feelings for them. It fucking hurts sometimes, ya know? I guess I will always have a bad day or two from time to time. It happens.

But again, thanks to that friend, things changed. All I needed was that helping hand and the fresh perspective. I then fixed and built my life again on my own. I remind myself that I am working at getting to my goals, and although I get impatient sometimes and that leads me to start dwelling on the past shitty days... those are over. I'm not resting on my laurels, I am working at it. So I should be proud of that. And I am!

I also surrounded myself with genuine people. I have the most amazing friends in my life now, that also love and care for me. Not to mention the the best boyfriend in the entire planet, at least, from what I can tell. I hope others do too but in my experience, it is RARE. I got so incredibly lucky. I have it made.

So would I say I am happy?

*YES! :D

[Nuzzolese]

If happiness and sadness are due to chemical reactions - that is, physical occurrances taking place inside our bodies - then I don't think it's a stretch to assume that eating and sleeping and other physical exertions could affect what we genuinely think of as our feelings.

I disagree with what Bob said about happiness being a luxury that doesn't come into consideration until after basic needs are met. I think depression is found frequently in people who are in horrible situations, in war. I'm not assuming this, I think I've read this somewhere.


I don't want to be all moody or angsty or anything, but does anyone else kind of take pleasure in sadness sometimes? I can't really call it pleasure or enjoyment, but I don't hate sadness. I allow it to affect me.

[Bob]

I don't want to be all moody or angsty or anything, but does anyone else kind of take pleasure in sadness sometimes? I can't really call it pleasure or enjoyment, but I don't hate sadness. I allow it to affect me.

i take pleasure in other peoples' sadness, does that count?

[Nuzzolese]

depressed people are going against the whole point of life. thats why they often stop eating, taking care of themselves, being a part of society, and hurting other people. i might say they might possibly be the ones who are a little dim, but really its a little more complicated than that. struggle and finding a positive outlook are infinately more of a sign of intelligence than those who choose to wallow in their misery and accept it as a way of life. not that people's reasons for being sad are invalid.




Depression is something specific, don't you agree? It's not just being sad, it's not just being unhappy with your life. Just because I'm not happy, it doesn't mean I'm depressed. Accepting misery is not the same as wallowing in it. I think most people have a distorted view of what it is to function along the path of "the whole point of life" and they think that they have to be satisfied all the time. So they chase that satisfaction and end up like Mick Jagger...they can't get none.

You seem to suggest that the whole point of life is to go on, to just exist and continue to exist so then people who waste away or off themselves are going against that purpose. I think there might be justifiably moral reasons to stop existing, even if it is out of sadness. I guess I don't think survival is the whole point of having a brain and a life. I could be the dim one.

[Nuzzolese]

i take pleasure in other peoples' sadness, does that count?

How do you define this pleasure?

[roosta]

I'm genuinely shocked at the level of unhappiness in this thread!

I don't think being happy is a choice in the traditional definition of the word 'choice' but I do think you have control over it.

I think fundamentally it can be to do with your viewpoint on the world, the bigger picture etc. What makes you content? Can you be content with what you have?

I think a huge part of the problem is this culture where people are expecting something good to be around the corner. If they just keep the head down and put up with a certain amount of shit then it'll come good. But it never comes good. Life is fundamentally unsatisying if this is your viewpoint as you will always want more. Plus it has the other consequence that you miss out on the here and now. If your always chasing a carrot you miss out all the amazing things around you.

I have to be honest, nothing truly tragic has happened to me. Like everyone i've had people die on me etc. etc. but im generally just a content chappy. I don't want to be rich or powerful. I just like my little things in life and get on with it.

[Bob]

How do you define this pleasure?

sort of like a validation or a reassurance. like "hey, your life sucks too, that's neat." like for example right now i don't have a job and my prospects of finding one are very dim. so when i see that many of the friends i graduated with also don't have jobs, i sort of feel good about that fact, like "hey, i'm not uniquely a fuck-up". and some of them are starting to find jobs and on the one hand there's a feeling of "hey, good for you, that's awesome" but i can't deny that there's also a feeling of "please don't leave me behind"

that kind of thing

[Randetica]

I will! Or you just come round here and have a 24h-fresh-baked-goods-service :) I hope you will feel better soon!

it will take years to fix me but the baked stuffs might be a good start

[Nuzzolese]

I think fundamentally it can be to do with your viewpoint on the world, the bigger picture etc. What makes you content? Can you be content with what you have?

I have to be honest, nothing truly tragic has happened to me. Like everyone i've had people die on me etc. etc. but im generally just a content chappy. I don't want to be rich or powerful. I just like my little things in life and get on with it.

I was just thinking that I was surprised that most people think of themselves as happy. Maybe we all define 'happy' differently. I think my life is okay, I don't think I'm a happy person though.

You think contentedness has to do with being grateful for what you have, and that unhappy people are simply greedy and don't think they get what they want? An oversimplification. Some people are upset by things that don't even seem to directly affect them.

[Nuzzolese]

sort of like a validation or a reassurance. like "hey, your life sucks too, that's neat." like for example right now i don't have a job and my prospects of finding one are very dim. so when i see that many of the friends i graduated with also don't have jobs, i sort of feel good about that fact, like "hey, i'm not uniquely a fuck-up". and some of them are starting to find jobs and on the one hand there's a feeling of "hey, good for you, that's awesome" but i can't deny that there's also a feeling of "please don't leave me behind"

that kind of thing

then you take pleasure in company, not in those who are in worse situations than yourself?

[Nuzzolese]

Whenever I eat too much, I get like I'm drunk. I feel sort of giddy and euphoric and I can start laughing at something stupid and I won't be able to stop. Last week I went to a pizza buffet called Pizza Ranch - it's a western-themed buffet where they continuously bring out different kinds of pizza (or you can get fried chicken and mashed potatoes) and on the way home someone said "hasta la pizza" like Arnold in The Terminator and for some reason it was hilarious. I was in tears and stitches. I could hardly drive.

The same thing happened on the way home from the China Buffet. I can't even remember what was so funny. I was hysterical.

[Randetica]

i was definitely happy 16 years ago

i was accepted and liked by everyone in my school (not just class) i had energy for 10 people, no worries

everything was perfect

i totally remember that feeling but i cant really bring it back, life is the total opposite now

i need to be a kid again

[skra75]

yeah shits pretty awesome nowadays. Not complaining, wish I had a little extra spending money and room at my house for more sneakers but those are really small gripes compared to my crushed self esteem issue I had a few years ago. (y)

[Randetica]

p.s. i dont have a bed right now

you bastards dont know how good you got it

[Dorothy Wood]

Whenever I eat too much, I get like I'm drunk. I feel sort of giddy and euphoric and I can start laughing at something stupid and I won't be able to stop. Last week I went to a pizza buffet called Pizza Ranch - it's a western-themed buffet where they continuously bring out different kinds of pizza (or you can get fried chicken and mashed potatoes) and on the way home someone said "hasta la pizza" like Arnold in The Terminator and for some reason it was hilarious. I was in tears and stitches. I could hardly drive.

The same thing happened on the way home from the China Buffet. I can't even remember what was so funny. I was hysterical.


hasta la pizza is pretty hilarious. I want to go to the Pizza Ranch. :(

[The Notorious LOL]

I am satisfied with my life right now. It could be better, but I think everyone can find room for improvement.

[ToucanSpam]

I'd say I've never been happier. A lot of things have gone my way the last six months or so. It's kind of amazing.:)

[roosta]

You think contentedness has to do with being grateful for what you have, and that unhappy people are simply greedy and don't think they get what they want? An oversimplification. Some people are upset by things that don't even seem to directly affect them.

Well, that's not what I was saying. I don't think unhappy people are greedy, its nothing to do with greed.

Possibly my words are over simplified, but the concept is not. Its to do with not being satisfied and with not enjoying the here and now as a result.

Lots of people seem to be waiting for something to happen in the future, for some kind of mythical time when they will be completely happy as a result of everything falling into place. But this doesn't really happen does it? There's not the magical moment when you go 'ding! this is it!' and you can put your feet up, but people seem to toil away waiting for that and in doing so they miss the opportunity to be happy now.

[Nuzzolese]

hasta la pizza is pretty hilarious. I want to go to the Pizza Ranch. :(
http://www.pizzaranch.com/

[checkyourprez]

i am a beacon of happiness.


im felling good, looking good, smelling good.


its summer. im on my way to my masters, doing fine with the ladies, back to play ball injury free again. just celebrated the 25th. my best friend is getting married this weekend, and then i get to go watch my favorite team of all time, ac milan, in boston the day after.

life is tits.

[hitmonlee]

no.

i don't "get" life. it seems like too much effort for such little return. i feel like i'm just sticking it out and trying to do what i am supposed to do. i'm failing at that, so i'm failing life and that makes me pretty unhappy. a disappointing failure.

[avignon]

I was alright until I came home from Amsterdam in June. I've been pretty miserable since. I normally get very sad for awhile after leaving my long distance boyfriend but it normally levels off after a few days. This time it's worse. I couldn't function for awhile at first. But it's slowly getting back to normal.

[roosta]

no.

i don't "get" life.

there's nothing to "get".

[Nuzzolese]

no.

i don't "get" life. it seems like too much effort for such little return. i feel like i'm just sticking it out and trying to do what i am supposed to do. i'm failing at that, so i'm failing life and that makes me pretty unhappy. a disappointing failure.

I like you.

[hitmonlee]

there's nothing to "get".

so why bother?

[roosta]

so why bother?

Just because there's nothing to get about/with/from life doesn't mean you shouldn't bother living.

The problem is this idea that you are owed something, or that everything you do must have a result or produce something. I think, personally, its this kind of thought process that fucks things up, any many levels (personally, inter-personally, politics wise, etc. etc.)

There's nothing wrong with life being pointless; it doesn't stop it being fun (or potentially fun) or enjoyable or "worth it".

Life having no purpose does not make it worthless.

[bgirl forever!!]

I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've accomplished my number one goal...to have a baby!! Of course, we don't have a ton or money and I don't necessarily LOVE my job, but my baby is the most wonderful thing that I've ever done/made/experienced. She is a blessing....that, and Zoloft! :D

[hpdrifter]

Yeah. I mean you're here, you're alive, so why not make the best of it?

[Bob]

Just because there's nothing to get about/with/from life doesn't mean you shouldn't bother living.

The problem is this idea that you are owed something, or that everything you do must have a result or produce something. I think, personally, its this kind of thought process that fucks things up, any many levels (personally, inter-personally, politics wise, etc. etc.)

There's nothing wrong with life being pointless; it doesn't stop it being fun (or potentially fun) or enjoyable or "worth it".

Life having no purpose does not make it worthless.

(y)

i never understood why existentialism was supposed to be depressing. if there's no inherent goal or purpose of life, doesn't that just mean that you can't fuck it up? make your own goals and if you don't wanna do that, just smoke weed and watch hulu all day, who gives a shit

[Nuzzolese]

(y)

i never understood why existentialism was supposed to be depressing. if there's no inherent goal or purpose of life, doesn't that just mean that you can't fuck it up? make your own goals and if you don't wanna do that, just smoke weed and watch hulu all day, who gives a shit

What? No! There has to be a purpose to life! I don't think people are like Roosta said; where they EXPECT something coming to them. I think people want to give something to the world and then get depressed when they feel like they have nothing to offer.

[Bob]

What? No! There has to be a purpose to life!

nah

[hpdrifter]

I think people want to give something to the world and then get depressed when they feel like they have nothing to offer.

Astute.

[Nuzzolese]

I agree that people who see no purpose in life should try to keep living; but only because I think they should try to find or make a purpose to their life, not because they ought to accept that there isn't anything to get about/with/from life.

[Bob]

I agree that people who see no purpose in life should try to keep living; but only because I think they should try to find or make a purpose to their life, not because they ought to accept that there isn't anything to get about/with/from life.

i didn't mean to say that there isn't anything to get from life or that there aren't purposes to be pursued, i just meant there isn't any inherent purpose to life (probably). all i'm saying is that the question "why are we here?" is one with no wrong answer; you have to make it up yourself, otherwise you're just gonna be mopey and unpleasant

[Nuzzolese]

i didn't mean to say that there isn't anything to get from life or that there aren't purposes to be pursued, i just meant there isn't any inherent purpose to life (probably). all i'm saying is that the question "why are we here?" is one with no wrong answer; you have to make it up yourself, otherwise you're just gonna be mopey and unpleasant

Oh, right then. We're in agreement.

[Nuzzolese]

Also, however, I think it's okay to be unhappy, to be a functional unhappy person. Or perhaps I should say, it's okay to be a person who has not found contentment in the present. I don't think that's in itself a sign of some kind of failure or stagnation.

[DandyFop]

Yes. I used my recent birthday to tell myself to get the hell out of the rut I was in, and start taking action towards the things I want to accomplish. It feels awesome.

[roosta]

Also, however, I think it's okay to be unhappy, to be a functional unhappy person. Or perhaps I should say, it's okay to be a person who has not found contentment in the present. I don't think that's in itself a sign of some kind of failure or stagnation.

I think if you are functional and unhappy, then in one way you aren't really unhappy. Maybe not as happy as you could/or want to be, but not unhappy. But, It's probably as you said a while ago, to do with defining happiness I guess.

One mans happy might be another mans unhappy.

I definitely don't think its a failure to not be content in the now.

[Helvete]

I think my current mood has been affecting my health. I've literally never suffered from any acne on my back or shoulders, even as a teen and now my shoulders have just turned pretty bad. What the fuck?! Is it possible for stress or depression to cause this?

[Adam]

yes Helvete

[cosmo105]

Things have been going my way ever since the start of this year. it's funny, 2008 was a bust from the very start to the very end - seriously, from NYE to the next NYE - and this one has been solid amazing.

I used to be a very depressed person. I defined myself as such. I went through several very rough years as a young cosmo105 and am proud to say I emerged a confident, awesome, and happy adult cosmo105. It wasn't therapy that helped, nor medication. I have had some great counseling here and there, but really the biggest help was time and growing the fuck up. I have a wonderful family, awesome friends, the best boyfriend in the world (Crystal, let's make them fight), and a home and a bed and a fantastic new job and a bright future. All it took was taking the initiative myself and doing what makes me happy instead of complaining about not being happy. I did it.

[Bob]

hey i have a bed too but you don't hear me bragging about it

actually it's only like half a bed, i couldn't fit the box spring up the stairs

[Randetica]

i cant do much without meds anymore

not everyone is that lucky

[Randetica]

pfft. Young, not horribly ugly, funny.

Oh yeah, you've got it reeeeaaaal rough.:rolleyes:


you obviously dont know anything about me

maybe i should join the army to have it real rough :rolleyes:

[Adam]

we all have our poisons and demons - take meds, eat too much, drink too much, masturbate too much, join the army, serial cheater, falling in and out of love - whatever makes you tick to validate your life.

What I am saying is that I think those that have learned to live with what you are are the happiest - which is why one mans (or womans) happiness is another mans (or womans) unhappiness.

[Randetica]

without this:

"Social anxiety disorder (DSM-IV 300.23), also known as social anxiety or social phobia is a diagnosis within psychiatry and other mental health professions referring to excessive social anxiety (anxiety in social situations) causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some areas of daily life. The diagnosis can be of a specific disorder (when only some particular situations are feared) or a generalized disorder. Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being judged by others and of potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by one's own actions. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny by others. While the fear of social interaction may be recognized by the person as excessive or unreasonable, considerable difficulty can be encountered overcoming it. Approximately 13.3 percent of the general population may meet criteria for social anxiety disorder at some point in their lifetime, according to the highest survey estimate, with the male to female ratio being 1:1.5.

Physical symptoms often accompanying social anxiety disorder include excessive blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis), trembling, palpitations, nausea, and stammering. Panic attacks may also occur under intense fear and discomfort. An early diagnosis may help in minimizing the symptoms and the development of additional problems such as depression. Some sufferers may use alcohol or other drugs to reduce fears and inhibitions at social events. It is very common for sufferers of social phobia to self-medicate in this fashion, especially if they are undiagnosed and/or untreated. This can lead to alcoholism or other kinds of substance abuse.

A person with the disorder may be treated with psychotherapy, medication, or both. Research has shown cognitive behavior therapy, whether individually or in a group, to be effective in treating social phobia. The cognitive and behavioral components seek to change thought patterns and physical reactions to anxiety-inducing situations. Prescribed medications include several classes of antidepressants: selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). Other commonly used medications include beta-blockers and benzodiazepines, as well as newer antidepressants such as mirtazapine. A herb called kava has also attracted attention as a possible treatment, although safety concerns exist, especially given the unregulated nature of herbs in the United States.

Attention given to social anxiety disorder has significantly increased in the United States since 1999 with the approval and marketing of drugs for its treatment."

and this:

"Major depressive disorder (also known as clinical depression, major depression, unipolar depression, or unipolar disorder) is a mental disorder characterized by an all-encompassing low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. The term "major depressive disorder" was selected by the American Psychiatric Association to designate this symptom cluster as a mood disorder in the 1980 version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III) classification, and has become widely used since. The general term depression is often used to describe the disorder, but as it can also be used to describe other types of psychological depression, more precise terminology is preferred for the disorder in clinical and research use. Major depression is a disabling condition which adversely affects a person's family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. In the United States, approximately 3.4% of people with major depression commit suicide, and up to 60% of people who commit suicide have depression or another mood disorder.

The diagnosis of major depressive disorder is based on the patient's self-reported experiences, behavior reported by relatives or friends, and a mental status exam. There is no laboratory test for major depression, although physicians generally request tests for physical conditions that may cause similar symptoms. The most common time of onset is between the ages of 30 and 40 years, with a later peak between 50 and 60 years. Major depression is reported about twice as frequently in women as in men, although men are at higher risk for committing suicide.

Most patients are treated in the community with antidepressant medication and some with psychotherapy or counseling. Hospitalization may be necessary in cases with associated self-neglect or a significant risk of harm to self or others. A minority are treated with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), under a short-acting general anaesthetic. The course of the disorder varies widely, from one episode lasting months to a lifelong disorder with recurrent major depressive episodes. Depressed individuals have shorter life expectancies than those without depression, in part because of greater susceptibility to medical illnesses. Current and former patients may be stigmatized.

The understanding of the nature and causes of depression has evolved over the centuries, though many aspects of depression remain incompletely understood and are the subject of discussion and research. Psychological, psycho-social, hereditary, evolutionary and biological causes have been proposed. Psychological treatments are based on theories of personality, interpersonal communication, and learning. Most biological theories focus on the monoamine chemicals serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine that are naturally present in the brain and assist communication between nerve cells. Monoamines have been implicated in depression, and most antidepressants work to increase the active levels of at least one."


i would be a happy person
*promise*

[Adam]

tldr

sorry.

[b i o n i c]

do you go to a therapist or anything, randy?

[Randetica]

do you go to a therapist or anything, randy?

i went to a few but they always send me to others like im a hopeless case

i got told i need to get watched in a stationary, for god knows how long

i dont exactly knows what that means but im shit scared

also anti depressants didnt help

[Randetica]

tldr

sorry.

fu

[cosmo105]

just to clarify, i'm just saying none of that stuff worked in my situation. treatments like that are a godsend to plenty of people.

[Randetica]

also show me how to be happy when youre not getting love or atleast respect from any side

i want to flush myself down the toilet, thats my only plan

[cosmo105]

I don't think anyone on here is equipped to give you advice. None of us are psychiatrists, and we can only speak from our own experience. Someone suffering from those conditions you mentioned needs a lot more help (from professionals) than anyone on a messageboard could ever give. The answer's definitely not on here.

[b i o n i c]

definately not.

[Randetica]

I don't think anyone on here is equipped to give you advice. None of us are psychiatrists, and we can only speak from our own experience. Someone suffering from those conditions you mentioned needs a lot more help (from professionals) than anyone on a messageboard could ever give. The answer's definitely not on here.

wow no shit?

im just showing i dont whine for no reasons like eriklee thinks

[Kid Presentable]

I think being on the messageboard might be bad for you, since people don't self-censor very well, and you may react badly to a comment or some shit. Fuck I don't know. Why is it always me?

[cosmo105]

wow no shit?

im just showing i dont whine for no reasons like eriklee thinks

that was more for everyone else than for you. i know a lot of people around here have the strong desire to help, and that's sweet and all, but it doesn't necessarily mean they actually can.

[Kid Presentable]

I am totes paying attention to cosmo right now.

[cosmo105]

*farts*

[Kid Presentable]

Inhaaaaaaaaale
exhaaaaaaaaaale
i just got some farts in tha maaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiil

[Randetica]

that was more for everyone else than for you. i know a lot of people around here have the strong desire to help, and that's sweet and all, but it doesn't necessarily mean they actually can.

yeah, most give me the advice to get some balls

such a help!

it helps more to talk about my problems so i do it from time to time even when some are quite tired of it

[b i o n i c]

i think what some people are trying to say is that talking about it, talking to us about it isnt doing anything to help you out.

i think that your situation deserves more attention than just venting about it.

its true, some people do want to help. its true, we can't

[nodanaonlyzuul]

the best boyfriend in the world (Crystal, let's make them fight)

I have the urge to photoshop their heads on a screencap of MK or SFII right now. Haha.

[Randetica]

i think what some people are trying to say is that talking about it, talking to us about it isnt doing anything to help you out.

i think that your situation deserves more attention than just venting about it.

its true, some people do want to help. its true, we can't

i knew this all before you or cosmo did

if most professionals cant help me then you definitely cant

youre missing the point
im not waiting for help here, im just saying !WHY! im sad and talking about it makes me feel a bit better

i didnt say give me advice or something
read ericlee's post and you know why im doing this also
i dont want others to think im one of those who cry around while having a life of a princess

[russhie]

No, not really.

[Gareth]

professionally, i'm not bad.
personally, only so-so.

[Justin]

Professionally: Yes, as long as the federal government keeps spending money! (I shouldn't have any problems with that, EVER)

Personally: I'm at peace;) I really never get excessively Sad or Happy. I try to stay right in the middle. Never to excited, never to mad.

I will say that I've been happier recently due to really not caring what others think or do (i know this sounds bad). I gotta say I'm enjoying it. I used to be a "follower" when it comes to parties and whatnot and when those plans would cancel from time to time, I'd get really pissed off. NOW...I basically just say "this is where I'm going, show up if you want to, if not who cares"

Yep, I'm never getting married

[na§tee]

i recently got return tickets from london to sydney for £214.95, so i'm happy. right now. even after worrying about the various worrysome worry things. i worry way, way, way too much for someone so seemingly carefree. i am trying to be more spontaneous and pragmatic. can you do both? shit, we'll see.

p.s. we might even end up in perth for one day oh ohhh!

[hitmonlee]

Yeah. I mean you're here, you're alive, so why not make the best of it?

because there are more bad times than good times. like i said, too much effort for too little return.

[roosta]

because there are more bad times than good times. like i said, too much effort for too little return.

what do you mean by return? what do you expect to get? and what do you put in to get it?

[checkyourprez]

without this:

"Social anxiety disorder (DSM-IV 300.23), also known as social anxiety or social phobia is a diagnosis within psychiatry and other mental health professions referring to excessive social anxiety (anxiety in social situations) causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some areas of daily life. The diagnosis can be of a specific disorder (when only some particular situations are feared) or a generalized disorder. Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being judged by others and of potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by one's own actions. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny by others. While the fear of social interaction may be recognized by the person as excessive or unreasonable, considerable difficulty can be encountered overcoming it. Approximately 13.3 percent of the general population may meet criteria for social anxiety disorder at some point in their lifetime, according to the highest survey estimate, with the male to female ratio being 1:1.5.

Physical symptoms often accompanying social anxiety disorder include excessive blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis), trembling, palpitations, nausea, and stammering. Panic attacks may also occur under intense fear and discomfort. An early diagnosis may help in minimizing the symptoms and the development of additional problems such as depression. Some sufferers may use alcohol or other drugs to reduce fears and inhibitions at social events. It is very common for sufferers of social phobia to self-medicate in this fashion, especially if they are undiagnosed and/or untreated. This can lead to alcoholism or other kinds of substance abuse.

A person with the disorder may be treated with psychotherapy, medication, or both. Research has shown cognitive behavior therapy, whether individually or in a group, to be effective in treating social phobia. The cognitive and behavioral components seek to change thought patterns and physical reactions to anxiety-inducing situations. Prescribed medications include several classes of antidepressants: selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). Other commonly used medications include beta-blockers and benzodiazepines, as well as newer antidepressants such as mirtazapine. A herb called kava has also attracted attention as a possible treatment, although safety concerns exist, especially given the unregulated nature of herbs in the United States.

Attention given to social anxiety disorder has significantly increased in the United States since 1999 with the approval and marketing of drugs for its treatment."

and this:

"Major depressive disorder (also known as clinical depression, major depression, unipolar depression, or unipolar disorder) is a mental disorder characterized by an all-encompassing low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and loss of interest or pleasure in normally enjoyable activities. The term "major depressive disorder" was selected by the American Psychiatric Association to designate this symptom cluster as a mood disorder in the 1980 version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III) classification, and has become widely used since. The general term depression is often used to describe the disorder, but as it can also be used to describe other types of psychological depression, more precise terminology is preferred for the disorder in clinical and research use. Major depression is a disabling condition which adversely affects a person's family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. In the United States, approximately 3.4% of people with major depression commit suicide, and up to 60% of people who commit suicide have depression or another mood disorder.

The diagnosis of major depressive disorder is based on the patient's self-reported experiences, behavior reported by relatives or friends, and a mental status exam. There is no laboratory test for major depression, although physicians generally request tests for physical conditions that may cause similar symptoms. The most common time of onset is between the ages of 30 and 40 years, with a later peak between 50 and 60 years. Major depression is reported about twice as frequently in women as in men, although men are at higher risk for committing suicide.

Most patients are treated in the community with antidepressant medication and some with psychotherapy or counseling. Hospitalization may be necessary in cases with associated self-neglect or a significant risk of harm to self or others. A minority are treated with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), under a short-acting general anaesthetic. The course of the disorder varies widely, from one episode lasting months to a lifelong disorder with recurrent major depressive episodes. Depressed individuals have shorter life expectancies than those without depression, in part because of greater susceptibility to medical illnesses. Current and former patients may be stigmatized.

The understanding of the nature and causes of depression has evolved over the centuries, though many aspects of depression remain incompletely understood and are the subject of discussion and research. Psychological, psycho-social, hereditary, evolutionary and biological causes have been proposed. Psychological treatments are based on theories of personality, interpersonal communication, and learning. Most biological theories focus on the monoamine chemicals serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine that are naturally present in the brain and assist communication between nerve cells. Monoamines have been implicated in depression, and most antidepressants work to increase the active levels of at least one."


i would be a happy person
*promise*


its all in your head.


man up.

[Planetary]

its all in your head.

i was gonna say that was funny because it's true. but it's not really funny, just true. funny though

[Randetica]

its all in your head.


man up.

youre an idiot and obviously dont know what youre talking about so please shut up

and im a girl

[Fern]

no.

[camo]

I hear ya Randy.

[Randetica]

I hear ya Randy.

you better!



also i didnt know we had so many psychiatrists on this board.. thanks for your wise words!
i see anything clearly now! and i wast even blind before!
a wonder!

[camo]

Yeah guys...some of the worst thing to say to someone with depression is 'snap out of it' or 'it's all in your head'.

[Adam]

Randy - I don't think anyone is picking a fight with you here and not many of us are psychiatrists - but we are all from different cultures, life experiences, views etc - as a collective our opinions are given if they are asked for or not. If you don't like it then you have to keep that part of your life out of the public domain.

just sayin'

[Randetica]

Randy - I don't think anyone is picking a fight with you here and not many of us are psychiatrists - but we are all from different cultures, life experiences, views etc - as a collective our opinions are given if they are asked for or not. If you don't like it then you have to keep that part of your life out of the public domain.

just sayin'

oh please, you sound like a noob who doesnt understand a word

[Adam]

hehe, ok (y)

[Randetica]

Yeah guys...some of the worst thing to say to someone with depression is 'snap out of it' or 'it's all in your head'.

word.

they are just some immature idiots who dont know any better

help them man up! it's up to you now

[Kid Presentable]

To the people who aren't happy, it's not like I'm a ball of glee 24/7. Some days I feel like walking into traffic. I'm just glad to feel something. When I die, it will be just like before I was born. Nothing. And I don't recall much interesting shit happening then. So it's good to be, even when the being is shit.

[camo]

When I die, it will be just like before I was born. Nothing. And I don't recall much interesting shit happening then. So it's good to be, even when the being is shit.

I swear that's the cleverest thing I've ever seen you put up in here and you've done plenty of clever shit before.

Fuck man that resonates with me massively.

[Helvete]

Hey, I just came top on a round of Battlefield 1943 on the 360. I'm pretty good at that game, you know.

[camo]

Hey, I just came top on a round of Battlefield 1943 on the 360. I'm pretty good at that game, you know.

NAH! To be pretty good you have to be at the top consistently for a few matches :D

[beastiegirrl101]

I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've accomplished my number one goal...to have a baby!!

Congrats and all that but really? Your number one goal in life was to have a kid?

Last year all my friends were getting married and this year they are all having babies and I am finding that I am having a hard time being on the same page, They are in baby land and they seem to have forgotten who they are, their personal interests...eh, I did just watch Revolutionary Road so maybe that's where all this came from.

[hitmonlee]

what do you mean by return? what do you expect to get? and what do you put in to get it?

effort/happiness

happiness should at least equal effort expended in gaining happiness

[Adam]

Maybe not enough effort then?

[hpdrifter]

You're not guaranteed anything in life. You can expend all of the effort you want but life owes you nothing. Once you get that this stuff won't bother you anymore and you'll be free to be happy.

I am with Kid P, just enjoy the fact that you're breathing in and out.

[roosta]

effort/happiness

happiness should at least equal effort expended in gaining happiness

I still don't understand this thinking or what you mean by effort and happiness in this case.

Now, to begin with, I don't know anything about your life. There may well be horrible things making you very unhappy, but I'll have a stab at this effort/happiness way of thinking.

The way I see it, there is no cosmic happiness exchange where you toil away and you are rewarded for it with happiness. As it is, happiness is such a complex thing to define (and personal thing).

If we're to take some kind of generalized dictionary definition of happiness we could say that it is contentment/satisfaction. If so, I don't see how this could possibly be the result of any effort other than your own effort to have a perspective on life with is conducive to happiness. Now, this may not be possible due to many reasons (chemical / physical for one) but otherwise contentment / satisfaction with anything has to come from you. Of course you can position yourself to be surrounded by things or events that will make you happy, but ultimately the only reason these things make you happy is because of yourself.

So if you are toiling away with life, and you are not happy, I don't think you can expect this to change without some kind of personal change of perspective or viewpoint or mentality. But here in lies the problem, If you put alot of effort into this, or toil very hard at trying to be happy or be content than you will most likely fail, as you will not get results quick enough or they will seem forced.

The trick is, I guess, to consider and cultivate a viewpoint in which you can appreciate life. This may require effort, but possibly not the effort you were talking about

I'm probably not wording this very well. Its a subject I have alot of interest in, and read up alot on, but sometimes I struggle to explain it in my own words.


On a related note, here's a great little Alan Watts monologue set to animation which goes someway to explaining this kind of attitude. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)

[cosmo105]

nice, roosta. (y)

[checkyourprez]

youre an idiot and obviously dont know what youre talking about so please shut up

and im a girl

blah blah blah i say girly.

everyone has their issues.


woman up.

[Randetica]

blah blah blah i say girly.

everyone has their issues.


woman up.

when did i say im the only one with issues?

start making sense

[checkyourprez]

when did i say im the only one with issues?

start making sense

start reading between the lines.

other people with issues are able to, and do live very happy lives.

dont let your SAD get you sad.

make the best out of life.

[Randetica]

start reading between the lines.

other people with issues are able to, and do live very happy lives.

dont let your SAD get you sad.

make the best out of life.

they dont have the issues that i got, due my "illness" i had no real life friends in more than 12 years which is nearly half of my life nor any relationships


what i have cant get "shacked off" im very lonely and anyone else at my situation would be just as depressed or some killed themselves already or atleast become alcoholics

sorry but the lines you stole of talk shows dont work here
be happy you dont have to deal with that kind of shit and only talk again after you actually know what youre talking about

[Dorothy Wood]

I still don't understand this thinking or what you mean by effort and happiness in this case.

Now, to begin with, I don't know anything about your life. There may well be horrible things making you very unhappy, but I'll have a stab at this effort/happiness way of thinking.

The way I see it, there is no cosmic happiness exchange where you toil away and you are rewarded for it with happiness. As it is, happiness is such a complex thing to define (and personal thing).

If we're to take some kind of generalized dictionary definition of happiness we could say that it is contentment/satisfaction. If so, I don't see how this could possibly be the result of any effort other than your own effort to have a perspective on life with is conducive to happiness. Now, this may not be possible due to many reasons (chemical / physical for one) but otherwise contentment / satisfaction with anything has to come from you. Of course you can position yourself to be surrounded by things or events that will make you happy, but ultimately the only reason these things make you happy is because of yourself.

So if you are toiling away with life, and you are not happy, I don't think you can expect this to change without some kind of personal change of perspective or viewpoint or mentality. But here in lies the problem, If you put alot of effort into this, or toil very hard at trying to be happy or be content than you will most likely fail, as you will not get results quick enough or they will seem forced.

The trick is, I guess, to consider and cultivate a viewpoint in which you can appreciate life. This may require effort, but possibly not the effort you were talking about

I'm probably not wording this very well. Its a subject I have alot of interest in, and read up alot on, but sometimes I struggle to explain it in my own words.


On a related note, here's a great little Alan Watts monologue set to animation which goes someway to explaining this kind of attitude. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)



ya, thanks for that roosta, I'm feeling pretty down today and what you said plus the little ditty at the end gives me some comfort. (y)

[Bob]

I still don't understand this thinking or what you mean by effort and happiness in this case.

Now, to begin with, I don't know anything about your life. There may well be horrible things making you very unhappy, but I'll have a stab at this effort/happiness way of thinking.

The way I see it, there is no cosmic happiness exchange where you toil away and you are rewarded for it with happiness. As it is, happiness is such a complex thing to define (and personal thing).

If we're to take some kind of generalized dictionary definition of happiness we could say that it is contentment/satisfaction. If so, I don't see how this could possibly be the result of any effort other than your own effort to have a perspective on life with is conducive to happiness. Now, this may not be possible due to many reasons (chemical / physical for one) but otherwise contentment / satisfaction with anything has to come from you. Of course you can position yourself to be surrounded by things or events that will make you happy, but ultimately the only reason these things make you happy is because of yourself.

So if you are toiling away with life, and you are not happy, I don't think you can expect this to change without some kind of personal change of perspective or viewpoint or mentality. But here in lies the problem, If you put alot of effort into this, or toil very hard at trying to be happy or be content than you will most likely fail, as you will not get results quick enough or they will seem forced.

The trick is, I guess, to consider and cultivate a viewpoint in which you can appreciate life. This may require effort, but possibly not the effort you were talking about

I'm probably not wording this very well. Its a subject I have alot of interest in, and read up alot on, but sometimes I struggle to explain it in my own words.


On a related note, here's a great little Alan Watts monologue set to animation which goes someway to explaining this kind of attitude. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)

it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got?

or perhaps wanting what you're likely to be able to get

[Ghouls_Night]

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here 2 tell u
There's something else
The afterworld

A world of never ending happiness
U can always see the sun, day or night

So when u call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
U know the one - "Dr Everything will Be Alright"
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

'Cuz in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life
You're on your own

And if de-elevator tries 2 bring u down
Go crazy - punch a higher floor

:) Prince know everything.

[hitmonlee]

I still don't understand this thinking or what you mean by effort and happiness in this case.

Now, to begin with, I don't know anything about your life. There may well be horrible things making you very unhappy, but I'll have a stab at this effort/happiness way of thinking.

The way I see it, there is no cosmic happiness exchange where you toil away and you are rewarded for it with happiness. As it is, happiness is such a complex thing to define (and personal thing).

If we're to take some kind of generalized dictionary definition of happiness we could say that it is contentment/satisfaction. If so, I don't see how this could possibly be the result of any effort other than your own effort to have a perspective on life with is conducive to happiness. Now, this may not be possible due to many reasons (chemical / physical for one) but otherwise contentment / satisfaction with anything has to come from you. Of course you can position yourself to be surrounded by things or events that will make you happy, but ultimately the only reason these things make you happy is because of yourself.

So if you are toiling away with life, and you are not happy, I don't think you can expect this to change without some kind of personal change of perspective or viewpoint or mentality. But here in lies the problem, If you put alot of effort into this, or toil very hard at trying to be happy or be content than you will most likely fail, as you will not get results quick enough or they will seem forced.

The trick is, I guess, to consider and cultivate a viewpoint in which you can appreciate life. This may require effort, but possibly not the effort you were talking about

I'm probably not wording this very well. Its a subject I have alot of interest in, and read up alot on, but sometimes I struggle to explain it in my own words.


On a related note, here's a great little Alan Watts monologue set to animation which goes someway to explaining this kind of attitude. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)

i really don't understand what you are saying hey. also i can only read 50% of it because the forum is too wide and your post goes off my screen.

i think it's a bit too late to change my perspective on life. i've hated life ever since i was a kid.

sticking it out since '88 :)
You're not guaranteed anything in life. You can expend all of the effort you want but life owes you nothing. Once you get that this stuff won't bother you anymore and you'll be free to be happy.

I am with Kid P, just enjoy the fact that you're breathing in and out.

how does one simply forget the shit that bothers them so they can "be happy"?

[Helvete]

Is it only the single people that are hating life? Or those in shitty relationships? I think there must be some correlation.

[Kid Presentable]

i really don't understand what you are saying hey. also i can only read 50% of it because the forum is too wide and your post goes off my screen.

i think it's a bit too late to change my perspective on life. i've hated life ever since i was a kid.

sticking it out since '88 :)


how does one simply forget the shit that bothers them so they can "be happy"?

You don't have to be happy for anybody else's benefit. If you're happy being miserable, then cool.

[Adam]

I'm single and happy :)

[checkyourprez]

they dont have the issues that i got, due my "illness" i had no real life friends in more than 12 years which is nearly half of my life nor any relationships


what i have cant get "shacked off" im very lonely and anyone else at my situation would be just as depressed or some killed themselves already or atleast become alcoholics

sorry but the lines you stole of talk shows dont work here
be happy you dont have to deal with that kind of shit and only talk again after you actually know what youre talking about

whats stopping you right now from going up to someone and saying "hello, my name is ______ . whats yours?"

[checkyourprez]

Is it only the single people that are hating life? Or those in shitty relationships? I think there must be some correlation.

singles the way to be baby. single, lets you mingle.

[Helvete]

I'm not saying all single people are unhappy, but are all unhappy people single?

[checkyourprez]

I'm not saying all single people are unhappy, but are all unhappy people single?

naaaah theres a reason why the divorce rate is 50% in this country. no way all those people are happy.

[Helvete]

You are missing my point, obviously a bad relationship would equal unhappiness, but surely that is the precursor to being single again. I am just saying being in a good relationship can count for a huge part in how happy we are in our lives. Doesn't it make the hard times and bad things in our lives a lot easier if you know you have the support of a good partner.

[checkyourprez]

You are missing my point, obviously a bad relationship would equal unhappiness, but surely that is the precursor to being single again. I am just saying being in a good relationship can count for a huge part in how happy we are in our lives. Doesn't it make the hard times and bad things in our lives a lot easier if you know you have the support of a good partner.


im sure that makes it easier.

but i think your brushing off the fact that many many people are in bad relationships. and actually stay in bad relationships. which in turn cause them to not be happy. and hence goes your theory.

[Helvete]

That's their own bloody fault then!

[Randetica]

i guess i win this thing, doesnt make me much happier though

[bgirl forever!!]

Congrats and all that but really? Your number one goal in life was to have a kid?

Last year all my friends were getting married and this year they are all having babies and I am finding that I am having a hard time being on the same page, They are in baby land and they seem to have forgotten who they are, their personal interests...eh, I did just watch Revolutionary Road so maybe that's where all this came from.


Yes, it was...and I don't see anything wrong with that. My child is beautiful, wonderful and a gift. Maybe you'll understand someday, maybe you won't...I haven't forgotten who I am, or my personal interests. I still go to rock shows and hang out with friends...I just love my baby now, too.

[Randetica]

thats my number #1 goal aswell

[Nuzzolese]

I'm single and happy :)

and fabulous

[Kid Presentable]

I love the stuff that comes out me body, too.

[ToucanSpam]

Yes, it was...and I don't see anything wrong with that. My child is beautiful, wonderful and a gift. Maybe you'll understand someday, maybe you won't...I haven't forgotten who I am, or my personal interests. I still go to rock shows and hang out with friends...I just love my baby now, too.

I don't see anything wrong with this whatsoever. It would be bad if you were saying "Everything before my child is trivial/is now passe" (sp) but you're not, so I don't get why anyone would have a problem with being happy with a kid.

Also, congrats.(y)

[DipDipDive]

Life is what you make of it for most people, but not for all. Existential tossing and turning and the ability for one to stop and ponder over whether or not he or she is happy is a privilege of the privileged.

I've wasted too much of my life asking myself this question and not enough of my life living it. I'm not exactly sure when I reached the "fuck that shit" point, but I know it was relatively recent. Living life is way more fun than trying to figure it out.

So my answer is yes, I'm happy.

[ToucanSpam]

Life is what you make of it for most people, but not for all. Existential tossing and turning and the ability for one to stop and ponder over whether or not he or she is happy is a privilege of the privileged.

I've wasted too much of my life asking myself this question and not enough of my life living it. I'm not exactly sure when I reached the "fuck that shit" point, but I know it was relatively recent. Living life is way more fun than trying to figure it out.

So my answer is yes, I'm happy.

That's great to hear.(y)

[cosmo105]

Life is what you make of it for most people, but not for all. Existential tossing and turning and the ability for one to stop and ponder over whether or not he or she is happy is a privilege of the privileged.

I've wasted too much of my life asking myself this question and not enough of my life living it. I'm not exactly sure when I reached the "fuck that shit" point, but I know it was relatively recent. Living life is way more fun than trying to figure it out.

So my answer is yes, I'm happy.

Agreed. The way I see it, I'm in my prime and having the time of my life. I'm surrounded by wonderful people and if I let every little shitty thing that came along bother me, I'd be miserable. But I have total control over how I feel, and no one else does. You are ultimately in charge of your emotions and feelings. And that's so liberating to know.

[bgirl forever!!]

I don't see anything wrong with this whatsoever. It would be bad if you were saying "Everything before my child is trivial/is now passe" (sp) but you're not, so I don't get why anyone would have a problem with being happy with a kid.

Also, congrats.(y)

Thanks!

[skra75]

I'm happy, but I wish I was asleep instead of being jet lagged for a whole fucking week. God is torturing me.

[Echewta]

I'm happy most of the time except when the voice in the back of my head tells me that I'm not where I wanted to be and then I get bummed out for awhile and eat a pint of ice cream wrapped in a kitchen cloth with a small spoon that I use to swirl it around to get it soft.

[Adam]

God is torturing me.

Sorry, but I have to test everyone.

[hitmonlee]

I'm not saying all single people are unhappy, but are all unhappy people single?

i was equally unhappy when in a relationship, my feelings on life have been around since i was 11-12 years old and remain unchanged.

[Nuzzolese]

I'm happy most of the time except when the voice in the back of my head tells me that I'm not where I wanted to be and then I get bummed out for awhile and eat a pint of ice cream wrapped in a kitchen cloth with a small spoon that I use to swirl it around to get it soft.

I aaym beautiful, no matter what they say!!