I work with a Vulkan

[Nuzzolese]

Do you think it's possible for a person to have no feelings, no empathy, no emotions? I work with a new doctor here who does research and teaching primarily, rather than seeing patients, and I think he might either be a robot or an alien. I'm not sure.

He is the strangest person I've ever met. He never reacts to anything with more than a calm, complacent response. He doesn't seem to have any sense of humor at all. And I wish I could explain just how odd his entire manner is. He is always stiff and controlled, formal. I mean the part in his hair alone, is like an entire metaphor for severity.

I've heard of people with no empathy and no understanding of human interactions, but I thought they were either sociopaths or had some form of autism. And he can't be either one becuase he's obviously really smart and accomplished and sociopaths are supposed to be good at fooling people by being really charismatic.

It is illogical, but fascinating. I don't think he's human.

[Miho]

Or maybe he's just a disciplined person who separates work and pleasure.

[Nuzzolese]

I want to get inside his life and figure him out. His office is spotless. It has no indication of any kind of personal life. I tried, once to engage him in a conversation about something non-work related but I was so nervous, and he had this cold dead look in his eyes so I scrapped that plan. I think I'm going to follow him home one night.

[Helvete]

He probably hasn't always been like this. Maybe certain events in his life made him this way. It could just be easier for him.

And it's Vulcan, no K.

[TAL]

Yeah, "vulkan" is Swedish.

[paul jones]

He probably listens to Huey Lewis and the news

[Nuzzolese]

Sorry about this misspelling.

[Adam]

Autistic people can be really smart.

But its more likely that its the start of the robot uprising

[avignon]

I think your most logical course of action is to seduce him.

[Bob]

he's a cylon, throw him out the airlock. hospitals have airlocks, right?

[mickill]

Maybe he's an Ewok.

[jennyb]

He probably listens to Huey Lewis and the news

PFFFFHAHAHAH thx I needed that.



but yeah, I think I too, must work with a vulcan (for many years now). It's all super creepy and unnerving. :( ...and you are forced to deal with this person on a daily basis. Sux yo. When dealing with this person I just try to tell myself that this behavior is nothing to be taken personally when I try to open up to them but still deep down I can't help but feel like wtf dammit. :mad: Act like a fucking human being already! I think you can be professional yet human. There's no excuse for being simply a creepy robotic worker drone.

[Adam]

like avignon said - you should get with him - you don't have to fuck him but if you get in his dwelling then you can check if there is any heads in the freezers.

[Audio.]

Autistic people can be really smart.

But its more likely that its the start of the robot uprising
Hmm so this doctor fellow has the same persona as Robocop?

[Nuzzolese]

I'm sure he is beyond the reach of seduction, in the traditional sense anyway. Perhaps a racy x-ray of my chest cavity sent to his cell phone, though. (!)



Why is it that whenever I'm around someone who behaves in one extreme, it always drives my behavior so much further in the opposite direction than my natural inclinations would ever take me? He's so serious and controlled that I get silly around him. Likewise I have a very silly and giddy coworker around whom I have trouble even cracking a smile. It's like I need that kind of balance or something.

[Myu-to]

Sociopaths fool people by acting like they have emotions, what you have is a sociopath that doesn't care enough to try to act normal. I suggest that you don't put on any lotion in his presence.

Or maybe he is a robot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRM8bJJjA9Y).

[Myu-to]

Why is it that whenever I'm around someone who behaves in one extreme, it always drives my behavior so much further in the opposite direction than my natural inclinations would ever take me? He's so serious and controlled that I get silly around him. Likewise I have a very silly and giddy coworker around whom I have trouble even cracking a smile. It's like I need that kind of balance or something.
Maybe you just need to except people for who they are, and stop trying to bend them to your will.

[Nuzzolese]

Maybe you just need to except people for who they are, and stop trying to bend them to your will.

You! You miss the whole point of...me. I not only accept people for who they are, I become fascinated by who they are. I follow them around and snoop in their faculty files. I try to infiltrate them and gain intelligence of their operations without disrupting anything. I sneak into their cars and leave no fingerprints. I don't try to change them, I change myself to make the general atmosphere more balanced. When I don't like someone, I stay away from them.

[Myu-to]

I guess I am more of the opposite. I have goofy friends and serious friends. I'm more serious when I am with serious people, and I am more goofy when I am with the goofy people. That being said, if a person is too serious then I will be extra goofy just to fuck with them.

Which annoys you more, someone that is way too serious, or someone that is way too goofy?

[Nuzzolese]

He had a bandage on his right hand this morning. I asked him about it and he seemed to have forgotten it but he covered it up. That was courteous, right?

He said he sliced it open while working at home and sewed it up himself, gave himself 11 stitches. Gave himself stitches!


At the end of my lunch break I saw him pull into the parking lot. He drives a navy jeep cherokee and he had a dog in the back of it. It was like a german shephard I think. It was shaggy. Before he got out, he leaned into the back and I swear it looked like he was looking into the dog's eyes and telling it something important. It licked his chin and laid down in the back. It was kind of cute and sweet. He must have some feelings if he likes dogs.

After he went inside, I went up to the jeep to try to say hi to his dog, but when it saw me at the window it started snarling and growling at me. I was pretty scared. I ran.


What is with this guy?! He's so weird!!

[Freebasser]

It must've been reading this thread.

[Adam]

Nuzz's world sounds amazing. I'm pretty oblivious to what is going on around me.

[mickill]

He probably cuts himself, to see if he still feels.

[cookiepuss]

if you wanna get to the bottom of this guy I suggest you check out the work of Dr. Paul Ekman. he is the foremost authority on facial expressions in relation to emotion:
http://www.paulekman.com/

there are 7 universal facial expressions, and thousands of learned cultural expressions. According to Ekman even people who have learned to control thier emotions, still "leak" clues to what they are feeling through subtle expressions known as micro expressions. I guarantee this guy is exhibiting mirco expressions, you just need to learn to read them.

but keep in mind that you might learn to recognize a subtle emotion on his face, but there is still no way to read what that emotion pertains to or who it might be directed at. for that you need to be able to ask the right questions and get him to open up.

[Nuzzolese]

fascinating.




He did time in juvie when he was 14, for vandalism. It was in his faculty file.

[Echewta]

On page four of this thread, you are going to be writing about how you had to shoot the dog. Because it knew.

[Helvete]

Now this interesting! It's like a movie, where Nuzz starts prying into this guys life, merely as a curiosity, and then things she never imagined start to unfold.

[Bob]

On page four of this thread, you are going to be writing about how you had to shoot the dog. Because it knew.

lol

[skra75]

I think all British People are vulcans. Sorry British People :(

[Dorothy Wood]

He said he sliced it open while working at home and sewed it up himself, gave himself 11 stitches. Gave himself stitches!





HOT

[Adam]

I think all British People are vulcans. Sorry British People :(

hehe, other week I was talking to my friend in america and I used the word logical a few times when we was talking about something quite serious (emotionally) and she compared me to a vulcan...

[Helvete]

I think all British People are vulcans. Sorry British People :(

You've not met any British people, have you?

[Nuzzolese]

Normally with these kinds of setbacks I'd be deterred from trying to get to know someone. But I think, I will refuse to give up, for now.

I asked some of the residents about him. They were like "ughh, yuck. Creepy." They don't like him. They think he's a bad teacher, he's boring, he doesn't follow up on stuff with them. I just think he doesn't relate to people is all.

I feel an uncharacteristic (of me) urge to be warm and nurturing around him. I think he needs someone to care about him. He seems very alone. Not lonely, but solitary.

I embarrassed myself again. He calls everyone by a title and their last name; Dr. So-and-so, Miss So-and-so... I was like "Oh, you can call me (firstname)"
I was afraid just then that I was offending him. He nodded and ...smiled! ...Sort of. It was the closest thing to a smile I'd seen on him. It was sort of like his mouth closed in on itself and moved a quarter inch upwards.

Maybe I do make him uncomfortable and I'm being rude and intrusive. I'm at that point where I either need to rein myself in or stay the course. I hate to think I'm being annoying. But what a loss if I just abandon ship!

[b i o n i c]

you're on a mission to be the special one to brek heeeem

[hpdrifter]

Maybe he's a vampire.

Also, kinda sounds like you're attracted to him.

[Echewta]

Nuzz shows interest in odd ball.

Odd ball finally notices cute girl noticing him.

Odd ball shows interest.

Cute girl hobby over, says "No."

Odd ball left dejected.

Cute girl goes along her merry way.

[Nuzzolese]

Maybe I do want to be the special one, the only one who understands him, the only one he shows his humanity to, the first person to make him laugh. It's all about me.

And I actually don't find him attractive, physically. He's kind of pointy-looking. I suppose I am attracted to the notion of figuring him out. And I'm not a cute girl. I'm just a medium-league lady.

Maybe I could be his friend. Maybe I could help him.

[Nuzzolese]

Nuzz shows interest in odd ball.

Odd ball finally notices cute girl noticing him.

Odd ball shows interest.

Cute girl hobby over, says "No."

Odd ball left dejected.

Cute girl goes along her merry way.

Autobiographical?

[ms.peachy]

So wait, what happened with the dog? did he leave it alone in the car in the summer? That's like, a crime, isn't it?

[b i o n i c]

i was thinking that too.

i wonder if he'd cry if the aspca cama-a-knockin. i wonder if he'd lose his cool if they took ole fido away.

does he drive an enormous hummer and leave the air on or something?

[Nuzzolese]

So wait, what happened with the dog? did he leave it alone in the car in the summer? That's like, a crime, isn't it?

No, no! It was in a covered parking deck so it was in the shade, and the windows were cracked. I don't know how long he was planning to leave the dog there. I didn't see him after that.

No hummer. A jeep, though. I've heard some stereotypes about Jeep people. They're adventurers, or they pretend to be.

[b i o n i c]

hey! jeep people are the most awesomest of all awesomeness. this guy is alright(y)

[Nuzzolese]

i was thinking that too.

i wonder if he'd cry if the aspca cama-a-knockin. i wonder if he'd lose his cool if they took ole fido away.

does he drive an enormous hummer and leave the air on or something?

If they did, he might smother the dog with a pillow
"I won't let them take you!"

Maybe that already happened with a different dog, and that's really how he cut his hand!

[b i o n i c]

no, that was probably the tranny prostitute in his basement

[Nuzzolese]

I can't imagine him doing anything sexual. He seems asexual.

Now I feel like he knows what I'm thinking and that I've said all of this to other people. I'm just paranoid whenever I talk about a person behind their backs. I can't hide my thoughts, they show on my face. He knows! HE KNOWS!!

[Adam]

Ask him if he likes The Beastie Boys

[Freebasser]

Better yet; Get him to sign up here and start posting!

[Adam]

Better yet; Get him to sign up here and start posting!

that was phase 2

[hpdrifter]

I maintain that he is a vampire.

[Echewta]

I can't imagine him doing anything sexual. He seems asexual.


Yup, Jeep owner.

[Echewta]

Autobiographical?

Yes, very :(

[Nuzzolese]

I maintain that he is a vampire.

But he goes out into the sunlight quite often. And I think I've seen his reflection in the glass cabinets.

This made me think of something though. He could be a seriously closeted homosexual.

[Nuzzolese]

Yes, very :(

Do you want to talk about it?

[Echewta]

*Shuffles feet*

Maybe, I dunno.

[hpdrifter]

Well we had a discussion recently on vampire lore and some legends indicate that they can hang out in sunlight and do have reflections.

Vampire is clearly the only plausible explanation.

[Ghouls_Night]

This sounds like a horror movie waiting to happen.

[Nuzzolese]

Well we had a discussion recently on vampire lore and some legends indicate that they can hang out in sunlight and do have reflections.

Vampire is clearly the only plausible explanation.

And that thing in his back seat was one of the hounds of hell, to protect him like the vampire in The Lost Boys!

This feels so exciting, it's a shame it will amount to nothing I'm sure. :(

[Ghouls_Night]

And that thing in his back seat was one of the hounds of hell, to protect him like the vampire in The Lost Boys!

This feels so exciting, it's a shame it will amount to nothing I'm sure. :(


That's what Sam thought.. Better recruit the Frog Brothers!!

[Adam]

have you googled his name yet?

[cosmo105]

Give him a dreamcatcher. Say it made you think of him, and wink. Then resume business as usual. See how he reacts.

[Echewta]

A dreamcatcher or "Brainstorm" with Christopher Walken on DVD.

[b i o n i c]

d'aaaaaaahhhhh just put an upside down thumbtack on his seat and be done with it

[skra75]

You've not met any British people, have you?

nah, some of my closest friends are British I still think they are Vulcans

[Adam]

maybe your friends are Vulcans but they said they are British to hide who they really are?

[Echewta]

where is the daily update? This thread is like my soaps or stories. Depending on where in the world you live. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1Z93S7Smh0)

[b i o n i c]

she put a thumbtack on his chair and his cyberskin butt pad exploded

[hpdrifter]

He's not at work today because he has to feed.

[Nuzzolese]

He seemed to be in his office most of the day, which is not typical. Usually he has a busier schedule. We did say good morning to each other, though. That was a huge moment for me. He seemed unaffected by it. But that is so HIM!

[Myu-to]

I get worried about Nuzz's safety. One of these times she's going to be right, and end up mounted on a wall or something.

And not in a good way.

[Echewta]

I think the Nuzz can handle her business just fine.

[Myu-to]

I'm talking about her safety here, not masturbation.

[b i o n i c]

no, really, she can handle her her business just fine

[Nuzzolese]

The scariness is part of the excitement, though! He sent me an email because he wants me to come to his office to help him out with our new billing software. The email was from 6 this morning. He knows I don't get here until 8. I wonder how early he comes in.

I''m so nervous; Alone with him in his cold little office at the end of the hall by the water fountain that hums seemingly nonstop so that you think it will perpetually provide you with mind-lulling white noise, only to shut off suddenly and plunge you into heart-stopping silence at the most awkward moment possible!

I also have to bring him his clean lab coats later. The question is, should I bring him his coats when I go to meet with him about the billing - making myself look efficient and on top of things, or bring them to him later as an excuse to try to talk to him again?

[Echewta]

I think you should bring him his lab coat by wearing it and telling him "If you want it, come and get it." Unplug the water fountain first.

[Helvete]

That's a good idea! Clothes underneath are optional.

[Echewta]

I was going to suggest something like that but I wanted to remain a gentleman.

[Helvete]

Good thing I am never afraid of bringing the tone down.

[Nuzzolese]

What would I do without this forum?

[TAL]

Have a life.

[Adam]

you'd be telling some weird friend who then probably call the FBI

[Nuzzolese]

I think I understand him a little bit better now. It's hard for him to ask for help. He likes to be self-sufficient. I suspect that he goes to great lengths to avoid people. I think I need to control myself around him because I can tell now he doesn't like the excess or what he thinks is phony. I could be a great relief to him around here if I tried. And I was wrong. He does have a sense of humor, it's just really dry and reserved. He doesn't have good joke delivery but somehow that's endearing.

He's a lot like my boyfriend in how he hates the public and society and he just wants to be left alone, he's disgusted by how oversexed and dramatic some people can be, and he just wants to focus on his work and he can't quite get into being social. My boyfriend hides it a lot better, and can be extremely charming. But they must have a lot in common.

I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an idiot but compared to him, that's quite accurate. Right now I don't want admiration. I don't think he admires anyone. I'm just aiming for tolerance.

What if he actually wants to have someone to relate to but he is so socially and emotionally handicapped that he's trapped inside his own mind like in THE CELL?

[Nuzzolese]

I feel odd. I can't stop thinking about him. And it's not like I have a crush on him or anything like that at all. And I can't talk to anyone about him, either. I'm sure my boyfriend would just get jealous and think what I already said isn't the case. And if I bring him up too many times at work my other coworkers start to look at me funny. Ahh, I get worked up over things like this sometimes. Maybe eventually it will pass over. It's just some strange fascination. (Bowie! ha!) But seriusly. I'm becoming unhinged. And it's not just because I want to figure him out and solve a puzzle! It can't just be that. I need to get a grip.

[Bob]

he sounds like me

[Big Gus]

Lol! Nuzz is totally hawt for Spock!

I never saw this turn of events!

[Echewta]

I'm very intersted in this waterfountain and the humming it makes. Is it stainless steel? Does it sweat at all? Is it a floor model or attached to the wall? As an amature director thinking this movie out, the look and sound of this fountain and how Nuzz walks down the hallway to his office is really important.

[Nuzzolese]

It's attached to the wall, and it's mostly silver stainless steel but the body of it is wrapped in what looks like woven tan metal of some kind. It goes from the floor up to my belly button and I don't think it sweats. Nobody uses it. The spout is all greenish and gross. There might be a puddle in the back of it, I'm not sure. I never actually LOOK at it. It's just a fixture there. When I walk down to his office I try to walk really softly, toes first. I try to lift my rib cage up and out of my body as if that will make me step even softer, like I'm floating. It's just so I can listen to possibly overhear anything. But of course I can't hear a thing because of the waterfountain and because he's so quiet.

Other ladies here think he's rude. He IS kind of rude. But I feel so strongly that there's something behind it. Iunno. Whatevs. Maybe he hates women, and therefore me.

[Nuzzolese]

Well, until the next episode...

[Echewta]

Facinating. I better budget 2 days for this shot because there is a lot to capture. The water fountain sounds like it can stay. No need for a water fountain double.

Lifting the rib cage up. Stupéfier!

[Echewta]

So I have a 12 pages of a script so far about a young woman who is inquisitive about the silent and slightly male coworker at the end of the hall. Does her curiousity get the best of her?

I've already thought about the woman looking at his car in the parking lot and trying to be sneaky only to have a dog suddenly startle her and the audience as it barks at our heroine. Is the dark barking in warning or asking to be saved?

The chilling water cooler that is noisey near his office. The green stuff growing on the fountain spout warning you not to drink from it, as if warning her not to open his door. She knows its dangerous, yet she does anyway.

Still trying to figure out what she finds in his lab coat.

Its a slow day at work.

[Nuzzolese]

Against her better judgement she attempts to satiate her ravenous curiosity. All signs say "back off! turn away! beware of dog!" All instincts of self preservation should be forcing her to keep a distance and avoid eye-contact.

But somewhere in the middle of the raging tempest of aversion is a tiny lifeboat of tenacity, and it's flashing her in the eyes with an unignorably bright light. It's a light that pleads "keep going! There's something there for you! You'll never sleep at night if you don't find out!" Is this stupidity or bravery? No guts no glory, right? But at the expense of whose guts? How will this end? Will it ever end? Who stands to get hurt?

If only it were this thrilling outside of my own imagination.

[Echewta]

But is this a story to find out who the man down the hall is? Or are we going to be shocked to find out who the woman is in the end????

[Echewta]

Ending:

Something happens to the woman, death or something tragic. Zoom into the watercooler, zoom back out to have it be 50 years before with the same man in the office and a different woman being curious...fade to black. Unknown band music cues up while credits roll.

[Nuzzolese]

It's over already?

[Echewta]

Over? I just set it up for multiple sequels eventually going straight to DVD and make millions as well as being a spring board for a few young actors/actresses to go to the big time. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__VQX2Xn7tI)

Plus, its missing a middle. Gotta have an end to write to.

[Nuzzolese]

I have a few theories, and a plan. I'm going to bring him food and see what happens. I always fall back on food. It's my old standby guage.

Did you know he's left-handed and he doesn't listen to music? Yep. Not any music, ever. "It's irritating to me."

[Echewta]

you should bake him a cake with a cd inside of the Beatles. How can he find that irritating?

What is your boyfriend gonna think of you baking for a man at work thats left handed? Mine would freak.

[Helvete]

Did you know he's left-handed and he doesn't listen to music? Yep. Not any music, ever. "It's irritating to me."

Woah, woah. No music. Any. At all?! The left handedness I can deal with, but no music? Seriously that is weird. EVERYONE listens to some music, surely?! Even if it's weird music, at least some music.

You've just revealed another layer to this twisted person. I mean, we had this weird kid back at school that didn't play video games or listen to popular music. Or like girls. But still, he liked classical and I think he was just embarrassed about revealing he was gay or asexual or something.

[Bob]

no music ever, or no music at work?

[hpdrifter]

Ending:

Something happens to the woman, death or something tragic. Zoom into the watercooler, zoom back out to have it be 50 years before with the same man in the office and a different woman being curious...fade to black. Unknown band music cues up while credits roll.

That's okay but I kinda like the other idea of a twist ending where it's the woman we find out something about...

[Nuzzolese]

I won't bake something especially for him. I'll bake something that is easily served in pieces, like lemon squares. I'll give one to everyone. My boyfriend won't mind, then. I told him about this guy and he goes "What, are you in love with him now or something?" Ha. ha.

I don't want to think so insensitively as to call this a project. Somewhere between love and a project. Oh! That sounds like a movie title! Only Call it "Somewhere between love and the projects" and it's a "Spike Lee Joint" *barf!*

He made it sound as if he doesn't enjoy music at all, period. Of course, that could just be something he's decided to say in order to avoid talking about himself. You know, how some people say "I don't watch TV" because they don't watch any one program regularly.

[Echewta]

That's okay but I kinda like the other idea of a twist ending where it's the woman we find out something about...

How about at the end of the movie, we follow the man home. He parks in his driveway, lets the dog out of the car and to his front door. His look is of worry as he walks in and lays his coat and briefcase on the table. He sits and puts his hands over the top of his head in frustration for being pursed by the woman at work. Everything looks normal though hes been the weird one through out the story.

Then we follow the woman home. Out of her car, up the elevator to her apartment. Door opens and something isn't quite right. Into her bedroom where she lays her coat down and all over the wall are pictures of him, bizzare scribbles, etc. Turns out she is the crazy one.

[Nuzzolese]

I just want to wear his skin, what's so crazy about that?!!:confused:

[jabumbo]

I don't want to think so insensitively as to call this a project. Somewhere between love and a project. Oh! That sounds like a movie title! Only Call it "Somewhere between love and the projects" and it's a "Spike Lee Joint" *barf!*


hey
(http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2001_Save_the_Last_Dance/2001_save_the_last_dance_007.jpg)

[b i o n i c]

do you have a camera phone? we need to see this guy!

[mickill]

Have you seen the movie Following? I think it was Christopher Nolan's second movie. It's pretty good.

I'd be careful. You might find out something about this guy you'd rather not know about. Like he's a pedophile. Or a werewolf. Or even a scientologist.

[Randetica]

i saw a kinda hot guy at aldi today, wasnt attracted to anyone in ages

almost feel alive now

[Nuzzolese]

There was a reception today, for people who have worked here for a while. I got honored with an engraved pen, and some cake. He didn't show up so after it was over I stopped by his office and offered him my slice of cake. He looked at it like it was a dead squirrel and he asked if it was any good. I told him I didn't know, because I didn't eat any of it. He said okay and he took it and I left. I didn't even have to bake anything! I'm glad, too. I might have been offended if he'd reacted that way to something I made.

[Helvete]

A picture, you simply must!

[Echewta]

This gentleman sounds very charming.

[Myu-to]

I'd be careful. You might find out something about this guy you'd rather not know about. Like he's a pedophile. Or a werewolf. Or even a scientologist.
Thanks Mike, that's what was trying to say. This guy maybe an interesting subject to study and all, but there is something not right with him. Just maybe Nuzz helps him out of his shell, or maybe he helps her see the salvation that only Tom Cruise can give. Either way, I feel that some nuts shouldn't be cracked.

[Nuzzolese]

he sounds like me

I don't believe you. From what you've told us, you seem like a person who really wants to be social. You go to parties. You have had roommates. Maybe you're shy sort of but I always thought that you wanted social interaction.

[Nuzzolese]

Have you seen the movie Following? I think it was Christopher Nolan's second movie. It's pretty good.

I'd be careful. You might find out something about this guy you'd rather not know about. Like he's a pedophile. Or a werewolf. Or even a scientologist.

I did see that, a long time ago. I liked it. I think that afterwards I went around telling people about it and describing it as being a lot like Memento, not realizing it was by the same person. Smart.

I think that I would want to know if he was a criminal or a pedophile. Then I could turn him in and be a hero. If I could crack the mind of the serial killer, I could be like Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs, with my good bag and my cheap shoes.

[b i o n i c]

photo! at least a sketch or somethin

[Nuzzolese]

Okay, I'll try, but I don't know how I'm going to get one without making it obvious!

[b i o n i c]

dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnn

[jabumbo]

flip your hair, that usually works

[mickill]

photo! at least a sketch or somethin

Yeah, just stand at his door and start drawing him all inconspicuous-like.

[Dorothy Wood]

I think I should drive down to your workplace and pretend to be maintenance man (I'll wear a mustache) that has to do some work in his office on the vents...but I'll really be installing a hidden camera!

[mickill]

Or drawing him!

[Dorothy Wood]

with an etch-a-sketch

[b i o n i c]

Yeah, just stand at his door and start drawing him all inconspicuous-like.

dont forget the easel and the beret

[hpdrifter]

I like the turn this thread has taken.

[Nuzzolese]

There's a picture of him but I'd have to scan it. I don't know if I want you to know what he looks like! What if someone contacts him and tells him about this thread? No one can know about my online persona. I'd be mortified!

[Helvete]

PM it to me then, I must see what he looks like! I'm not going to contact him, and surely anyone that knows him and knows you would be able to tell exactly who you were talking about anyway. You've nothing to worry about.

[Echewta]

Does he have a baby? Send in the dingo...

[mickill]

There's a picture of him but I'd have to scan it. I don't know if I want you to know what he looks like! What if someone contacts him and tells him about this thread? No one can know about my online persona. I'd be mortified!

That's a lot of dots you'd have to connect. I don't think anybody outside of this forum will be finding out about anything anytime soon.

I'd be more concerned with someone noticing you scanning his picture. But not even.

[Nuzzolese]

Okay. I will! I promise! But I have to leave work early today for a doctor's appointment! I'm not skipping out on this. I just need some time.

[Nuzzolese]

Okay, this is only going to be up here very temporarily. Just in time for me to gather my stuff and get out of here. So look now and then I'm deleteing it. He deserves privacy! You know, he deserves better than this!

[Nuzzolese]

Down it goes. If you want to see it, I may put it up temporarily again. But for now it's gone because I don't want to leave it out there for days!! Jeeze. Alright. Have a good weekend.

[b i o n i c]

D: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoIvd3zzu4Y)

[Echewta]

I missed it but I'm more interested in seeing a picture of the waterfountain, if you don't mind.

[Freebasser]

I don't think anybody saw it. Put it up for longer!

[Bob]

i missed it too. put it back! or pm it to me or something. i have to know.....

[Helvete]

WTF WHERE IS IT?! Show me again.

[mickill]

I saved it. It's here. (http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Travel/Pix/pictures/2009/6/1/1243873318281/Getting-a-massage-in-a-ba-001.jpg) I'll be taking it down in a minute, so gawk now. This is only temporary.

Okay, it's gone now.

[Helvete]

Ahahaha. He is creepy indeed.

[hpdrifter]

I missed it again. Oh well.

[mickill]

Okay, here (http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Travel/Pix/pictures/2009/6/1/1243873318281/Getting-a-massage-in-a-ba-001.jpg) it is again. Just temporarily.

Okay, it's gone now.

[hpdrifter]

Oh right. I get it.

[hpdrifter]

Jackass.

[mickill]

Did you really spend the 25 minutes stewing over that before coming back to get mad at me? I'm truly hurt by that.

[Dorothy Wood]

wha happen?

[Bob]

she couldn't get past his guard dog

[mickill]

Shit was dope.

Real dope.

[Nuzzolese]

I keep getting to him here and there, mostly about work. If it's not a personal topic, the hinges on his mouth will loosen up considerably. But I can infer a few things; I can tell which people around here he really hates, and I found out he's writing a book but I couldn't get him to spill what it's about.

As for the music thing, he explained that he doesn't mind some music if it doesn't have words, but he can't understand why people would just go around listening to music all the time. In his words, he thought that was like going around with a photo album of your favorite pictures, looking at them all the time. Heh. I guess he has a point.

There's this drama queen bitch here, she's always gossiping about people, being judgemental. She whispered a few mean things about him and I got so angry and defensive, I actually spoke up to her - which is something I've never done because it's just not worth it to incur her wrath. I told her really sternly that "Just because people are quiet and like to keep to themselves it doesn't mean there's something wrong with them! You shouldn't say things like that about people you don't even know!" My face was all red and I immediately regretted it because she got all self-righteous about it and everyone around was staring silently like "oh shit!" but I calmed myself and made a joke out of it. She's been ignoring me ever since. Uggh, I always try to avoid these kinds of things, too!

[hpdrifter]

It's all so compelling!

killa: yes, yes I did. But I'm over it now.

Also, HOT SLUT COMMITTEE? Really?

[Echewta]

I don't understand his point about carrying around a photo album. LISTENING to music, which can be complex and effect different parts of your system, and comparing it to a LOOKING at photo album doesn't make any sense. Its like saying that he doesn't understand why people would have a cat when you have a TV.

I hope the water cooler has to much pressure and gets him in the eye.

[b i o n i c]

in the movie, the drama queen gets stalked by vulkan late at night as she's running a bubble bath with curlers in her hair and the things between her toes.. totally indulging herself.

vulkan creeps up behind her and silently slashes her throat while she's reading a corny romance novel buried in bubbles. the bubbles turn red and pink as they overflow out the tub

vulkan drops the hair dryer in the tub and calmly walks away as sparks and smoke overtake the house and it explodes as he walks off the front lawn.

close up of hand dropping a bloody half eaten heart shaped box of chocolates, pan out...

explosions reflect on vulkans bloody footprints

[mickill]

Also, HOT SLUT COMMITTEE? Really?

I'm sorry, but I do not understand the question.

[mickill]

Its like saying that he doesn't understand why people would have a cat when you have a TV.


I've never really understood that myself.

[hpdrifter]

Wow.

</incredibly obtuse>

[mickill]

Everything about me is obscure and shrouded in mystery.

[Nuzzolese]

mikill's a trick question wrapped in a private joke.

[Nuzzolese]

Did I mention that I had asked him if that cake from before was any good? He confessed that he didn't eat it afterall. He confessed that he took it just to be polite. I thanked him for his politeness. I told him I didn't like frosting (which isn't true at all!) and he just nodded and looked uncomfortable. Then he changed the subject. Doesn't Eat. Very interesting.

[Bob]

Did I mention that I had asked him if that cake from before was any good? He confessed that he didn't eat it afterall. He confessed that he took it just to be polite. I thanked him for his politeness. I told him I didn't like frosting (which isn't true at all!) and he just nodded and looked uncomfortable. Then he changed the subject. Doesn't Eat. Very interesting.

this guy is so me, only older, and successful (i'm assuming he's successful i mean he's a doctor, he has a dog)

[mickill]

i mean he's a doctor, he has a dog)

...he has an office, a stalker...

[Nuzzolese]

this guy is so me, only older, and successful (i'm assuming he's successful i mean he's a doctor, he has a dog)

and a Jeep. I have his address, I could drive by his house to see what it looks like.

[Bob]

and a Jeep. I have his address, I could drive by his house to see what it looks like.

i was about to say jeep! i mean i don't actually like jeeps but i'd like to be able to afford one!

[Freebasser]

So wait, this guy is driving around in his jeep with his cat and his television in the back and he's got his favourite music blaring away and... I think I've missed the point.

[b i o n i c]

i was about to say jeep! i mean i don't actually like jeeps but i'd like to be able to afford one!

im selling mine. jeeps are cheap as hell. it comes with a dog.

[Nuzzolese]

But what model of jeep do you drive?

[mickill]

Probably a Suzuki Samurai

[b i o n i c]

limited edition.

[Dorothy Wood]

So wait, this guy is driving around in his jeep with his cat and his television in the back and he's got his favourite music blaring away and... I think I've missed the point.


ha, Lol, *party*

[Nuzzolese]

I actually drove past his house last night. That's not stalker-ish, is it? I only drove past it once. Or, twice if you count the fact that I wasn't sure it was the right place the first time. Thrice if you count my last turn-around, which wasn't really driving PAST it, I just didn't want to get lost in his neighborhood.

It was a nice house, small, but not what I expected at all. I expected some kind of uber modern fortress, all cement and glass and metal. It just looked like an old house, square, two story, with bleached out bricks that had some red blushing through (like blood!) And this morning I had to put something in his office so I opened a desk drawer but right away I felt awful invading his privacy so I shut it before I could see anything.



Bob, if this person is an older you, what do you think I should do? Should I leave you alone?

What if Vulkan actually, literally, is an older you, and you and I live in alternate universes connected only by this message board.

[Bob]

that is actually kind of stalkerish. you might actually be a stalker now, now that i think of it

as for what i would want if i were him, it depends on if you're a jerk or not. if you're annoying and i hate you, i want you to leave me alone, but if i like you (not like like you or anything) then i don't mind the attention, i just don't know how to react to it like a normal person. you wouldn't be able to tell the difference though

[Dorothy Wood]

alright that's it, I need to see a picture of this guy or I'm going to implode.

[mickill]

Okay, here (http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Travel/Pix/pictures/2009/6/1/1243873318281/Getting-a-massage-in-a-ba-001.jpg) it is again. Just temporarily.

Okay, it's gone now.

[Nuzzolese]

I like calling him Vulkan, as if that's his name. Let's all do that.

[mickill]

Or let's all call him Swarley. As if that's his name, Swarley.

[Nuzzolese]

Can he be Vulkan Swarley, MD? Or does Swarley Vulkan sound better? To me, Swarley Vulkan sounds like a description rather than a name.

[Bob]

the swarley vulkan sounds like a pub

[mickill]

No, just Swaaaaarley.

[hpdrifter]

You guys are killin' it this week.

[Freebasser]

Woah, let's not get ahead of ourselves here - nobody needs to kill Swarley. Sure, the guy likes his privacy, but that's no reason to take him out.

[Echewta]

Take him out to dinner? Thats a good idea. She should. I bet you he orders two hard boiled eggs with the shell on and has a whole routine on how to peel it. I bet you he makes faces while his consentration is threatened by her questioning.

[jackrock]

We're gonna be in the news!

[Bob]

Take him out to dinner? Thats a good idea. She should. I bet you he orders two hard boiled eggs with the shell on and has a whole routine on how to peel it. I bet you he makes faces while his consentration is threatened by her questioning.

let me know when you finish this movie, i want to see it

[Nuzzolese]

Vulkan was in a good mood today, either because it's Friday or because nobody is here. But of course, nobody is here because it's Friday. Most people wouldn't be able to tell one mood from the next with him, but I can. I can read his subtle cues. If he's in a good mood he moves more slowly and seems bored rather than his usual expression of being deep in concentration.

You can't talk to him about personal things, getting-to-know-you type of stuff about movies or politics or people you know. There has to be a point, a purpose to the conversation. He doesn't seem to want to hear anyone's opinion unless it's a reasoning type of thing.

I have to change my whole approach to conversations if I talk to him, because if it strays into rambling or aimlessness it physically pains him to be there and listen to it. This is something I can totally relate to, I just thought it was only a small part of my secret bitchiness and selfishness. I didn't think I would ever see it so obviously in someone else.

I was asking him about how much he pays for cable (these are the kinds of things he talks about) and if it was worth it. I explained to him the way Blockbuster Online works, and the prices. He asked me about their selection. He said he never goes to see movies in the theater, only rents them.

It was so hard not to get into talking about movies I'd seen and if I liked them or not! I mean, that's what a normal conversation would be, something like "oh, yes, I've seen that, that's a good one, you should see blahblahblah II...and so on"

I asked him "I'm sorry, I'm not annoying you, am I?" He looked right at me and said "No, not really."


Not really!! (y) :D

[Nuzzolese]

I still have yet to see him eat anything.

[Bob]

I still have yet to see him eat anything.

maybe he doesn't like eating in front of people. i've got that

[b i o n i c]

i like this guy(y)

[Nuzzolese]

maybe he doesn't like eating in front of people. i've got that


Yeah, maybe. Maybe he's on a diet.

[Echewta]

Any normal dude would have picked up that you so like him.

[Nuzzolese]

But maybe he doesn't like me.

[mickill]

Maybe he just like the idea of there being a you.

[Bob]

maybe he displays affection by being cold to you

[mickill]

Maybe you're the tarragon that's been missing from his life omelette.

[Bob]

tarragon goes with omelets? i don't even know what tarragon is. isn't that a kind of turtle?

[Dorothy Wood]

no, a tarragon is a kind of dragon.

[mickill]

You're thinking of Eragon.

But tarragon is similar to dragon's wort, which is, you know, commonly found in omelettes at Denny's or IHOP and such.

[TAL]

Vulkan was in a good mood today, either because it's Friday or because nobody is here.

But you were there. Or are you a nobody?

[Echewta]

I'm pretty sure he's found out by now and has her tied up and gagged in the water cooler. She can see out of the vents but can't move to get peoples attention. Worse, she is at hip level and has to stare at crouches when people go to wet their whistle.

[mickill]

Somebody should contact the Baton Rouge police dept.

[Echewta]

I wonder if a makeup company has ever come out with a lipstick that was "Baton Rouge" in color.

[Nuzzolese]

I'm totally his safe zone person now. He comes to me for anything he has to do where he needs someone else. He doesn't usually come to me literally, usually it's an email. But that's the same thing! The point is, he chooses me.

I know he doesn't like when people bring their babies around. His hand seems better now. He's giving a lecture on "the nuts and bolts of research" at the university. His dog is, in fact, a german shepherd, and it's a female.

He does eat, I saw him at a grocery store! I couldn't believe I actually saw him out in the world. I said Hi to him but we didn't make small talk or anything. He was holding a box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds but he was in the produce section.

[Helvete]

I still don't know what he looks like.

[insertnamehere]

To me it sounds like he has Asperger's.

Slightly related: I'm in love with Young Spock from the new Star Trek flick.

[Nuzzolese]

I considered Asperger's which might explain his seeming lack of emotional intelligence.

Turns out he's really into The X-files so we've been talking about that. I actually caught him coming into the building from the parking deck yesterday and we talked all the way up the stairs to the office. He doesn't like elevators. It was a little awkward but a little exciting at the same time. I thought any second he was going to ditch me without warning and just start walking away.

[Nuzzolese]

WHY didn't I ask him if he liked Star Trek? Dang. I could have asked him which character he identified with the most.

[mickill]

My guess would be Data.

[hpdrifter]

You really think he's a Next Generation man?

[mickill]

So you're thinking Andromeda.

[hpdrifter]

I'm going with whichever one had Captain Janeway.

[insertnamehere]

Sometimes I feel like
I have Aspberger's Syndrome
But I'm bad at math

[b i o n i c]

i really like this guy..

i cant STAND it when people bring their babies to work either.

[Nuzzolese]

I can relate to a lot of his feelings about socializing. I usually just swallow my feelings, though, and try to go with the flow of things. I've always tried to be game for whatever was going on around me. He's the opposite. He refuses to play along. And I love that. I want people like him to know that they're okay just the way they are - you know, in case they ever doubted it.

Doesn't it sound like he has a social anxiety disorder? This is what I know about him; he's impatient and annoyed with emotional people, or personable people who talk about their families or weekends. He keeps a physical distance from most people.

But here's the breakthrough! He had to sign a few things for me, and he stood by my desk signing them all. It took about two full minutes, which is a long time when you thing about standing near someone! He could have taken them down to his office and brought them back, but he didn't. I was silent while he did this, just letting him be next to me without pressuring him to say anything. And then he handed them to me and he left. And that was all. And it was so painful for me!

This is killing me! This is the hardest friend/curiousity challenge I've ever experienced. I know I won't get anywhere unless I take this approach, or nonapproach. But it might not get me anything at all. I know nothing about him. I'm sure that once I do, it'll just be boring old life stuff like anybody else and I'll lose interest. But it's taking too long!!

[b i o n i c]

the only way to really know if he has any feelings is to pay someone to beat the shit out of you and leave you for dead by his car, then see what happens

[mickill]

I think bionic makes a strong point here. That's how I met my wife.

[Nuzzolese]

This is a good idea! I don't want to really get hurt but maybe just a cut or something. If he sees that I'm bleeding and he's concerned, you think, maybe? I could try walking in high heels which is always risky, and it will help me throw myself down on the hard linoleum floor in front of his office, while carrying a pair of scissors, in my mouth. (y)


He is a trained physician, however, which means that he could decide to help me only out of professional obligation. And likewise if I injure myself near his property, he could decide to help me only to avoid looking guilty. I'd have to draw blood and then have him find me somewhere by accident, somewhere away from his car or office or house. How do you knock yourself unconscious?

[Nuzzolese]

I made a short playlist of songs that I think represent our relationship. I wouldn't play them for him, of course. He doesn't like music with lyrics. It's just for me, so I can have something to listen to while hanging out in the crabapple tree in his backyard.

[mickill]

You could just fall from the tree then.

[Nuzzolese]

I don't want to look stupid, mike!

[mickill]

And I suppose walking around with scissors in your mouth accentuates your vast brainpower!

[Nuzzolese]

It shows that I'm sharp.

[mickill]

Does he have a pool? If you pretend to drown, you might just be able to squeeze a little CPR action out of this. That's like 2nd base.

[Nuzzolese]

I'll think of something this weekend and let you know how it turns out.

[insertnamehere]

no one liked my haiku :(

[Bob]

I can relate to a lot of his feelings about socializing. I usually just swallow my feelings, though, and try to go with the flow of things. I've always tried to be game for whatever was going on around me. He's the opposite. He refuses to play along. And I love that. I want people like him to know that they're okay just the way they are - you know, in case they ever doubted it.

we do doubt it!

[Myu-to]

Not really!! (y) :D
I'm not sure why that tickled me so much, but it did.(y)

[Echewta]

I have a feeling the Vulcan has taken her away.

[b i o n i c]

they were gonna go on a date with her boyfriend. i bet they all did sex

[Nuzzolese]

This situation has gotten complicated. If you're interested, Vulkan and I have grown close and I don't know what's going on there. He seems to want more from me but I feel ripped in two and neither half of me seems like enough to give anyone.

My boyfriend and I are going through some problems. He has a chronic disease, we found out. It's ruining his life and I feel sorry for him but I am having trouble feeling stronger feelings for him than that. But I can't leave him now he has a disease! How horrible would that be? He can't work and he's depressed and has no money, and depends on me. He's says we'll be together forever and claims to be good for me. I know that's probably true but I'm so unhappy. He met Vulkan but has forgotten about him now that he has bigger issues to deal with. He talks about suicide but aaahhh I don't think he's serious! But I can't tell how deep his depression goes, he shuts me out so rudely!

Vulkan has suggested that he wouldn't have allowed himself to get so close to me if he didn't mean it, and that's flattering. But I'm not sure what more he wants from me. I think he imagines that this is how dating starts. I feel so peaceful with him. It's not romantic but it's liberating in a way.

This is Friday. I hate Fridays because the weekend is coming and I'll have to be home for extended periods of time.

I think I want to run away from my life, be alone. I don't think I'm good enough to be with anyone. I should live alone for the rest of my life and stay out of other people's lives.

Merry Christmas!!

:D

Honestly, though, I'm doing okay. I'm happy at work. I'm happy when I have my free time to do what I want.

I've taken up a new hobby. I make tiny sculptures out of found metal junk that I solder together. I might start selling them.

I'm teaching a little girls' ballet class. I choreographed their winter recital and dudes, it was SO CUTE!

I'm writing more stories and actually finishing them. Most of them have some kind of fantasy element to them, which is odd because I've never been a fan of fantasy writing. I guess I just get bored with the usual stuff about real life, I end up adding a supernatural element.

[Planetary]

unicorns?

[b i o n i c]

we should all run away together. the bbmb misfits of society. im thiiiiiiiis close to becoming a hobo myself. i get kinda sick of fighting and struggling. life would be great on a farm or something. i want to live close to nature. i want to ride a tractor. this place better have central heating.

in all serousness, the "I think I want to run away from my life, be alone. I don't think I'm good enough to be with anyone. I should live alone for the rest of my life and stay out of other people's lives" thing... thats bs. ive heard that and ive said that. that feeling comes from the guilt of staying with someone that you know deep down you probably shouldnt be with even though you have love for them.

i dont think you'd be any happier with vulkan. he's interesting to you and all that but really, subconsciously he's just an escape.

ive been in a very similar situation and i ended up spending the best year of my life "alone". but there will come the time when you yearn to be part of a team again, once the past has melted away a bit /obvious

ps: keep writing and doing things that are you... you're on the right path. /pastor bionic

[Echewta]

whoa.

[Nuzzolese]

Me too on the nature thing! I would love to live surrounded by beautiful scenery. Mountains, evergreens, snow, and maybe live in a large but cozy log cabin. But see, I wouldn't want to be alone there because I'd want someone else to chop wood for the fireplace. My hands are delicate, I blister.

No matter how hard things get in my relationship, I just don't ever want to deal with breaking up. The division of things, finding a new place to live, worrying about how he'll manage without me, feeling like the bad guy. I don't want to feel like the bad guy or have his family hate me. I felt like that before and I don't ever want to do it again.

Vulkan gave me a Christmas present and I was so shocked I thought I was going to pass out. I actually felt dizzy, and blackness was tunnelling my vision for a few seconds. I think it was a bit of that flush of doing something wrong where you feel terrified, but also I was so touched and excited, it was thrilling.
And then I opened it and it was just a gift card, which was so impersonal I was almost embarrassed. A jewelry store. I wonder if he actually went in there with the intention of buying me jewelry and then gave up. I have no idea. He seems like the kind of person who would just give cash anyway, so I don't know. Plus, I sort of work for him in a way and all the doctors give me gifts around this time but usually it's like some cookies their wives made, or an ornament.

I got him some sunglasses, but it was kind of a joke gift and now I don't know if it's a good idea anymore. They look like ray ban way farers, and I thought it would make him smile on the inside, which is usually the only way he smiles. I guess he's like Tyra Banks, he smiles with his eyes. Ha! He's like Tyra Banks!

[Echewta]

In my opinion, someone is setting themselves up for a world of hurt for a long time, based on what they are sharing.

[b i o n i c]

i know, thats rough.. but they're gonna be mad or not eventually anyway. i might be more mad at someone staying with someone i care about when they know there's no future. maybe you should just make your boyfriend dump you.. stop flushing toilets, leave used tampons around, start farting 'accidentally' around him, don't brush your teeth when you're around him, get really naggy...

whoa man, that jewelry store gift certificate is kinda heavy.. i dunno. i dont think id buy anything for a woman at a jewelry store unless something was up. couldnt he have just bought you a bed bath and beyond gift cert or someshit?

i have this fantasy of moving somewhere out in the middle of nowhere and being one of those guys who hunts and fishes (maybe just fishing) for food all the time, have a vegetable garden, burn wood for heat, smash up my modems and live off the grid. fuck chopping wood though... chainsaws!