dudes are so confusing [Archive] - Beastie Boys Message Board

Dorothy Wood

09-07-2009, 03:53 AM

I mean, I don't know what the hell crap is going on with men. it's outrageous. it's like I'm living in victorian england or something and I'm writing letters to a gentleman in a far away land, and I have to wait 3 years before even getting laid. I don't know, that's not a very good explanation.

AGH. tonight was a perfect make out night. and My Age dude was all about hanging out with me...then, we're walking to this girl's house to hang out and play music and he sees a bus and says, "yeah, I should go home". and fuckin leaves. mother fucker. and I'm all, "uh, k bye".

and then like 10 minutes later I get a text from him that says, "want to have brunch tomorrow?" and it's like, "well, yeah, I fucking do, but after you spend the night and we fuckin make out and have fun and wake up and then go." asshole. GOD.

and I won't even get into the younger one, I have no idea what his deal is. there's texting and proclamations, but no action. it's retarded.

nobody none of these guys are for me, I need to just pull out of the whole deal. jesus. don't normal people exist? where can I find some normals? I would like to know.

sjp

09-07-2009, 04:05 AM

wanna make out, then dinner on me horse carriage ride downtown some where?

Michelle*s_Farm

09-07-2009, 04:09 AM

Sorry to hear that. It just sounds like you are hangin' out with the 'wrong guys' for what you need. Not all men would do that. When I like a woman I jump in with two feet and do not leave until it is all over but the crying. This is why I have only had three long-term romantic relationships in my life.

Dorothy Wood

09-07-2009, 04:21 AM

wanna make out, then dinner on me horse carriage ride downtown some where?

what are you wearing?

sjp

09-07-2009, 04:24 AM

jean paul gautier cologne lucky brand jeans and a ben sherman dress shirt

Dorothy Wood

09-07-2009, 04:28 AM

really? that is much fancier than I imagined.

sjp

09-07-2009, 04:30 AM

yup i like nice clothes unless i'm out at a bar with friends usually don't mind dressing up nice.

funk63

09-07-2009, 03:21 PM

stop dating hipsters.

Randetica

09-07-2009, 03:27 PM

yeah, it's wrong to think that only women are confusing

Audio.

09-07-2009, 03:52 PM

wait, why are you dating two dudes?

The Notorious LOL

09-08-2009, 12:02 AM

stop dating hipsters.

this.

HEIRESS

09-08-2009, 12:33 AM

steamroll right into 3rd base with the younger dude. they basically expect you to take charge of the entire situation due to your age difference/they are intimidated by your wisdom.
the rewards will be worth it, even if for a short time period.

DipDipDive

09-08-2009, 12:53 AM

stop dating hipsters.
this.

This is silly. What's the reasoning here? What, only hipster dudes are capable of confusing a lady? Are g's or fratboys less likely to send mixed messages and potentially leave someone with questions or hurt feelings?

Echewta

09-08-2009, 01:04 AM

I think the reasoning is that most hipsters smell like carrot cake.

Dorothy Wood

09-08-2009, 01:58 AM

these guys aren't hipsters.

anyway, I hung out with My Age today. we played fancy mini golf. http://www.thegreenonline.com/home.html

then we went and got stuff from our practice space to take to a bbq. went to Kmart for fun, then to the grocery store to get some bbq fixins. we made some jokes about food. hung out at the bbq. played some scrabs. watched AFV. then we left with our other friend and he was saying how he should've stayed the night there. and other friend says, "you can stay at my place", and I was like, "or you could sleep on one of my cats". then he was like, "that sounds nice". but then other friend split off and it was just me and him and he started reminiscing about our day together. then it came time for him to either come home with me or keep walking to his bus. and we hugged and I said, "the offer's still there". and he was like, "yeah, I'm gonna take the bus." and I just said, "yup, okay, bye".

no idea what to think. the only thing I can figure is that he likes being around me, but isn't attracted to me or something. which is fine I guess, but a little rude considering he knows that I'm attracted to him.

I don't know, it's strange, we're attached to each other and interact like an old married couple sometimes. but we never got to have any of the sex. :(

lolkat

09-08-2009, 02:22 AM

they should all be destroyed (http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/9242/muldoonoi6.png)

paul jones

09-08-2009, 02:52 AM

I confuse myself most of the time.I need sleep.I'll read this later.ciao

Audio.

09-08-2009, 03:53 AM

simple, the other one is gay.

russhie

09-08-2009, 07:23 AM

Tell me about it.

Ex: "I love you, but not enough to be with you right now, I'd love to end up with you eventually, I can really see that, I want that, but I'd be happy if you found someone else who made you happy, I don't miss you, but I want to hook up, it's complicated."

No shit.

And yeah, wtf. We spend our teenage years hearing that guys are all total hornbags that are going to use you just to get laid and when you finally get to a point in your life when you're comfortable with the concept of no strings attached regular sex the dudes who just want to get laid turn into total nutjobs, get attached or are too unavailable to be of any use.

I'm moderately hot and a good conversationalist. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT

rirv

09-08-2009, 07:29 AM

Pheramones.

Nuzzolese

09-08-2009, 10:10 AM

What if the "your age" guy is hiding something from you? It may not be bad, but it could be something he wants to keep private, until he trusts you more. Do you give off the impression that you can be trusted with intimate details of a person's life without judging them, laughing at them, or rejecting them?

I'm thinking, he might have suddenly had to go number two when he saw the bus the first time. And think about it, where's he going to go? He couldn't have dropped a load somewhere without you figuring out what was going on so he had to immediately and without explanation extricate himself from the situation.

Maybe he has some sleep disorder where he snores or talks in his sleep, or he has some complicated grooming ritual where he plucks every hair from his chest with tweezers each night and even though it takes hours and kind of hurts, he also kind of likes the pain and the zen aspect of it all. That's not a total deal-breaker if he's a nice catch but it's probably hard to explain that to girls on the first few dates.

I would say, make a sincere effort to communicate to both of the guys that they can trust you not to humiliate and emasculate them, then if they still levae you frustrated so that you'd rather not deal with them, then pull out. They might be thinking that this whole ambiguity game is enticing to you and makes the whole dating thing more fun.

Dorothy Wood

09-08-2009, 11:38 AM

well, he is a weirdo, so you could be on to something, nuzz.

maybe I should just email him this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z04r_tlWdRs

also, rirv, what do you mean about pheromones?

rirv

09-08-2009, 12:57 PM

Pharoah moans?

b i o n i c

09-08-2009, 01:38 PM

and other friend says, "you can stay at my place", and I was like, "or you could sleep on one of my cats". then he was like, "that sounds nice".

hahah.. excellent pick up line :P

.. maybe the thought of sleeping on a cat didnt sound so comfy and he didnt want to be rude

Dorothy Wood

09-09-2009, 10:36 AM

alright! so the mystery is solved! My Age likes me!

he called me when I was at a birthday dinner, to discuss the fact that we hadn't addressed the Kiss. and then basically explained that he is nervous around me and doesn't know what to do, and keeps chickening out on making moves because he likes me.

and then there's some other stuff, but I suppose I don't really need to broadcast it. in general, we were pretty honest with each other and it was pretty refreshing to not have to "play it cool" or whatever. even though I was still all, "yeah, whatever, no big deal" because I can't help it.

so yeah, what I wanted to happen is happening. that has never happened to me. so, naturally I've already begun to sabotage it by going home with the birthday boy whose dinner I was at. high five!

I mean, I think getting some sexing in before I embark on a 50's style courtship is valid. right? sure.

Nuzzolese

09-09-2009, 11:11 AM

hpdrifter

09-09-2009, 11:34 AM

Well they've only had a coupla dates, right? Yeah they admit they like each other and I can see your point but I think, in the interest of not putting all of one's eggs in one basket and/or moving too fast, it's still okay at this stage.

Nuzzolese

09-09-2009, 01:00 PM

Yeah, you're right. Who cares? He shouldn't have been so hesitant with her. You snooze, you lose.

Dorothy Wood

09-09-2009, 01:43 PM

Ack!! Lemme get this straight: He called to tell you how he feels, which was apparently difficult for him, and you were honest about liking each other... and then you go home with another guy as soon as you hang up the phone!

Nothing dreadfully "wrong" about that, and I don't think it would prevent you from having a good relationship with honest hesitant your-age, it just makes me sad. To think he might have hung up the phone and gone to sit and think about you and feel good about how things are going, meanwhile you're with another person.

But then, I suppose he might have been with another girl. Or perhaps he wouldn't have cared anyway. He's a guy, and lust is different for guys. You seem to think like a guy, when it comes to sex and relationships. But yet they are still confusing to you. :confused:

I didn't go home with Birthday Boy as soon as I hung up the phone! there was accidental karaoke and a foot race in between. I dunno, that guy is awesome in bed and has a great body...it seemed silly to pass it up. I figured I'd celebrate my singleness before possibly finding myself in an insta-relationship.

I guess that could be construed as thinking like a guy...but I think it's just me being sensible. Really, all I want and all I've ever wanted is to have fun and get laid until I find someone I want to marry and have a family with. and I suppose a lot of my frustration over the years has been about how difficult it is to find that person. I've never wanted a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend (well, maybe when I was a teenager). all these dates I've been on have been cute and fun, but also super annoying.

Anyhow, My Age knows I'm kind of a jerk. we balance each other out because he's a softy nice guy. he sees the best in people and is really positive overall, which is good for me. and sometimes he needs to man up, so I can help him with that. because I'm manly. *flexes biceps*
I'm gonna give us a good try and not play with his emotions, because I do like him very much. don't get me wrong, I'm matter of fact, but I'm not cruel.

ha, I just found this: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v350/sarkyd/3869971617_e932940a20.jpg

there he is, with me creepily lurking in the background.

TAL

09-09-2009, 01:53 PM

I made the picture brighter. Nice legs.

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 06:31 PM

I made the picture brighter. Nice legs.

And here is TAL, also creepily lurking in the background.

Freebasser

09-09-2009, 06:46 PM

hpdrifter

09-09-2009, 06:51 PM

Buddy, all they said was they like each other. Now I've never been to the UK but around here that doesn't equate immediately to exclusivity or engagement.

Freebasser

09-09-2009, 06:53 PM

Jesus.

hpdrifter

09-09-2009, 06:55 PM

Seriously, they've been on two dates and had one meaningful conversation.

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 07:02 PM

I see both sides of this. I probably wouldn't have humped another dude in that situation. It wouldn't be worth it to me knowing that word could get around to older guy and my chances with him could be in jeopardy. But then again, older isn't DW's boyfriend, and one of the advantages of being single is humping and having fun.

My heart does break a little for older though because it sounds like it was difficult for him to be honest and I don't think that should be taken lightly.

I dunno. :/

Micodin

09-09-2009, 07:04 PM

and then you can stick to fucking around with all and sundry until you wake up one morning and realise you're 50 and instead of a husband you have 3 cats.

Preach!

paul jones

09-09-2009, 07:05 PM

I love dripping wet pussy

Randetica

09-09-2009, 07:06 PM

You don't sound ready for a stable relationship

why? only cause she has always crushes on like 20 men and is in love with 50 other men and finds 80 other men still cute but only dates 750 "kinda crushes" and has still time for a fuck buddy here, here, here and there

she must have the biggest heart and vagina of the whole universe or mabye she is the universe!

if anything she could teach YOU how to have a healthy relationship, mark my words

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 07:11 PM

I don't understand why you buttholes get your undies all in a bunch when DW talks about humping dudes. I never see the same reaction to checkyourprez's regular posts about fucking in Hondas and getting blown by a different girl each night of his weekend. Is he going to end up single forever with only the company of cats, too? Probably not, right? Because dudes can have detached sex without a problem, huh?

Recognize your double standards.

Micodin

09-09-2009, 07:22 PM

Just to be fair. I roll my eyes at DW's whinging threads about dudes as well.

Not that it's a double standard. I just don't get into whinging about what I got and don't got on a public forum.

I'm just not as ruthless and a obnoxious cunt about it like Randetica.

Randetica

09-09-2009, 07:28 PM

I'm just not as ruthless and a obnoxious cunt about it like Randetica.

just saying how it is, not everyone is a spineless shithead like you

Bob

09-09-2009, 07:39 PM

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 08:12 PM

if checkyourprez made this thread instead of DW (and the two dudes involved were women) would you have the same reaction?

You mean this reaction?:

I see both sides of this. I probably wouldn't have humped another dude in that situation. It wouldn't be worth it to me knowing that word could get around to older guy and my chances with him could be in jeopardy. But then again, older isn't DW's boyfriend, and one of the advantages of being single is humping and having fun.

My heart does break a little for older though because it sounds like it was difficult for him to be honest and I don't think that should be taken lightly.

I dunno. :/

Yes, probably.

I just get pissed off when people start tossing the "you're going to die a lonely spinster" shit around when a girl talks about having casual sex, while dudes talk about their conquests all the time on here and no one rushes to the same kind of judgment against them. That is a double standard, am I wrong?

paul jones

09-09-2009, 09:39 PM

You mean this reaction?:

Yes, probably.

I just get pissed off when people start tossing the "you're going to die a lonely spinster" shit around when a girl talks about having casual sex, while dudes talk about their conquests all the time on here and no one rushes to the same kind of judgment against them. That is a double standard, am I wrong?

I think it's ok for women to have thousands of cats in the house instead of a man because there's a man at my work who boasted about beating his wife recently and we've all given him the cold shoulder since then so I hope he gets attacked by an escaped Lion from the zoo and bites off his testicles

Echewta

09-09-2009, 09:57 PM

http://therawness.com/why-its-worse-for-women-to-sleep-around/

Pretty intresting read. So is it a double standard or just different?

Echewta

09-09-2009, 10:07 PM

By the way, I'm not confusing. You put the ice cubes in and get the snow cone out. Thats about it.

paul jones

09-09-2009, 10:08 PM

all I want now is a woman's breasts smothering my face as I lay thee to rest

Dorothy Wood

09-09-2009, 10:16 PM

I agree with Nuzz. You say that you like this guy because he is sweet and dependable and sees the best in people, and you say that you don't want to play with his emotions because that would only hurt him... but right after having him open up to you over the phone, you fuck somebody else without a second thought. If he finds out about that, then I would think that would certainly fuck with his emotions.

If you cared about him the way he cares about you, the idea of going home with the younger guy would never have crossed your mind. Seems that you're just setting out to do the horizontal mambo with as many guys as possible, and simply using the older guy as an ego boost when you don't receive the attention that you can only get from a relationship and not a fuck buddy.

You don't sound ready for a stable relationship - I suggest you let older guy go off and find somebody who cares about him enough not to sleep with somebody else half an hour after an intimate phone call, and then you can stick to fucking around with all and sundry until you wake up one morning and realise you're 50 and instead of a husband you have 3 cats.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

whoa whoa whoa, I didn't fuck the younger guy! I slept with a good friend I've known for 7 years, and who I sometimes sleep with...like twice a year every 2 years or so.

let me just give you guys a time line of my supposed super-sluttiness:

June 2008: went on a few dates with a guy, made out once, had sex once. stopped hanging out because he was annoying and unemployed.
New Year's Eve 2009: kissed two friends with tongue
June 2009: went on one date with a guy, made out. thought he liked me, but turns out he "wasn't that into me" or whatever.
July 2009: asked My Age if he wanted to make out, he declined. slept with Good Friend, then got upset when he hit on other girls at my birthday party, then got over it because that's just how he is. went out with Young Guy, kissed a bit.
August 2009: went out with Young Guy again, kissed a bit. My Age started asking me out on date-like excursions, but acted like he wasn't into me romantically, then we had a fun day together and kissed with no tongue.
September 2009: Sporadic texts from Young Guy, My Age declares his like. Slept with Good Friend.
So, things kind of ramped up there at the end, but I'm hardly a slut. I've had a crush on My Age for a year and a half, and he's been jerking me around for awhile...asking me out, then pushing me away, flirting with me, then talking about other girls. and then he finally grows some balls and acknowledges that we have something going on...and I'm supposed to drop everything and run into his arms? fuck that.

I like him a lot, and have for quite some time, but I'm not going to pass up a nice roll in the hay because there's a possibility that we might date. there's a time for emotions and there's a time for fucking. last night was a time for fucking. and DDD's right, if I were a dude, you all would be high fiving me like I asked you to.

assholes.

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 10:39 PM

http://therawness.com/why-its-worse-for-women-to-sleep-around/

Pretty intresting read. So is it a double standard or just different?

That article points out the fundamental biological differences between men and women which I agree can't be argued, but taking it to the "slutty women can't be trusted because they could get pregnant and trick a man into false parenthood" level is paranoid dude talk. Whoever wrote it clearly watches too much Maury and doesn't understand the difference between a psychological and biological response.

It's an interesting perspective though, and some of it makes sense. I just don't think it's all applicable at this point in time. It's not like the human race is at risk of extinction and we're all resorting to our basic instincts to protect our survival. Sex roles have evolved and will continue to.

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 10:51 PM

Bob

09-09-2009, 10:59 PM

Also, goddamnit, fuck you guys. You complain that you have to make the first move, that women are hard to read and play games blah blah blah but when a woman actually defies her gender role (modified Bob quote), you call her a heartless whore in so few words. What the fuck kind of nonsense is that?

it's not the casual sex that bothers me, it's the going out and having casual sex after the other guy just opened up to her like that. if i were that guy that would bother the hell out of me in a sort of "i thought you were interested...?" kind of way. like if i talked to her the next day and i was all "so, what'd you do last night" and she said "oh i hooked up with an old friend" i'd be kind of annoyed and probably no longer interested in a relationship because really now

if DW were a dude i still wouldn't be high fiving her. it just seems like a cold thing to do

but i obviously don't know much about casual sex, maybe it isn't a big deal

DipDipDive

09-09-2009, 11:03 PM

it's not the casual sex that bothers me, it's the going out and having casual sex after the other guy just opened up to her like that.

And this isn't the argument that I find frustrating (because I agree to a point), it's telling her she's going to die alone because she's having a bit of fun that I find offensive. I know you weren't the one saying that shit or concurring, I just want to make it clear that THAT'S where I think the double standard is occurring.

I'm glad we understand each other, Bob.

Dorothy Wood

09-09-2009, 11:15 PM

it's not the casual sex that bothers me, it's the going out and having casual sex after the other guy just opened up to her like that. if i were that guy that would bother the hell out of me in a sort of "i thought you were interested...?" kind of way. like if i talked to her the next day and i was all "so, what'd you do last night" and she said "oh i hooked up with an old friend" i'd be kind of annoyed and probably no longer interested in a relationship because really now

if DW were a dude i still wouldn't be high fiving her. it just seems like a cold thing to do

but i obviously don't know much about casual sex, maybe it isn't a big deal

well, I'm not going to tell him. nobody's going to tell him. and I didn't go out and do it, I was already out and it was already an option.

certainly, I'd feel awful if he found out...but how does someone telling you they like you turn into automatic exclusivity?

maybe I've been acting too proud about it, I'm sorry.

anyway, this probably won't even work out and I'll be whining about something else next week. :/

The Notorious LOL

09-10-2009, 12:53 AM

message board controversy.

Bob

09-10-2009, 12:57 AM

certainly, I'd feel awful if he found out...but how does someone telling you they like you turn into automatic exclusivity?

it doesn't, and i'm not condemning you exactly, it's just i feel bad for the guy

ms.peachy

09-10-2009, 01:14 AM

certainly, I'd feel awful if he found out...but how does someone telling you they like you turn into automatic exclusivity?

Hmm. I think the thing that is bothering some here is that basically, it wasn't just him telling you he liked you. It was the fact that he was allowing himself to be vulnerable to you. In essence, he was saying "I care about you to a point where what you say and what you do could really hurt me, but I am going to take that risk and tell you how I feel." And it's kind of like you said "Hey wow, that's really great, thanks" and then went and did something that would clearly be hurtful to him, if he were to find out.

I guess the question for me is, why would you feel awful if he found out, but you don't feel bad so long as he doesn't?

DipDipDive

09-10-2009, 04:08 AM

message board controversy.

Yes we all know you're above such things.

russhie

09-10-2009, 07:05 AM

I don't get why it's such a big deal that this guy expressed feelings. I thought that we lived in an enlightened sort of age where men could express like for someone without it being an "oh my god, he said he likes you, jesus christ that's so fucking deep" moment. Men are perfectly able of expressing feelings, when they do, it shouldn't be given any extra weight over those expressed by a woman, just because he grew balls big enough to admit something.

He said he likes her. Big fucking deal. I think DW is smart enough to be able to think "wasn't that nice" and continue doing as she pleases until either she or I-Like-You boy get their shit sorted and decide to be in a relationship. Or not. Whatever works for them.

The thing that keeps you sanest when single is not allowing people to dictate your actions too early on in the piece. If DW and this boy had expressed like for each other, and she turned down an offer of casual sex based on that, you think she might regret it if things with this boy hadn't worked out? You let someone else influence the decisions you make for yourself and it's not reciprocated, you can wind up feeling pretty bad.

Besides that. Guys lie - shock, horror (girls lie too, just to be fair and equal). I recently had one tell me he liked me beyond a casual relationship, we dated properly before sleeping together, he called everyday to say he missed me - and it was all bullshit. If i'd bought into his lies, i'd be fairly upset. The thing that saved me was the fact that until his actions matched his words I kept my options open and didn't let his "feelings" influence the choices I made for myself.

Why the hell is it such an awful thing to look out for yourself?

The Notorious LOL

09-10-2009, 09:38 AM

Yes we all know you're above such things.

I dont air my shit out on here. Some people do, some people think thats weird that they do. I dont think its weird that people do. Its like any other form of venting. Its healthy. Sarky does this all the time, and if it works for her...more power. I dont dislike her threads or her at all...quite the opposite.

You clearly took my statement out of context or misinterpreted what I meant.

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 10:20 AM

I'm disregarding the mention of a double standard here, or the question of whether or not she owes this guy anything. Whatevs. I'm saddened by men who jump around from girl to girl too. And she said this guy has been playing with her feelings for a long time now.

Anyway

I thought Dorothy wanted a relationship; a real relationship. But she lives and acts and pursues life like she really enjoys being single. whatever she wants is fine, but it seems like her problems stem from the moments when these two conflicting motivations collide.

I think that it's really hard to settle into a relationship if you're not honestly pursuing one. As long as you're living like you want to stay single, I think you might stumble into a relationship without meaning to. But the longer you maintain those single-lifestyle choices, the harder it is for the real relationship - the one you might have stumbled into - to solidify.

I think, if you see a chance when you think a real good relationship could be created, you ought to decide whether or not you are going to pursue it, and until you're pretty certain it's not going to happen, hold off on dating around too much. I know it may be hard to put off satisfying your sexual needs in the meantime, and you may feel like you're putting all your eggs in one basket. But it's only to give each potential person a fair chance. I just think it would be better, in the possible event that one of these should turn into a real long-term thing, that you have a good beginning where you gave it an honest try. You might think that you are giving them all a try at the same time, but it's like watching different tv shows all at once on different TVs, you're not giving any of them your full attention.

Of course, this is only if you're serious about settling down with someone. Maybe you're not, in which case what you're doing is fine. But I sometimes get the idea you want a long-term boyfriend type person.

I'm sure to be proven wrong by some perfect relationship that started off in a way contrary to my advice, though. It's just my experience that taught me to believe this.

Dorothy Wood

09-10-2009, 11:13 AM

Hmm. I think the thing that is bothering some here is that basically, it wasn't just him telling you he liked you. It was the fact that he was allowing himself to be vulnerable to you. In essence, he was saying "I care about you to a point where what you say and what you do could really hurt me, but I am going to take that risk and tell you how I feel." And it's kind of like you said "Hey wow, that's really great, thanks" and then went and did something that would clearly be hurtful to him, if he were to find out.

I guess the question for me is, why would you feel awful if he found out, but you don't feel bad so long as he doesn't?

I guess I'd just feel awful because nobody wants to hear about someone they like having sex with someone else. but it's just a fact of life.

you know, Russhie really hit the nail on the head. I've been spending my whole life waiting for guys to call the shots, and now that I'm older and have been jerked around enough, I'm done. I do what I want to do. that's not to say I need to be as jerky as the jerks I'm sick of, I'm just saying I'm not going to put my life on hold because someone has a crush on me.

putting all your hopes and dreams onto one person may be romantic, but it's not practical.

I understand where you guys are coming from though. It seems like reckless behavior, but to me, spending the night with a good friend is more comfortable and stable than putting my heart on the line for someone who has in the past been unreliable.

Echewta

09-10-2009, 11:38 AM

girls are so confusing

Dorothy Wood

09-10-2009, 12:03 PM

I thought Dorothy wanted a relationship; a real relationship. But she lives and acts and pursues life like she really enjoys being single. whatever she wants is fine, but it seems like her problems stem from the moments when these two conflicting motivations collide.

I enjoy being single, and I enjoy being in a good relationship. a good relationship is better than being single, but being single is better than being in a bad relationship. and when I'm in a relationship, I'm still rather independent, which I think is healthy.

I think that it's really hard to settle into a relationship if you're not honestly pursuing one. As long as you're living like you want to stay single, I think you might stumble into a relationship without meaning to. But the longer you maintain those single-lifestyle choices, the harder it is for the real relationship - the one you might have stumbled into - to solidify.

I think I'm finally living my life doing whatever I want to make myself happy, and trying not to focus so much on finding someone or a relationship...and that's why this has all basically fallen into my lap.

I think, if you see a chance when you think a real good relationship could be created, you ought to decide whether or not you are going to pursue it, and until you're pretty certain it's not going to happen, hold off on dating around too much. I know it may be hard to put off satisfying your sexual needs in the meantime, and you may feel like you're putting all your eggs in one basket. But it's only to give each potential person a fair chance. I just think it would be better, in the possible event that one of these should turn into a real long-term thing, that you have a good beginning where you gave it an honest try. You might think that you are giving them all a try at the same time, but it's like watching different tv shows all at once on different TVs, you're not giving any of them your full attention.

Of course, this is only if you're serious about settling down with someone. Maybe you're not, in which case what you're doing is fine. But I sometimes get the idea you want a long-term boyfriend type person.

I'm sure to be proven wrong by some perfect relationship that started off in a way contrary to my advice, though. It's just my experience that taught me to believe this.

okay, well, I'm not going to continue to see other men at this point. even though that is scary to me. I'm scared of the whole thing. but I just got an email from My Age and it turned me to mush. so don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be wishy washy with this man if what we have is real. I'm just saying I'm not sure yet, and I'm scared, and all I know is that when I see him all I want to do is squish him and love him up, but I have no idea if that will translate into a good relationship.

I mean, he doesn't know how to drive. what's going to happen during the apocalypse if my legs get broken and I can't drive a tank? WHO'S GOING TO DRIVE THE TANK?!

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 12:04 PM

I tried to write a couple of responses but we're just arguing in circles. We have different perspectives. I agree with russie and DDD (an especial word to the double standard and the bullshit about cats and not catching a husband, wouldn't that be fucking TRAGEDY).

I guess that's it.

nodanaonlyzuul

09-10-2009, 12:31 PM

That article points out the fundamental biological differences between men and women which I agree can't be argued, but taking it to the "slutty women can't be trusted because they could get pregnant and trick a man into false parenthood" level is paranoid dude talk. Whoever wrote it clearly watches too much Maury and doesn't understand the difference between a psychological and biological response.

It's an interesting perspective though, and some of it makes sense. I just don't think it's all applicable at this point in time. It's not like the human race is at risk of extinction and we're all resorting to our basic instincts to protect our survival. Sex roles have evolved and will continue to.

*golfclap*

and/or paranoid dude because he bangs fucked up chicks that would even DO something like that. Good job, guy.

Freebasser

09-10-2009, 01:19 PM

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 01:25 PM

I just read this article and there is no part of this I can get down with. This person's use of the word feminists and sluts in the first fucking sentence... I know all I need to know about this fucker. Bizarre interpretation of bullshit evolutionary psychology, blatant misogyny.

Men stand to lose a lot more from promiscuous women than the other way around? What about how promiscuous men spread diseases that don't really affect their health but can render women infertile and sometimes lead to cancer and death? What about a woman's ability to spread her DNA and fulfill her evolutionary drives once she can't have kids because she got the wrong strain of HPV from some fucking douchebag who doesn't know and probably doesn't care that he has it?

Echewta I seriously can't believe you posted this, I hope it was meant to be ironic.

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 01:43 PM

You obviously enjoy the rough and tumble with younger guy, but at the same time you see the problem with it, because you understand that older guy would be crushed if he found out, and I'm glad you care enough about him to realise that :>

I think she called it off with younger guy. The guy she went home with from karaoke was someone she regularly has sex with every few months.

God, I could not live like that! I obsess too much about individuals.

I tried dating 4 different guys at once, just to feel like the belle of the ball. It didn't work out. They all eventually dumped me. Just as well, because I was exhausted all the time, I had to keep a schedule book to keep track of them, and when they called not one of them announced which one they were. (This was before I had a cell phone.) So I just had to guess which one I was talking to. Sometimes I mixed up who said what and what I did with which one.

Dorothy Wood

09-10-2009, 01:47 PM

I like you Dorothy, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with casual sex, I just think if you were being emotionally intimate with a guy who had genuinely put his heart on his sleeve about liking you, and then you reciprocated, then it's a bit sly to be lovey dovey with him while at the same time sleeping with somebody else when he's not looking. In fairness I probably came across quite harshly - I have been on the receiving end of a similiar scenario, and it hurt like hell, so *nyahhh* :/ :<

You obviously enjoy the rough and tumble with younger guy, but at the same time you see the problem with it, because you understand that older guy would be crushed if he found out, and I'm glad you care enough about him to realise that :>

By the way, the 'cats' comment was tongue in cheek, hpdrifter - I'm not that much of a bastard :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Freeb! I didn't sleep with the younger guy! Unless by younger you mean a month younger than me and two months younger than My Age. We're all summer babies, 1979.

also, we weren't emotionally intimate. or I wasn't at least. and he admitted his feelings in a matter of fact way. and I wasn't lovey dovey. I was like, "oh yes, thank you for the information, perhaps we should start by making out and see if we like it, and proceed from there. Let me check my calendar, I will pencil y ou i n for an appointment". and then there were laughs and I said, "let's discuss this further at another juncture, now I must rejoin my party, talk to you soon." *click*

it wasn't all, "oohs, I like youuuu", "oohs, I like you toooo". there were some cute bits, but I'm not going to write them here.

anyway, thanks for the apology (?)

sorry about your receiving end :(

Freebasser

09-10-2009, 01:50 PM

Yeah, I think I am getting confused about which guy is which (I should probably go down the Nuzz route and buy a filofax). Probably best that I shut my mouth then :(

It was an apology :)

Dorothy Wood

09-10-2009, 02:17 PM

I think she called it off with younger guy. The guy she went home with from karaoke was someone she regularly has sex with every few months.

God, I could not live like that! I obsess too much about individuals.

I tried dating 4 different guys at once, just to feel like the belle of the ball. It didn't work out. They all eventually dumped me. Just as well, because I was exhausted all the time, I had to keep a schedule book to keep track of them, and when they called not one of them announced which one they were. (This was before I had a cell phone.) So I just had to guess which one I was talking to. Sometimes I mixed up who said what and what I did with which one.

not regularly. I slept with him twice within two months. the time before that was a couple times in 2006, and once in 2005. and there were a few sporadic make outs. I love him as a friend and it's fun to have sex with him, but romantically, I'm not interested. He feels the same way about me (I think/hope), therefore there's no stress involved.

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 02:37 PM

I should probably go down the Nuzz route

Make sure you use protection, I heard that ho gets around.

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 02:43 PM

not regularly. I slept with him twice within two months. the time before that was a couple times in 2006, and once in 2005. and there were a few sporadic make outs. I love him as a friend and it's fun to have sex with him, but romantically, I'm not interested. He feels the same way about me (I think/hope), therefore there's no stress involved.
This is an odd question but it always nags in my mind when you, Russhie, DDD, (and some others probably) talk about casual sex.

Do you feel like you have a lot of self confidence about your body, or about your ability to please, sexually, both yourself and another?

Because when I was a slut (not that I'm calling you a slut, just saying that if I were you I'd call myself a slut but that's not really the point, I'm not you and my opinion of myself as hypothetical you doesn't matter) it was mostly out of the idea of "I'm hot, you're hot, lets get it on!" Because at the time I thought I was really hot and I was just testing how hot I could go as far as partnering up. I was trying to see what league I was in, I guess. The truth is, I wasn't hot. I was slutty, and I learned that guys go for slutty almost as much as hot, especially at the end of the night when the real hot girls are already gone.

So, what about you?

Bob

09-10-2009, 02:46 PM

Why the hell is it such an awful thing to look out for yourself?

i'm just saying i feel bad for the guy

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 03:28 PM

"I'm hot, you're hot, lets get it on!"

Why can't it start and stop there?

For you it seems casual sex was linked with self esteem, you wanted to see how many and what kind of guys thought you were hot enough to sleep with.

But you eventually realized that it doesn't have as much to do with hotness as you thought, that guys would sleep with you just because you wanted to sleep with them and that didn't necessarily mean they thought you were hot. And you learned not to rate your own hotness by the number and level of hotness of guys who would sleep with you.

But I think you make a leap here when you bring "slutty" into the equation. If you continued to measure your self-worth/hotness by engaging in casual sex with guys I would say you have a self-esteem problem which is very sad.

But say you were able to not have the casual sex affect your self-worth, that to you those are two separate issues, and that it didn't really matter to you what happened after said guy got up and left your house or you left his. If he or someone else calls you a slut and you don't hear it or don't care does it matter?

It seems to me you realized that casual sex shouldn't have anything to do with self-esteem but still went ahead and felt like it did.

What constitutes a "real" hot girl?

Randetica

09-10-2009, 03:29 PM

i actually like this thread

b i o n i c

09-10-2009, 03:40 PM

b i o n i c

09-10-2009, 03:42 PM

ps, i too have been on both sides of this type of situation, it would suck if he knew

Freebasser

09-10-2009, 03:45 PM

Make sure you use protection, I heard that ho gets around.

You mean like a surface to air missile? :O

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 03:46 PM

So what did you do when you were on DWs side? Sleep with the girl?

Randetica

09-10-2009, 03:48 PM

men are like stamps and women are like a piece of paper

no much damage done to the stamp but no one wants a piece of paper that's full of stamp marks

i dont say i agree or disagree, it is just some saying
and i hope you see the world clear now

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 03:51 PM

i really dont want to come off like a dick, and please help me think this out if im wrong..

but ive always thought that men as they get older become more marry-able and women become less so. i didnt and wouldnt make it this way, but it just seems that way.. i think maybe thats what people were referring to?

i think that when dw meet the right person, all these games will go out the window and she will automatically do the "right thing".. maybe these just ARENT the right guys

You're my buddy but there are a ton of faulty assumptions here. What I'm saying is what is the "right thing" why does this constitute "playing games"?

If she had written oh I had two dates and a nice convo with this guy and he said he likes me so I am not going to date anyone else now because there is a chance that we will have a few more dates and eventually get married you'd think she was totally psycho.

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 03:53 PM

Freebasser

09-10-2009, 03:55 PM

But you can re-use envelopes, but not really re-use stamps. More often than not they get postmarked and even if they don't, peeling them off is a bit of a bitch, especially if you tear the envelope in the process...

I have no idea what I'm talking about :(

Echewta

09-10-2009, 04:19 PM

I model my feelings sexually about women after Al Swearengen from Deadwood. He is my hero.

Al Swearengen: It's not the fucking hour. It's not the fucking vantage of the chair. It's you, that's changed the level of you suction somehow. That's the fucking sum and substance of it.
Dolly: Maybe if I get on my knees?
Al Swearengen: You're the cocksucker. Change the fucking angle.

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 04:24 PM

Helvete

09-10-2009, 04:26 PM

What is this thread now about?

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 04:33 PM

Why can't it start and stop there?

For you it seems casual sex was linked with self esteem, you wanted to see how many and what kind of guys thought you were hot enough to sleep with.

But you eventually realized that it doesn't have as much to do with hotness as you thought, that guys would sleep with you just because you wanted to sleep with them and that didn't necessarily mean they thought you were hot. And you learned not to rate your own hotness by the number and level of hotness of guys who would sleep with you.

But I think you make a leap here when you bring "slutty" into the equation. If you continued to measure your self-worth/hotness by engaging in casual sex with guys I would say you have a self-esteem problem which is very sad.

But say you were able to not have the casual sex affect your self-worth, that to you those are two separate issues, and that it didn't really matter to you what happened after said guy got up and left your house or you left his. If he or someone else calls you a slut and you don't hear it or don't care does it matter?

It seems to me you realized that casual sex shouldn't have anything to do with self-esteem but still went ahead and felt like it did.

What constitutes a "real" hot girl?

First: Your interpretation of me is accurate.
Second: I'm having trouble letting go of the word slutty when I think of my behavior. Ironically, I'm married to it you might say.

I guess I can't separate sex from my feelings about myself, and about trusting other people and sharing intimacy with them. Sex has always been something intimate and a big leap of trust, to me. So even when it was "casual" it made me feel bad about myself. I found that I couldn't share intimacy all over the place without feeling empty and sad and angry with myself. So, I regret it. I can't imagine casual sex not affecting my self worth. My self worth is all tied up with trust in other people, privacy, sharing things and romance and love and stuff. So if I were to spread it around meaninglessly, then it would be like forcing my romantic loving sharing trusting feelings to be meaningless, just like the sex. Why is it a bad thing for sex to be tied to my identity in such a way that I can't tolerate it to be casual? Does it mean I have a self-esteem problem? I might have one of those, but is this why?

The real hot girls are the girls who are beautiful and sexy, the girls men would actively seek out for sexual behavior, not just the stragglers they'll accept when they're desperate, when given no better options.

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 05:00 PM

If you don't like casual sex it doesn't necessarily say anything about your self esteem. Not by itself anyway.

I know guys that don't like casual sex because they're deathly afraid of contracting STIs. I know girls that can't deal with it because they can't separate it from their emotions. If that's who you are that's fine.

Where it becomes a problem, for me, is when it becomes about someone else and what they are doing. Passing judgement and using scare tactics like if you're female and you have casual sex it means you're incapable of having a long term relationship, no man is going to want you and you'll end up alone when you're old!

What is this, 1950?

Listen, I am not saying everyone should go out there and bang with impunity. You have to protect yourself from violence, disease, unwanted pregnancy and heartbreak. But within a range that works for you have some fun.

paul jones

09-10-2009, 05:10 PM

this thread is huge

Nuzzolese

09-10-2009, 05:13 PM

I really don't know enough about other people to give any advice. And look at me, I'm a mess! Who am I to dish it out?

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 05:23 PM

Me too. Trying a lot harder these days to be more understanding but I still fuck it up all the time.

Also, you're not a mess.

Randetica

09-10-2009, 05:26 PM

What is this, 1950?

i wish it was

nodanaonlyzuul

09-10-2009, 05:27 PM

So, what about you?

I think I'm going to repeat what hp said: "I'm hot, you're hot, lets get it on!" - Why can't it start and stop there?

It really just depends on the person.

Again, as hp said, some can have sex with the emotion attached. It's just two people (or more, ha) that are attracted physically to each other having a good time, the end. Others cannot separate sex and emotion and so it would probably feel 'slutty' to them.

Which is not to say one or the other is right in a general sense. It's about what feels right to you (not Nuzz in particular, just a universal you).

Someone mentioned earlier something about how DW should consider having fun until she runs in to someone worthy of being the one. I give a thumbs up to that. (y)

monkey

09-10-2009, 06:11 PM

I know guys that don't like casual sex because they're deathly afraid of contracting STIs. I know girls that can't deal with it because they can't separate it from their emotions. If that's who you are that's fine.

i have a story somewhat in this vein. my exbf who broke my heart really bad (theres only one of those) was kinda uptight about casual sex. i think it was because he had kinda a devout religious background for a while. he basically put it in my head that my previous years of sleeping with a few guys who weren't my boyfriends was a terribly whorish thing to do, and the fact that i jumped his bones on the first date (which wasn't the first time we had kissed or anything like that, it was just our first proper date) made me quite slutty too. Now, i have my justifications for doing what i did, even though i never thought i needed them. i don't have casual sex all that much. not to say i haven't at all, but for the most part, it's just not something ive seek out. i have also had a few boyfriends for long periods of time and that just seems to be how i've gone through my sexy years. heh.

my point is... my exbf was the one who made me feel like it was incorrect behavior. and i can give him that blame because i also blame myself for letting him have such control over my self esteem. i know that before him, i thought it was normal and alright to be as sexual as your hormones wanted you to be at any moment in time. then i lost that.

now i'm trying to fight that image of myself that he placed in my head, but at the same time, i don't think i could go through being casually sexual just yet.

this has nothing to do with everything else. but it felt good to write it.

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 06:32 PM

the fact that i jumped his bones on the first date (which wasn't the first time we had kissed or anything like that, it was just our first proper date) made me quite slutty too.

See this is what drives me up the fucking wall.

And he jumped your bones on the first date. What does that make him? And by so doing violated his religious views. So he's guilty of two crimes (being a slut and a hypocrite) and you are guilty of none (you did not violate any religious views or act sluttily).

Some serious self-hate and projection going on there.

monkey

09-10-2009, 06:46 PM

i really did jump him. it was all me. i was so insanely hot for him, i was completely infatuated and at that time, i saw nothing wrong with what i was doing. there WASNT anything wrong with what i was doing. my problem is that in the time i knew him, i started believing what he thought of the situation. especially after we broke up, he was kinda mean to me and he said all these things about how he thought i was whorish and all that shit.
i am fully aware that it's not a correct view. and i am also fully aware that he is a hypocrite, i realized long ago. but sometimes you can't get your brain around something perfectly logical because you have really giant roadblocks to overcome.
but my point was never this, it's just to illustrate some of my own feelings on the subject. and to top it off, i find it admirable when a woman finds her sexuality comfortable, whatever that means for a particular individual. i dont judge anyone except people who do mean things on purpose.

Randetica

09-10-2009, 07:00 PM

you rapist!

nodanaonlyzuul

09-10-2009, 07:01 PM

i really did jump him. it was all me.

it STILL takes two.

He's a hypocritical asshole who still has his manipulative, judgmental assessments being held over you despite the fact that things are over.

He's an asshole. I promise you.

nodanaonlyzuul

09-10-2009, 07:05 PM

p.s. I know that you can't switch off those feelings/thoughts that he manipulated you with overnight. I just felt compelled to respond that way to maybe get you a nudge or two closer to letting go of his brainwashing because you are lovely and shouldn't have to deal with such crap. :)

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 07:24 PM

get you a nudge or two closer to letting go if his brainwashing because you are lovely and shouldn't have to deal with such crap. :)

.

hpdrifter

09-10-2009, 07:34 PM

I dated a religious fucker once. I actually told him I wanted to wait on the sex thing, not for religious reasons but because I didn't want to move too fast. He was all okay, yeah my beliefs blah blah blah but then he kept pushing and pushing and pressuring and trying to do everything else until I finally gave in.

Good thing that asshole didn't have the nerve to call me a slut for it.

cosmo105

09-10-2009, 07:38 PM

Just to pop in and say to Nuzz, yeah, my serious-romantic-awesome relationship started when I was anything but looking for a relationship. I was actively seeing other people and even told my guy I wasn't looking for anything serious. But after a couple more dates, he stepped up his game (flowers + beer). It just clicked into place and we realized there was something there.

I do, however, wish I hadn't been seeing other people in the beginning. He knows I was, and I know it's not something he likes to think about. You want to be able to look back those first times with the person with a sort of pure memory of it. But we were both honest about it and it's never been something I hid from him, so we've moved on and such.

Anyway. Casual sex can be great and I'm not ever going to judge someone for doing it when both parties are on the same level with it and honest and safe etc. It's just not for me, though.

Personally, I prefer all my sex to be formal. Ball gowns, tuxedos etc.

Bob

09-10-2009, 11:58 PM

Personally, I prefer all my sex to be formal. Ball gowns, tuxedos etc.

written waivers, videotapes, blood samples

it's a law school thing

Dorothy Wood

09-11-2009, 12:40 AM

awesome stuff in here ladies, it's really interesting to read everyone's perspective. (y)

I just wanted to say that maybe in the past, I've slept with people or made out with people just to see if I could do it...the thrill was the prize, the bedroom stuff always ended up making me feel guilty or sad, and I was almost always anxious and unfocused on the task at hand. at the same time, this apathy toward what was going on made me feel able to speak my mind and stop or correct things when they were getting boring/bad. especially after hearing my other friends' stories about not speaking up when stuff hurt or made them uncomfortable. I was like, "fuck that, why are women afraid to say what they want in bed?" it was like everyone I knew was super focused on getting the guy off so they could impress him or something. and I just thought (and still think) "pfft, if they're not getting me off, I don't give a shit if they don't get off."

and I think that might have been the benefit of not having sex until I was out of high school. I had super high expectations by then, ha.

I don't know, with my Good Friend, it's like I don't even think about anything at all when we're together. I just do and say whatever I want, and he doesn't care, doesn't freak out and lose his boner, and/or get all weird. I could threaten to murder him and he wouldn't care. it's no fuss no muss. I sleep over, it's not weird, we embrace and separate. he's a yuppie, so he has to get up early. I watch him iron his business clothes while he watches the morning news on his flat screen. it's like an adventure into another world. it's a happy event.

we understand each other.

now, even though that stuff is really fun, it doesn't compare to having sex with someone you really care about deeply because the butterflies are missing.

now, My Age gives my butterflies. just looking at him brings me joy. I love being near him, just standing by him. and I'm really looking forward to being able to touch and hold on to him without being scared that he won't like it. :o

paul jones

09-11-2009, 06:18 AM

now, My Age gives my butterflies. just looking at him brings me joy. I love being near him, just standing by him. and I'm really looking forward to being able to touch and hold on to him without being scared that he won't like it. :o

this tune is for you;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zglPJcIrQNw

b i o n i c

09-11-2009, 11:54 AM

You're my buddy but there are a ton of faulty assumptions here. What I'm saying is what is the "right thing" why does this constitute "playing games"?

If she had written oh I had two dates and a nice convo with this guy and he said he likes me so I am not going to date anyone else now because there is a chance that we will have a few more dates and eventually get married you'd think she was totally psycho.

yeah probably.. i dont think its that big of a deal if people are honest.. i think if its not that big of a deal, as lots of people are saying, then it shouldnt be something to hide. if its something that needs to be hidden from dude, then its kind of is a big deal - i dunno, does that make any sense?

im not saying i havent done something like that and kept it to myself, but i acknowledge that its kind of messed up.. i wouldnt like it done to me - simple as that.. and as tough or liberal as people like to come off, im pretty sure anyone else here would be hurt too if it involved someone you have some feelings for, at least kind of "wtf!?" personally, id be more hurt by dishonesty than penis in vagina

anyhow, what i was trying to say before is that, in my opinion, if there were true feelings there, this kind of thing would automatically not happen

its not the worst thing ever, im sure most people would do the same thing in the same situation

either way, whaddayagonnado choooch fuggeddabaddit

Dorothy Wood

09-11-2009, 12:44 PM

yeah probably.. i dont think its that big of a deal if people are honest.. i think if its not that big of a deal, as lots of people are saying, then it shouldnt be something to hide. if its something that needs to be hidden from dude, then its kind of is a big deal - i dunno, does that make any sense?

im not saying i havent done something like that and kept it to myself, but i acknowledge that its kind of messed up.. i wouldnt like it done to me - simple as that.. and as tough or liberal as people like to come off, im pretty sure anyone else here would be hurt too if it involved someone you have some feelings for, at least kind of "wtf!?" personally, id be more hurt by dishonesty than penis in vagina

anyhow, what i was trying to say before is that, in my opinion, if there were true feelings there, this kind of thing would automatically not happen

its not the worst thing ever, im sure most people would do the same thing in the same situation

either way, whaddayagonnado choooch fuggeddabaddit

I don't understand how I'm being dishonest or hiding things or doing anything to anybody.

and just to clarify, me and My Age have been going on "dates" for months. I just considered them platonic because he never made a move. and the next time I'd see him, he'd be talking about some other chick...so I was like, "oh I guess he doesn't like me that way, we're just friends" and I tucked my crush away as best I could. his requests to hang out came more frequently in the last month, but I still didn't know he liked me until that phone call.

I've just been going about my business. It was just a phone call. what happens now is what counts.

If anything, I think my recent attractiveness to men stems from me not caring about what they think or building my life around their whims.

anyhoo, we're going out tonight on what I will consider our first real date. I'm excited. :p

b i o n i c

09-11-2009, 12:51 PM

i thought you were trying to not have him know that you banged other dude that night

If anything, I think my recent attractiveness to men stems from me not caring about what they think or building my life around their whims.

i dont think they really like that, but that approach does work. dont get spinach stuck in your teefs tonight!

b i o n i c

09-11-2009, 12:59 PM

the more aloof you are to certain people, the more they want you..

i forget what its called. i was gonna look it up, but i found this first yahoo answers shez sho (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090817213846AAx8aaX)..

Dorothy Wood

09-11-2009, 01:17 PM

i thought you were trying to not have him know that you banged other dude that night

well, I don't want him to know because he doesn't need to know. why would I have to tell him? do you tell everyone you know every time you have sex with someone? when you start dating someone, do you describe the details of your sex life before you started dating? should I tell him how the sex was with my ex? should I tell him details about the times I made out with dudes this summer? he knows I was going on dates with another guy recently anyway, it's not like he thinks I'm some pristine princess.

during our friendship, this man has seen me crying, barfing, snot-faced, ugly, fatter, bitchy, and annoying. and I already know things about his sex life that I'd rather I didn't.

in other words, I think we'll be fine.

i dont think they really like that, but that approach does work. dont get spinach stuck in your teefs tonight!

really? guys don't like a self-assured woman who has her own life going on and doesn't need to depend on a boyfriend to have things to do?

it's not really an approach, I guess I'm just saying I felt like my life was revolving around men too much, how they made me feel. so I finally told myself to cut it out, and my life has been happier and easier ever since. which, makes me more attractive I believe.

DipDipDive

09-11-2009, 01:21 PM

the more aloof you are to certain people, the more they want you..

I've never understood this and refuse to play or participate in that game.

mickill

09-11-2009, 01:27 PM

Are dudes really the confusing ones here?

Dorothy Wood

09-11-2009, 05:20 PM

Are dudes really the confusing ones here?

well yeah, I ran around thinking this guy didn't like me, but he did. I think that's pretty confusing.

Echewta

09-11-2009, 06:35 PM

Its amazing how complicated a simple puzzel of P in V can be.

mickill

09-11-2009, 07:15 PM

well yeah, I ran around thinking this guy didn't like me, but he did. I think that's pretty confusing.

Maybe I should clarify...

Are dudes really the confusing ones here, in this thread?

Dorothy Wood

09-12-2009, 11:41 AM

yes! :p

ha, I don't know, I guess a lot of people are confusing.

I'm not confused anymore though. tee hee.

mickill

09-12-2009, 02:14 PM

I think the fact that you think you're no longer confused proves that you're actually more confused now than you were.

yeahwho

09-12-2009, 11:35 PM

one balled dude rap

People movin' out
People movin' in
Why, because of the color of their skin
Run, run, run, but you sho' can't hide
An eye for an eye
A tooth for a tooth
Vote for me, and I'll set you free
Rap on brother, rap on
Well, the only person talkin'
'Bout love thy brother is the preacher
And it seems,
Nobody is interested in learnin'
But the teacher
Segregation, determination, demonstration,
Integration, aggravation,
Humiliation, obligation to our nation
Ball of Confusion
That's what the world is today

ms.peachy

09-13-2009, 01:01 AM

^^ it's kind of shocking how relevant that song is 40 years on.

ms.peachy

09-13-2009, 01:02 AM

Oh great now I'm at the top of a new page so my ^^ looks stoopid.

feckarse

Audio.

09-13-2009, 04:51 AM

Curious to see why were there 5 pages I've read a few posts here and there and it gotten myself nauseated full of confusion to whats going on. I'm gonna go play video games now but before I do, you stay classy BBMBs. (y)

DandyFop

09-13-2009, 01:22 PM

The guy that I am dating who SHOULD be everything I need/want, somehow isn't. My heart is confusing :(

Dorothy Wood

09-13-2009, 06:58 PM

The guy that I am dating who SHOULD be everything I need/want, somehow isn't. My heart is confusing :(

damn, that sucks. why? maybe you're just not ready or something. or maybe he's just not the one for you?

so far things are going well with my dude. although he is purposely taking things slow, which makes me feel a little anxious...like he isn't actually attracted to me or something, just wants some company and to hold hands. I asked him if that was the case, ha, and he said it wasn't, but I can't help wondering still. but then he'll be all cuddly squeezey and say something sweet and I'll think, "yeah, he's into me, cool."

the whole thing is terrifying, absolutely terrifying.