becoming temporary friends with strangers

[Dorothy Wood]

I recently had to interact on a more personal basis with a customer who bought something that broke, but he had moved to new york. he seemed like a cool dude about my age when he had come into the store, but we didn't interact much. anyway, he called to get the broken thing fixed (it was the manufacturer's faulty product, but still our problem basically) which led to us having to email each other about how to take care of it, etc. etc.

the funny thing is, our phone conversations and emails were totally normal and friendly like we'd known each other for years. the whole thing could have been a disaster, but it was totally pleasant. I mean, the guy probably lived here for years and we coulda been friends or something. oh well, I hope he has a grand life. (y)


and another time, my best friend and I met these dudes at a party and had so much fun with them that we invited them back to our place (one was gay, so we figured it would be safe?) and stayed up all night watching t.v. and laughing. the homosexual gentleman was all disappointed that we'd all never met each other before because he was moving to new york the next day. he was like, "we could've been friends this whole time! but I'm moving, damn it!" we ended up being friends on myspace and whatnot, but never saw them again in real life.


I don't know what my point is. I guess it's just funny to me how I have a really hard time making friends because I hate most people, but every now and again, my faith in humanity is restored.

[yeahwho]

I think you should become temporary awkward friends, make slight acknowledgments of each other but never finish a full sentence, just fade away three or four words into the sentence then avert gazes and check your handbag for soup coupons.

Really once a person has a temporary awkward friend they know they've met their match.

So I guess you'd better keep searching, unless of course you've already found someone like that.

Then you've hit the jackpot.

[paul jones]

I know what you mean.Prime example for me was 1997 when I was in Australia and hanging out with fellow backpackers getting drunk.Some of us had part-time jobs as was the holiday-visa way,just to pay for food,drink and rent.It was this big family for a few months with people coming and going but there was a core group of us for a while but life was fucking sweet back then and I used to have a book full of addresses to keep in touch but the internet had only just started being popular then so people just kept in touch with e-mails.I'd like to meet agin with a lot of them but it was a good time in my life then and it's just great memories .

[Dorothy Wood]

yeahwho, try as I might, I have no idea what you're talking about :confused:

[Dorothy Wood]

I know what you mean.Prime example for me was 1997 when I was in Australia and hanging out with fellow backpackers getting drunk.Some of us had part-time jobs as was the holiday-visa way,just to pay for food,drink and rent.It was this big family for a few months with people coming and going but there was a core group of us for a while but life fucking sweet back then and I used to have a book full of addresses to keep in touch but the internet had only just started being popular then so people just kept in touch with e-mails.I'd like to meet agin with a lot of them but it was a good time in my life then.

backpacking trips! yes, seems like backpacking might be the biggest temporary friendship facilitator known to man.

[paul jones]

backpacking trips! yes, seems like backpacking might be the biggest temporary friendship facilitator known to man.

it is.and it IS like you've known certain people for years even though it's been only a week.I'm pretty easy going with people anyway but sometimes I really want to see some of the people that I met again.I must have thrown away their contacts in that address book a while ago which is a shame.It was just night after night of drinking and chilling the fuck out.It'll be a big chapter when I write my memoirs.

[yeahwho]

yeahwho, try as I might, I have no idea what you're talking about :confused:

that is awkward...







soup coupon

[DandyFop]

Yeah...I think things like that are good to be taken as beautiful moments in life (maybe not the first thing you talked about, but the second, yes).

I had that kind of experience going to the Sasquatch Music Festival with these two dudes that I sorta knew...the campers on either side of us, some of them ended up being from the same high school as the guys with me, and the other guys were just random, and we all hung out the three days there and had some of the best times ever. And during the last (BBoys) concert, in all the thousands of people, we somehow found each other all on the same hill, and we all cuddled up against the freezing wind together.

One of the best weekends of my life, but I don't know about being friends with them all from day to day. It just seemed to fit perfectly into those three days.

[yeahwho]

I guess i like the pet shop phase of relationships, like when Rocky was thinking about buying turtles from Adrian.

[paul jones]

I guess i like the pet shop phase of relationships, like when Rocky was thinking about buying turtles from Adrian.

I always wanted to visit a pet shop and buy fish or something and there would be a geeky girl behind the counter to fall in love with but usually there would be some Napoleon Dynamite look-a-like or something.
I'll have to pay a visit to one sometime and see if there's been improvements in recruitment

[ms.peachy]

Try living as an expat. This is what many of my friendships are like here in Shanghai. Everyone is here temporarily. So you meet people, and then a week later find out they are being relocated in another month or so. In a way it is very liberating - you don't waste time, you just hang out with people and enjoy being with them whilst they're around and take everyone at face value. On the down side, you meet people you really like who leave. But it's just the way it is.

[paul jones]

. But it's just the way it is.

I now have that Bruce Hornsby track in my head,thanks Kel(y)

[ms.peachy]

Some things will never change.

[Audio.]

Same when I gone to San Fransisco met some writer (graffiti writers) and we talked history even with some cats in LA, it was great very chill and funny. My favorite was like a little bit of a few extra weeks ago in Tokyo's Takadanobaba ... yeah i think thats how its spelled, we had some american from the arcade culture following up with our Japanese competitors just talking to one another lo even though most of us dont speak Japanese we still pretty much communicated well and had some on translate our stories. I loved it, socializing, curious yet trying t understand all at the same time and the video game OMG its amazing. I gotta learn Japanese language now and learn about their customs.

[trailerprincess]

When I went to Japan I took the bullet train from Tokyo to spend a few days in Kyoto. I found myself a ryokan to stay in and later in the evening went wandering for something to eat. I stepped into bar which was empty and sat down at the counter, and hestitantly ordered with my basic Japanese. Turns out the guy who was working there was the owner. He was Japanese but spoke perfect English, French and Italian. He'd worked for the UN and then decided to set up this bar. Spent the whole night with him and his friends who turned up later and had an amazing night drinking whiskey and trying lots of Japanese food. So so much fun. Not been back since, but will definitely look them up if I'm there

[jabumbo]

when my "real friends" bailed on me a couple weeks ago while i was in DC, i took to having a good time that night and chatting it up with the bartender and a few other regulars that stopped in through the evening.


so the real question is, will people like this remember you if you saw them again? would the setting have to be the same for both parties to make the connection, or could it just happen anywhere?

[funk63]

I don't even have regular friends so this whole thread is making me feel suicidal.

[Dorothy Wood]

I don't even have regular friends so this whole thread is making me feel suicidal.

no! it's meant to be encouraging! sort of!

like a friend could pop out of anywhere at any time or something.


I dunno, I just thought of it because the guy emailed me at like midnight and picked up a tiny joke I'd put down in the last email, and I guess because of our easy breezy correspondence felt safe enough to give me some personal financial stuff. I could totally steal his identity if I wanted. :cool:

[MC Moot]

I believe Sherpas are the very best temporary friends one can ever make...all though the time may be physically fleeting the impression lasts forever...(y)

[yeahwho]

Do prostitutes count?

[hpdrifter]

Yeah...I think things like that are good to be taken as beautiful moments in life (maybe not the first thing you talked about, but the second, yes).

I had that kind of experience going to the Sasquatch Music Festival with these two dudes that I sorta knew...the campers on either side of us, some of them ended up being from the same high school as the guys with me, and the other guys were just random, and we all hung out the three days there and had some of the best times ever. And during the last (BBoys) concert, in all the thousands of people, we somehow found each other all on the same hill, and we all cuddled up against the freezing wind together.

One of the best weekends of my life, but I don't know about being friends with them all from day to day. It just seemed to fit perfectly into those three days.

That's so funny that you were there. I think a couple of other BBMBers were there too, I wanna say kll and YoungRemy. But I didn't meet any of you because the stupid board was down for revision the two weeks before the show.

Also, on topic, I have had the same experience as Dandy with meeting people at Sasquatch. And my new friend the ATF agent the other night. We learned that he was from Detroit, had been a Detroit cop, served in the military. He had some pretty interesting stories.

[Randetica]

i met a girl on our playground, we talked for hours, we found out that we listen to the same bands and agreed on pretty much everything

a stranger would have thought that we been friends for ever but after that day we never saw us again

it was surreal but definitely no fantasy friend!

[ms.peachy]

I believe Sherpas are the very best temporary friends one can ever make...all though the time may be physically fleeting the impression lasts forever...(y)

Here in Shanghai, Sherpa's (http://www.sherpa.com.cn/) is the big food delivery service. Which of course makes your point no less valid, and perhaps more so.

[MC Moot]

Here in Shanghai, Sherpa's (http://www.sherpa.com.cn/) is the big food delivery service. Which of course makes your point no less valid, and perhaps more so.

Interesting...cause our brother Sherpa Dev carried the camp kitchen and all the food and he was the cook...;)

[Nuzzolese]

I'm sorry, I don't get it. What is the difference between temporary friends and a stranger who is just nice and easy to get along with during the moments when you have to interact?

I was on an elevator talking to a woman about the weather, and then shoes. Was she my temporary friend?

Sometimes people are just nice to strangers. It's not a friendship. It's just being nice to people when they're around you.

When I make conversation with someone on an airplane and never see them again, I don't think back to my "friend." I mean, if someone I did know saw me they might joke "oh, there goes your friend" but it's just a joke because obviously we were just making the best of a situation when you don't know anyone.

[Nuzzolese]

So, this thread is all happy and warm and I'm in a cranky mood and I like being difficult.


Also, I hate you.

[MC Moot]

So, this thread is all happy and warm and I'm in a cranky mood and I like being difficult.


Also, I hate you.

oh yeah?...well I'm hung over like hell...so your spite can't touch my self hatred...sucka

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm sorry, I don't get it. What is the difference between temporary friends and a stranger who is just nice and easy to get along with during the moments when you have to interact?

I was on an elevator talking to a woman about the weather, and then shoes. Was she my temporary friend?

Sometimes people are just nice to strangers. It's not a friendship. It's just being nice to people when they're around you.

When I make conversation with someone on an airplane and never see them again, I don't think back to my "friend." I mean, if someone I did know saw me they might joke "oh, there goes your friend" but it's just a joke because obviously we were just making the best of a situation when you don't know anyone.

yeah, you're right. I guess I just didn't know what to call it. maybe this thread is just about me becoming more socially adept, but these situations happen to socially adept people all the time. so it's no big deal.


So, this thread is all happy and warm and I'm in a cranky mood and I like being difficult.


Also, I hate you.

ah well, that's too bad, because...I love you.

[Nuzzolese]

ah well, that's too bad, because...I love you.

you're smothering me

[Dorothy Wood]

good!

[b i o n i c]

the whole thing when people watch each other's stuff in strange places is weird, isnt it? this happens on boats, trains and airports a lot. sure, this stranger looks less strange than everyone else around here - i'll leave this bag of electronics here with them while i go pee or someshit. "hey, will you watch my stuff for a minute?" reeally strange when you think about it

[MC Moot]

the whole thing when people watch each other's stuff in strange places is weird, isnt it? this happens on boats, trains and airports a lot. sure, this stranger looks less strange than everyone else around here - i'll leave this bag of electronics here with them while i go pee or someshit. "hey, will you watch my stuff for a minute?" reeally strange when you think about it

I won't do it...I'ts been ingrained in me from a very young age, by customs Canada,to believe whatever they ask you to watch may contain contraband or high explosives...

[b i o n i c]

i bet you would

[MC Moot]

i bet you would

truth be told: Once I was passing through Heathrow airport,stopped in at a pub for a bite,this Irish guy strikes up a conversation with me,we exchange where we're off to,he's a geologist heading to a remote mine in Russia,etc,etc...after a pint and while we're eating he get's up,excuses himself to the head and asks me to mind his carry on...he didn't really give me an option to say no...so he heads off and is gone for a considerable amount of time when this wise brit old timer,smoking a pipe no less...pointed out my possible folly...I kinda snapped to...airport,Irish guy,leaves bag behind and seems to disappear...(!)

[Nuzzolese]

Never trust the Irish. Lesson learned. Brit old timer was probably in on it, too.


Have you ever had a stranger give you a real passive aggressive hard time for not being nice enough to them? Every once in a while some wierd bitter old lady or a disgruntled big fella (usually one of those two demographics) will say something to me, I'll reply politely but curtly and they'll start fake apologizing like "thanks for not being rude, I'm sorry, I'm annoying I know. Hey at least you answered me. Sorry I'm taking up so much space. You probably don't want to have to be sittin next to me, eh?" Well, actually it wasn't so bad until you opened your bitch hole.

[adam_f]

Last time I became a temporary friend with a stranger I became good friends with the doctor at the free clinic BA-DUM-CHING!

[paul jones]

Last time I became a temporary friend with a stranger I became good friends with the doctor at the free clinic BA-DUM-CHING!

That's a good name for a clinic.


anyway,I better get offline as I'm wasting valuable drinking time...

[Nuzzolese]

That's a good name for a clinic.
...

It's in Chinatown.

[zippo]

nuzz i think shes referring to something more than a "moment" with a person. if you talk to someone casually in an elevator or airplane, youre doing it because youre both circumstancially there, and you know that situation is never going to repeat again, youre definitely strangers.
but theres a difference between that and a temporary "friend", or, ok, acquaintance, if you like. like someone you meet and then see a couple of more times, be it a proffesor, someone visiting from another country, someone in a class,on a trip, etc. you know youre probably not going to see them again after these numerous times, but youve fabricated something that cant be catalogued under "strangers" anymore. id call it a short term friendship or the short lived acquaintance.

[Ty Webb]

single serving friend

[b i o n i c]

this place is kinda "temporary friends with strangers" because

most of the time we dont meet
people come and go and could never come back at any time
the board could shut down and we'd proably never be in contact again

come to think of it, that would be kinda sad if it happened, all these people you talked to for years just gone all of a sudden

[Ty Webb]

someone would start a facebook group and ya'll would get back in contact.

[b i o n i c]

i dont do facebook so id never find out

[zippo]

this place is kinda "temporary friends with strangers" because

most of the time we dont meet
people come and go and could never come back at any time
the board could shut down and we'd proably never be in contact again

come to think of it, that would be kinda sad if it happened, all these people you talked to for years just gone all of a sudden

it would be sad if that happened. the strangest feeling is having memories on the internet. thats why i always come back.

[Freebasser]

Hi, zippo.