do you ever get self conscious about your shopping?

[Bob]

i always use the self checkout at grocery stores, because i don't need some smug cashier and bagger noticing the fact that i'm buying a value pack of ramen noodles and a bunker's supply of bachelor chow (cans of hormel chili, progresso soup, cheap pasta, boxes of macaroni and cheese, doritos, crappy premade salad, etc) again. oh, you're captain of the high school football team, are you? well good for you, i have a law degree but you don't see me looking down my nose about it, now just give me my cheese its and i'll be off, see you in two weeks

i wish they'd make them for liquor stores. i find myself drinking alone more and more lately which means i've been moving more and more towards quantity over quality and i don't want to buy a big jug of carlo rossi sangria (i like the taste, wanna fight about it) or a big plastic handle of vodka at the same place more than a few times in a row because i don't want to risk the commentary. i mean it's a liquor store, i'm sure they've seen worse, but still, if nobody thinks i'm a loser it couldn't be true

every now and then i think about buying condoms just to show off but i probably wouldn't use them before the expiration date and it's usually some butterface at the register anyway

[Guy Incognito]

i'll resist the urge to ask if you are feeling all right and ask you what is a butterface instead?

also, when we go shopping i'm two busy controlling two kids and bagging me shopping up to notice what the cashier is thinking but i magine that its all a blur to the cashier after throwing stuff down a conveyor belt for 8 hours.

you are over thinking son.

[Pres Zount]

I'm don't really care what people think of my shopping, at least not now. I guess I just tell myself that they are the ones selling it, I'm supposed to buy it, right?

What I do do, however, is feel the need to buy something from places that I walk into. As soon as I go through the door I feel ashamed if I don't walk out with something; like I would be really letting the shop down if I didn't. Or they would not make budget that day because of ANOTHER guy who came in to look but didn't buy anything.

This only really works on small shops, rather than supermarkets or big department stores.

[Bob]

i'll resist the urge to ask if you are feeling all right and ask you what is a butterface instead?


she's got a nice body, but her face...

i'm feeling very checkyourprez all of a sudden


What I do do, however, is feel the need to buy something from places that I walk into. As soon as I go through the door I feel ashamed if I don't walk out with something; like I would be really letting the shop down if I didn't. Or they would not make budget that day because of ANOTHER guy who came in to look but didn't buy anything.

This only really works on small shops, rather than supermarkets or big department stores.

yeah! i get that too

[Guy Incognito]

she's got a nice body, but her face...

i'm feeling very checkyourprez all of a sudden





haha - never heard that one. now matter how bad things get you should never feel checkyourprez although he might like it.

[paul jones]

ASDA was totally out of curly lettuce the other day so I had to drive to Morrisons to get some,they had lots of them.I can't use those self-checkout things as I am an invalid.The lady cashier was about 80 years old and she probably was wondering why I was only buying 2 bags of curly lettuce.

[Pres Zount]

I'd wager she wasn't. Hmm, who knows?

[Gareth]

oh, you're captain of the high school football team, are you? well good for you, i have a law degree but you don't see me looking down my nose about it, now just give me my cheese its and i'll be off, see you in two weeks

i know you're joking, but please never become that guy
know-it-all douchebag law grads/students who havent proven anything yet are the worst
not that one should ever be a douchebag, even after paying your dues

[Freebasser]

I want a 24-hour ASDA on my doorstep so that I can buy Matchbox cars at 3 in the morning and race them down the banisters on the stairs.

[Guy Incognito]

I want a 24-hour ASDA on my doorstep so that I can buy Matchbox cars at 3 in the morning and race them down the banisters on the stairs.

move to leigh then

[Pres Zount]

We got a 24 hour K-Mart here not long ago, impressive since we don't even get 24 hour clocks.

I imagine the poor people who work there have to be replaced every few days once they finally wear out from exhaustion.

[NicRN77]

I can't stand going to the grocery store checkout lines either. The teenagers they have working are always so rude.

Don't drink alone, Bob. I'm local!

[insertnamehere]

careful on the drinkin alone. not to sound like a naggy bitch, just you know, out of general concern.

i normally use the self checkout at grocery stores because i feel like its easier. i never buy a whole lot of stuff at once and i dont want to stand behind people with shopping carts full of stuff.

i do get embarrassed when i go to the convenience store right next to my building. it's right next to my building! but when you go in and buy a "digiorno for one" everyday it looks pretty pathetic. at least you buy your loser food in bulk. the people at my convenience store know what and when im going to eat everyday.

[MC Moot]

I usually really enjoy food shopping...the clerks know my name sometimes...especially the philipino lady's at the safeway...who call me Mr James...I like that...and trips to specialty grocers or markets are good times...I do however DESPISE the retail outlet/mall experience...i become extremely uncomfortable in the mall...malls,like underground tunnels,bridges and buildings taller than 12 storys are unnatural spaces and are best avoided if possible...

[Adam]

I'm like Moot - love food shopping but hate other shopping. Apart from web - that is ok as its easy.

I'm kinda picky at which supermarkets I use though, I dislike Asda and any that have loyalty cards - they piss me off as the check out takes longer while some idiot fumbles about for it as its almost a shock to them they have to hand over payment or a card at the end - why not get it ready while queuing I ask (in my head wishing I had the guts to actually ask).

So Morrisons is my favourite now. Co-op have just introduced those cards so they have fallen out of favour although they do have the best chocolate and coffee.

Bob - my whisky has been downgraded to a blend recently - although Sherry Cask but I realised I might have a drinking problem when the quality is going down because you are buying more of it. I should go back to single malts to prove I can savor it - in other words, I know what you mean.

[MC Moot]

I'm like Moot - love food shopping but hate other shopping. Apart from web - that is ok as its easy.

I'd say the vast majority of my tee's and hoody's are now bought online...I need a new hoody vendor...

http://www.kungfunation.com/

[Caribou]

I live next door to a Lidl, so that's where I get all my stuff, and I neverevereverever feel embarrassed about my purchases.
I will buy single-portion microwave dinners and chuck 'em on the checkout thing next to the tampons and toilet paper.
Srsly, who cares.

btw, Yesterday I went there and bought cake-mix, butter, eggs, milk, sugar and whipped cream. The very clever 16-year old dude said: "oooh, are you baking a cake?". errr...No, there's a guy coming over and he's into food-sex. :rolleyes:

[Freebasser]

What's the guy's name? :confused:

[Caribou]

Nick Frost.

[mickill]

A trip to the grocery store for me typically includes lots of organic produce, top shelf cereals, fresh baked bread, the finest cuts of meat and the pricey little tubs of ice cream. I'm not sweatin a cot dam thing at the checkout.

[YoungRemy]

i usually stock up on breakfast items to last me through the month (yogurt, cereal, eggs, granola, oatmeal, grits, bacon, etc.) and go for smaller runs for the milk, breads, bananas, lunch meats, etc...

so usually I look like a health nut but I like to eat a huge breakfast because I might not eat lunch on any given day...

a lady (customer) in the aisle definitely sized me up one day though. I was in athletic gear buying mostly healthy stuff and she asked me where I found the pre-packaged tortellini.

[mickill]

Sized you up like she wanted to scrap you?

[YoungRemy]

I think she badly wanted the tortellini...

[b i o n i c]

i think maybe she wanted your bag of tortelinis

[mickill]

If that was a euphemism for something, you probably should have jus gone with 'banana'. Unless tortellini was just more anatomically correct. I mean, I don't know your situation down there or anything.

[insertnamehere]

i just went to the grocery store and bought a party veggie tray, apples, and mango slices

im not having a party.

[b i o n i c]

i stand by the tortelinis

[Bob]

A trip to the grocery store for me typically includes lots of organic produce, top shelf cereals, fresh baked bread, the finest cuts of meat and the pricey little tubs of ice cream. I'm not sweatin a cot dam thing at the checkout.

the cashier probably thinks you're showing off

choosing toilet paper is kind of awkward - buying it is ok, everybody needs it, everyone understands that, but it's when you're standing there, looking at the choices, deliberating, that's the weird part, because you're clearly thinking "which of these will feel the best against my anus?" and anyone who's watching knows that. they know that you're thinking about your anus

[insertnamehere]

with toilet paper i normally just price compare between the major brands. i dont just buy the cheapest cause i dont want any john wayne toilet paper, but yanno, but whatever quality tp is on sale.

[b i o n i c]

choosing toilet paper is kind of awkward - buying it is ok, everybody needs it, everyone understands that, but it's when you're standing there, looking at the choices, deliberating, that's the weird part, because you're clearly thinking "which of these will feel the best against my anus?" and anyone who's watching knows that. they know that you're thinking about your anus
hahahahaha

thats exactly what i think when im buying condoms. but i think it applies to being at the check out too.

"yeah, that's right.. im buying these to put on MY PENIS. in order to use these 30 condoms MY PENIS will have to become erect 30 times. MY PENIS"

[b i o n i c]

i was a cashier in high school and it would be kind of hot when i fairly hot chick bought tampons or whatever. but i winced just at much at the hags doing the same

[YoungRemy]

If that was a euphemism for something, you probably should have jus gone with 'banana'. Unless tortellini was just more anatomically correct. I mean, I don't know your situation down there or anything.

lol, thanks for your suggestion! She left the line to return with a package of Tortellini.

http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-windsor-frozen-beef-tortelloni-giant-i94737

[b i o n i c]

seee... they were BEEEF toretlini

[Bob]

giant tortellini no less

[insertnamehere]

i could really go for being filled with giant beef... err, tortellini. i meant tortellini.

[mickill]

the cashier probably thinks you're showing off

Great. Now I'm gonna feel all self conscious when I go to the grocery store.

Real talk though, last time I was at the grocery store, I had all my healthy expensive food/tampons/condoms at the checkout and someone had left a 2 L bottle of Pepsi at the front of the conveyor, and the clerk asked me if it was mine. I said no and just shrugged and she said, "no, somebody's too healthy to be buying Pepsi", and smiled. And I would just like to add that she was hot.

Now, I'm married and I'm not in any way insinuating that the clerk wanted me to use the condoms on her or anything anyway, but buying healthy shit can be a turn on for these hot grocery store clerks, Bob. You might wanna think about that if you wanna bed one of these hot grocery store checkout girls, Bob. Just keepin it 1hunnid with you.

[insertnamehere]

sometimes when i buy fancy expensive grocery store food i feel like they're going to judge me for spending so much money on food.

[YoungRemy]

...someone had left a 2 L bottle of Pepsi at the front of the conveyor, and the clerk asked me if it was mine. I said no and just shrugged and she said, "no, somebody's too healthy to be buying Pepsi", and smiled. And I would just like to add that she was hot.


my suggested response: Coke Is It, Bitch!

[Adam]

I was once at the store buying, I dunno what - just back from the gym and just sprayed with deodorant before buying whatever the fuck I was buying. Anyway, it was late and the girl said "hmm, you smell nice..." we kinda exchanged small talk as no1 was waiting and in the end she said, "I'll have to buy my boyfriend some of that".

So some of these check-out girls are just cock teases

Yeah, the story is weak but I wanted to you guys to know sometimes girls pay attention to me to :o

[b i o n i c]

nah, mang. if bob wants to bed some checkout bichez he needs to keep it real and keep on with the ramen noodles. if you start goin all fancy with tofu and shit next thing you know bichez is gonna spect bob to be takin them out to the olive garden or some shit. just keepin it rilly

[Adam]

I went to a book store other week and asked if they had any Issac Asimov and the girl looked at me blankly like I walked into a bakery. Bob has a law degree, he needs intelligent bitches who work even above book stores. Supermarkets must be below them even so I dunno... What shops are higher than book stores though? Florist? Pretend you're buying for ya mom?

[mickill]

sometimes when i buy fancy expensive grocery store food i feel like they're going to judge me for spending so much money on food.


I'd rather spend my hard earned $ on fancy expensive quality health food than on waste it on excessive jewelry or fur coats. I mean, if I was paying for my ramen and no name rice krispies and counting out nickels and dimes while rockin a mink and a iced out rollie, I'd really look like an asshole.

[Bob]

I went to a book store other week and asked if they had any Issac Asimov and the girl looked at me blankly like I walked into a bakery. Bob has a law degree, he needs intelligent bitches who work even above book stores. Supermarkets must be below them even so I dunno... What shops are higher than book stores though? Florist? Pretend you're buying for ya mom?

law libraries

[Adam]

law libraries

what if she is better at law than you? You'll resent that!

[Bob]

what if she is better at law than you? You'll resent that!

sugar mama

[b i o n i c]

I'd rather spend my hard earned $ on fancy expensive quality health food than on waste it on excessive jewelry or fur coats

dude, what?! theres no such thing as excessive fur coats. have you ever had one of your servants polish your car with an old fur coat? bling fucking bling

[jabumbo]

I'd rather spend my hard earned $ on fancy expensive quality health food than on waste it on excessive jewelry or fur coats. I mean, if I was paying for my ramen and no name rice krispies and counting out nickels and dimes while rockin a mink and a iced out rollie, I'd really look like an asshole.


your face is what makes you look like an asshole, not your outfit


now go return that tub of cherry garcia to the CVS where you bought it from, boy-o

[Nuzzolese]

I only blush when I'm buying tamps.

I started using my own canvas tote bags for my groceries, and I feel guilty about having to shove them over to the bagger to use instead of letting them just use the plastic. Their job is probably tolerable only because of the mindless routine of it, and I'm making them make a special exception for me. Plus they often seem to take more trouble to arrange stuff in my bags for me. I almost never see other people use their own bags so I feel high maintenance.

[Nuzzolese]

the clerk wanted me to use the condoms on her.


anyone need a new signature?

[jabumbo]

i use my canvas tote as a gauge as to how much food i should be buying. generally i go to smaller grocers for my produce and such so if i can't fit it into the bag, then its probably more than what i can eat before things start to go bad.

i hate how 90% of the baggers pack my shit up. the less amount of bags i have, the easier it is for me to cart inside!

[Adam]

Baggers don't exist in the UK.

When some1 started packing my shit in the states I was like 'who the fuck is this dude' - oh, people are helpful here; not used to that. You pack your own shit here.

[cj hood]

i always use the self checkout at grocery stores, because i don't need some smug cashier and bagger noticing the fact that i'm buying a value pack of ramen noodles and a bunker's supply of bachelor chow (cans of hormel chili, progresso soup, cheap pasta, boxes of macaroni and cheese, doritos, crappy premade salad, etc) again. oh, you're captain of the high school football team, are you? well good for you, i have a law degree but you don't see me looking down my nose about it, now just give me my cheese its and i'll be off, see you in two weeks

i wish they'd make them for liquor stores. i find myself drinking alone more and more lately which means i've been moving more and more towards quantity over quality and i don't want to buy a big jug of carlo rossi sangria (i like the taste, wanna fight about it) or a big plastic handle of vodka at the same place more than a few times in a row because i don't want to risk the commentary. i mean it's a liquor store, i'm sure they've seen worse, but still, if nobody thinks i'm a loser it couldn't be true

every now and then i think about buying condoms just to show off but i probably wouldn't use them before the expiration date and it's usually some butterface at the register anyway

this is a bit...

[mickill]

your face is what makes you look like an asshole, not your outfit
:o

I only blush when I'm buying tamps.

I started using my own canvas tote bags for my groceries, and I feel guilty about having to shove them over to the bagger to use instead of letting them just use the plastic. Their job is probably tolerable only because of the mindless routine of it, and I'm making them make a special exception for me. Plus they often seem to take more trouble to arrange stuff in my bags for me. I almost never see other people use their own bags so I feel high maintenance.

If you don't wash your bags regularly, you run the risk of getting bacteria all up in your business. I wouldn't put any meat or live crabs or anything in those if I were you.

[mickill]

anyone need a new signature?

Taken slightly out of context.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I never get self conscious but sometimes when I've been at sex shops I wonder if they ponder over my purchases in their heads.

Sex shop cashiers must have an interesting time seeing who buys what.

[Nuzzolese]

I just went to a sex shop for the first time last weekend. I went on a Sunday morning and bought pasta in the shape of boobs. So it was sort of like a grocery shopping experience as well.

[hpdrifter]

I mean, if I was paying for my ramen and no name rice krispies and counting out nickels and dimes while rockin a mink and a iced out rollie, I'd really look like an asshole.

If I were looking for a new sig I'd lift this bit right here.

[Nuzzolese]

mickill's a goldmine for signatures. He just keeps pumping out winners like constantly. We should make an anthology. The quotable mickill.

[mickill]

The mickill anthology is actually available right now on Amazon for $13.99 (80% off the reg. price). That includes free shipping. It'd make a great gift if you're looking to get an early start on your xmas shopping, or just because.

[Ty Webb]

more proof that some of you guys will complain about ANYTHING. BABIES' HEADS ARE EXPLODING IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

[Ty Webb]

ALSO: I never get self conscious but sometimes when I've been at sex shops I wonder if they ponder over my purchases in their heads.

Sex shop cashiers must have an interesting time seeing who buys what.
SUP?

[Nuzzolese]

The mickill anthology is actually available right now on Amazon for $13.99 (80% off the reg. price). That includes free shipping. It'd make a great gift if you're looking to get an early start on your xmas shopping, or just because.

The Mickillology?

[Bob]

I just went to a sex shop for the first time last weekend. I went on a Sunday morning and bought pasta in the shape of boobs. So it was sort of like a grocery shopping experience as well.

was this before or after church?

[b i o n i c]

sex shops now are like kmart, all nice and unpervy like

litmus test: jizz mop

i dont understand the need to go to one unless you want to feel your dildos and cock rings before you buy em

actually kmarts are kinda pervy

[mickill]

want to feel your dildos and cock

Oh look, another sig if anyone needs one.

[Nuzzolese]

was this before or after church?

It was just before noon. I don't know when is church.

[b i o n i c]

hahah

[hpdrifter]

The quotable mickill.

OMG! I totally suggested this EXACT SAME THING to him back in like '06 but he politely asked that I not act on it.

Now I know it's because he wanted to compile it himself and is now probably making a FORTUNE on amazon.

[hpdrifter]

Come to think of it Bob has probably appeared in my signature more times than mickill. His zingers are usually less flashy but contain proportionately more zing.

[Nuzzolese]

The Bobology

Instead of saying someone is quotable we should say they're Bobable.

[mickill]

Wait, what? There goes Bob stealing my thunder again. And in my own thread and everything!

[Bob]

i prefer bobliography

or alternatively, biblibobgraphy, but that one's harder to spell

[mickill]

How about Bobnoxious? Or Bobvious? Or Bobstacle? I think all would be quite apt. Quit blowin up my spot!

[Bob]

i'm sorry, i'll stop bobbing the boblight

[hpdrifter]

i prefer bobliography

or alternatively, biblibobgraphy, but that one's harder to spell

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!

I'll be laughing about that shit for days!

[mickill]

i'm sorry, i'll stop bobbing the boblight
Well you can bob a big fat bob.

[camo]

I'm pretty self conscious in my local Asda. I went in to buy some shower gel a while back and one of the guys who works there came up to me and pointed out that 'the girl on the checkout over there' has a huge crush on me and has so for the past year or so. She's pretty cute and that but I find myself (on entry to the store) looking at which till she's on (they all face away from you) so I don't go anywhere near it. I don't want to go to the till and have an awkward conversation over a couple of baguettes and a tin of soup.

Other than that I try to use to self service checkouts if I've got a random combination of goods. You know like a block of cheese, some razors and a copy of Kerrang.

Although one time I had man flu I went in and bought some paracetamol, a box of tissues and a copy of Front magazine (lads mag-with naked boobs in it) and went to pay for it without really realising how the situation could have been mistaken. The women, who must have been in her 40's told me to have a good evening and flashes a big ass toothy grin at me. D'oh.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

i dont understand the need to go to one unless you want to feel your dildos and cock rings before you buy em


Yep. It's important to know what you are getting in to, IMO. Also depending on where you go the staff is super helpful. There are places like Mr. S Leather in SF or Good Vibrations in Berkeley. Really nice, well kept, not shady establishments. I much prefer to go in person than guess at what I might like online only to receive it and never use it/wear it, thus wasting my money.

That shit ain't cheap!

[Myu-to]

I did when I bought Lady Gaga's CD.

[Bob]

Yep. It's important to know what you are getting in to, IMO.

or what's getting into you ;) ;) ;)

;)

[mickill]

Yep. It's important to know what you are getting in to, IMO.
or what's getting into you ;) ;) ;)

;)

[checkyourprez]

only when im buying connies lube and 40s!