speaking of cheating

[insertnamehere]

if you know someone is cheating do you feel the need to inform the betrayed party?

i hooked up with this dude in the spring, and he now lives with some friends of mine. ive seen him making out with various other girls at parties and such and have earwitness accounts that hes had sex with at least one of these other girls. he also recently had a party that got busted up by the cops, after which he was complaining that all the bitches left and he wasnt gonna get laid that night.

one of the guys he lives with girlfriend was talking to a friend of hers and they realized they both know this guy, and the other chick asks my friend if shes ever met his girlfriend. friend is like, girlfriend? how long has he had this girlfriend? chick said since march. i was definitely boning him in april.

my friend that was having this conversation knew all of this and told the other girl (minus the part that i had sex with him, she didnt name any names) who is friends with his girlfriend. the girlfriend was informed, and blew it off. she said she knew he was faithful to her and that it was just rumors people were spreading.

i really want everyone to find out what a douchebag this guy is and i want this girl to know whats up, but i dont really know what else to do. i dont want to get all caught up in the whole mess.

[hpdrifter]

She probably does know what's up but she can't let him go.

I feel sorry for her.

[Helvete]

I know loads of guys that cheat on their girlfriends/wives, but fortunately I don't really know any of them to actually get involved. It'd be a different story if I was friends with them also, but as it stands, even though I disagree entirely with their actions, it's not my place to interfere.

[Adam]

Yeah, doesn't make me innocent but I've fucked wives and girlfriends of others and I'd hate to have that mess all come up. I wouldn't say anything, unless feelings and start getting in the way then its a guilt the parties have to live with.

feelings and fucking is where the problem are

[b i o n i c]

its just generally wise to mind ya bidness and not get involved, unless this is your good friend or something.. even then, tough call

[insertnamehere]

yeah im not going to get involved, for a variety of reasons but mostly i dont want any more people than already know to find out that i slept with him.

id like to note that this is the first ive heard of this girlfriend. i didnt know she existed when all that stuff went down in the spring.

her friend that my friend was talking to about all this said that she called her in tears the night of previously mentioned party because, well basically her bf was having a party and didnt invite her.

i dont see how she calls this guy her bf and spends like zero time with him. i have noticed though that since she was told about this, shes started writing stuff all over his facebook, whereas she never ever did before. i think shes trying to mark her territory.

[hpdrifter]

So sad.

Does he know that he's her boyfriend?

[insertnamehere]

i had wondered that myself, but then my friend told me the thing about how he was trying to break up with her, so yeah, he knows.

[hpdrifter]

Maybe she isn't aware that she's been dumped.

[insertnamehere]

well shes not, but he said he dumps girls in some long drawn out process that hes created that allows him to still be friends with the girl after the fact (probably to keep them around in case he decides he wants some ass again)

hes still allowing her to believe that they are together. he hasnt done the actual dumping yet. and the fact that he wants out of the relationship doesnt excuse his cheating. and if theyve been together since march and he was sleeping with me in april, its not like hes stuck in some long term relationsihp he just now decided he didnt want to be in any more. hes probably been cheating on her the entire time.

[hpdrifter]

I'm so glad I'm not out there anymore.

[Dorothy Wood]

man, you hang out with a lot of D bags.

I only know a few. I think, I don't know. Maybe they're just quieter about their douche baggery. I have a friend who repeatedly hit on girls when he had a girlfriend who was living abroad for 8 months. He'd get super drunk and come on to girls with red hair. I don't think anyone ever told his girlfriend. I think she kind of had to know or find out somehow. They broke up a few months ago. They're still in a band together and still hang out, I have no idea how they handle it.

[Echewta]

A very close person friend, yea, I would tell the betrayed.

Randoms, nah.

[insertnamehere]

i dont really know the girl, i just really wish she could find out somehow, without me being directly linked to anything.

there are some pics on facebook of him at a party with some chick all over him, but they arent tagged, they're in an album of someone thats not friends with her so she'll never see them. and there arent any pictures of them smooching or anything, but of dancing and her sitting in his lap and such.

i wish there was a way to manipulate her into seeing these pictures without it looking like i was TRYING to get him caught.

[RobMoney$]

I know loads of guys that cheat on their girlfriends/wives, but fortunately I don't really know any of them to actually get involved. It'd be a different story if I was friends with them also, but as it stands, even though I disagree entirely with their actions, it's not my place to interfere.


Been wrestling with this for the past few weeks as a good friend of mine is screwing around on his wife. He's got 3 kids too.

I feel horrible for his wife that he's boning some 23yo (he's 42) and feel like I should tell her.

BUT

I ask myself if she's better off not knowing.
Because telling her would undoubtedly destroy their marriage and effect his kids lives forever, and I don't want the responsibility of knowing that I played any part in that much pain.


It sucks. And I hate that he put me in this moral dilema.

[ms.peachy]

It sucks. And I hate that he put me in this moral dilema.

Quite aside from not telling her... what have you said to him about it?

[RobMoney$]

Last night I was discussing this whole thing with my GF about how to handle this and she raised the same issue.

I plan on having a chat with him today.
Stay tuned, I'll post and let you know how it went.