Feelings

[russhie]

Some guy likes me, I like him, why the fuck does it not just work

This is exactly the reason I have avoided liking someone for the past year and a half. I didn't think it would all go to shit so quickly though. SURPRISE

Lucky I like surprises I guess.

[Kid Presentable]

I will admit that when I was younger I used to think I loved a couple of girls. The feeling of utter worthlessness and despair at this was quite a thrill for me.

[Pres Zount]

Women! Such mysteries!

[russhie]

It was a complex situation. His friend liked me. I did not like his friend. I thought he'd be more interesting. He pursued me, to the annoyance of his friend/s. Relentlessly. Maybe a dozen texts a day. Wanting to see me.
He said he liked me. Alot. Was jealous of other men. We spent alot of time together, I started to like him back. I say so. He says he's happy. We eventually sleep together.

He becomes indifferent. Texting drops off. He stops saying the sweet things that made me think he'd be worth having feelings for. He makes me a CD. Persists with the jealousy. Apologises for "being a cunt lately". Haven't seen him since. Asks where I am daily. Doesn't understand why I'm confused.

I think my biggest issue is, this all took an enourmous investment of time, money, there was inconvenience involved, his friends were mad, I was cautious and careful and then as soon as my guard is lowered BAM you're not who you said you were. erghghg. How annoying.

Maybe i'm just a dud root. I thought girls were supposed to be the mental difficult ones? What the hell are stereotypes good for, then.

[jabumbo]

how do you avoid liking someone?

[russhie]

It's not that hard. Find, and date people inappropriate to your lifestyle. People you find physically attractive but lack the same sort of emotional, financial and life goals as yourself.

It's almost like regular dating, just the opposite.

[Kid Presentable]

Generally people take care of the 'me not liking them' thing for me. I'd like them for that, if they weren't such cocks.

[Echewta]

Maybe a dozen texts a day. Wanting to see me.
He said he liked me. Alot. Was jealous of other men.

You should have stopped there.

[paul jones]

buy him a souvlaki.he will know that you truly want his babies

[cj hood]

how do you avoid liking someone?

think about baseball....

[Adam]

If I send a dozen texts a month to one person I'd feel like I'm stalking them. Yeah - fucking men huh?

[Freebasser]

:< (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcsVPis1iNs)

[Dorothy Wood]

my current dude is the most sane person I have ever dated. I'm completely surprised too, because he's a weird guy and a recovering alcoholic. I guess you can never really tell how someone's going to be. it's fairly amazing to me, he just makes decisions and sticks to them, he's on time and organized. mainly, he's comfortable with himself, which makes everything better. I think that's the key.

sounds like you weren't actually ready, and that the guy had a lot of issues. I wouldn't sweat it, there are better guys out there.

[jabumbo]

think about baseball....

i wouldn't say i am avoiding this....


it's more like the girl i used to like a while ago and then she took up smoking and i just can't be bothered anymore :(

[russhie]

Well, he made me cry today which makes me think that soon I will just say, we're done, I can't do this, please just go away. (Long vent, you were warned).

We were supposed to catch up on Thursday, and he bailed. He asked me on Friday morning what I was doing, and I told him I'd be at a friend's birthday drinks. I got home about 11, asked him what he was doing, he said he was out, I left it at that. On Saturday afternoon he texted me saying "see when you're busy you really don't care about me" and I was speechless...I've chased him up every night during the week, getting nothing, and as soon as I feel like I'm ready to abandon the whole lot he says something stupid like that...? After a brief conversation, he asked what I was doing Saturday night, and I told him I was going out with a girl friend of mine, and he was like, Ok, have fun.

It happened that myself and my girlfriend got invited back to a club that was a bit of dive previously (and a popular place in its heyday) by a friend of hers who co-owns it/is re-furbing it now, and when the clubs let out at 3 we went down, had a few quiet drinks at the old club with the new owners, checked it out, talked music, travel and interior design and went home about six. I had texted the boy earlier in the evening once at 8, once at 11, about meeting up, but didn't hear back so I left it.

Today, I was mad. I'm tired of the emotional rollercoaster he has me on, so at about 2 I texted him saying, "see, now who's too busy to talk to me? how was your night" and he replied saying he had been out, what did I do, and I told him I had been out, and after checked out the new bar. He replied "what, you went to x bar? couldn't you find anything else to do?" and I just said we were invited back to check it out by the new owners, because K was friendly with the guys who own it. No reply.

Now, I haven't been chasing him up because I miss him, or want to see him particularly - I'm trying to be an adult, and tell him face to face that I don't want to play his games, that he has hurt me, and that it's probably over for us. So today, I asked to see him, and he told me he was with some girls his friend B knows, they were "showing him around" and he ended with a hmmmmm

I had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but long story as short as possible (this is long enough) he told me he was "busy in the same way I was busy last night" and all I could say in reply, without being the total bitch I really want to be, was that I wanted to see him, that I felt he didn't feel the same way, and that I felt stupid for asking to see him - that I was going to stop. No reply.

I give this kid way too much credit, it's upsetting as fuck. I'm a fool for believing him when he told me I was beautiful and perfect and sweet and nice. I should walk away from this, really, I should :(

[Freebasser]

He sounds like an attention whore.

[Adam]

He sounds like an attention whore.

yup. He sounds about 18 years old with a first crush.

[Echewta]

He sounds like rirv

[RobMoney$]

Stop putting all of your self-worth in the opinions of immature tools.

[Nuzzolese]

At this point I would give up trying to give him the respect of a face-to-face break-up. Can you block him from contacting you by text? Send him one last message. "Call me if you want to get in touch." Then tell him you think it would be best if the two of you stopped seeing each other. And you'd appreciate it if he no longer communicated with you. And you won't be responding to his texts. He might try to twist that all around when he tells other people about it, trying to make you look like the one who freaked out. But that can't be helped.

It's not that you're weak for having let this guy get to you. He sounds like he's gotten this whole manipulation mind-fuck thing down to a science. You'd have to be extra unfeeling to not have been affected by his games. He may not be aware that he's doing it, but he's really good at messing with people because he acts like a petulant child. There's nothing you can do to reason with someone like that, and there's no way to keep someone like that happy. He's determined to be a brat. It's your civic duty to show people like that exactly where that gets them - Nowhere.

[ms.peachy]

Just tell him to fuck off already. Who needs this shit?

[Echewta]

Whoa whoa whoa feeeellllinnggss...

[Nuzzolese]

Things like this, people like this, often make me think that many of us are wrong if we think that every one of our feelings is valid and ought to be expressed.

Many feelings are inappropriate, immature, and shameful to have. We should keep those feelings hidden from people. They don't deserve to be expressed. Feelings of jealousy, the desire to control another person, or a greediness towards getting attention; these feelings ought to be beaten into submission and smothered.

I would like to master total control over my feelings so that none of them get out of control and go hurting people.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

You should have stopped there.

seconding this.

He's a jealous, manipulative, attention starved asshole. Leave it alone. He doesn't deserve a face to face. Tell him to fuck off.

There are WAY better men out there. Don't ever put up with this kind of bullshit.

[Nuzzolese]

Is this the guy who found out (via facebook) about you being friends with the friend of those secretly horrible MacDonald's guys?

[hpdrifter]

I agree, seriously, he's being super manipulative. I don't think it has anything to do with you, seems like he just really likes being overdramatic.

[b i o n i c]

haha i cant believe none of you knuckeheads thought that maybe the kid just wants to bang her, banged her, went away, got horny again, etc. sorry, thats what this sounds like

[hpdrifter]

Yeah, I dated a guy like this once. It was hot and cold hot and cold and eventually I realized that it was all just to keep the sex coming. I think he was that way with all of the girls he dated.

[b i o n i c]

"but he took me out to dinner!"
"but we spent so much time together!"
"but he persued me relentlessly!"
"but he got all jealous over me!"

yeah he thinks that ass is worth time, money, headaches and a few disagreements... but just that ass - not you ;)
date guys for the right reasons and you will find guys who like you for the right reasons

my advice: date nicer guys.

[b i o n i c]

Yeah, I dated a guy like this once. It was hot and cold hot and cold and eventually I realized that it was all just to keep the sex coming. I think he was that way with all of the girls he dated.

probably.. :(

[checkyourprez]

Well, he made me cry today which makes me think that soon I will just say, we're done, I can't do this, please just go away. (Long vent, you were warned).

We were supposed to catch up on Thursday, and he bailed. He asked me on Friday morning what I was doing, and I told him I'd be at a friend's birthday drinks. I got home about 11, asked him what he was doing, he said he was out, I left it at that. On Saturday afternoon he texted me saying "see when you're busy you really don't care about me" and I was speechless...I've chased him up every night during the week, getting nothing, and as soon as I feel like I'm ready to abandon the whole lot he says something stupid like that...? After a brief conversation, he asked what I was doing Saturday night, and I told him I was going out with a girl friend of mine, and he was like, Ok, have fun.

It happened that myself and my girlfriend got invited back to a club that was a bit of dive previously (and a popular place in its heyday) by a friend of hers who co-owns it/is re-furbing it now, and when the clubs let out at 3 we went down, had a few quiet drinks at the old club with the new owners, checked it out, talked music, travel and interior design and went home about six. I had texted the boy earlier in the evening once at 8, once at 11, about meeting up, but didn't hear back so I left it.

Today, I was mad. I'm tired of the emotional rollercoaster he has me on, so at about 2 I texted him saying, "see, now who's too busy to talk to me? how was your night" and he replied saying he had been out, what did I do, and I told him I had been out, and after checked out the new bar. He replied "what, you went to x bar? couldn't you find anything else to do?" and I just said we were invited back to check it out by the new owners, because K was friendly with the guys who own it. No reply.

Now, I haven't been chasing him up because I miss him, or want to see him particularly - I'm trying to be an adult, and tell him face to face that I don't want to play his games, that he has hurt me, and that it's probably over for us. So today, I asked to see him, and he told me he was with some girls his friend B knows, they were "showing him around" and he ended with a hmmmmm

I had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but long story as short as possible (this is long enough) he told me he was "busy in the same way I was busy last night" and all I could say in reply, without being the total bitch I really want to be, was that I wanted to see him, that I felt he didn't feel the same way, and that I felt stupid for asking to see him - that I was going to stop. No reply.

I give this kid way too much credit, it's upsetting as fuck. I'm a fool for believing him when he told me I was beautiful and perfect and sweet and nice. I should walk away from this, really, I should :(

sounds like you are one of many. best to make a clean break.

[russhie]

Well, if it was just about the sex, it's an awful lot of work to put in for one fuck.

If he'd not changed so much he'd be able to keep me on side and sleep with me wayyyy more frequently. Who's the idiot now, then.

And I get it, guys are out for a fuck, generally, so am I, whatever, but in all honesty - he went pretty far with this shit so I doubt it was just about that. I do have some commonsense/ability to judge character and have been quite good at figuring people out in the past and the only alarm bell I got with this guy was that I'd have to take out a restraining order at some point. For every shit guy I meet, I do meet men who are equally good. It's just that I don't complain about those here. I just think he has a shit, manipulative personality.


This isn't anyone involved with the facebook/maccas drama. I got rid of those boys, see, I'm capable of telling idiots to fuck off, haha :)

[hpdrifter]

So does that mean that you've told this idiot to fuck off then?

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Well, if it was just about the sex, it's an awful lot of work to put in for one fuck.
...

he went pretty far with this shit so I doubt it was just about that.

you'd be surprised.

Some of them really would go that far. That or they would go that far AND they figured out that they kind of dig you BUT aren't in a place in their life to not be an idiot and actually treat you right THUS it's STILL NOT WORTH IT.

[b i o n i c]

he did it all for the nookie

sorry :(