What would your next wedding be like? [Archive]

Nuzzolese

10-19-2009, 11:16 AM

If you were going to get married soon, or get married again soon, what type of wedding would you have? Would you even want to have a wedding?

I went to a wedding over the weekend and it got me thinking.

I'm not religious at all, so anything in a church, mentioning God, would feel artificial to me so I wouldn't involve that at all. I'd want it to be a small, private affair. I think it would deserve some reverence, a dress and a party. But nothing showy.

Echewta

10-19-2009, 11:33 AM

My wedding was in a church (I'm agnostic) with the recepition within the church compound and they didn't allow alcohol. We were poor so the pastor was also the DJ, cakes were from the grocery store, friends made sandwiches, mom made chocolates (which the church representatives were caught eating during the ceremony), etc.

If I'm fortunate enough to find someone to marry again, small ceremony with a big party. All that money for the actually wedding just didn't seem worth it as much as spending on food, drinks, and the actual celebration.

rirv

10-19-2009, 11:49 AM

I think the most important thing for me would be the party afterwards. As long as I could get shitfaced.

MC Moot

10-19-2009, 11:57 AM

We're gonna elope...

camo

10-19-2009, 11:58 AM

Yeah, the most spectacular party...and no matter how drunk you get or messed up you look you're guranteed to end up with the women/man of your dreams :cool:

rirv

10-19-2009, 11:59 AM

Yeah, the most spectacular party...and no matter how drunk you get or messed up you look you're guranteed to end up with the women/man of your dreams :cool:
How very romantic.

Echewta

10-19-2009, 12:19 PM

I think this next time around, I'm going to make sure to box my brides feet. I want a wife with danty steps.

jabumbo

10-19-2009, 12:28 PM

my sister just got married on the beach, and it was wonderful. only immediate family in attendance, about 20 people total.

they are having a big reception/party in a couple months for the extended family and friends. the whole thing was a surprise to everyone.

after seeing her do that, i feel that i would do something similar. if i had a ceremony, it would be off at some locale that i really enjoy. i like the idea because it allows for what i think is a nicer ceremony and a larger party, so its win-win for everyone

hpdrifter

10-19-2009, 12:33 PM

no matter how drunk you get or messed up you look you're guranteed to end up with the women/man of your dreams :cool:

Do not take this for granted.

nodanaonlyzuul

10-19-2009, 12:38 PM

We want to go to Mexico to both keep it small and make it a vacation for those closest to us. My Father speaks fluent Spanish so we can find good deals.

I don't really care much for a long ceremony. Short and sweet is preferred and not at a church. We have both said we don't care about fancy invites, nor a fancy cake, nor fancy decorations. All that stuff seems like such a waste to me.

We'd focus on making sure everyone is fed delicious food and has plenty of margaritas or Mexican beer to drink. Put the iPod playlist on. Dance. Have fun. The end. Next day: "Hey we're in Mexico still, sweet!" is really the point.

I think the most expensive thing potentially would be my dress but even then I want to keep it relatively simple so it doesn't look ridiculous in photos 20 years from now. So it'll probably be inexpensive as well. And I do my own hair and make up. (y)

skra75

10-19-2009, 12:43 PM

mine turned out to be small yet amazing. pm me if you are interested.
dana - you engaged? If so - congrats :)

checkyourprez

10-19-2009, 12:49 PM

id want it minimilistic. outside, a nice nature scenario for the back drop.

my one buddy who got married last summer said he kept it very "minimalistic" and it cost him 30 grand. f that.

defiantly a top shelf open bar at the reception though.

nodanaonlyzuul

10-19-2009, 12:53 PM

Not officially. There's no rush.

But we still talk about these things. Mostly I just find it nice that we are on the same page about it. :)

skra75

10-19-2009, 12:53 PM

my one buddy who got married last summer said he kept it very "minimalistic" and it cost him 30 grand.

Even the smallest wedding will cost the couple 12 - 35 g's. For real. Shit is so expensive. Although I've heard of ppl who have pulled it off for 8g. The rings and dress alone are so ungodly expensive, and alchohol also gets expensive.

Nuzzolese

10-19-2009, 12:55 PM

Last week, while I waited in the formalwear shop for my boyfriend to get his tux fitted, I had time to look at all the dresses and the magazines for weddings. So much wedding stuff looks really awful. It looks cheap, even when it costs a lot, it looks frou frou and silly and overly theatrical. I think sometimes the most simple, good quality basics can be the most expensive. It's easy to find gaudy crap that's affordable.

Anyone knows that who's ever tried to find a good quality basic of anything - a simple shirt, a dress, a pair of shoes. The simplest things, that don't look like they're going to fall apart, are usually so expensive.

nodanaonlyzuul

10-19-2009, 12:55 PM

This is why sticking to a ring that is under 1k is key.

If my boyfriend gets me a ring for more than that I'm going to stab him in the eye.

Nuzzolese

10-19-2009, 12:56 PM

That's also a reason to keep the guest list small.

paul jones

10-19-2009, 12:57 PM

I can't even get a fucking girlfriend,let alone think about wedding shit!(y)

skra75

10-19-2009, 12:57 PM

skra75

10-19-2009, 12:58 PM

I can't even get a fucking girlfriend,let alone think about wedding shit!(y)

: / haha now I feel like a toolbox

Nuzzolese

10-19-2009, 12:59 PM

Flowers can get pretty pricey too, if you don't want them to be all wilted and sad.

rirv

10-19-2009, 01:05 PM

I can't believe you 'merkins wear tuxes to weddings. What's wrong with a bloody morning dress?

Nuzzolese

10-19-2009, 01:19 PM

A bloody morning dress sounds rather macabre for an afternoon event. He was in the wedding party, he didn't get to choose his outfit.

paul jones

10-19-2009, 01:19 PM

: / haha now I feel like a toolbox

can you fix the hinges on my door,it's falling off

camo

10-19-2009, 01:24 PM

Do not take this for granted.

I hope you don't mean that from personal experience. If so please fly to Leeds Bradford airport right away.

Echewta

10-19-2009, 02:11 PM

I'm pretty sure I can save a lot of dough by doing most of my shopping at Costco.

nodanaonlyzuul

10-19-2009, 02:23 PM

It's not possible to get a ring cheaper than 1g. Especially not an engagement ring. I suppose if you go with south african blood diamonds it would be cheaper. Even the simplest wedding bands will be relatively expensive.

I've looked. It's entirely possible. Because I don't want no stinkin diamond! Too many years of brainwashing = everyone thinks it HAS to be a diamond. It doesn't.

Dorothy Wood

10-19-2009, 02:27 PM

I never really had a wedding fantasy or anything, so I guess I'd want to keep it simple and pretty with a big party. I'd have my musician friends play during the ceremony, and maybe a bit during the reception before DJs play awesome dance music. it would be neat to have it outside somewhere.

annnd, I guess depending on how old I am, I either want a big poofy lacey princess dress...or a simple modern gown.

I could also go for cheesy Gatlinburg, Tennessee wedding, stay in a cabin in the smoky mountains after.

I want to walk down the aisle to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWHQxvgalfE

I want my first dance to be to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fuxl0i7MYUk

Dorothy Wood

10-19-2009, 02:34 PM

I've looked. It's entirely possible. Because I don't want no stinkin diamond! Too many years of brainwashing = everyone thinks it HAS to be a diamond. It doesn't.

yeah, same here. my friend's engagement ring was a yellow sapphire in an antique setting from the 1920's. it's one of the prettiest rings I've ever seen, and it was about $300 on ebay. Then she and her husband just got simple wedding bands on overstock.com.

Adam

10-19-2009, 02:57 PM

I said to some1 on Saturday I would marry them if there was a gun to my head.

I would like a wedding outside somewhere, small and nothing religious. Just something to celebrate our love.

NicRN77

10-19-2009, 04:25 PM

I've looked. It's entirely possible. Because I don't want no stinkin diamond! Too many years of brainwashing = everyone thinks it HAS to be a diamond. It doesn't.

I couldn't agree more. A friend of mine has an aquamarine for her stone in an antique setting and it is beautiful.

Since I can't even find a decent man I haven't put too much thought into what a wedding would consist of....but since I only have a handful of friends the guest list wouldn't be too long. I've always wanted to get married in autumn somewhere outside amongst the beautiful trees.

jabumbo

10-19-2009, 04:36 PM

hey NicRN, how you doin'? ;)

i think the only thing i would gratefully pay out the ear for is a live band. i really dislike pretty much every DJ i've ever seen at a wedding (even more so from school dances). i refuse to pay some jockey all sorts of money to hoot into the mic a bit and play music that i probably told him not to play in the first place.

fuck if i care about all those cheesy songs that everyone and their mother has played at their weddings. i want my own playlist of carefully chosen songs if i cannot have a live act playing some hot jazz for people to dance too.

NicRN77

10-19-2009, 05:50 PM

cosmo105

10-19-2009, 05:51 PM

I don't want a diamond either. Never liked 'em. A family heirloom would be cool, but whatever. If he spends a ton of money on it I'd feel terrible wearing it. Same with the dress. I want it to be bangin' cute, but not expensive. If it has some pink in it i'm set.

We've talked about wine country, and I think a vineyard would be awesome. I love vino, and would never set foot in a church, so that works out well. If there's a bowling alley there too we'd be set.

Also:
-probably no DJ, but definitely mariachis (and maybe even a folclórico dance) and a playlist made by my man. I don't trust my relatives to not request stupid shit.
-sweet dance floor.
-AWESOME vegan food/cake. AWESOME.
-open bar. duh.
-piñata.
-burrito bar.

Wow, I'm sounding more and more Mexican by the demand. All I really want is a good fun time with lots of friends and family there, with great music, good food, and good wine. And of course my manfriend. :o

hpdrifter

10-19-2009, 06:05 PM

nodanaonlyzuul

10-19-2009, 06:11 PM

-probably no DJ, but definitely mariachis (and maybe even a folclórico dance) and a playlist made by my man. I don't trust my relatives to not request stupid shit.

yes yes yes. I want mariachis as well when in Mexico, not sure of what they charge though. If it's affordable, for sure.

Having a piñata is GENIUS.

Don't you love being Mexican? :D

cosmo105

10-19-2009, 06:15 PM

HELL YES I DO. We watched Three Amigos the other day and he laughed so hard at the big party scene and I was going, "WHAT? THAT LOOKS SO AWESOME!"

Echewta

10-19-2009, 06:50 PM

Haha, Mexicans give sweaters for birthday presents.

cosmo105

10-19-2009, 07:43 PM

when we...raped the horses! and...rode off on the women!

DipDipDive

10-19-2009, 08:03 PM

Every time I start thinking about my wedding, I always arrive at the same conclusion - eloping, then throwing a huge party after returning home is the way to go. I know I want a simple, tasteful dress and a photographer to hang out with me and my man on the wedding day and take nice, candid photos but that's as much planning as I'm willing to do. I feel like the reality of the event is lost in all the theatrics and rigidity of most weddings. Totally not me.

I don't want a diamond, either. Unless it's something like this, (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23262499) and even that is a maybe.

b i o n i c

10-19-2009, 08:05 PM

90% of weddings are gross, gawdy and stupid

hpdrifter

10-19-2009, 08:07 PM

If I ever do it again it'll be small small small. You guys with the eloping idea have got it right. If it takes more than a coupla months to plan it's too much. At least for me, if there is a next time.

insertnamehere

10-19-2009, 09:46 PM

i thought my dad's wedding this weekend was really nice. it was tasteful but low key. stepmom's cousin who is a hairdresser did the wedding party's hair (i was the maid of honor, stepbro was the best man, new cousins were the ring bearer and flower girl, and that was it), her coworker who is into photography was the photographer. her uncle set up speakers outside and basically sat at a computer on the deck and was the dj, just tasteful music, no yelling or chicken dance. stepmom and her mom made almost all of the food... they prepared as much as possible in advance and then finished it up the morning of the wedding, and the food was FANTASTIC

they paid to rent a tent for the reception an chairs and tables and whatnot. they had the ceremony at a rich releative's fancy house and got married on the gazebo.

i thought it was nice how everyone pitched in

monkey

10-20-2009, 10:59 AM

i would love to have a wedding bbq, with everyone wearing flip flops and drinking beer, in a pretty little backyard. it's a celebration!

ive never really though about a church wedding or anything like that but i figure i'd like to have it, just cause i'm quasi catholic. it doesn't feel real if it aint in a church.

otherwise, money thats spent on a party would SO MUCH BETTER spent on other things, like downpayments on a house, or a kickass vacation. i just dont see the point in fancy weddings. people get just as drunk and have just as much fun drinking beer in flip flops.

skra75

10-20-2009, 11:46 AM

I'm reading all of these posts and I've arrived at the conclusion that I am far more extravagant and possibly more of a douchebag than most of you. I love giving expensive gifts even if it hurts financially to do so, and love traveling to exotic and beautiful places with the girl I love. I'm a big show off. I wish I could relate with the non-diamond engagement ring mentality, I'm sure I'd save a ton of money for myself. : /

checkyourprez

10-20-2009, 11:55 AM

its more what the zuul was talking about. people get conditioned for the profits of the diamond companies that its needed to give a huge diamond when you get married. and then you are supposed to cherish it and never get rid of it so diamonds are never being resold but only being sold for a first time to keep the market on them high.

its bullshit.

i dont want my wife being a girl that cares for materialistic things (a problem when you deal with skanks and hoodrats, let me tell you) such as diamond rings and the like. nobody needs any of that shit.

skra75

10-20-2009, 11:57 AM

there is a difference though from giving it because you want to and giving it because you feel you have to. I enjoy giving lavish gifts, it's fun.

YoungRemy

10-20-2009, 12:05 PM

so far, all of the weddings I go to in a church have been arbitrary and formulaic, filled with stuffy old geezers who don't want to shake a leg or throw three sheets to the wind.

I've been to some great outdoor weddings in a nice park or courtyard setting, it really ties everything together nicely.

this past weekend, I attended a secular wedding (my Catholic cousin married a nice Jewish kid from Ohio) in City Park New Orleans.

It was subtle, simple, and sweet. they brought traditions from both families and a Justice of the Peace married them in front of a raised fountain with a beautiful setting.

Then they did the Second Line Dance (New Orleans tradition led by a Dixieland Jazz Band) to the restaurant across the street and the couple rode off on matching Cruiser bicycles with "Just" and "Married" respectively...

was that a wedding I just watched or a weekend of dancing, drinking, and spending quality time with my family?

jabumbo

10-20-2009, 12:41 PM

dixieland style parties for ANYTHING are really awesome (y)

i had an uncle hold a new orleans style funeral for himself (before he died, so he could dance with all the ladies). i was too young to go, but all accounts show it being a pretty badass event through and through

Echewta

10-20-2009, 01:54 PM

You are a douchebag Skra.

Nuzzolese

10-20-2009, 03:40 PM

Are there no women on this board who want something fancy?

hpdrifter

10-20-2009, 03:47 PM

I had my fancy thing. Big church wedding, reception downtown, lots of guests, expensive dress, limo, big cake, gourmet dinner, decorations, flowers, the whole nine.

I'm glad I did it, it was an experience. But it took a ton of planning and was super expensive. I don't think I'd choose to do it that way again.

If you want that give yourself a year to plan it. You'd be surprised but some things actually do take that long, mostly booking the venue and getting the wedding and bridesmaids dresses ordered.

Kid Presentable

10-20-2009, 06:19 PM

I love giving her fly diamonds. Not because she expects it, but becuase I'm not broke broke.

insertnamehere

10-21-2009, 12:36 PM

i say i dont want a fancy one now... i might if my financial situation changed dramatically. im from a pretty poor family and fancy anything just makes me feel guilty about spending money. i cant imagine ever having the funds for a fancy wedding.

maybe i will marry a super rich husband :eek:

HEIRESS

10-21-2009, 03:25 PM

my engagement ring was like 50 bucks from overstock.com.
blue topaz and some CZ's WHAWHA!

I'm avoiding thinking about my wedding, it's atleast 2 years away and there will be no middle crowd between the showy 200+ guest list spaghetti-fest godfather theme music in the background italian wedding his family expects us to have and my own idea of a perfect wedding.
my idea of perfection which would be to have my dad tear down half his backyard fencing and make a dance floor out of it, throw up some some xmas lights and porta potties (my parents only have 1 bathroom), bust out the home-made italian wine and have a bbq/dance party till the breakabreaka dawn.
ps. I'm djing my own wedding from a laptop. There will be no requests.
pps. If I have a pet hamster at the time they will be put into a hamster ball with the wedding bands and rolling down the aisle to deliver the rings.

DDD: nice pick!

insertnamehere

10-21-2009, 03:28 PM

what if he tries to eat the rings?!

although i like the idea. i want my doggy at the time of marriage to be the ring bearer. if hes a well behaved enough doggy

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 04:10 PM

a couple I know had a very fancy wedding in january. they dropped about $100,000 on it. (they both had/have large inheritances). I mean, the bride bought uggs for all 5 bridesmaids to wear when/if their feet started to hurt at the reception! and they had so many photographers...it was like paparazzi. it was a gorgeous wedding and I had a lot of fun...but I still didn't think it was worth a hundred grand. I'd have spent the money on a kitchen remodel. their kitchen is retarded awkward and especially ugly.

mickill

10-21-2009, 04:11 PM

You guys are so right about the DJ. After spending three evenings after work carefully selecting every song that would be played the entire 4 hours of the reception, we faxed our ultimate playlist to the DJ who assured us he'd have no problem playing exactly what we wanted. Then proceeded to pretty much ignore it when the day came. I had several songs on the do not play under any circumstances list (Celebration, Let's Get Married, etc) and I heard them within 5 minutes of the dancing starting. And my jackass no taste family was responsible for at least one of them.

I handpicked every song for the DJ, and what order it all needed to be played in. And I too had the "do not play" list, which included Achy Breaky Heart (got played twice), The Macarena (played once), and anything by Celine Dion. At some point, the guests just start taking over. Some idiot requested Pump Up The Jam even. You can't really blame the DJ, but I did say NO REQUESTS.

I don't want a diamond, either. Unless it's something like this, (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=23262499) and even that is a maybe.

That's like the ghettoest shit I've ever seen. It looks like someone took some random chipped pavement and mounted it onto a band made of 3k gold. Not all conflict-free stones need to look like this.

I agree we live in a diamond-obsessed society, and there's no need for a lot of the extravagances that seem to come along with weddings. But when else are you really going to want to frivolously throw your (or someone else's) money around to celebrate something you hopefully won't be doing ever again? I don't really run with the flock, but I don't mind the general protocol for getting married (drop 12 months salary on ring, propose, get married, eat, dance, hump for the first time ever). I'd probably do it the same way again if I could. But next time I'd marry someone EVEN HOTTER.

mickill

10-21-2009, 04:14 PM

DDD: nice pick!

Heiress, you're a scientist; isn't it at all possible that a ring of that sort could emit some kind of radiation? Let us know when you find out kthnx.

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:21 PM

mickill did you ask her father's permission first? (in response to the general protocol)

I hadn't even considered the idea of other gemstones being the engagement ring, besides diamonds. That does sound nice. The couple whose wedding I attended had a wedding planner. That alone probably cost a bundle.

mickill

10-21-2009, 04:31 PM

mickill did you ask her father's permission first? (in response to the general protocol)

No, but he's kind of a bastard and not really involved in her life. He remarried and his new wife had two daughters the same age as his own, and he basically swapped over all his paternal obligations and concerns to his new family. He's a nice guy, just kind of a bastard for ditching his kids. But I would have run it by him, had he not been a bastard.

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:35 PM

You're so romantic and old fashioned, you're like a vampire. *swoon*

HEIRESS

10-21-2009, 05:29 PM

Heiress, you're a scientist; isn't it at all possible that a ring of that sort could emit some kind of radiation? Let us know when you find out kthnx.

I'm sure someone used a Geiger counter on that thing at some point.
not really a big deal because most people build houses and live on land for 50 years that lets them soak up waaaaay more radiation than that lil thing could ever hope to emit.

they do make lab-grown diamonds now, but those things are still pretty goddamn pricey.

nodanaonlyzuul

10-21-2009, 05:40 PM

But when else are you really going to want to frivolously throw your (or someone else's) money around to celebrate something ...

Fine.

Then take me on a vacation around the world, or donate half the money to charity and let's go to one awesome vacation spot with the other half. Or hey, like DW said if our kitchen is ugly let's redo that shit please. Etc.

Just not a useless ass ring!

Ugh.

I just don't get the big deal about the ring. Sorry.

mickill

10-21-2009, 05:50 PM

If you really think about the significance of the non-radioactive diamond engagement ring, it symbolizes something that took millions of years to form, and cannot easily be broken. It's the hardest substance on earth. It harnesses light from the sun and breaks it into all the colors in the spectrum, much the same way that your partner's love fills you with all the different indescribable feelings that cause your heart to sing and weep with joy. It is more than a shiny expensive rock, it is an emblem of your joy and all your hopes.

Love, Vampire

nodanaonlyzuul

10-21-2009, 07:05 PM

I think I just puked.

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 11:33 PM

I think I just puked from all the puking.

no matter how hard people try to explain diamonds, I will still never understand what the big deal is. maybe because I'm poor or something.

I have my mom's diamond ring from when she was married to my dad, and just now I've got it on and I'm looking at it and I just don't see the difference between a stinkin diamond and a piece of cut glass. and I doubt 99% of people could either.

rather have a vacation.

cosmo105

10-22-2009, 01:11 AM

I just plain don't really like how they look all that much. aahh, sparkly, etc. but most of the time I find them gaudy. Not that there aren't nice ones out there, but, meh.

I lose EVERYTHING and I would never forgive myself if I lost something like THAT. I'd rather have something simple and cheap and spend the money on the h-moon or a house. Yeah, diamonds are nice, but they're just not my thing. I think a lot of women on this here thread agree, judging from their responses. To each her own, mickillah.

mickill

10-22-2009, 02:01 AM

When I gave my wife a diamond solitaire for the first time, I told her it was a tear of joy my heart had wept for her, that had been frozen by my cool and hardened by the strength of my devotion to her. Then I held her tightly.

DipDipDive

10-22-2009, 09:50 PM

That's like the ghettoest shit I've ever seen. It looks like someone took some random chipped pavement and mounted it onto a band made of 3k gold. Not all conflict-free stones need to look like this.

Calm down, lady. I don't do sparkly and I happen to like the way that ring looks. If you don't like it, don't propose to me and you'll never have to look at it.