things to talk about on first dates [Archive]

Bob

10-21-2009, 04:02 AM

is she a real lady, or is she from the internet? is it a blind date? omg, give some details!

i am also sorry to say that she is from the internet. i "met" her on okcupid :(. i looked at her profile and said to myself "she seems smart and funny and attractive (i mentioned this one last because i don't want to appear superficial but honestly if her pictures are at all representative of how she actually looks she is quite hot and that's basically the first thing i noticed)" and sent her a message and she sent one back and we did that four or five times over a period of a week or two and then she suddenly didn't reply for a while and i thought "oh dear, i've bored her away" and then she came back and said "sorry about disappearing, i had things, would you like to go for a drink?" and i said "yes, yes i would"

i'm not sure where we're going yet exactly. some place with drinks, i assume, we're sorting out the details in the next day or two

just ask lots of (noncreepy) questions. girls love talking.

so what qualifies as creepy? "where are you from?" "did you have brothers and sisters growing up?" "pets?" "what do you use as birth control?" "on average, how long do you wait until you do it?" "as a percentage, how many of your previous boyfriends were premature ejaculators?"

Pres Zount

10-21-2009, 04:19 AM

If I was a girl and my date was a funny guy like you Bob, I would be all over you.

Bob

10-21-2009, 05:21 AM

If I was a girl and my date was a funny guy like you Bob, I would be all over you.

if you were a girl, i'd have the biggest erection right now

Bob

10-21-2009, 05:21 AM

you're not though, so i don't, obviously

RobMoney$

10-21-2009, 06:15 AM

Ask her if she's ever heard of the Beastie Boys Message Board, (which she almost definitely has) and then proceed to tell her that you're kind of a big deal on there.

Good Luck Brah (y)

Planetary

10-21-2009, 06:57 AM

Ask her if she's ever heard of the Beastie Boys Message Board, (which she almost definitely has) and then proceed to tell her that you're kind of a big deal on there.

Good Luck Brah (y)

this wins.

also, wrestling

paul jones

10-21-2009, 07:07 AM

get totally shitfaced and throw up(y)

Planetary

10-21-2009, 07:19 AM

get totally shitfaced and throw up(y)

on her baps

paul jones

10-21-2009, 07:29 AM

on her baps

the sign of true love

jabumbo

10-21-2009, 07:42 AM

ask her questions on items that show up on her facebook profile so that you can compare and see if she is telling the truth

trailerprincess

10-21-2009, 08:04 AM

I can tell you from personal experience, discussions about suicide never go down well

Pres Zount

10-21-2009, 08:21 AM

What ever happened to you getting a hobby Bob? Did it work out? Are you now a magician? Either way, ask her her hobbies, then when she asks you yours, tell her that funny story you will make up about how you tried to find a hobby out of all these zany things, and you tried them all and nothing worked because of something funny. Think this through better than I have.

Echewta

10-21-2009, 11:12 AM

Balloon Boy is a great topic.

hpdrifter

10-21-2009, 11:50 AM

You seem to be fixated on erections. I'd leave that out on the first date.

Also, word to whoever said don't get too drunk.

Echewta

10-21-2009, 11:54 AM

I would think first dates are the easiest. The sky is the limit since you basically don't know anything about each other so there are tons of questions to be asked and lots of stories, that your friends have heard a million times, but your date hasn't.

Its the later dates where you do things like go to the movies so you don't have to accept that there is nothing to talk about anymore. Except balloon boy.

insertnamehere

10-21-2009, 12:20 PM

this is gonna sound really cheesy, but just be yourself. you're a funny guy. i personally think that some awkwardness can be kind of cute, being extremely awkward myself. if the guy also seemed a little nervous it would relax me i think. if you do anything stupid just laugh it off and hopefully she will too.

current news topics (balloon boy), humerous anecdots about your life. ask her if she has pets, if she does she will probably go on and on about them without you having to say much. bitches love pets. if she says something like "oh i absolutly hate dogs!" you know shes an evil bitch and you should just walk right out on her.

you might not want to listen to me though. ive never been on a real date. i always get to points where i consider internet dating, and i know its increasingly common these days, but the whole stigma still gets me. i guess it depends on your circle of friends, but im pretty sure mine would all judge me for it.

Freebasser

10-21-2009, 12:29 PM

Way to go, Bob!

Just remember she's probably as nervous as you - so just be your funny and charming self and you'll have no problem. I'd probably not bring up the BBMB just yet, mind...

insertnamehere

10-21-2009, 12:31 PM

ask her if she lieks mudkips. find out if she is a keeper.

DIGI

10-21-2009, 12:33 PM

Dog names.

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 12:39 PM

the easiest thing to do is just ask a few well placed questions and listen to her talk about herself, she'll love you by the end of the night and not really know why

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 12:41 PM

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 12:44 PM

One first (and last) date, the guy kept trying to sit too close to me and hold my hand and touch me, under the pretense of being really cold. If you're uncomfortably cold, you should still keep a polite distance from your date. If you're hot, don't start taking off too many clothes. If you're sweating, go into the bathroom and mop up, and keep your arms down.

MC Moot

10-21-2009, 12:44 PM

music,movies,food,art,family and what's up for kicks...

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 12:47 PM

Once I was supposed to meet a guy at a restaurant and when I got there he had a table, but I didn't know that so I hung out in the front waiting for him. Then when I found him, he was flirting with the waitress already, and drawing on a napkin. He then wanted to finish the drawing before we started talking. When we were done, I got up to leave and he told me he was just gonna hang out there for a while. Somehow that felt strange.

No matter what times we live in, I still think a lot can be said for traditional chivalry and manners - at least in the beginning. Stand up when she arrives if she's late, hold the door for her, walk her to her car or door. That kind of stuff is nice.

And don't ask things like "Why do girls always do that?" Try to pretend that you've known some females in your life and that it's not her job to explain them to you.

nodanaonlyzuul

10-21-2009, 12:54 PM

as others have said, be yourself and don't get TOO drunk. Definitely try and get to know her, general questions like where did you grow up, where do you work, etc (if you haven't already). Broads do like talking about themselves. They feel like they are closer to someone when they talk about personal things... so yeah.

Good luck, have fun. (y)

rirv

10-21-2009, 01:04 PM

I have found the following topics to be very successful in the sphere of first dates:

the weather
five minute plot run downs of the last film you saw
all the things you wanted to be in life but are never going to be
how bad the service is in this restaurant/bar

If none of these are working, blow your cheeks out and sigh, nervously play with your napkin and allow for a period of awkward silence which you break by pretending you need the toilet.

Helvete

10-21-2009, 01:08 PM

ask her if she lieks mudkips. find out if she is a keeper.

You didn't just say that!

I can't give you any advice, Bob. Not because I am crap, but because I am pretty good and this shit comes naturally to me. I also have a date soon, just need to get out of this bloody country first...

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 01:14 PM

i think things to not talk about is better:

* politics
* religion
* dads
* banking
* exes
* genitals
* money
* moms **

** this one is 50/50, she might want to only talk about her mom too, keep yer antennaes up

id tell you how to get in her pants, bob, but im so good at that my hands work autonimously so i wouldnt know what to tell ya. you know how it is, bobby boy, hyuck hyuck. **gold tooth twinkles in the sun**

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 02:19 PM

I'm trying to think back on the first dates I've had, and what we talked about, and how that all made me feel.

Once I went on a date with a guy, and he asked way too many wide open questions like "tell me about yourself" (which I suppose was more of a command than a question) or "what types of things do you like to do for fun?" and "Do you like your job?" and "Do you get along with your parents?"

It was overwhelming, he was asking for too much to explain to someone you don't know very well. I mean, lots of questions can only be answered honestly if you use lots of details, and it's not worth it to get into the whole "yes but no" aspect of things right away. But if you leave it with a short explanation you might be misleading them. More specific questions would have felt more like he actually wanted to know things instead of just interviewing me.

QFT

I don't really agree with the "let the girl talk about herself and she'll love you forever" thing. I think it's better to have an engaging conversation where there's a lot of back and forth.

you should just think of some things that you actually would like to know about her...even if it's a little weird (but non-sexual). and things you'd like for her to know about you. and don't be afraid to talk about how dates are awkward, it serves no purpose to feel like you have to have a perfect conversation.

my gentleman friend and I had plenty of terribly boring conversations during our platonic dates before anything gelled. the day he says he "fell" for me was a day when we had to walk together like a mile to a place, just the two of us, and I said something like, "oh geez, it's that far? this is going to be so boring, we better come up with something interesting to talk about for once". I guess that just triggered something in him that made him feel comfortable to talk about anything and not really worry too much about what he was saying. he relaxed.

so just, relax.

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 02:27 PM

I think it's better to have an engaging conversation where there's a lot of back and forth.

ideally, for sure.. but this is advice for people who might have a hard time with engaging conversation. often times all you need is something to get things started and get the conversation rolling. but sometimes people just suck at conversation so they kinda need a paint by numbers kinda thing

bob will be just fine

MC Moot

10-21-2009, 02:29 PM

I can say 2 thing's not to talk or ask about...

1) Past relationships
2) Income

Those 2 turn me off like stone cold...

MC Moot

10-21-2009, 02:31 PM

bob will be just fine

assuming he can manage some dick control...

Adam

10-21-2009, 02:34 PM

Eh, there is nothing wrong with interweb dating - I've done it and generally after about 3 replies I ask them if they want to meet.

But man, some dates are not what you expect, and sometimes the only thing to do is get drunk to pass enough time to not seem rude that you are dumping her. And with that, you also get no awkward messages after with her asking to meet again because you drank so much.

I always think a coffee shop is a good place to meet - order a fancy ice-cream coffee for her (girls like that) and it'll give you both a caffeine boost. Also choose an independent coffee shop cus that shows you're not a crowd follower and think starbucks invented coffee. I'd say try and meet early to, seeing some1 in good light can help.

Oh and buy the first drink for her, she'll still probably pay her way but getting in there first shows initiative.

I'm sure even before this post you already had too much advice and now as soon as saturday morning comes they'll be a 3 page thread waiting for ya asking how it went. GO BOB!

NicRN77

10-21-2009, 02:37 PM

No matter what times we live in, I still think a lot can be said for traditional chivalry and manners - at least in the beginning. Stand up when she arrives if she's late, hold the door for her, walk her to her car or door. That kind of stuff is nice.

Yes! This is something I always notice. I especially get turned off if the guy doesn't walk me to my car.

Please don't let her do all the talking. That's not what she wants. I went on a date last month where I talked THE ENTIRE DATE. I would ask him questions about him and he would give a short answer...then there was silence. I was trying to keep the conversation going...I was bringing up stories from my childhood! AH! Needless to say, HE wanted a second date because "we connected" and he "had such a great time." Really?? Because I was looking forward to leaving.

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 03:16 PM

I remembered another bad first date. The guy seemed to be trying too hard to present himself as a good catch, like a contestant on a dating show, he described himself to me. Or, more accurately, he described how he wanted to be percieved. "I'm a pretty laid back guy, but at the same time I can get worked up when I believe in something." Fascinating. And Bachelor Number 2...?

Remember in school when you were being taught to write good resumes and they told you to show what you've done, not just talk about it? If you want her to know that you like certain stuff and feel certain ways about things, it sounds artificial to lay that all out in your own words. Not only does it sound like you're trying too hard, it doesn't sound sincere.

Although she may not get the chance to see your laundry folding talents or your impressive knowledge of mustards on the first date, I'm afraid that's the kind of thing that just has to come out later as she gets to know you and see you folding clothes and shopping at the deli.

Echewta

10-21-2009, 03:50 PM

Talking about past relationships shouldn't be taboo. Taboo I wasn't that great of a movie. Anyway, talking about past relationships and the things you've learned and what you are looking for isn't bad. Talking about how you miss someone or getting into details about how she use to do this thing with her tongue, yea thats bad. Or how you are always the one being dumped.

Randetica

10-21-2009, 03:53 PM

i dont talk, for no one

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:24 PM

On my first date with my current boyfriend, I told him about a strange dream that I had, and I showed him what capoeira looks like. Later he told me that those were mistakes. We obviously continued to date so it didn't ruin our chances, but I just wanted to pass on the advice. No dreams, no physical demonstrations of dancing or martial arts, or combinations of them.

Bob

10-21-2009, 04:29 PM

yeah i feel like my dancing might be a turn off, no worries there

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 04:29 PM

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:31 PM

Are you prepared if she asks you about past girlfriends? What if she asks really stupid questions as if she's trying to make it a bad first date? What if she asks you what you're looking for in a girl? What if she wants to stay out really late and go clubbing? When are you going to mention the old man you live with and how creepy he is?

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:32 PM

Don't mention that cake gives you diarrhea.

Bob

10-21-2009, 04:35 PM

When are you going to mention the old man you live with and how creepy he is?

as soon as possible really. he makes for a good story. should i not?

what if she orders cake and wants me to try some? i don't want to get diarrhea on this date

oh god, what if i get diarrhea!

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 04:35 PM

my friend and her husband didn't really get along that well on their first date (they had mutual friends, but met via myspace so it was pretty much a blind date), they both walked away from it feeling like "man, that person is weird". (and they are definitely weird, very quiet and quirky). but luckily, weird also means interesting, so they went on a second date and ended up humping...much to the surprise of both.

3 years later, they're happily married with a baby on the way. awwww!

I don't remember what my first date with my boyfriend was like. I was too busy thinking "holy shit, we're on a date". I do remember us going to a coffee shop where you can answer a trivia question to get money off, and as we were leaving he whispered loudly, "psst! it's the Nile!" to the people in line behind us, and the cashier guy was like, "hey! what was that?!" and we ran out laughing. naughty!

na§tee

10-21-2009, 04:36 PM

I can say 2 thing's not to talk or ask about...

1) Past relationships
2) Income

Those 2 turn me off like stone cold...
haha.. on one first date i accidentally poured (cold) peppermint tea down the dude's back when i went to hug him (i am an anxious person), plonked myself down and started talking about 1) at great length while watching him dab his soaking back then indirectly managed to get on to 2) (i was interviewing people for a position at work at the time) but.. he was totally sucked in so i must have done SOMETHING right.

maybe it was the peppermint tea.

good luck bob.

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:37 PM

as soon as possible really. he makes for a good story. should i not?

I don't know, maybe that should wait until another time. It might scare her. I would hold off on that for now unless she asks about who you live with. And even if she does, don't explain how creepy he is about women.

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 04:38 PM

whenever you think of maybe getting an erection, stop thinking about the erection. stop thinking about what she might think about an erection. whatever you do don't even think of the word erection. dont think of what the word erection might sound like coming from her. dont think about what could happen if she knew about the erection. keep yourself from acknowledging the existence of erections.

this always works(y)

na§tee

10-21-2009, 04:39 PM

ERECTIONS!

Bob

10-21-2009, 04:39 PM

now i have one! what the hell, how did you do that?

na§tee

10-21-2009, 04:40 PM

:cool:

Adam

10-21-2009, 04:42 PM

you put them in vaginas.

or mouths

or ears

or your hand

Nuzzolese

10-21-2009, 04:46 PM

It's okay to say "no" to things on the first date. "No" to the cake. She should respect your decision. You are worthy of that.

So, where are you going and what are you going to wear?

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 04:53 PM

erections.

Bob

10-21-2009, 04:56 PM

i'm not sure where we're going yet exactly, we haven't decided a specific location, just a general neighborhood. actually now that i'm thinking of it, nicrn777, you live here, you don't happen to know of any good first date-y type places in the central square area, do you? some place with beer, we're sure of that much

i was going to wear a shirt that i like because it fits well and jeans. i really need to buy new clothes but i'm so bad at it. i pick stuff out, and then i wear it the next day and realize i hate it, but i can't tell if it actually looks bad or if i'm just being self conscious.

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 04:58 PM

don't wear flip flops

MC Moot

10-21-2009, 04:59 PM

^unless you're gonna rock some argyle socks with them...

Adam

10-21-2009, 05:01 PM

Buy the same brand and style of jeans in different colours.
Buy the same size t-shirts from the same place
(y)

b i o n i c

10-21-2009, 05:02 PM

sandals, black socks, khaki shorts, gilligan hat, binoculars

Adam

10-21-2009, 05:19 PM

Talking about high scores you've got on video games will impress her.

A good thing about web-dating to is that you know they won't be too stupid to use a computer since they got as far as registering and sending a message or two. Some might not even use IE as their browser - they're the keepers.

NicRN77

10-21-2009, 05:30 PM

i'm not sure where we're going yet exactly, we haven't decided a specific location, just a general neighborhood. actually now that i'm thinking of it, nicrn777, you live here, you don't happen to know of any good first date-y type places in the central square area, do you? some place with beer, we're sure of that much

I don't tend to hang out in Central Square very much. About a month ago I went out to eat here http://www.daedalusharvardsquare.com/ Its between Central and Harvard. Good food.

NicRN77=Nicole ;);)

nodanaonlyzuul

10-21-2009, 05:35 PM

oh jesus. I'm at work so scrolling and seeing the word ERECTION in bright red and large font startled the shit out of me.

Thanks for that.

na§tee

10-21-2009, 05:37 PM

no probs, babycakes.

mickill

10-21-2009, 05:56 PM

Don't try to plan ahead. It's just going to mess with your game.

But you may want to keep the following in mind:

The common misconception here is that you're going on a date. You have to start thinking of yourself as the date. You are the date. You're the living embodiment of the date. Without you, the date is just a shell, a corpse, an empty house with no running water or electricity. Don't let it run dry. Keep the lights on. Maintain a pulse. Keep air in its lungs. The only useful advice you've received in this thread thus far is to ask lots of (non-creepy) questions. But don't just ask the question and then not respond to her reply. You have to reply to the reply. You're not interviewing her. You want to appear to be genuinely interested in her inane ramblings so that you can get in her pants (or at the very least some over-the-sweater action and some dry-humping). The trick is to never appear distracted, yet seem casually detached. Like you've got your own shit going on, but you've generously made time for her here. When she speaks, maintain eye contact. NEVER let her catch your eyes checking out her juggs while she's talking. Do that while she eats. Maintain eye contact. But don't stare. Use the space right between her eyebrows as your focal point, but don't do that up close, or your eyes might cross. Smile a lot, but DON'T fake smile. That shit just looks creepy. And don't smile too much, or she'll think you're a pervert. Have a few drinks, but don't get drunk. You want to appear as though the alcohol has made you less inhibited, but in reality, you have to be focused the entire time. Use your surroundings to your advantage. Comment on the decor, talk about a picture on a wall. Appear perceptive. Make fun of things without being mean-spirited. Stay playful. Let her know you're intelligent without talking about how intelligent you are. Talk about current events. But don't use words or terms she may not be familiar with. Play it cool when it comes to yourself, but if say, something is wrong with her meal, tell the server. Talk to the manger if you have to. But if there's a hair or a tooth in your meal, ignore it. You don't want to seem like a complainer. Let her know you're hip to things. Sprinkle a little slang into your dialog. But don't say shit like "swag". Sit/stand up up straight. She's watching your body language, so be aware of hers. Try to create physical contact. Get her used to the idea of you touching her, without being creepy. Gently place your hand on her mid-lower back when going through doors. Pat her shoulder gently while laughing. Remember, ALL of her jokes are funny. Don't laugh at your own, though. If she plays with her hair a lot, there's a 90% chance she wants the D. If she continually glances at her wrist (ESPECIALLY if she's not even wearing a watch, it means she's losing interest). You have to watch for the cues. You especially want to pay attention when you're saying your goodbyes. If she shakes your hand, you've already blown it. If for some strange reason, she leans in for a hug, make sure you don't get all aggressive. SLOWLY move in, and resist using it as an opportunity to grope. You don't want to blow it by trying to get an early bite. You want the full meal. Slow is the key. Quick with the words, slow with the action. Relax your pace. But keep it fresh. Life is improvised, not scripted. But your performance should be Oscar-worthy. Create the magic. Dazzle her. Chicks want to be treated like princesses. One more thing, there's a good chance you don't have any decent cologne at your pad, so go to a department store on the way to your date and spray on something that hasn't been around for very long. Something newish. But don't put too much on. Spray once and walk into it. And don't just peel open a sample page in a GQ at a magazine stand and rub it on yourself, you'll end up smelling like you bathed in it. And brush your teeth.

Other than that, just be yourself and go with it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Bob

10-21-2009, 06:55 PM

I don't tend to hang out in Central Square very much. About a month ago I went out to eat here http://www.daedalusharvardsquare.com/ Its between Central and Harvard. Good food.

NicRN77=Nicole ;);)

thanks for that, i'll keep it in mind. and if you happen to have any other recommendations as well i certainly wouldn't not appreciate those. you can be my ghost...boyfriend? like a ghost writer, but...well you can be whatever that's called

also i love you mickill

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 07:10 PM

ha, I agree with everything mickill said except the cologne part. some people are allergic.

sidenote: in addition to "swag", do not say "wack" repeatedly. I stopped seeing a dude for that. he'd be like, "shit's wack yo". I was like "yo, holmes, you're a 5'6" jew from the suburbs, enough with the 'wack'!" sometimes irony stops being irony and starts being annoying.

Freebasser

10-21-2009, 07:21 PM

^word

Planetary

10-21-2009, 07:52 PM

He then wanted to finish the drawing before we started talking.

owned

yeahwho

10-21-2009, 08:18 PM

I disagree on the Mens fragrance, do wear some but don't be pedestrian or overpowering. I went out with a woman who is a major distributor for P&G fragrances for several years and have family who still work with her.

The trick is don't be too overpowering when applying, little on the neck, wrist and that's it. I have at least 50 bottles of high end fragrance and I wear the stuff maybe, just maybe 30 times a year. My sister has gorilla racks of mens and womens cologne in her garage.

Anyway do not be afraid to use cologne and take a tip not from me, but from the women I know in that industry, these are the ones that work for you,

Cartier 'Déclaration' (http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2873021?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=mens+fragrances+in+All+Categories&origin=searchresults)

Fahrenheit (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8mBxt1gK6h8/SR8p1vY4w2I/AAAAAAAAHZI/TEfs_v9HXg4/s400/Fahrenheit+Cologne+by+Christian+Dior+for+Men.jpg)

and The One (http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2993629?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=mens+fragrances+in+All+Categories&origin=searchresults)

All three of those are distinctively different but equal, grooming is essential dude. If your looking good, smelling good and projecting that those two items are easy for you "grooming and looking good" you have just upped your first date status by half.

Talking....

Dreams

Pets

Colors

Moms

Vacations

Dream Vacations

Desserts

Stay away from sounding too needy or co-dependent.

Keep your zipper in check, privately of course, don't stare at your own groin or anybody elses. Keep your dog instincts buried to a low and slow tail wag.

Then come back here and give us all full disclosure.

yeahwho

10-21-2009, 08:29 PM

Skip all of the above advice take a train to NY and eat at the EL Rey II, order the Viagra soup (http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/10/16/2009-10-16_warning_see_a_doctor_for_a_meal_lasting_more_th an_4_hours_worth_every_lovin_spoo.html).

RobMoney$

10-21-2009, 08:56 PM

NicRN77=Nicole ;);)

Dude, she's practically throwing herself at you.
Bob's got GAME!

RobMoney$

10-21-2009, 09:05 PM

Just talk about shit you've done.
Shitty jobs you may have had, weird professors you've had, cool movies you've seen or books you're into.

Confidence is key.
Don't be afraid to admit something embarressing about yourself if the conversation leads to it, like the cake issue.
Telling her you can't have cake because it's gives you the diarrehea, and you're determined for that NOT to happen at that time could be a funny icebreaker.

Also remember not to put the pussy on a pedestal.

mickill

10-21-2009, 09:43 PM

Yeah Bob, don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Bros b4 hoez. Gz up hoez down. If that bitch can't swim, then she bound to drizown. You can't make a hoe a housewife. Preach. Game recognize game. It should be told, not told, but I'm feeling generous. I'm handing out free mack tokens. I just tore a page out of the pimp bible and gave you life lessons. Chuuuuch. Remember, a romance without finance is a damn nuisance. Put the girl on the hoe stroll and if she gets out of line, you break your foot off in her ass. Give her a check up from the neck up. She can hop in the pick-up and suck the dick up til she hiccup.

mickill

10-21-2009, 09:50 PM

NicRN77

10-21-2009, 09:58 PM

Dude, she's practically throwing herself at you.
Bob's got GAME!

You think so??

Mickill's advice....LOL

Bob

10-21-2009, 10:02 PM

Also, assuming she's not allergic (gonna have to roll the dice, dude), I think you should avoid the Cartier 'Déclaration' that was recommended by yeahwho. While it may have a nice scent, that stuff is pretty potent. It's definitely a settler. If you're fairly inexperienced with cologne-spraying, that could go wrong very easily.

Also, don't forget, it's Fall. So don't get all citrus-summer with it

alright so i know that certain scents are appropriate for certain seasons, but if i'm wearing an off-season scent, is it actually a big deal? unless she's some kind of connoisseur, will she even notice or care? is it something that women are biologically inclined to notice or something? because i really only have the one cologne. diamond...armani...i forget what it's called but it smells nice and inoffensive and i got it as a gift so i wear it

checkyourprez

10-21-2009, 10:23 PM

bob, whatever you do, do not get super nervous and puke. it will totally ruin the date.

Documad

10-21-2009, 10:36 PM

NicRN77=Nicole ;);)

I don't read this like Rob did, but Bob's a bit thick because it seems like he completely ignored your comment. WTF is up with the ghost boyfriend comment?

How hollywood cute would it be if you're his blind date?

P.S. Bob: NO FRAGRANCE. IT'S TOO RISKY. HALF OF THE WOMEN I KNOW ARE ALLERGIC. A good fragrance can be lovely but a bad one is a disaster. It's better to smell clean. And have good breath.

mickill

10-21-2009, 10:42 PM

alright so i know that certain scents are appropriate for certain seasons, but if i'm wearing an off-season scent, is it actually a big deal? unless she's some kind of connoisseur, will she even notice or care? is it something that women are biologically inclined to notice or something? because i really only have the one cologne. diamond...armani...i forget what it's called but it smells nice and inoffensive and i got it as a gift so i wear it

That's more of an early September scent, but hopefully she won't notice. It has a hint of citrus base, but it's primarily a sweeter, more cocoa-infused scent overall. Being that we're nearing November, I'd say the warm/chocolate fragrance is definitely appropriate, but it could be a little too sweet for a first date. To be honest, I think if you go with this scent, you could very well end up cock-blocking your more manly pheromones. You want to trigger her hormones, and make them take notice of your manly aroma, not make her feel like she's hanging with one of her girl friends. You might be better off going with your own natural musk. But my advice would be to go with something more late autumn in smell. Something that smells like man. Or mountains. Trees.

NicRN77

10-21-2009, 11:07 PM

How hollywood cute would it be if you're his blind date?

Well, if Bob was planning on visiting the hospital on Saturday night I *may* be his blind date because I'm working that night!

Bob and I have already met...before the Gala.

Documad

10-21-2009, 11:08 PM

I don't think Bob's ready to go full mickill on the gal.

Bob

10-21-2009, 11:08 PM

That's more of an early September scent, but hopefully she won't notice. It has a hint of citrus base, but it's primarily a sweeter, more cocoa-infused scent overall. Being that we're nearing November, I'd say the warm/chocolate fragrance is definitely appropriate, but it could be a little too sweet for a first date. To be honest, I think if you go with this scent, you could very well end up cock-blocking your more manly pheromones. You want to trigger her hormones, and make them take notice of your manly aroma, not make her feel like she's hanging with one of her girl friends. You might be better off going with your own natural musk. But my advice would be to go with something more late autumn in smell. Something that smells like man. Or mountains. Trees.

normally i've got a good sense of this but you've completely lost me now, are you making all of this up?

Dorothy Wood

10-21-2009, 11:14 PM

it actually sounds like he knows exactly what he's talking about...or he copy pasted from a wikipedia page about cologne.

HEIRESS

10-21-2009, 11:31 PM

BOOKS!
RUNNING!

Tell her she looks good. or smells good. or has cool shoes on.

mickill

10-22-2009, 12:13 AM

Making this up? Wikipedia? Isn't this all just common fragrance decorum? I remember being in high school and thinking, "I can't be rockin this Polo pinetree shit during summer", switching to CK Eternity in the warmer months, and not using the Drakkar Noir in the daytime and everything. They make different fragrances for different seasons for a reason, people.

Dorothy Wood

10-22-2009, 12:31 AM

sorry, I'm allergic.

I do enjoy old spice deodorant though.

my boy just smells clean to me. and when he's not clean, he still smells good. could be because he's a vegetarian? or I just dig his natural man musk.

his apartment on the other hand...smells like dish soap, electrical equipment, mildew and corn tortillas. ha. :(

my college boyfriend wore polo and it always made me sneeze.

RobMoney$

10-22-2009, 12:56 AM

You think so??

Mickill's advice....LOL

I'm sorry, I was just being an ass. :)

Anyway, Bob, we need to get you about 30-40 of these hood rats to knock off before this date.

mickill

10-22-2009, 12:59 AM

All those colognes I mentioned are rancid and cheap-smelling anyway. I was just making a point. If Bob is this confused though, he might better off going with his natural musk too. His choice of cologne could be kind of iffy.

cosmo105

10-22-2009, 01:05 AM

I like some cologne on dudes sometimes, but it's much more important that I enjoy their natural man stank first. Skip spray for now.

You'll be fine Bob. Good luck! :)

insertnamehere

10-22-2009, 01:20 AM

dear mickill,

please give me dating advice, you know, like for a chick. how do i get dudes? you are the best advice giver i have ever heard.

mickill

10-22-2009, 02:54 AM

dear insertnamehere,

Lucky for you, guys are the simpler/less complicated of the two sexes. See, women (that aren't train wreck attention whores) tend to have their guards up most (if not all) of the time around men whom they've just met. Statistically speaking, a female has a 10 in 10 chance of finding a guy at a bar who will willingly bang her that night, compared to a guy's 1 in 5 chance of doing the same with a chick. This is not to say that I encourage rampant, shortsighted, irresponsible humping with strangers, but I'm saying a woman generally has a 100% chance of getting laid (without paying), at any time of day, wherever the place. But trying to reel in a decent catch is the hard part for a girl. I can admit that men, for the most part, are somewhat hopeless. I was seemingly hopeless at one point too. I can admit that. But inside of even the most barbaric, un-groomed, immature, hornball dude, there lurk two beings: the inner child and the inner dad. You can help to bring either one to the surface, depending on your preference. But most women would probably prefer a balance of the two. The inner child is fun and adventurous, and the inner dad is the take charge/protective/responsible, and possibly even loyal of the two. The bottom line is, if you're on the date with a guy, he already wants to sleep with you anyway. The objective for most girls is to gauge whether they want something more from the guy. The D is already in place. You can have the D regardless. Today. But do you want the D to be exclusive to you? Obviously, you need to go on the date to find out. But now, you have to try and set the tone for the rest of the time he is going to be "courting" you (aka, waiting to hump). Which inner being do you want dominating this period? You have to provide the clues (meaning, ensure that it is blatantly obvious that you prefer one personality over the other). Also, this may seem somewhat sexist or semi-distasteful, but if you believe that there are distinct gender traits, then you probably already perceive men as "hunters" and women as "prey". Generally, women desire companionship and men just want to conquer as much tail as humanly possible. This is just nature. Women are more naturally inclined to be satisfied with one partner, while men have to fight the urge to not want to hump other girls. It's how we're designed. If your problem is getting a date in the first place, it basically comes down to one thing: advertising. Presentation is everything. You have to be willing to put in the time and effort it takes to get a guy to notice you. Obviously, some people don't have to. Life isn't fair. If you're not one of those people that just get to effortlessly knock people out with your charm and beauty, you might have to try a little harder. Just three things will determine the grade of dude you're going to be able to pull: personality, intelligence and appearance. If you're sorely lacking in more than one of these areas, try to work on another. Very few people will ever master all three. But most decent guys are only looking for two. For a guy who isn't any kind of a catch, you could probably get by with zero to half of one of those qualities. Intelligence is the most difficult to fake, so if you have that, you're holding some decent cards. And remember, confidence is everything.

yeahwho

10-22-2009, 05:18 AM

You hit that ass twist it up reeeal good then you move on. Like Leon (JB Smoove) from Curb your Enthusiasm says, "I bring the ruckus to the ladies (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs5w02NvSyI&feature=related)!"

Bob

10-22-2009, 05:41 AM

dear mickill,

please give me dating advice, you know, like for a chick. how do i get dudes? you are the best advice giver i have ever heard.

hey! get your own thread

Pres Zount

10-22-2009, 06:52 AM

Well are you going to cast some magic or not?

Kid Presentable

10-22-2009, 07:27 AM

Bob, I was going to weigh in, but thought better of it. Then I see that you're getting advice from married dudes. Sort of like asking a suicide bomber for travel tips. And women are weighing in. What they want changes each week.

Women use the toilet, too. So don't be nervous. Just treat her like a person. You have graduated law school and you run. You could be perceived as an overachieving jock. Your reclusive nature could be construed by the strumpet as being aloof. You have to know how she might see you. Own it.

Ignore all of the advice you've gotten in this thread. Mine included. Have I offered advice? Hard to know.

hpdrifter

10-22-2009, 11:48 AM

The date isn't til this Saturday? Man, there's so much build up, I am on pins and needles to know how it goes!

mickill

10-22-2009, 11:48 AM

How's Bob ever going to wed this girl and proceed to hit that if he only gets advice from single dudes? Ha ha....boy have you got this all twisted, Kid P.

Echewta

10-22-2009, 11:50 AM

Hold it now, women use toilets too?

hpdrifter

10-22-2009, 11:52 AM

Yeah, I mean if a dude is married he would, in theory, have had a few successful dates. Sometimes even with the same chick!

Nuzzolese

10-22-2009, 11:57 AM

Does it really matter what he actually talks about? I don't think it does. First encounters are more about feelings, vibes, body language, smells...

mickill

10-22-2009, 12:02 PM

Smells are indeed going to be a big factor.

hpdrifter

10-22-2009, 12:02 PM

I think there's a lot of talk in here about deal breakers. Don't do/say this or that under any circumstances! Thing is, if this girl likes you, she's going to ignore/forgive a ton of shit. She'll find your awkwardness cute.

Also, she's not the judge and jury and you're not on trial. Chances are she won't notice the shit because her mind will be racing kicking herself over her own stupid shit.

Two people only half listening to the other because with the other half they're both mentally second-guessing everything they say.

Good times.

hpdrifter

10-22-2009, 12:03 PM

Really, I think the most important this is do not smell bad. No bad breath, no body odor or musty smelling clothes. That, I think, is the only real deal-breaker.

Nuzzolese

10-22-2009, 12:07 PM

But I still think he should avoid mentioning diarrhea.

Dorothy Wood

10-22-2009, 12:16 PM

Really, I think the most important this is do not smell bad. No bad breath, no body odor or musty smelling clothes. That, I think, is the only real deal-breaker.

I don't know, I used to have a major crush on a guy who smelled like mildew. we were 18 though, and he had his own apartment. I think he just didn't know how to do laundry and left his clothes in the washer too long before drying them. he also bleached his hair yellow. and was a big fan of ICP. I really don't know what I was thinking....so, um, yeah, nevermind, bob. smell good.

hpdrifter

10-22-2009, 12:22 PM

he also bleached his hair yellow. and was a big fan of ICP.

I was wrong, this is definitely a deal-breaker.

NicRN77

10-22-2009, 03:53 PM

smelling good and looking put together is very important.

Don't wear your cell phone on your belt either. The last date I went on I noticed that and that was a big check in the "no second date" column. Dork.

rirv

10-22-2009, 03:59 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S90EUwVnUjY

mickill

10-22-2009, 04:02 PM

Yeah, you're supposed to keep your cell in your purse (http://whatsinyourmanpurse.com/storage/cristiano%20ronaldo%20vuitton%20damier%20geant.png ?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1251867005686).

rirv

10-22-2009, 04:08 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQPW2jC_URY

Ty Webb

10-22-2009, 04:34 PM

i never wear cologne. bakimg soda deoderant and that's it.

Ty Webb

10-22-2009, 04:36 PM

also a western shirt and a beard is crucial for first dates.

Nuzzolese

10-22-2009, 05:05 PM

What does it say about her on her cupid profile?

Do you think you should mention her online profile or what you thought of her pictures?

Bob

10-22-2009, 05:08 PM

What does it say about her on her cupid profile?

Do you think you should mention her online profile or what you thought of her pictures?

yeah that's kind of a weird thing. it's like, you want to ask questions and get to know each other, but what if you ask a question that's answered by the profile? is that a faux pas? but what if i really want to talk about something that's on her profile? do i dork out and say "so i saw on your profile that" or do i ask her about it as if i didn't know about it and am asking for the first time? i really want to avoid talking about the internet. i hope she feels as weird about it as i do, then we could talk about how weird it is and have a bonding moment

yeahwho

10-22-2009, 05:22 PM

If you plan on bringing the ruckus to that first date, wear the penny loafers with a nickle in the slot.

Find out her cause early on and no matter how ludicrous her cause, second that emotion. You have to bring your "A" game bob.

Since you yourself are just between jobs, let it be known you're a pro bono mutha fucka, you pro bono everything and are well known in the local pro bono community as possessing a rather large pro bono caseload. Let it be known will pro bono her cause to her satisfaction.

Try not to mention Al or Tipper gore, these two names are synonymous with flaccid and will be deal breakers to bringing on the ruckus.

Talk dreams, wear that shit I linked in the earlier thread and dammit make sure there is full disclosure on this board.

mickill

10-22-2009, 05:24 PM

Bob

10-22-2009, 05:26 PM

And then you laugh and touch her shoulder.

what if we're sitting across the table from each other and i can't quite reach? should i get up and move to touch her, or will that not look natural

Nuzzolese

10-22-2009, 05:26 PM

Are you going to eat or just drink?

Adam

10-22-2009, 05:27 PM

on my web dates I found that its pretty natural to talk about the place you met - it won't seem as weird if you naturally talk about what led you to go there as long as you don't seem desperate and it'll take away what they may feel the stigma that lingers over your date.

On other dates you obviously have some sort of connection which will no doubt be talked about (work, gym, hobby club etc) so being natural and ok with your choices will make them feel the same.

I wouldn't say you spend all your time on your web but if you just say your line of work/socialising doesn't bring you to meet any new women - and I bet theirs will be a similar story.

yeahwho

10-22-2009, 05:38 PM

And then you laugh and touch her shoulder.

No winking though. Never wink on a date. Unless you just beat up a guy who was beating up a chick and you're wiping the blood off your knuckles. Then it's okay to look at her and wink.

This is a good strategy, I like it a lot and of all the weapons for your arsenal freely presented here bob... this may be the very best.

Because it may have been awhile I would like to just point out a common mistake made by much of todays generation, do not, I repeat DO NOT make a face like this ;) when you wink. She will automatically think you're a lonely gay guy. Blood or no blood on your knuckles.

mickill

10-22-2009, 05:40 PM

what if we're sitting across the table from each other and i can't quite reach? should i get up and move to touch her, or will that not look natural

No, it would probably look fine.

yeahwho

10-22-2009, 05:47 PM

what is the natural progression for the shoulder touch? Should bob use a full hand clasp or just rest his fingers on the shoulder? Is anything over 3 seconds awkward or should you continue on for a full 5 seconds plus anticipating her to reach up and hold bobs hand to her shoulder. Then what? Sexy Time?

just curious

saz

10-22-2009, 06:07 PM

just talk about stuff

Kid Presentable

10-22-2009, 06:25 PM

Yeah, I mean if a dude is married he would, in theory, have had a few successful dates. Sometimes even with the same chick!

He wants to fuck the girl, not make her his betroth-ed.

Bob, you should talk about Arrested Development.

Echewta

10-22-2009, 06:39 PM

I'm really craving chicken pot pie right now so that could be an interesting topic. Heck, bring up me. I'm sure I'd be a good 10-15 mins of stimulating conversation.

mickill

10-22-2009, 06:40 PM

Ooooh listen to the married guy still trying to offer Bob advice. More like Kid Hypocrite if you ask me.

what is the natural progression for the shoulder touch? Should bob use a full hand clasp or just rest his fingers on the shoulder? Is anything over 3 seconds awkward or should you continue on for a full 5 seconds plus anticipating her to reach up and hold bobs hand to her shoulder. Then what? Sexy Time?

just curious

Gentle, dude. And more like 2 seconds. 1 second or less would evoke awkwardness. 3 is kinda invasive.

2 is perfect. To her, possibly even fleeting.

Echewta

10-22-2009, 06:59 PM

I suggest letting the woman/female/paid escort making the first move for physical contact.

Bob

10-22-2009, 07:13 PM

Ooooh listen to the married guy still trying to offer Bob advice. More like Kid Hypocrite if you ask me.

Gentle, dude. And more like 2 seconds. 1 second or less would evoke awkwardness. 3 is kinda invasive.

2 is perfect. To her, possibly even fleeting.

will it be weird if i count out loud while i'm doing it? do you think she'd even notice?

mickill

10-22-2009, 07:37 PM

I think a stopwatch would be more discreet.

Bob

10-22-2009, 07:48 PM

i'll just cough so she doesn't hear it beep. oh but then i'd cough in her face, wouldn't i? i couldn't cover my mouth because i need one hand to touch her shoulder and the other to...say, how am i even supposed to start it in the first place?

i think you're giving me bad advice, mickill

mickill

10-22-2009, 08:06 PM

How would a guy who can't count to two in his head know the difference between good or bad advice?

DipDipDive

10-22-2009, 09:38 PM

yeah that's kind of a weird thing. it's like, you want to ask questions and get to know each other, but what if you ask a question that's answered by the profile? is that a faux pas? but what if i really want to talk about something that's on her profile? do i dork out and say "so i saw on your profile that" or do i ask her about it as if i didn't know about it and am asking for the first time? i really want to avoid talking about the internet. i hope she feels as weird about it as i do, then we could talk about how weird it is and have a bonding moment

I met my boyfriend on match.com. I went out on about a million dates before I found him, all from match. I liked talking about that with the people I went out with, because it seemed they always felt the same way about meeting people online as I did...too hard to meet people in bars, not really my style to talk to strangers, etc. But my boyfriend's response when I asked him why he met match chicks was my favorite - "well, I mean, I get everything else I need from the internet, so why stop at dating?" I thought it was super cute and clever. That's something the two of you already have in common, so why not talk about it? That's what people talk about on dates. Shit they have in common. Use it to your advantage. It can be an ice breaker. (y)

The worst dates I've been on are the ones where I did all the talking. You're supposed to be getting to know each other and that won't happen if all you're doing is talking about her. There should be some back and forth with the question asking, which is pretty easy to do. After you answer a question of hers, ask her one back on the same topic.

Don't wear something you wouldn't normally just to impress her. If you wear something you already have, you'll be more comfortable which equals more confident and you won't create a false image of yourself.

DON'T WEAR COLOGNE. Especially if you don't regularly. A girl should dig the way her man smells naturally and vice versa. Let mother nature do her thang, son!

I'd suggest going somewhere that allows the two of you to do something interactive while still having an opportunity to just chat. For example, my boyfriend and I went on our first date at a bar/restaurant that has board games. We played Trivial Pursuit. Perfect. The questions opened up topics of conversation and the nature of the game taught us about each other. Something like that is great because if shit gets too awkward or you don't really have anything in common, you have a way to pass the time instead of uncomfortably sitting there fishing for things to say to one another.

Ask her if she has Netflix, and if so, what's in her queue. Ask her what the last concert she went to was. Ask her what her favorite spots in the city are. Ask her where she would live if she could live anywhere in the country or the world.

Don't be late, don't check out other chicks, let her order first, hold the door open for her, pay for her (even if she offers to go dutch), and yes, WALK HER TO HER CAR.

Just relax. It'll be fun. Remember that she wouldn't have asked you out if you didn't have something to offer, which you do. And I'm not talking about your erection.

zippo

10-22-2009, 09:43 PM

bob...dont ask! thatll make you even more nervous whether youre trying to say/do the advice you got! theres no going around it, if you dont have much experience with first dates, its gonna be sort of nerve wrecking hahaha...of course it is! but hey thats how it is.

anyways....HOW DID IT GO!! (y)(n)

Documad

10-22-2009, 09:58 PM

DDD gives good advice.

But remember that if her last concert was something completely lame, you can't make a face.

Myu-to

10-22-2009, 10:18 PM

I'm just so proud that Bob is actually going on a date!

*sniff*

You'll do fine, just be yourself.

You go, Bob.

Myu-to

10-22-2009, 10:19 PM

also a western shirt and a beard is crucial for first dates.
With gay cowboys.

NicRN77

10-22-2009, 10:41 PM

Just be yourself...its going to be FINE!!!!

Damn, haven't you HAD this date already??? I feel like we've been talking about it forever! :p

Bob

10-22-2009, 11:07 PM

Just be yourself...its going to be FINE!!!!

Damn, haven't you HAD this date already??? I feel like we've been talking about it forever! :p

i know, right? i almost wish i'd waited a few days to make this topic, it's almost beginning to feel like this big psyched up huge event but i mean really, normal people go on like a million of these things so i'm trying not to be too nervous about it. i'm really not that nervous, at least not yet, i'm just trying to be as cool as i can

[good advice and]

Ask her if she has Netflix, and if so, what's in her queue. .

interestingly enough, i already know this from reading her profile - it's battlestar galactica. how cool is that? not only is she enough of a dork to watch that show but she publicly admits it. she seems like kind of a nerd which is great for me because i'm a nerd too.

DipDipDive

10-22-2009, 11:12 PM

See? It IS okay to talk about what's in her profile, and I encourage you to do so.

Myu-to

10-22-2009, 11:46 PM

You'll do fine, just be yourself.
Just be yourself...its going to be FINE!!!!

I already have a dog, I don't need a parrot.

yeahwho

10-23-2009, 12:10 AM

Sounds like you're going to need a headband bob. The pressure has obviously gotten to you and salty eyes can confuse the game. Stay with a neutral tone or at second best a white background with blue and red stripes.

I never did ask, is it day or night time during this date, because ultimately a visor would rock out.

Bob

10-23-2009, 03:15 AM

so here's a question: are there any women here who actually like the smell of cologne on men? i'm not about to do the research but my memory of the replies in this thread is basically that the women who have posted in it have emphatically (and occasionally in all caps) advised me to not wear cologne on this date. and i'm not going to, i'm not that clueless (well, not any more), but the barrage of "DO NOT WEAR COLOGNE" responses have got me thinking, do women actually like the smell of cologne on a man, or is it all just a facade propagated by the cologne industry?

Adam

10-23-2009, 03:20 AM

I haven't worn cologne for over 10 years. Deodorant yes.

I particularly don't like perfume on women either though. Deodorant yes.

edit; I know I'm not a women but I act enough of pussy to think my opinion valid - so there

Kid Presentable

10-23-2009, 05:55 AM

I know shitloads of women who like cologne.

Rock up with a pan in a plastic bag, wearing slippers. Put teabags in everything you drink. No need to thank me.

hpdrifter

10-23-2009, 11:47 AM

I like cologne on dates. It's nice, it's like you smell it and you think, this is a real date. He's trying to smell good for me. It almost makes things more formal when you smell cologne on a man.

It's tonight isn't it? Man, I'm going out of town this weekend and may or may not have access to the internet. I can't believe I am going to have to wait til Monday to find out what the fuck happened.

Nuzzolese

10-23-2009, 12:07 PM

What about Axe? "Double pits to chesty."

I like a little cologne. Just enough that you might catch a whiff of it while he holds a door open for you, or if he lends you his jacket - which probably isn't likely on the first date, but anyway. Too much is terrible. I would spray it into the air once, six inches in front of your chest, then step into the mist. Whether you do that before or after you put your shirt on is up to you. That would be enough. It's a touch more refined than just smelling of cleanliness.

Bob do you have a car? I was going to suggest cleaning it, even if you don't plan to give her a ride anywhere. You never know.

Bob, do you put stuff in your hair? I'm not about to suggest you do or don't, I'm just curious. I'm guessing you don't?

Nuzzolese

10-23-2009, 12:14 PM

By the way, I scanned through a couple of battlestar galactica message boards but I didn't see any threads about an upcoming first date. But I couldn't even find a battlestar-free general discussion.

Kid Presentable

10-23-2009, 12:30 PM

Were they talking about a new photo album?

mickill

10-23-2009, 01:39 PM

I like a little cologne. Just enough that you might catch a whiff of it while he holds a door open for you, or if he lends you his jacket - which probably isn't likely on the first date, but anyway. Too much is terrible. I would spray it into the air once, six inches in front of your chest, then step into the mist. Whether you do that before or after you put your shirt on is up to you. That would be enough. It's a touch more refined than just smelling of cleanliness.

This is what I mean. If he decides against fragrance here, he's basically going to smell like soap (I'm guessing Irish Spring), possibly deodorant, or hair product of some sort anyway. And yes, spray it up in the air once and walk into it. It's not like you need to pour aftershave into your palms and slap it on your face Tom Selleck style. It should be subtle. If you can smell it on yourself, you've already f'ed it up.

Nuzzolese

10-23-2009, 01:53 PM

But what if he has cologne-like scented deodorant and soap? What then?

mickill

10-23-2009, 02:00 PM

Which is why I already suggested he go to a department store beforehand to use a tester. For something new-ish and in season.

Bob

10-23-2009, 03:12 PM

i use an unscented soap (dove something or other, it has exfoliating beads) and unscented mitchum antiperspirant, so no smells there. i use a hair product (http://www.justbeautifully.co.uk/american-crew-styling-products-ac-fibermouldingcreme.php) that smells vaguely of lemons, it's the only one i've found in years of searching that makes my hair look good so don't even talk to me about that. i don't have a car, no use for it in the city, she doesn't have one either.

hey, wouldn't it be crazy if she didn't date much either and in an effort to come up with things to talk about she googled "things to talk about on first dates" and found this thread? i wonder if she would figure out it was me. she knows my name is bob, so...yeah she seems pretty on the ball i think she'd figure it out pretty quickly. all the stuff about boners and staring at your boobs was a joke!

Adam

10-23-2009, 03:22 PM

ha! I just googled it and page 5 is indexed first of this thread. If you use quotations that is.

edit: without quotations, we're still on the first page though and the longer this thread is active the higher it'll still get (y)

Helvete

10-23-2009, 03:53 PM

I am going on a date next week! (y) She's very nice.

wanton wench

10-23-2009, 04:58 PM

I have not read this entire thread but I think you need to ask yourself if you really like this girl or do you just want to get laid? of course guys will never turn down getting laid but if you really like her, you aint gettin lucky saturday! or to be more correct if SHE really likes you then your not gettin any. you'd think her too easy. she doesnt want you to think that(even if she is)

so my advice....dont do anything different. wear your favorite jeans. if you wear colonge everyday then wear colonge. BE YOURSELF! there is nothing worse then going on a date and loving it only to go on your second date or third and it seems like your with a totally different person.

TAL

10-23-2009, 05:08 PM

Don't eat beans before you go meet her.

Bob

10-23-2009, 05:39 PM

i'm eating a ham sandwich right now, is that ok? it's always sunny in philadelphia has just taught me that you shouldn't eat cheese before a date but it's got a slice of provolone but that shouldn't be a problem right?

Myu-to

10-23-2009, 06:48 PM

Umm

Bob, what the fuck are you still doing here?

Shouldn't you be showering, trimming the pubes, washing your car, ironing your clothes? Something?

Enough with this shithole, get out there already!

Bob

10-23-2009, 06:52 PM

mickill

10-23-2009, 07:01 PM

Don't forget to pick up the corsage.

Bob

10-23-2009, 07:06 PM

i kind of wish i'd taken off my tux before i ate that sandwich because i spilled a little mayonnaise on it. it's not a huge stain but...well i don't know, it'll be dark, i bet she won't notice

one hour to go, i'm nervous now. i hope she's nervous too otherwise i'll come across as...well, as myself i suppose

mickill

10-23-2009, 07:12 PM

She'll probably just think it's dry jizz from your last date.

Bob

10-23-2009, 07:17 PM

i wouldn't want her to think that! i don't want to appear as some kind of philistine who keeps his tux on during sex, that's almost as bad as leaving your socks on if television is telling the truth

mickill

10-23-2009, 07:20 PM

She'd probably just assume you're more of a shooter, and not a dribbler. She may even perceive that as a good thing.

Bob

10-23-2009, 07:28 PM

i guess i could say something like "i had it draped over a chair across the room and on account of my virility and the amazingness of my sex, it must have been caught in the crossfire" and then i'd yell "CROSSFIYAAAHHHH!" and she'd laugh and we'd go off somewhere and do it for a while

mickill

10-23-2009, 07:32 PM

You forgot a crucial step in going from laughing to boinking: the 2 second pat on the shoulder.

The rest of your plan sounds solid though.

Bob

10-23-2009, 07:34 PM

the pat, i always forget the pat. thanks mickill

alright then, off i go

mickill

10-23-2009, 07:36 PM

knock 'er dead, dude.

Documad

10-23-2009, 07:48 PM

Bob, you are such a terrific guy -- giving us humor until the last moment before your date. Now go out there and be yourself and have fun and you will be fine unless she's a worthless piece of shit. Bye.

Myu-to

10-23-2009, 09:38 PM

knock 'er dead, dude.
You mean knock her out, and cop a feel.

Bob

10-23-2009, 11:15 PM

so it went well i think? i was way more nervous and awkward than i expected to be and i felt like i put too much of the burden on her to carry the conversation because i kept forgetting what to say but mostly i wasn't too bad, there wasn't much awkward silence, and we seemed to laugh a lot. the bar was kind of loud and my voice doesn't project too well so there was too much leaning forward and repeating myself for my liking but she also did not enjoy the noise so that's good

i had a hard time reading her facial cues - she would sort of go back and forth between smiling and laughing (genuinely, as near as i could see) and kind of awkwardly looking around the room. maybe she was just nervous but at a few points i definitely felt like she was bored and looking for an escape or something but i tried not to let myself get psyched out about it. i did catch her playing with her hair a bit but whenever she did it she was looking away from me so i'm not sure if it was a sexy thing or an awkward "i don't know what to do with my hands" kind of thing. plus she had kind of short hair so there wasn't much for her to play with. it was more like she was brushing it aside with her fingers now that i think about it. i don't know if that counts

i had too much beer - i had 3 in a short period of time and it's not like i was hammered or anything but that last one definitely put me into the point where i was kind of messing up sentences and saying things that perhaps i shouldn't say

but at the end, i said "i had fun" and she said "i did too" and i said "do you want to go out again sometime?" and she said "yes" and i said "i'll call you" and then we hugged and went our separate ways so i guess for whatever reason she liked me enough to want a second date? either that or i put her on the spot and she lied and she's going to find an excuse to reject me when i call her but i think that's just me being pessimistic, she did seem pretty genuine about wanting to see me again though i can't imagine why

so uh yeah as far as i know i seem to have a second date. i guess i did ok. when should i call her? according to swingers i should wait 3 days but everyone in that movie was a douche so i don't trust it.

also she was really, really cute. like even better looking than in her photos. like "why are you going out with someone like me?" level of cute. i don't know, maybe i'm better looking than i think i am, maybe i grew into my body and nobody's bothered to tell me but yeah she could do way better than me i think. plus she's smart and funny to boot, she seems almost too good. maybe she needs a kidney? i don't know, i'll keep my guard up

also sorry mickill, i forgot to pat her shoulder. it didn't matter though, the table was too big for it anyway

god i hope she isn't somehow reading this

jabumbo

10-24-2009, 12:01 AM

next time, hug stronger, buddy

Adam

10-24-2009, 12:25 AM

Tomorrow evening, I say text her. Or call her on day two.

Don't forget to masturbate over her before you see her again so you know what it'll be like.

Remember what you wore to, so you don't wear the same again.

NicRN77

10-24-2009, 02:37 AM

Kid Presentable

10-24-2009, 03:34 AM

Don't forget to masturbate over her before you see her again so you know what it'll be like.

This is crucial. When you see her naked for the first time, and her you, you want to have at least plotted a route.

Pres Zount

10-24-2009, 04:07 AM

What are you Bob, Australian? Stop making every sentence a question?

zippo

10-24-2009, 03:49 PM

woohooo! in my opinion that went awesome! and she said she wanted too see you again and you sensed it was genuine. you can usually tell when someones being honest, thats awesome.

id say around 3-7 days is ok to call her again. whenever you feel most comfortable. i mean, you have the security that shes somewhat into you, you can relax a bit. so when you call her, have in mind that she wants to talk to you too, its gonna be fine.

misty, your tuuurn. and then randy. no? that would be cute.

yeahwho

10-24-2009, 07:29 PM

Bob you had excellent situational awareness as opposed to the NW pilots who overshot Minn/StPaul by 150 miles. Your approach and mannerisms were smooth and on target.

If you have to stroke the tally whacker and get out a little pre-ruckus then so be it. I'm a firm believer in you bring the ruckus to the ladies though.

First dates usually blow but this one sounds like it could become at the very least productive. Did you learn anything about her, does she like music, sports, movies? Does she have any career goals? I hope you didn't just go on and on about the BBMB.

Helvete

10-24-2009, 07:54 PM

Fuck all that 'wait a few days' shit, it's all a silly game. I tried the 'being cool' and taking it easy shit, and basically there is no point in it. If a girl likes you, she wants to know you like her too. Too much time is wasted if this happens and you are 'playing the game'.

Bob

10-24-2009, 09:03 PM

Where did you end up going?

I say text or call her Sunday. You could send her a friendly text Saturday but it may seem too eager...but if you really like her it would be ok. Don't go by those stupid 3 day rules. If you feel you want to call/text her the day after, do it.

Glad things went well!

we went to the field in central. it was a decent enough place, a bit too loud, but the service was nice and we managed to get a table so that was cool. there was a little thing of flowers on the table and the waitress took it away at some point when she took our empty glasses. not cool, i was gonna drink that

i think i'm gonna call her tomorrow. should i call or text? i'm nervous on the phone but i figured texting would be too impersonal or something so i was gonna suck it up and call anyway but if texting is a thing that normal people do i could just do that

Kid Presentable

10-24-2009, 10:10 PM

Call.

checkyourprez

10-24-2009, 10:33 PM

dont call.

give it some days.

10-25-2009, 12:31 AM

Kid Presentable

10-25-2009, 01:49 AM

That figurine is the bomb.

DipDipDive

10-25-2009, 01:54 AM

All these dudes telling you not to call are dudes.

I am a lady and I say call tomorrow. It's the polite thing to do, not the desperate thing to do as many people will lead you to believe. A few months back, I went out on a date with a douchebag I didn't like at all. Despite my disinterest in ever seeing him again, I found it very flattering and thoughtful that he called the next day to tell me he had a nice time with me. Anyone who wouldn't appreciate a follow-up like that sucks and isn't worth your time.

Bob

10-25-2009, 02:40 AM

F that. Call. Just ask her how her days is going like you care or something. The conversation should go on as normal. If she makes it obvious she has some free time coming up, tell her about your Troy McClure figurine.

That figurine is the bomb.

it's lionel hutz FYI. you call yourselves simpsons fans? come on. what other simpsons figurine am i going to own and pose next to a bottle of whiskey?

alright so yeah definitely will call her tomorrow. hopefully she will still be wanting to go out with me again. i guess at this point i need to graduate to echewta's second date thread

NicRN77

10-25-2009, 02:56 AM

Ya, listen to us ladies. Don't play games. Call her.

Echewta

10-25-2009, 03:15 AM

Or write her a nice email.

HEIRESS

10-25-2009, 11:44 AM

with new people I sometimes have phone anxiety because I come across better in person
so some girls would rather a text or email even before a phone-call.

rirv

10-25-2009, 01:15 PM

Are we going to have a thread for every single date?

FACT: I have never been on a date.

na§tee

10-25-2009, 01:33 PM

FACT: I have never been on a date.
yeah, i hadn't until a few months ago either. i've always just gone pretty headfirst into relationships that just.. happen.

opening that date with "you are the very first person to ask me on a date, fyi" and seeing him be like :eek::confused: was an icebreaker. indeed.

HEIRESS

10-25-2009, 01:48 PM

I was tricked into one once. but that was about 8 years ago.

I ended up dating him for 10 months anyways.

Echewta

10-25-2009, 02:19 PM

I've never had a date either.

DipDipDive

10-25-2009, 02:35 PM

I never truly dated until about a year ago. It's both really fun and totally horrible.

Bob

10-25-2009, 03:16 PM

it would have been nice to know all this before you people started giving me dating tips

rirv

10-25-2009, 03:55 PM

But we have all had sex...

Bob

10-25-2009, 04:10 PM

well i didn't ask for things to talk about on first sexes, did i

Bob

10-25-2009, 04:10 PM

that thread comes later

Helvete

10-25-2009, 04:21 PM

Haha, I eagerly await that. So Bob, how long has it been now? Have you spoken to her yet?

rirv

10-25-2009, 04:28 PM

Are we getting invited to the wedding?

Echewta

10-25-2009, 04:44 PM

Have you let her know you are a book fan of Juice Newton?

Documad

10-25-2009, 06:16 PM

it would have been nice to know all this before you people started giving me dating tips
Ha ha.

I hope you called her.

Bob

10-25-2009, 06:22 PM

i'm gonna call her soon, after i eat. i was waiting until the end of today (sunday) so that i can ask "how was your weekend" now that it's over

Dorothy Wood

10-25-2009, 07:20 PM

did you wear cologne?

Bob

10-25-2009, 07:28 PM

did you wear cologne?

a little yeah. one squirt on the back of the neck and then one misting into the air that i walked through

anyway call made, date also made, super duper

RobMoney$

10-25-2009, 07:29 PM

where are you going for round 2?

rirv

10-25-2009, 07:38 PM

Something to talk about:
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/features/letters/4701331.Horsing_around/?ref=mc

Bob

10-25-2009, 07:45 PM

where are you going for round 2?

we're going to get dinner in my neighborhood. i haven't picked a place yet but there's a bunch of restaurants around here with all sorts of different types of food, from mexican to tibetan. i'll ask her how exotic her tastes buds are on the night and figure something out. i probably won't phrase it like that though

yeahwho

10-25-2009, 07:47 PM

a little yeah. one squirt on the back of the neck and then one misting into the air that i walked through

anyway call made, date also made, super duper

That is really good news, awesome news. You now have the history of being a first date maven. She digs you and it's great, looks like you'll be having some fun times ahead.

Echewta

10-25-2009, 07:58 PM

a little yeah. one squirt on the back of the neck and then one misting into the air that i walked through

anyway call made, date also made, super duper

You forgot the wrists. Spray one then rub together. Come on dude.

Bob

10-25-2009, 08:12 PM

You forgot the wrists. Spray one then rub together. Come on dude.

you know i was going to, i usually do that, but then everyone on here was like DONT WEAR COLOGNE DONT WEAR COLOGNE and then the other everyones on here were like "no man, cologne is great, it shows you're trying to impress her" and so i compromised by wearing a light amount.

usually when i wear it it's one on the chest, one on the back of the neck, and one on the wrist, rubbing it against the other one. it's a pretty mild smelling cologne as near as i can tell so 3 squirts isn't overpowering. i don't think? anyway i played it safe and she didn't seem to have any allergic reactions so i guess it was ok?

Echewta

10-25-2009, 08:18 PM

I like making a girl sneeze so then i can say "bless you" and feel hollier than her thus establishing my spirtual dominance early.

Bob

10-25-2009, 09:01 PM

i prefer "you are sooo good lookin"

Knuckles

10-25-2009, 10:10 PM

Best thread in quite some time. (y)

Congrats on getting the second date Mr. Bob. (y)
Sounds promising...

Knuckles

10-25-2009, 10:12 PM

I have to add another (y)

Two just didn't express the right amount of awesome.

NicRN77

10-26-2009, 12:28 AM

Yahoo!!!:D:D

Helvete

10-26-2009, 02:20 AM

Good work, Bob. I am impressed. First date is always the trickiest, if she likes you enough for a 2nd then you can't be doing too badly!

I'm not going to make my own thread, but I hope I'll have the same luck as you with the girl I'm going out with next week.

b i o n i c

10-26-2009, 12:25 PM

yes bob!

for a second date, i suggest bowling or making her one of your ramen noodle specialties at the apartment

hpdrifter

10-26-2009, 12:31 PM

Nice job, Bob!

I'm happy for you.

trailerprincess

10-26-2009, 12:32 PM

This thread almost makes me want to start dating again.

Almost

I might see how it pans out for Bob and take it from there. No pressure at all, Bob.

jabumbo

10-26-2009, 01:41 PM

tp and i didn't talk on our first date. we just stared deeply into each others eyes for a couple of hours.

skinnybutphat

10-26-2009, 02:14 PM

good job Bob

I recommend using cologne on your clothes opposed to spraying on any part of your body that might get kissed or licked.

Helvete

10-26-2009, 02:49 PM

Dorothy Wood

10-26-2009, 02:54 PM

Are there rules on how to greet your date when you see her? Is it like a high five, firm hand shake, kiss on the cheek or what? I've never actually thought about this and don't want to get it wrong. Bear in mind, I am not Italian or French and neither is she.

if it's a blind date, a firm yet gentle handshake.

if you know her, a gentle and quick hug.

I think. umm. I really don't know.

hpdrifter

10-26-2009, 03:36 PM

Take your cues from her. If she's not giving any I think offering your hand is best.

Guy Incognito

10-26-2009, 03:49 PM

this thread is awesome.

nice one bob (y)

Echewta

10-26-2009, 03:52 PM

Always greet a woman with a Laurel and Hardy handshake when first you meet her.

Bob

10-26-2009, 03:55 PM

Are there rules on how to greet your date when you see her? Is it like a high five, firm hand shake, kiss on the cheek or what? I've never actually thought about this and don't want to get it wrong. Bear in mind, I am not Italian or French and neither is she.

i was wondering about this too, i think i meant to ask it but i didn't. when i met her she went in for a hug so that was easy. and hopefully a good sign?

so what about this whole kissing thing? is that something you're supposed to do on a second date? not like a full on make out session or anything but like, at the end, when we're saying goodbye, should i kiss her? i feel like that's something i'm supposed to do soon but i don't want to be too forward and screw it up

Echewta

10-26-2009, 04:01 PM

^ Oh man, this question is going to get a dozen pages of replies.

If the date is full of energy and you get the signs she likes you, go for it. Ask if you want, I usually do. Heads up, the music that usually comes on during first kiss scenes in movies doesn't come up in real life. I usually have the Thompson Twins song from the end of Sixteen Candles in my head when I'm moving in.

You should kiss by the first to third date. Anytime after that, you are just friends.

hpdrifter

10-26-2009, 04:09 PM

This is a toughie. But whatever you do, don't ask "Can I kiss you?" whenever someone has said that to me I have always found it super awkward and a total moment killer, I'm not sure why. Anyway, if you have to ask you probably shouldn't.

But at the same time, don't wait too long. I dated this guy for awhile and he was great, super nice, good looking, he obviously liked me but not in an overbearing way. Took me on creative dates where he didn't have to spend a huge amount of money (it makes me uncomfortable to be spent a huge amount of money on). But he never kissed me. After like 6 dates he didn't make a move, didn't hold my hand, I think we might have hugged once. I even sat in his car once for an extra 15 minutes to give him the opportunity. I could tell he wanted to he just... didn't. It's a tough spot to be in for a guy, I don't envy you having to be the one to make this happen. But it'll go a long way if you hit the right mark.

You could maybe start by hugging and then just stay in close. If she doesn't turn her head or back away I say take a shot. If she looks at your lips she wants you to kiss her.

One thing a guy did once that made me absolutely swoon was put his hand on the side of my face and run his thumb over my lips before he drew my face in slowly to plant one on me. But that move takes confidence for sure. If you're going to do it you have to commit or you could end up poking her in the eye. If you do it right it will probably lead to sex.

hpdrifter

10-26-2009, 04:11 PM

I just say the reply from Echewta. oops.

skinnybutphat

10-26-2009, 04:26 PM

I always tried to end a first date with a polite gentleman like kiss on the cheek. If granted a second date, I go right to the bag o tricks and bust out the popcorn trick.

extra butter

Bob

10-26-2009, 04:28 PM

Took me on creative dates where he didn't have to spend a huge amount of money (it makes me uncomfortable to be spent a huge amount of money on).

out of curiosity, what kind of dates were these? given my current situation i could use some ideas

Helvete

10-26-2009, 04:30 PM

I think I'm going to go for the high five.

Adam

10-26-2009, 04:43 PM

If you're unsure about the kiss you could say "how about a good night kiss", that way she could move in for the cheek and you know its not good but if she lets you move slowly to her lips then softly go in for it.

Its better not asking though but I've used that line before and its got me into a kiss (and then relationship) at a point she was ready to leave to get onto her train.

I've been the guy hpdrifter has described in the past and its annoyed me that I haven't made the move - but the stupid thing is, its always been on girls I've liked more because I don't want to screw it up and it obviously has because I'm a pussy.

Also, as for the cheaper dates - the first two or three you're gonna have to swallow I'm afraid. But taking a walk if its a nice night or try and check out if there is fair or something nearby what you can walk around and talk and it shouldn't cost you much as the sights and sounds of others can be enough stimulant and if the conversation runs dry you could then take a ride.

Another thing I've done is booked stuff like bowling in advanced if its cheaper online to do it (which it often is) and as long as its pre-arrange and agree the activity it won't be something you have to budget in. You can even look a little thoughtful as making sure you don't have to wait for a lane. Plus then she might buy the drinks for being so thoughtful.

hpdrifter

10-26-2009, 04:47 PM

I think the first one we just met for coffee. But he took the time to find a cute out of the way place that had some unique coffee drink he liked and wasn't just let's meet at one of the three Starbuckses in U-Village or some shit.

Once he took me out to brunch/lunch and he found this interesting little soul food restaurant in a neighborhood I don't get to very often. I think it was maybe $10 each for brunch buffet, it was really good and something I'd wanted to do for awhile.

He invited me to a movie running at an independent old time movie house. I think it was $6 each or something.

He took me to this big park and we just walked around. It was cold, so that might have been the time we hugged.

There are lots of things you can do. Do you have any niche museums in Boston? I remember when I was there there was some place called Fenuil Hall or something that had shops you could look in. Maybe that's too touristy, though, for people who live in Boston. Walk around, do some window shopping, buy her a cocoa, talk. Sounds like a great time to me.

All that really matters is that you tried.