Sometimes you have to sacrifice and be a servant

[ericlee]

For your other half. Even though it may seem to be a pain in the ass, it does have its rewards afterward.

A little list of things that makes me feel as a servant are: most of the time, I'm in the living room watching my tv and surfing the net or practicing my guitars and things and the mrs. is in the bedroom on her computer and watching tv.

I'll stop by to chat with her or if I get up to take a pee, she'll almost always ask me to get her a glass of soda or water.

Eh, it'll be irritating a bit as to her being a perfectly healthy, younger and capable human and that the true fact is that she's being lazy, haha.

She loves to take rose baths at least once a week and I'm always expected to scrub her back with some scrubby thingy. It's not a bad thing but I was right in the middle of recording with my headphones and next thing I know, my name is being called. So, I have to unplug all of my equipment and scrub her back.

I go back to recording and I'm called again- this time I have to rub some rose scented lotion on her back, now my hands smell feminine.

I suppose I feel like a servant because I really don't ask for much at all, mostly if I can't find something I'll ask her.

The thing is- if everyone has their gripes over the tiny things that may seem to be annoying, I remember back in my single and lonely times where I would complain that I'm tired of being alone.

[TurdBerglar]

tell her to go fuck herself

[ericlee]

tell her to go fuck herself

haha. Oh man. I brought out the real Turd.

I don't think she'll have to do that to herself. You don't know what kind of feelings I'm having while smelling that rose cream on my hands.

Hmm, wait a minute, I'm on the net with full access to innarweb pr0n.. I think I'm gonna have a sixsome.

BRB

[ericlee]

I think I want to find some kind of man bath. Maybe I could find a Copenhagen, Budweiser and Cohiba bath and ask her to scrub my ass or something. It's all about being mutual. (y)

[jabumbo]

chocolate sauce, bro

[na§tee]

why don't you just get in the bath with her?

[ms.peachy]

I'm not clear on how her asking you to get her a drink when you are already up and about constitutes a sacrifice on your part.

[kaiser soze]

Asian women are so high maintenance

dump her :)

[ericlee]

I'm not clear on how her asking you to get her a drink when you are already up and about constitutes a sacrifice on your part.

I'll be in the middle of movie and I want to finish my business quickly and get back to it. I'm not lying either, almost everytime I get up, I'll be asked to do something.

Nastee- I'm not too fond of taking baths, especially rose ones.


I hope no one takes this as a gripe thread, it's actually a 'cute' thread. We have been doing pretty good lately.

[Adam]

I know what you mean, and while she doesn't complain about the domestic violence then these little things are ok to deal with (y)

[ms.peachy]

I'll be in the middle of movie and I want to finish my business quickly and get back to it. I'm not lying either, almost everytime I get up, I'll be asked to do something.

Fair enough.

I hope no one takes this as a gripe thread, it's actually a 'cute' thread. We have been doing pretty good lately.

Glad to hear it, I know you guys have had to work through a lot of stuff. What's the situation with her parents currently?

[Planetary]

What's the situation with her parents currently?

it's mind your own business

[Dorothy Wood]

oof, my mom is the kind of lady who will call on other people to get her things constantly. I hate it! always with the "could you get me a glass of water?" when I'm watching something on t.v. and she's just reading a magazine or something. I hope I'm never like that. I ask for water when dude's in the kitchen, but he usually will offer anyway.

As for serving and sacrificing, we do a lot of arm and hand massaging to each other because we both have stupid chronic tendon pain. his is worse so sometimes I have to do him longer (that's what she said). it's cute because we understand each other's pain and can complain about it without making the other person bored or annoyed. I'll be like, "ouchie, my shoulder hurts" and he'll try to fix it for me. :)

[jackrock]

My pregnant cousin asks for a glass of water that is literally a hands length away.

[Adam]

^fat women huh?

[ms.peachy]

it's mind your own business

Well, as ericlee has posted here on more than one occasion to vent about his in-laws, I didn't think it was an unfair question. If he's not comfortable discussing it at this time, I'm sure he is capable of telling me that himself. I mean I've posted stuff here about my situation with my nephew; if someone was curious enough to ask how that whole palaver was playing out, I wouldn't be offended, even if I didn't necessarily feel like writing about it in the moment.

[Planetary]

Well, as ericlee has posted here on more than one occasion to vent about his in-laws, I didn't think it was an unfair question. If he's not comfortable discussing it at this time, I'm sure he is capable of telling me that himself. I mean I've posted stuff here about my situation with my nephew; if someone was curious enough to ask how that whole palaver was playing out, I wouldn't be offended, even if I didn't necessarily feel like writing about it in the moment.

:)(y)

[MC Moot]

oh man!...eric do I hear you!...tell you what,bro...you relax,take it easy,kick up your socks...and I'll help her out with all that naked scrubbiness...I'm good like that...hell,here's a 20 spot go grab ya self some imported sudz....you the man!...take your time,don't rush,I got your back...;)

[hpdrifter]

I can kinda understand this, my mom does this kind of stuff. When I visit she'll call me from the living room to come hand her her towel when she gets out of the shower. The towel is sitting on the sink directly across from the open shower door. I'm like, what do you do when I'm not around? I'm sure you manage to get your towel somehow.

Also, I missed the whole nephew thing. What's going on there?

[b i o n i c]

these are "extras" you're giving her.

the real question is what "extras" do you get in return. if she shaves your back for ya just as often, or somethin like that, then youve got yourself an even exchange

[MC Moot]

Extras?...no,no,no…this is standard fare,this is taking care of business and minding your woman… unless it’s forever unreciprocated and if that’s the case I would have never extended indulgence…

[jabumbo]

As for serving and sacrificing, we do a lot of arm and hand massaging to each other because we both have stupid chronic tendon pain. his is worse so sometimes I have to do him longer (that's what she said). it's cute because we understand each other's pain and can complain about it without making the other person bored or annoyed. I'll be like, "ouchie, my shoulder hurts" and he'll try to fix it for me. :)


for a while i knew a gal who had an identical shoulder injury as myself. we would often give each other massages to help ease the tension.

i would always try to do hers first though, cause i knew that i didn't want to have to use my shoulders after getting them rubbed down :rolleyes:

[ericlee]

Well, as ericlee has posted here on more than one occasion to vent about his in-laws, I didn't think it was an unfair question. If he's not comfortable discussing it at this time, I'm sure he is capable of telling me that himself. I mean I've posted stuff here about my situation with my nephew; if someone was curious enough to ask how that whole palaver was playing out, I wouldn't be offended, even if I didn't necessarily feel like writing about it in the moment.


I don't mind you asking because as you mentioned, I have done my share of gripe threads over that.

They're in NY but they have their own place and I see them about once every 2 months.

[Dorothy Wood]

for a while i knew a gal who had an identical shoulder injury as myself. we would often give each other massages to help ease the tension.

i would always try to do hers first though, cause i knew that i didn't want to have to use my shoulders after getting them rubbed down :rolleyes:

ohh, you stinker!

[MC Moot]

I'll be like, "ouchie, my shoulder hurts" and he'll try to fix it for me. :)

I don’t know who the hell you are…but you better return Dorothy Wood to the board pronto…

[Adam]

I don’t know who the hell you are…but you better return Dorothy Wood to the board pronto…

ha! (y)

This one girl, I used to give massages to used to just fall asleep all the time while I was doing them (in a very relaxed way, not a bored way - I hope). She had a tough job though and came back always hurting, but when I got them in return, DAMN they was good and I always got extras with very happy endings so although the return could take a few days it was very worth it. I love giving them anyway and the return ones loosened me up sooo good for the next day.

edit: tiger balm ftw

[Dorothy Wood]

I don’t know who the hell you are…but you better return Dorothy Wood to the board pronto…


wha?

[MC Moot]

^Don’t play daft with me!...where’s the Dorothy Wood,with the cutting edge, we’ve all become accustomed to and grown wearily fond of?...you know the one critical of how others eat ice cream in her vicinity!...this mellow, walking on sunshine persona is surely not one of loves many splendored benefits…or is it?

[Nuzzolese]

I do so much servant crap for my boyfriend.

Whenever we eat, I fix his plate for him. If we're both sitting down and he wants seconds, I go get it for him, or heat up his plate, or I pour him more beverage. I go check the mail if he's already comfy. He's always got to be the first one to take the shower and the first one to get into bed (so that I'm the one who has to turn off all the lights and the TV, close the blinds, set the alarm, etc.)

Then there's other stuff that he will not do for himself, so if I don't do it it won't get done. I'm not sure if that counts as being his servant, since he's not asking me to do it. But to me, leaving it undone is unacceptable. This means I do the dishes, fold and put away his clothes, throw his dirty clothes from the floor into the hamper, put away stuff he left out in the kitchen, and clean the bathroom and hang the wet towels properly so they dry out not remain bunched up all day. I do it for myself and for him.

He says he does his part by doing the difficult stuff like snaking a drain or fixing a leaky faucet. But that stuff only needs to be done once in a while. I do this stuff every day.

[MC Moot]

There are some things I feel I need to do for her, for my piece of mind only…like all the car stuff…I made the appointment to have her winter tires put on and then I filled up the antifreeze and windshield fluid reservoirs, made sure there’s a working flashlight, extra jacket,gloves,toque,blanket,road flares…and when the real cold and snow comes I go and start the car and clear all the snow from it,every morning…she is highly capable and easily as mechanically inclined as I am…it’s just that by doing these things I feel more secure about her safety…

[Dorothy Wood]

^Don’t play daft with me!...where’s the Dorothy Wood,with the cutting edge, we’ve all become accustomed to and grown wearily fond of?...you know the one critical of how others eat ice cream in her vicinity!...this mellow, walking on sunshine persona is surely not one of loves many splendored benefits…or is it?

ah, well, I'm still a crabby jerk, don't you worry! I told a whole room of people that they sucked, just last monday. my boyfriend is one of the least annoying people I know though, so perhaps that explains my sunshine. he eats silently and with his mouth closed. saturday morning he ate two churros next to me and I barely even noticed until he crumpled up the bag. he doesn't slurp and he doesn't snore. he holds doors and makes decisions quickly.

I do so much servant crap for my boyfriend.

Whenever we eat, I fix his plate for him. If we're both sitting down and he wants seconds, I go get it for him, or heat up his plate, or I pour him more beverage. I go check the mail if he's already comfy. He's always got to be the first one to take the shower and the first one to get into bed (so that I'm the one who has to turn off all the lights and the TV, close the blinds, set the alarm, etc.)

Then there's other stuff that he will not do for himself, so if I don't do it it won't get done. I'm not sure if that counts as being his servant, since he's not asking me to do it. But to me, leaving it undone is unacceptable. This means I do the dishes, fold and put away his clothes, throw his dirty clothes from the floor into the hamper, put away stuff he left out in the kitchen, and clean the bathroom and hang the wet towels properly so they dry out not remain bunched up all day. I do it for myself and for him.

He says he does his part by doing the difficult stuff like snaking a drain or fixing a leaky faucet. But that stuff only needs to be done once in a while. I do this stuff every day.

I find this to be outrageous and unacceptable. but I know it happens every day. my friends who've been living together for like 7 years were having some domestic issues and they went to therapy and the girl complained that the boy never cleaned the bathroom, and he basically admitted that he just didn't think about it or think it was important. so now he cleans the bathroom. I think, or at least sometimes. they're a lot happier-seeming now, so something happened.

[Nuzzolese]

For a while I decided to just not do some of that stuff. I thought that maybe if he realized it wasn't getting done, he'd do it himself. So I left his wet towel all bunched up on the rack where I knew it wouldn't dry. The sneak simply used my towel instead, and then left it on the bed after his shower. I totally got served on that one.

[Dorothy Wood]

no! what a turd!

I suppose if you don't mind it's fine, but if it's upsetting to you I feel like you should have a talk. or go to therapy. I'm really recommending couples therapy these days, it's helped a couple of couples I know quite a bit.

it's funny, my 7th grade history teacher gave me the best life advice I've ever heard and it still stays with me. Once he said that when you're in a relationship, you need to forget about trying to make things 50/50, you need to focus on giving 100%. so both people are giving 100%. It seemed like an awful lot of work to me when I was 12 years old, but it makes more sense now and seems like a lovely idea.

but ya know, that guy wore a toupee and thought that wearing jeans was offensive. so who's to say what's right?

[Nuzzolese]

When I complain, he tells me I don't have to do those things, and that I should just calm down and not freak out over cleaning stuff. You can only remind someone to do something so many times before you start to sound like their mom.

[Adam]

Nuzz, I bet you the Vulkan guy has a place for everything, neatly folded in colour coded order and wouldn't dare use hand towels for anything other than hands ;)

Was it wrong of me to bring him up?

[Nuzzolese]

Nuzz, I bet you the Vulkan guy has a place for everything, neatly folded in colour coded order and wouldn't dare use hand towels for anything other than hands ;)

Was it wrong of me to bring him up?

I bet the Vulkan would insist on separate bedrooms.

[b i o n i c]

i was you in a relationship once, nuzz.. kinda. some people are just pigs and will always be(n)

[ericlee]

these are "extras" you're giving her.

the real question is what "extras" do you get in return. if she shaves your back for ya just as often, or somethin like that, then youve got yourself an even exchange

There's really nothing I get in return. With the whole back scrub and lotion thing, well, of course it had some kind of reward after.

I just don't ask for anything and I'm a non-demanding and low maintenance person.

I suppose if I could actully grow hair on my back or something, then I could ask her to help.