Attn: Helvete

[Lex Diamonds]

I was just wondering what drives someone like you, a reasonably intelligent not too unattractive young man to join the British Army (that is what you're in right?), a notoriously misguided and regularly unneccesarily endangered fighting force?

Is it boredom? Do you just want to kill people? I'm genuinely interested.

[Adam]

Be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi (I think he fought for the Indian army or some shit).

[camo]

Maybe he got shit GCSE's?

[Helvete]

Firstly, yes, it was boredom that drove me to join the British Army. I had a fairly comfortable, easy and well paid job in London yet I soon tired of working within the same 4 walls. I wanted the apparent excitement that I thought the military would offer. My close proximity at work to many ex and currently serving forces members also inspired me into thinking it was what I needed in my life.

Nothing to do with killing people or changing the world, purely selfish reasons motivated me, in the sense that I wasn't doing it for anyone else.

My GCSEs whilst not particularly bad, were far less than I could have achieved. I was pretty turned off with the whole further education idea (much to my regret now) so that limited my choices. But now I've been very fortunate to have been given the chance within the military to further myself and actually do a job which will not only take me far within the forces, but also when I leave and get a job as a civilian.

My new job is fairly 'safe' compared to the infantry and armoured units whilst still having some very exciting elements in it. Not to mention I'm now actually going to get the chance to prove myself intellectually where as I had not before.

That's pretty much my story! Please ask anything else you wish.

[paul jones]

I must say that I'd like to be like Rambo sometimes as when I watch the films he seems to have a more interesting job than most of us(y)

[TAL]

Rambo wasn't in the British Army though.

[camo]

I just know that so many of my old school mates who didn't go into further education due to poor GCSE results found life tough and the only viable option they had to make something of themselves was in the armed forces.


You do seem pretty smart though Helvete, although not as much as you seem to be a smug fucker though :D

Have you seen any action?

[paul jones]

Rambo wasn't in the British Army though.

yeah I know but I'm sure any army would love to have Rambo on their side.

[ericlee]

His future is now more secure. He's in front of the line when it comes to finding a career complete with retirement and full benefits.

[Helvete]

I just know that so many of my old school mates who didn't go into further education due to poor GCSE results found life tough and the only viable option they had to make something of themselves was in the armed forces.


You do seem pretty smart though Helvete, although not as much as you seem to be a smug fucker though :D

Have you seen any action?

I have many criticisms of the British Army, but I must say that it really does give people the chance even if they perhaps messed up earlier on. I feel that the opportunity I have been given is going to enable me to 'be the best' without sounding too much like a recruiting advert. (I wouldn't recommend anyone join!)

Yeah I know I am a smug bastard, I never used to be but when every report written about you comments on your intelligence, every officer and senior rank wonders why you joined a combat unit instead of something 'better', all the assessments and IQ tests you have had have very high results and the god damned Intelligence Corps bite your arm off to join them, I can't help but think I'm the mutherfucker. Just capitalising on what I've got, that's all!

No action for me though, our unit was fortunate enough to come home from Iraq and Afghanistan without any casualties and Iraq was pretty relaxed when I was there.

[paul jones]

The army should do a draft of all those bebo wannabee gangstas showing of their guns.They would probaly shit themselves in delight at the thought of being sent to Afghanistan(y)

[Adam]

The army should do a draft of all those bebo wannabee gangstas showing of their guns.They would probaly shit themselves in delight at the thought of being sent to Afghanistan(y)

I don't think padster wants to be in the army...

do you?

[ericlee]

It is in fact the little bad ass wannabes that rap about guns and how gangsta they are that end up snapping or try to go AWOL once shit gets thick.

[paul jones]

I don't think padster wants to be in the army...

do you?

no way jose.I'd soil myself

[Documad]

I don't know if it's the army or something else, but it seems like he's really got his shit together. That's something to be proud of, whatever the reason.

[b i o n i c]

i always thought helvete was german

[Helvete]

i always thought helvete was german

No, I am just stationed there and have been for a couple of years now.

I don't know if it's the army or something else, but it seems like he's really got his shit together. That's something to be proud of, whatever the reason.

Thank you, I really feel I have also. I do believe it has been the Army (and partly just getting older and more mature).

[checkyourprez]

this threads not about helvete.


its about padster, thinking about joining the army. wugwon.

[Adam]

he's really got his shit together

But he hasn't addressed the fact yet that padster was coming on to him (maybe some issues there)?

I ... like you, a reasonably intelligent not too unattractive young man

I'm genuinely interested.

[b i o n i c]

i'll just ask for padster.. do you still get to you smoke tons of danky dro and tap hundreds of dope college chicks while in the army?

[trailerprincess]

i always thought helvete was german

I thought Dutch. Lord only knows why.

[miss soul fire]

So, if he was unattractive, it would be okay!:D
Why not die because of your looks?!

[Helvete]

I'm too good looking to die.

[Lex Diamonds]

The reason I said that is because the thing stopping me from doing a combat related job (boxing, soldier, police etc) is that I am too damn good looking. Don't get me wrong, I can fuck people up left right and centre, but I don't want to ruin this hotness. It's like a work of art.

Anyway H, thanks for the honest and informative reply and I apologise for the replies from haters that seem to follow me around on here. If you don't mind me asking, what is it they promoted you to? Are you at a point now where all the kids who did well in their A Levels and went straight to officer training would have ended up?

I'm not thinking about joining, by the way. I did at one point a couple years ago but I just have too much of a problem with our government at the moment. I'm just genuinely interested, and it's cool to "know" someone that's doing it all.

[Helvete]

Well I'm moving back to the UK soon for this new job, once I complete the training I'll get a promotion and a substantial increase in pay. After that promotion can be very quick and I can be a Sergeant on £32,000+ in maybe 5 years. Not too bad for someone with zero higher education.

It was mentioned to us that maybe 20% of the corps I am joining have a degree at my level and many other educational achievements. I have the very minimum you need to be accepted, but luckily my previous service has counted greatly towards their acceptance of me.

Graduate officers earn more than I do at the moment, but you've got to consider any student debt they may have incurred and also they have to purchase their own mess kit and many other expensive items for their service. I'm literally debt free and have some healthy savings already.

[Kid Presentable]

You've done well. It's tipped your confidence a little over the cocky scale, but yeah, good on you. I couldn't and wouldn't do it, and people like you keep conscription at bay. That's only the start of the heroism. I did think about it once.

[Nuzzolese]

Do you ever encounter anyone treating you with some kind of judgment or contempt for being in the army? I guess it would be a better question to ask you when you're back in the UK amongst your fellow countryment. I just know that US military people sometimes get confronted with what they do because people are so passionately opposed to US armed conflicts in foreign countries. Not like the individual soldiers are the ones making the decisions but people still hold them accountable for involving themselves in it all. So sometimes there's the stereotype that they're mindless robotic killing machines or just too stupid to make their own decisions so they need a commanding officer. I mean, most people are too stupid to make their own decisions they just let Oprah tell them what to do.

Also, what is the atmosphere like within the army as it relates to the other branches, like the Navy? Do you make jokes at each others' expense? Is there rivalry? Is there some kind of unspoken taboo over Navy and Army people getting married?

[Helvete]

I've never met anyone personally who has confronted me about being in the military. We've had protesters whilst on parades for example, but no-one has had a go at me. Soldiers have a bad name in certain towns around military bases for causing trouble while drinking, so I try to avoid being identified as one. I've had nothing but support and thanks when people do know I am a soldier though, just don't try to get in a club with any Army friends!

Between each of the services within the military there is rivalry, but it's never really serious. The Army makes jokes that the Air Force are really civilians in a uniform and that the Navy is full of homosexuals, and I am sure they have something to say about us, but it rarely ever comes to physical trouble or anything more than verbal. Some of it is also jealousy because they have more relaxed rules with regards to uniform and shorter operational tours and as the Army we don't like that so feel they are not as good as us.

There is no problems with relationships across the services, (unless it was between a male Paratrooper and male Marine, that'd be the source of endless jokes) but due to the time away from home and the difficulty in maintaining a relationship because of this I don't think it's awfully common.

[Nuzzolese]

How does it make you feel when you see army recruitment advertisements?

[Helvete]

That they will entice a lot of people into joining who don't really know what they are letting themselves in for. There is so much to the Army that you'll never know about until you join, and it's a shock to all the new guys fresh out of training when they see what it's like.

[Nuzzolese]

There is so much to the Army that you'll never know about until you join.

Like what kind of stuff?

[Helvete]

Just how shit it is and that it's not all excitement and action. You don't realise how much hard work is involved in making a tank run for example, yet all you see in recruitment videos is the tanks blowing things up, smashing through things and generally looking amazing. They're not.

And that's before you even go to a sandy place! Then the 'fun' really starts, especially if you are in a frontline combat unit, lots of young guys, only 18 years old fresh from training getting killed out in Afghanistan. Despite the seemingly endless reports about deaths and casualities in Afghanistan more young people are signing up to join.

I/we have been lucky so far as regards to my unit, but when they are all away in Afghanistan in 2011, I fear that some of the men I currently serve with won't ever come home. I haven't had to deal with the loss of friends yet, I wish I never will have to.

[Guy Incognito]

i have a question for you helvete:

do you know how the people in the military bands are regarded? Do they get ridiculed or treated well, does it strike you as being a good thing?

I only ask cos about 20 years ago i was pretty awesome at playing the trumpet and looked into going into playing for an army band. i would have had to audition but had to take the army entrance test first.

long story short is i did really well on the test and the guy at the recruitment office nearly came in his pants and told me i go for loads of different jobs. not sure if he got better commission or summat but he wasnt interested in getting me sorted with an audition and he just wanted me to go in the army in a good position so i declined.

i dont really regret it, but i often wonder what my life would have been like.

[ericlee]

When I went through basic, everyone was treated equally as a piece of maggot turd by the drill instructors, regardless of your MOS.

But between all of us soldiers, of course we would make our fun of the band guys but it was just playful fun.

We only had one guy that was in the band and he was a piano player but he played trombone for the band.

He has earned the nickname "Niggerace" because of his piano playing and he was a black guy. He used to fucking die laughing when we called him that.

[checkyourprez]

When I went through basic, everyone was treated equally as a piece of maggot turd by the drill instructors, regardless of your MOS.

But between all of us soldiers, of course we would make our fun of the band guys but it was just playful fun.

We only had one guy that was in the band and he was a piano player but he played trombone for the band.

He has earned the nickname "Niggerace" because of his piano playing and he was a black guy. He used to fucking die laughing when we called him that.

ha wtf

[Helvete]

One of the 'bandies' I went through basic training with was one of the best soldiers in the platoon. The other was a complete retard, but the way they are treated was down to them and not so much their job. Sure, we used to take the piss out of the band guys and the nurses, but we all did the same training so we were all the same in the end.

I also know quite a few guys in our regimental band "The Pipes and Drums of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards" you maybe have heard of them, they're pretty famous in the classical genre. They seemed to have quite a good life, they travel A LOT and have been all of the States and are off to Australia soon.

[miss soul fire]

I'm too good looking to die.

And yet, you will die, eventually.:eek:

[Documad]

You've done well. It's tipped your confidence a little over the cocky scale, but yeah, good on you. I couldn't and wouldn't do it, and people like you keep conscription at bay. That's only the start of the heroism. I did think about it once.

Being a bit cocky about being smart and hard working and having accomplished things is fine with me. I don't think you get anywhere being overly modest. It's different than bragging about being "the shit" or some such nonsense when you've never actually accomplished anything. (that last bit was not directed at you, btw. ;))

[Kid Presentable]

It could have been.

[checkyourprez]

Being a bit cocky about being smart and hard working and having accomplished things is fine with me. I don't think you get anywhere being overly modest. It's different than bragging about being "the shit" or some such nonsense when you've never actually accomplished anything. (that last bit was not directed at you, btw. ;))


jesus man, get a couple hoes preggers and have them have bortions or dont talk about it at all you know what im saying kiiid

[Adam]

And yet, you will die, eventually.:eek:

You are obviously unaware of the new breed of human who are so damn good looking, charming and tough that they'll live forever.

Us 'haters' (as opposed to 'lovers' one assumes) are too ugly to live and far too much of a pussy to 'fuck any1 up'. Because that is what the army is all about, right?

Sorry, Padster - I know you think we follow you around on this board but (for me anyway) we never leave, just happen to share a space sometimes. Don't flatter yourself too much ;)

And just to set the record straight, with my Gandhi comment, which is now my signature, I wasn't having a go at you Helvete, I mean no offense - I don't get the army or its appeal but I was just trying to say to each their own (cus I know I've made comments about it before to you). Other than that its all joking around - and the fact you have your life together is an honorable thing (y) I don't know many people under 30 who have that, we just have keep fighting those personal demons I suppose :)

[Helvete]

Well I was joking about the dying thing, I think I'm fairly ugly by the way. And when I get old, I'll be even uglier so it'll be okay for me to die then. If I make to old! I'm not overtly cocky in person anyway, confident yes, but not big-headed.

And like I say, joining the Army was for selfish reasons, I'm not naïve enough to think I can change the world or do some good in my job. I joined to make some good friends, do some interesting things, earn some good money and set myself up with a great job when I leave the Army.

Not much left to do apart from the whole wife and kids thing! Don't worry, that comes next year.

[miss soul fire]

And you didn't know I was also joking...:p

[Guy Incognito]

One of the 'bandies' I went through basic training with was one of the best soldiers in the platoon. The other was a complete retard, but the way they are treated was down to them and not so much their job. Sure, we used to take the piss out of the band guys and the nurses, but we all did the same training so we were all the same in the end.

I also know quite a few guys in our regimental band "The Pipes and Drums of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards" you maybe have heard of them, they're pretty famous in the classical genre. They seemed to have quite a good life, they travel A LOT and have been all of the States and are off to Australia soon.

(y) It was the travelling aspect i was really into, that and becoming a better musician and basic training. I knew that would be hard but was up for it but just didnt have a good recruiting experience. a lot of my teachers and peers were dead against the idea of me going as well, they obviously thought i wasnt up to it, they were probably right, probably wouldnt have lasted five minutes.