your high school teachers and nicknames they carried

[ericlee]

I had an english teacher and we couldn't find anything that rhymed with Leudke that matched her personality so we just called her Hag. She was like 90 years old and she would fart and pick her nose involuntarily. She once sat on my desk and picked her nose, rolled it up and ate it and farted. I stood up and gagged and got a detention because I disrupted her from teaching.

Mrs. Rusnicovich. Go figure, her nickname was the Russian Cow Bitch. She had to walk sideways through doorways. Her top half was fairly normal but right at her hips, they were nearly 4 feet wide with thunderous thighs.

Miss Rastle, another English teacher. We just called her Cattle because she said she was reincarnated from a cow.

Miss Frank, study hall teacher. We called her Sherman Tank because she was built like one. She rode motorcycles and unfortunately, she died in a motorcycle accident. (r.i.p.)

Mr. Spicer was my design drafting teacher. His nic was Waldo because he looked just like him but you never had problems finding him because he was hovering over your shoulder looking at your progress on the computer.

[paul jones]

Miss Tinsley - Miss Titchy,as she was tiny
Mr Rowbottom - Rowbum
Mr Nicholls - Skippy,as he had one leg longer than the other
Mr Tuby - Mr Pooby


there's some others I can't think of right now but one Maths teacher had tits the size of Yul Brynner's head

[yeahwho]

Squeaky the wood shop teacher, he had the unfortunate vocal cords that went off range whenever he got mad, causing him to squeak and us to laugh.

[Dorothy Wood]

Earth Science, Mr. Hinchman: Hinchy

Lunch monitor lady (not sure if that counts): Fatty Boombalatti :( she was fat, and Italian :(


hmm, I think that's it.

a friend of mine called our band director: Mr. Holtfucker. His name was Mr. Holtfreter. He was a dick, but a damn fine director in my opinion. He was nice to me though, because I ruled at clarinet. He yelled at me for being late to a concert once though, but I deserved it....I think I may have been strangely attracted to him, come to think of it. He was pretty ugly, but forthright and had good posture. Nice full head of dark hair, a beard that'd gone mostly gray by senior year. mmmmmm...holtfucker.

actually, that friend is the same person who came up with Fatty Boombalatti...AND Hinchy! weird. she also used to call Taco Bell, "Toxic Hell". even though we totally ate there all the time, and it was mostly always her idea.

oh, those were the days, 18 years old, hanging out in a parking lot at 4 a.m. outside of Meijer, pounding mountain dew and chicken soft tacos while listening to the beastie boys. that was the life! okayyyy, maybe not.

[jabumbo]

man, i wish i would have lived more in the 80's!

[b i o n i c]

we had this guy who looked like bronson pinchot with bushy eye brows who we called raul. i have no idea why that stuck but it was hillarious as shit. someones band made a song about raul which we played at a school thing and raul probably didnt think the song was about him. he was kind of the opposite of so vain

[MC Moot]

I have mentally self-lobotomized the majority of my high school experience…including the names of teachers…plus I was high most of the time so that don’t help…however,with crystal clarity,I do remember MR KENNEDY…he was “The Mick”…one tough,hard and totally fair sunuvabitch…

[Waus]

We had a science teacher named Jaworski who even called himself "Jaws." He used to always talk about a kid he knew in highschool who smoked banana peels - which he pointed out as stupid.

Also there was a student band director named Mr. Very who unfortunately had a speech impediment. It's not surprising we all called him "Mistew Vewwy."

One of our favorite teachers was Mr. Martello, who taught "intro to media literacy" which was about the coolest class the school offered. He moved from another school where he told us they all called him "Mart-dawg" and we just kept that nickname.

[trailerprincess]

We had a maths teacher called Mr Backholer. Really, there was no need to try to make up a nickname for that one.

Ultracamp drama teacher called Mr Sayer aka Mr Gayer

[Schmeltz]

Mr. Packham = Fudge, as in Fudge Packham

Mr. Denaski = Mr. Dumbasski

[ms.peachy]

My German teacher, Herr Westcott. Known to all as Her WetCock.