WHEN FACEBOOK ATTACKS

[DipDipDive]

Fuck these privacy setting updates and their inability to keep my boyfriend's ex's information inaccessible to me.

I've spent the last half hour angrily looking at pictures of her kissing my man, obsessively analyzing her stupid face and trying to decide if I'm better than her, just like a typical fucking psycho, jealous chick.

It's times like these I really hate the internet. It makes people who I otherwise wouldn't even think about real to me and I don't like it.

I don't even know what I'm so upset about. But I am. Fuck. :mad:

[YoungRemy]

facebook.

it's what people revolve their lives around.

[DipDipDive]

How insightful.

[b i o n i c]

facebook... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPw-3e_pzqU)

[Echewta]

Sadly, its lessons like this that make you think twice the next time you google search, facebook search, read diary, open their phone etc...

He didnt know you then and chooses you now. Thats whats important.

[Documad]

She posts photos of her with her ex boyfriend? WTF do her real friends think? Is her account dormant? Did she post them a year ago and then logoff so she forgot they are there?

And how did you end up looking at her page or whatever it's called?

[YoungRemy]

How insightful.

I'm glad you got it off your chest. it brings out the worst in us all, sadly.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

He didnt know you then and chooses you now. Thats whats important.

this.

also, the girl needs to get over it and get rid of those pictures. they aren't together. that's very weird, unless she rarely uses facebook and hasn't logged in since they broke up or something.

[Echewta]

You could always call him to feel better. You can spill the beans about what you did or just talk to him and say whatever mushy crap you people in love talk about. Replace the negative with the postive.

The take a pretzel out of the freezer, toast it, and eat that shit.

[Documad]

Yes, she gets a pass if she's been in a coma for 6 months.

[paul jones]

facebook is dead slow right now.Maybe it's about to explode or something

[Dorothy Wood]

I see this happening a lot with girls, the keeping of boyfriend/girlfriend kissy photos on their facebooks.

when my male BFF started dating a friend of mine, I told him he needed to untag himself from the billion pictures his ex had up. he finally did, because it was just weird, man. and I just snooped a little on his ex and she stilllll has the pictures up. as well as photos of her and other dudes she's dated since. wtf?

and that young dude I dated in the summer was tagged in a bunch of photos with his ex, which was pretty off-putting. I just checked, and the pics are still there. looked at the girl's photos too, and she's got pictures of her and other dudes up too.

maybe people just keep that stuff as a record of their lives?

seems weird, get rid of that shit, crazy bitches! and dudes, untag yourself! geez.


reason #1,678 I'm glad my gentleman friend isn't on facebook.

[sjp]

I see this happening a lot with girls, the keeping of boyfriend/girlfriend kissy photos on their facebooks.

when my male BFF started dating a friend of mine, I told him he needed to untag himself from the billion pictures his ex had up. he finally did, because it was just weird, man. and I just snooped a little on his ex and she stilllll has the pictures up. as well as photos of her and other dudes she's dated since. wtf?

and that young dude I dated in the summer was tagged in a bunch of photos with his ex, which was pretty off-putting. I just checked, and the pics are still there. looked at the girl's photos too, and she's got pictures of her and other dudes up too.

maybe people just keep that stuff as a record of their lives?

seems weird, get rid of that shit, crazy bitches! and dudes, untag yourself! geez.


reason #1,678 I'm glad my gentleman friend isn't on facebook.

it happens with guys too i've noticed the girl i'm dating her ex has pics of the and tries to add me and he threaten me outside a bar when i was with her and my buddies on saturday so i knocked him out don't think he will be doing much.

[Dorothy Wood]

it happens with guys too i've noticed the girl i'm dating her ex has pics of the and tries to add me and he threaten me outside a bar when i was with her and my buddies on saturday so i knocked him out don't think he will be doing much.

yuck. drama rama.

I noticed my BFF's ex just dyed her hair blonde, and he's currently dating a blonde....coincidence?! well, probably. OR NOT! but, yeah, probably a coincidence.

okeee, now I'm gonna stop facebook stalking people that have nothing to do with my life. :p

[Helvete]

I think it is pretty weird keeping pictures of ex's up on facebook, but like chewie says, he's with you now, you shouldn't worry. You could also post her pictures so we can be the judge of who is better.

[Funky Pepp]

I'm not so sure if it's so weird to keep photos of you and your ex. After all this relationship has been a part of life. And anyway - if you'd delete them from your own page, it will be around somewhere. That's why you should be careful about what photos you put on the internet in the first place.

Okay, and I have no such pic on my account (partly because my husband and me are married since 1996 and started going out in 1992 when no facebook or anything similar was available)! Just to put that clear :D

[NicRN77]

I'm so happy Facebook wasn't around when I was in my teens/early 20s.

[ms.peachy]

I'm not so sure if it's so weird to keep photos of you and your ex. After all this relationship has been a part of life.

Yeah I don't really get the whole "OMG he/she still has photos of them together, that is SO WRONG" thing. Unless the relationship and subsequent breakup was just so so awful you feel like you must purge every scrap of evidence of this person from your life forever, why wouldn't keep old pictures up? They are part of your life, things that happened, places you went, stuff you did, etc etc. What's the big deal?

And honestly, if I was dating someone who was working themselves into a lather over the fact that my ex had photos of me on their page and was obsessing over looking at them... I'd be thinking that maybe this person is not someone I can continue to be with.

[skra75]

every single day I think about deleting my facebook account. facebook is annoying like all social networking sites. 5 years from now we will all be laughing at ourselves. it creates needless drama and fosters egotistic attitudes.

The only reason I'm on there is bc my wife wanted to "friend" me. it's retarded and kinda useless.

[cosmo105]

There are pictures of my boyfriend and his ex. Not on his page, but he's tagged in them. Only a handful, though. There are many more of us together. :) And it doesn't really bother me. Their relationship was very different than ours, and most importantly, over before ours began. I don't really have many pictures up with exes but that's because I was a relatively later FB adopter.

[Dorothy Wood]

for those who think it's totally normal: would you think it was alright for someone to keep photos with an ex out on his or her mantle, or an album of photos of a vacation with an ex on his or her coffee table?

in my opinion, that's what it's akin to.

have a private folder filled with all kinds of couple photos if you want...but I see no reason for displaying them on the internet to all mankind. I have some photobooth photos of me and other boyfriends, they're in my jewelry drawer...not on the internet.


everyone has a past, it's just now we have the means to peek at a visual record of it with just a few clicks. personally, I find it strange and unnecessary, and disrespectful. it doesn't feel good to see someone you love in the arms of another person, I don't care how secure you are.

[DipDipDive]

for those who think it's totally normal: would you think it was alright for someone to keep photos with an ex out on his or her mantle, or an album of photos of a vacation with an ex on his or her coffee table?

in my opinion, that's what it's akin to.

have a private folder filled with all kinds of couple photos if you want...but I see no reason for displaying them on the internet to all mankind. I have some photobooth photos of me and other boyfriends, they're in my jewelry drawer...not on the internet.


everyone has a past, it's just now we have the means to peek at a visual record of it with just a few clicks. personally, I find it strange and unnecessary, and disrespectful. it doesn't feel good to see someone you love in the arms of another person, I don't care how secure you are.

Thank you.

I'm not "working myself into a lather," I would just rather not see another woman kissing my boyfriend. I don't care that those images are from the past. When they're in my face, the context is very present.

[LongDuckDong]

Thank you.

I'm not "working myself into a lather," I would just rather not see another woman kissing my boyfriend. I don't care that those images are from the past. When they're in my face, the context is very present.

Imagine the pictures she has that are to dirty for Facebook.

[b i o n i c]

in a way things like this are good. the combination of the urge to look and SEEING something like that laid out for you i think forces you to think and maybe where you left the door open a crack, makes you slam it shut?

[Funky Pepp]

for those who think it's totally normal: would you think it was alright for someone to keep photos with an ex out on his or her mantle, or an album of photos of a vacation with an ex on his or her coffee table?

in my opinion, that's what it's akin to.

have a private folder filled with all kinds of couple photos if you want...but I see no reason for displaying them on the internet to all mankind. I have some photobooth photos of me and other boyfriends, they're in my jewelry drawer...not on the internet.


everyone has a past, it's just now we have the means to peek at a visual record of it with just a few clicks. personally, I find it strange and unnecessary, and disrespectful. it doesn't feel good to see someone you love in the arms of another person, I don't care how secure you are.

I see what you mean. But for many people facebook is like a photoalbum with all kinds of photos of the past. And I just think this may be a part of it. Of course if there are only those pics of the friend and the ex it is kind of disturbing.

I am a very jealous person too - so I see why it can be annoying. I just wanted to point out that it might not be an obsession of that girl but it might just be a part of her life which she had liked and don't want to forget about or deny.

[hpdrifter]

I agree, I have lots of pictures of me with other boyfriends but I keep them on a flash drive. The really old ones are in a box in the garage with the beads I won in 7th grade camp and the uniform from my first job. You don't have to purge everything but it's not like I bust that shit out on a semi-regular basis either.

I guess I feel like facebook is for the here and now. It's so that people can see what you're up to currently. I think if I found out that an ex of mine had a bunch of pictures of us up on his facebook I'd be weirded out, especially if they were intimate pictures of us kissing in a romantic moment or something.

[b i o n i c]

I see what you mean. But for many people facebook is like a photoalbum with all kinds of photos of the past. And I just think this may be a part of it. Of course if there are only those pics of the friend and the ex it is kind of disturbing.

I am a very jealous person too - so I see why it can be annoying. I just wanted to point out that it might not be an obsession of that girl but it might just be a part of her life which she had liked and don't want to forget about or deny.

part of what makes photo albums good is that they're YOURS. you go to someone's house who you've known for a while, getting to actually look at a family album is actually a privilege. putting it all out there makes it a little less special. hold old do i sound

[jabumbo]

"here, let me take a picture of you and your boyfriend making out on the couch with your camera. you will thank me for this later!"

:rolleyes:


i don't know much about the photos i have been tagged in facebook, but i can safely say that anything with an ex and myself is anything i wouldn't keep my mother from seeing

[monkey]

Since I've recently been put on the exgf side of the equation, I find it equally disturbing that current gf (or wife, in my case) is trying to stalk me on the internet, as if there were something that she needs to know about me in order to make her relationship better. Jesus, people have pasts, people have exes, people are allowed to make mistakes and move the fuck on. That said, I don't have kissy pics or really, nearly any pics of my exes on fb. There's one picture of us, with another friend who I miss like crazy, and that's the reason that pic is still up. And the wifey is blocked from seeing it, cause honestly, my past is none of her business.

[hpdrifter]

I'll also say that when husbo and I were moving the last time I came across some pictures of him and his ex (also the mother of his child), kissy pictures. I wasn't super amped about it. It stung a little bit and I was in a bad mood for a little while after that.

[Echewta]

I had to take pictures of me kissing my pillow down because the blanket got all pissy.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

for those who think it's totally normal: would you think it was alright for someone to keep photos with an ex out on his or her mantle, or an album of photos of a vacation with an ex on his or her coffee table?

in my opinion, that's what it's akin to.

have a private folder filled with all kinds of couple photos if you want...but I see no reason for displaying them on the internet to all mankind. I have some photobooth photos of me and other boyfriends, they're in my jewelry drawer...not on the internet.

I agree with this.

Although I do my best to avoid at all cost exes online, and exes of my current boyfriend to just not run in to this problem all together.

But it's not fun to see if it happens to be in your face or you run in to it super easily. Which has happened to me because my boyfriend had the biggest brain fart ever when he asked me to get on his computer and change his desktop image. He had a zillion photos of him with his ex in there the moment you opened the photos folder. And we were living with each other at this point.

I wanted to vomit.

[DipDipDive]

Imagine the pictures she has that are to dirty for Facebook.

I believe those would actually make me feel better being that she probably outweighs my boyfriend by about 40 pounds.

[LongDuckDong]

I believe those would actually make me feel better being that she probably outweighs my boyfriend by about 40 pounds.

What are you worried about then?

[DandyFop]

I'm fairly hesitant to post pics with someone when I am dating them...I don't think there are actually any up there of me and the guy I most recently dated. We were only together 3 months, but I avoided putting them up in case things didn't work out (I suppose I knew what was coming).

I am SOOOOO glad FB/Myspace was not around when I was a teenager, yuck. I sadly feel like I kinda have to be on it for comedy stuff, but I wish I could get rid of it sometimes. Then again, I have nobody to talk to most of the day so updating my status with inane bullshit is my only release.

I hope whomever I date in the future doesn't have one. Just makes things easier.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I believe those would actually make me feel better being that she probably outweighs my boyfriend by about 40 pounds.

hahahaaaaaaaaaaaa (y)

Sometimes I wonder why people are so competitive and why we compare ourselves to exes anyway. We just gotta keep telling ourselves what chew said about how the people we are with choose us now.

But I'm not going to lie. Despite seeing pics of him with the ex and feeling a little crummy, I did see a few of her in full (well, with clothes on) and it was enough to see that I got her beat in that department. :cool:

Looking better than the ex doesn't hurt. Not one bit.

[YoungRemy]

so the consensus is that facebook makes us miserable.

[camo]

What are you worried about then?

Exactly. She was just some fat bird to pass the time whilst he waited for a hotty like you to pass by.

Cheer up (y)

[yeahwho]

I don't do the facebook thing anymore, I agree with George Clooney who said this I would rather have a rectal exam on TV from someone with cold hands than have a Facebook page.

I do agree it is bad form to be out of relationship and continue to have kissy kissy pics online with an ex. Especially if you've begun another relationship. It says volumes about how clingy and starved for affection some folks are.

All my old GF pics are buried in the Vault behind bills I never paid while I was drinking and drugging hard enough to put Hunter S. Thompson to shame.

[cosmo105]

I have tons of old pics from a former relationship on my hard drive, that I'd never get rid of, because they're my history. I never look at them or anything, but I see no point in throwing it away. I'm a pack rat anyway :o

My boyfriend and I have had some issues trying to figure out where we draw the lines with that stuff. I had been single for some time when we met and he was relatively new out of a long-term (yet boring, off-and-on) relationship. (She totally sucked and I'm way better.) So there is some pictorial evidence here and there, and though it's been delicate we've figured out that it's a case-by-case thing. They were more like friends than lovers anyway, so he doesn't even see them as photos like that. It's definitely taken some adjustments on both sides, like not flying off the handle when I accidentally stumble across a photo that was buried in a drawer (and has probably been there for years) when I'm looking for something else. It happens, and you just have to put yourself in their shoes. I've been in love before and pictures were taken then, and if it didn't end horribly to the point of me SEEKING out photos and throwing them away, then I'm not going to go searching through all my shit. If he came across it and it made him uncomfortable I'd get rid of it. But it doesn't, and we're pretty secure in things by now - though it took some time to get there - so it's really not that big of a deal.

It'll just take some time. You guys have only been together a little bit, and that first time imagining them being with, touching, LOVING someone else is horrendous. But then you get over it and think about how lucky you are to have what you do right now (y)

[ms.peachy]

Thank you.

I'm not "working myself into a lather," I would just rather not see another woman kissing my boyfriend. I don't care that those images are from the past. When they're in my face, the context is very present.

Oh, really?



I've spent the last half hour angrily looking at pictures of her kissing my man, obsessively analyzing her stupid face and trying to decide if I'm better than her, just like a typical fucking psycho, jealous chick.


Someone held a gun to your head and forced you to spend time 'obsessively analyzing' these photos?

Look, you seem like a nice person, so I'm not trying to shit on you. I'm just saying, this is a choice you are making. So you can choose to be all victimized about some stupid pictures on Facebook that have absofuckinglutely nothing to do with you, or you can, you know, not. Your call.

[ms.peachy]

for those who think it's totally normal: would you think it was alright for someone to keep photos with an ex out on his or her mantle, or an album of photos of a vacation with an ex on his or her coffee table?

in my opinion, that's what it's akin to.


I think that's a ridiculous comparison. It's more like, someone having some photos in an album somewhere on a shelf. Which is totally fine. If the ex was using a photo of the two of them together as her avatar, then yeah, that would be annoying, but we're not talking about that, are we? And remember, DDD actively sought these photos out and then by her own admission spent time scrutinizing them. So it's completely not the same thing at all.

[Dorothy Wood]

I think that's a ridiculous comparison. It's more like, someone having some photos in an album somewhere on a shelf. Which is totally fine. If the ex was using a photo of the two of them together as her avatar, then yeah, that would be annoying, but we're not talking about that, are we? And remember, DDD actively sought these photos out and then by her own admission spent time scrutinizing them. So it's completely not the same thing at all.


well, I think you're a ridiculous comparison.

It's a completely valid comparison in my opinion. People present themselves and their lives to the world via facebook, and some people's lack of privacy settings basically invite anybody and everybody into their virtual living rooms.

photos are the bulk of the content on most people's pages, therefore it wouldn't be like an album on the shelf amongst other things. people put up pictures to say, "here's my life", and expect people to look at it. It's not a storage facility if it's on public display.


you just think it's silly to get upset about anything at all ever. must be great to be so perfect.

[cosmo105]

Dorothy, you're dead wrong here. Not everyone sees or uses FB the same way you do. Yes, it is your "profile," but not everyone is as on top of it as you seem to think. People update things in real time, and then move on. It's not like DDD's boyfriend (or even his ex-gf) looked through photos and CHOSE to put that one up after they had broken up. It was put up at the time it was valid, and they just never bothered to take it down because it wasn't that big of a deal. It's a valid comparison. Hell, my boyfriend logs in maybe once a day, sees whatever people have written to him, and then logs out. He doesn't check his page or even remember all the photos in which he's tagged. It's not something at the front of his mind. It's not that big of a deal.


Also, he just gave me this amazing love note for xmas that made me bawl like a baby :o

[cosmo105]

Also, I am full of Indian food and booze.

[Dorothy Wood]

Dorothy, you're dead wrong here. Not everyone sees or uses FB the same way you do. Yes, it is your "profile," but not everyone is as on top of it as you seem to think. People update things in real time, and then move on. It's not like DDD's boyfriend (or even his ex-gf) looked through photos and CHOSE to put that one up after they had broken up. It was put up at the time it was valid, and they just never bothered to take it down because it wasn't that big of a deal. It's a valid comparison. Hell, my boyfriend logs in maybe once a day, sees whatever people have written to him, and then logs out. He doesn't check his page or even remember all the photos in which he's tagged. It's not something at the front of his mind. It's not that big of a deal.


Also, he just gave me this amazing love note for xmas that made me bawl like a baby :o

I'm not judging you or your man for your facebook photos with or without exes. I'm just saying I understand why DDD was upset. I don't think it's respectful to keep photos of exes up in public, but that doesn't mean people don't have reasons for it, and it doesn't mean that it has to mean anything at all really. I just happen to find it weird, and have tried to describe my reasoning. Reasoning that I find completely logical and reasonable.

I'm very rarely on facebook, I don't really see it or use it as anything other than entertainment, or as a means to get and and communicate information about events. Still, I wouldn't put up kissy pictures. mostly because my exes are my friends on there and they'd get all bleh about it. I'd rather keep that kinda thing private anyway.

Ultimately, I don't see the point of leaving it up. It takes 2 seconds to get rid of. *shrugs*

[Echewta]

Also, I am full of Indian food and booze.

Whats new?

[ms.peachy]

well, I think you're a ridiculous comparison.

Um, okay. Not sure what that means, but okay.

It's a completely valid comparison in my opinion. People present themselves and their lives to the world via facebook, and some people's lack of privacy settings basically invite anybody and everybody into their virtual living rooms.

Oh come on. OK look if you want to make a 'meatspace' comparison, what you're saying is, it's as though the ex is not only leaving her front door open, but she is actively dragging people in off the street against their will and shoving pictures of her ex in their faces.

Again, no one is forcing DDD to look at any of these pictures. Not a single one of them. If she cannot resist seeking them out, that is her own doing. Why is she looking at the ex's pages and torturing herself?

photos are the bulk of the content on most people's pages, therefore it wouldn't be like an album on the shelf amongst other things. people put up pictures to say, "here's my life", and expect people to look at it. It's not a storage facility if it's on public display.

Yes, to say, "here's my life", exactly. In whatever terms they choose to define it. If you want another meatspace comparison, it's like a museum - a "Museum of Me", so to speak. A museum with a number of different galleries, open to the public. Now you can choose to go to the museum and visit every gallery, or maybe just one or two, or hey, you can not go at all. All those things are still 'on public display,' you simply choose whether to go look at them or not.


you just think it's silly to get upset about anything at all ever. must be great to be so perfect.

I am certainly far from perfect, but I most definitely prefer to reserve my "getting upset" for situations that actually merit it. Please tell me what possible constructive outcome there can be in getting one's feathers ruffled over photos of one's partner with an ex taken at a time when they were dating that were posted in the past on Facebook.

[b i o n i c]

meatspace?

[b i o n i c]

meatbook?

[cosmo105]

8=====D

[Dorothy Wood]

Oh come on. OK look if you want to make a 'meatspace' comparison, what you're saying is, it's as though the ex is not only leaving her front door open, but she is actively dragging people in off the street against their will and shoving pictures of her ex in their faces.

Again, no one is forcing DDD to look at any of these pictures. Not a single one of them. If she cannot resist seeking them out, that is her own doing. Why is she looking at the ex's pages and torturing herself?

I just don't agree that a person should keep intimate photos up in public. Out of respect for the other person in the photo, and his or her and the picture-poster's future relationship partners.

it's just fucking weird, okay? I don't understand the point of it. DDD was looking at the pictures because they were there and she was curious. No big mystery.



Yes, to say, "here's my life", exactly. In whatever terms they choose to define it. If you want another meatspace comparison, it's like a museum - a "Museum of Me", so to speak. A museum with a number of different galleries, open to the public. Now you can choose to go to the museum and visit every gallery, or maybe just one or two, or hey, you can not go at all. All those things are still 'on public display,' you simply choose whether to go look at them or not.

I stand by my comparison. the point of a museum is to show people things that are interesting, important, and/or of value. in a "museum-of-me", why would I need a snapshot of me smooching a guy I dated in 2007? how is that relevant to anything?




I am certainly far from perfect, but I most definitely prefer to reserve my "getting upset" for situations that actually merit it. Please tell me what possible constructive outcome there can be in getting one's feathers ruffled over photos of one's partner with an ex taken at a time when they were dating that were posted in the past on Facebook.

People aren't thinking of constructive outcomes when they stalk people on facebook, they're just acting on curiosity. the extent of feather-ruffling is usually unexpected.



Anyhow, I'm not trying to get you to share my opinion, merely trying to demonstrate that it is valid. However, as it still only an opinion, you're more than welcome to hold a different one. What I object to in this conversation, and in the tone you've taken with DDD, is your air of superiority and consequential exasperation with our opinions.

In other words, I think you're being condescending and rude.

[cosmo105]

Ms. Peachy is never either of those things. She's always been sound and sane. I couldn't even imagine her being rude to someone intentionally, without it being blatantly obvious. She's a very good arguer for her case, and never resorts to personal insults or anything of the sort that detracts from her argument.

[Dorothy Wood]

you gotta be kidding me

[cosmo105]

Uhh, no, I'm not. Maybe she's being a tiny bit "are you serious, look at what you're saying" because it's kind of ridiculous. IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Yes, it's uncomfortable to see pictures of your sig. other with someone else. But if you SOUGHT THEM OUT and they were PUT UP when he/she was WITH that other person, how is it your S.O.'S fault that they are still up? I took down pictures with my ex because I was dwelling upon them and it hurt me to look at them. Someone that hardly logs into FB let alone the interwebz is not going to care so much. Literally hundreds of pictures of my man and I are out there, and not all uploaded by us. What if we were to break up? What are the rules as far as mandatory deletion of photos?

OF COURSE I'd rather not see pics of my boyfriend with his ex. OF COURSE I don't want to think of them together. But they were, and those pictures exist, so it's up to me whether I want to click through and look at all his pictures and compare myself to her. But it doesn't make an iota of difference in our relationship.


What I'm saying here is it's arbitrary. That may be what you think, but it really is different in every relationship. And really, I've known Ms. Peachy for several years now and I don't think she is condescending at all. She's a well-spoken and articulate lady.

[ms.peachy]

Well cosmo thank you for your elegant defense; I am not sure I am quite entirely all of those things all of the time, but thank you nonetheless.

Dorothy look, at the end of the day, all I am really saying is that all of the power in this situation is DDD's, and I truthfully do not understand what is to be gained by her not owning that. If it is rude and condescending for me to suggest that she is the only person who can decide whether to let it eat her up or to let it go, then so be it.

[Dorothy Wood]

I know she's a nice person, and I respect her opinion. I just think sometimes she doesn't return the favor.


I know people are different, and some people like to have a billion pictures up and some people like to have none. I'm not looking down on people who put up pictures. I'm just saying kissy couple pics should be something private. Again, just my opinion.


and nobody's actually been able to explain to me what the purpose of keeping photos of your romantic past online is.

[YoungRemy]

girls, girls, you're both pretty...

[cosmo105]

There's a difference between actively "keeping" photos of your romantic past online and not deleting them. You put it up when it meant something, and then you left it alone because you don't think about it. It's not like you go through and decide, "i want people to see me kissing this person." it's just something you do not dwell upon because it's not that important. Whether it's on your page or someone else's, it's just not a huge issue unless someone brings it up.

if i saw wedding photo with someone else we'd have something to talk about

[ms.peachy]

and nobody's actually been able to explain to me what the purpose of keeping photos of your romantic past online is.

Why not? Why would your romantic past be different from any other part of your past? I have photos up from last Christmas, should I take them down now because hey look, it's a brand new Christmas now?

Oh and thanks for saying I'm nice. You're nice too, just completely and utterly wrong. (I KID, I KID:) )

[Dorothy Wood]

Dorothy look, at the end of the day, all I am really saying is that all of the power in this situation is DDD's, and I truthfully do not understand what is to be gained by her not owning that. If it is rude and condescending for me to suggest that she is the only person who can decide whether to let it eat her up or to let it go, then so be it.


and all I'm saying is that people don't decide to get upset. sometimes things are just upsetting.

personally, if I saw that someone my boyfriend dated had up pictures of them making out on facebook, I'd just think she was a loser. but I'd still get a gross feeling, and probably want to punch a wall.

[Documad]

There's a difference between actively "keeping" photos of your romantic past online and not deleting them.
Yep. I didn't think of that when this thread first started, but it's a good point.

Dorothy, I'm surprised to see you getting so pissed at Peachy over this. I can see a bit of both sides here, but mostly I think it's silly to put so many personal photos online in the first place. :rolleyes:

[Dorothy Wood]

There's a difference between actively "keeping" photos of your romantic past online and not deleting them. You put it up when it meant something, and then you left it alone because you don't think about it. It's not like you go through and decide, "i want people to see me kissing this person." it's just something you do not dwell upon because it's not that important. Whether it's on your page or someone else's, it's just not a huge issue unless someone brings it up.

if i saw wedding photo with someone else we'd have something to talk about

I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I think there's a reason behind everything, even if it's subconscious.

Why not? Why would your romantic past be different from any other part of your past? I have photos up from last Christmas, should I take them down now because hey look, it's a brand new Christmas now?

Oh and thanks for saying I'm nice. You're nice too, just completely and utterly wrong. (I KID, I KID:) )

dunno, I just think it's weird to broadcast personal details of any type. (Sounds weird coming from me, I know...but I maintain a pretty good amount of anonymity. someone could put the puzzle together if they had the time and inclination, but who's got the patience?)

I'm just sayin', kissy photos need a private album.


also, you're welcome, and thank you, and, NEVER! I'm always at least half right. :p

[Randetica]

looking at such pictures would make me cringe for weeks

[Dorothy Wood]

Yep. I didn't think of that when this thread first started, but it's a good point.

Dorothy, I'm surprised to see you getting so pissed at Peachy over this. I can see a bit of both sides here, but mostly I think it's silly to put so many personal photos online in the first place. :rolleyes:


oh, I'm not pissed. I just know what it feels like to get upset about stuff like this, so I became slightly miffed.


I, thankfully, only have the ever-fading memory of my boyfriend traipsing off hand-in-hand with the last floozy he dated. It still stings to think of, but it's going away. except for now I'm thinking of her and it's making my stomach upset. ha. :(

I'm actively trying to get over that reaction though. I talked to him about my feelings and he assured me that he is dedicated to me, and was pretty flabbergasted that I would even care about her at all because she has nothing to do with us and yadda yadda yadda, logic logic logic.


it's just scary, relationships are scary and they make your stomach hurt sometimes. :/

[lolkat]

Yep. I didn't think of that when this thread first started, but it's a good point.

Dorothy, I'm surprised to see you getting so pissed at Peachy over this. I can see a bit of both sides here, but mostly I think it's silly to put so many personal photos online in the first place. :rolleyes:

my dick is huuuuge looka t my dick!!! queef queef queef queef! c

can't you all just agree that ypu are a a bunch of fucking uptight bitches like the rest of the low self esteem whores on this board an juss kill yo-selves?!

i mean fo' real! cmon yall!

[ms.peachy]

yeah, probably. So what.

[Funky Pepp]

part of what makes photo albums good is that they're YOURS. you go to someone's house who you've known for a while, getting to actually look at a family album is actually a privilege. putting it all out there makes it a little less special. hold old do i sound

I totally agree. I would not put up any fucking photos like that there too. All I'm saying is, that there are people who do use it as a photo-album without wanting to hurt someone with those pics. PUNKT!

There are enough people on this board who put up all that of stupid "kissing-his/hers-friend-photos" in the "Familiy Album" and not all of those relationships are going to last forever. But it's so cool to have all of your awesome photos somewhere in the internet, right :rolleyes: And nobody cares or thinks about the fact that if they are on the internet once, it's quite difficult to make sure they get deleted if you no longer want them up there. :mad:

Okay, now I will calm down and wish you all a merry christmas :)

[Helvete]

What about pictures of me with other guy's girlfriends? They shouldn't really be tagged, right?

[Kid Presentable]

Ms. Peachy is never either of those things. She's always been sound and sane. I couldn't even imagine her being rude to someone intentionally, without it being blatantly obvious. She's a very good arguer for her case, and never resorts to personal insults or anything of the sort that detracts from her argument.

Ducktales. Peachy loves the couple of girls here who need her wisdom.

[LongDuckDong]

Thread of the year. Peaches rules!

[Dorothy Wood]

ha, LongDuckDong has pictures of herself kissing her ex boyfriend on her facebook.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I totally see where peach is coming from AND dorothy.

I agree that we don't have to actively seek these things. We all get curious and fall for it sometimes, but in the end, we walked through the door or clicked the link, no one else.

So it's best just to not do that all together to avoid this type of thing all together.

But since the door WAS walked through, it does make you wonder why those pictures are still up if they are no longer together. Sure maybe it's because the person forgot they were there. But sometimes people are too stuck or ridiculous enough to leave it up on purpose.

I guess that goes full circle though to "just don't look" and you'll never have to think about it.

Also just on a side note, pictures of kids from last Christmas and pictures of someone you've dated in the past are two totally different things...

[hpdrifter]

I guess I don't see why there is such a controversy here. I mean, yes, she had a choice not to look at those pictures but sometimes Facebook makes it difficult. It suggests people as friends and the same people appear time after time after time. It is constantly suggesting to me the page of my husband's ex girlfriend and the mother of his child. Luckily I am not all that curious, I see her all the time and we're very amicable so it isn't a problem.

You know, we're only human. Having it in your face every time you log in can wear a body down. Maybe that's not how it happened but either way, so she succumbed to curiousity, got stung for it and came here to vent. Not sure why she's being judged so harshly for it.

I maintain that, in my opinion, it is strange to have photos posted of yourself in an intimate or romantic (kissing) moment with someone with whom you are no longer involved.

[Echewta]

my dick is huuuuge looka t my dick!!! queef queef queef queef! c

can't you all just agree that ypu are a a bunch of fucking uptight bitches like the rest of the low self esteem whores on this board an juss kill yo-selves?!

i mean fo' real! cmon yall!

This coming from someone who has such high selfesteem, they are using an alias so they can say whats on their mind.

[cosmo105]

Oh god I am so hung over. :(

[saz]

i'm with dorothy and ddd

i think it's weird to keep up old couple/kissy/intimate photos if the relationship ended years ago.

[Jack Donaghy]

DipDive...Dip, whatever, stick with the typical psycho, jealous chick attitude. Successful men and Senators looking for interns will love you.

[Helvete]

Why do I get the feeling this person is an alias?

[Kid Presentable]

I maintain that, in my opinion, it is strange to have photos posted of yourself in an intimate or romantic (kissing) moment with someone with whom you are no longer involved.

Yeah man, fully. I'd expect people to be congiscent of their present state enough to realise that they shouldn't proudly display photos of dead relationships. If my wife and I spilt, bam those photos would be gone. Why would I possibly keep them up?

[DipDipDive]

I'd like to clear up a few things here.

First of all, I didn't "actively seek" this chick out. She commented on a picture of my boyfriend on another friend's page, I thought what she said was kind of funny, I subsequently clicked on her profile and saw that we have like 5 mutual friends, so I looked at her pictures to see if I've met her before and BAM, there are a half dozen shots in her profile pics album of her and my man together. I honestly hadn't put two and two together, didn't have the slightest clue who she was before seeing the photos. Boyfriend had never even told me her name...That aspect of this was totally unintentional.

BUT I chose to continue to look for as long as I did, compare myself, etc. I could've left her page right away when I saw the kissy pics and got that initial OH FUCK I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS feeling. But I didn't. I tortured myself by looking through all of her photo albums and scrutinizing every image. Seeing her face upset me, but for that, I take full responsibility. My jealous feelings aren't this chick's fault, nor are they my boyfriend's fault. They're mine.

I maintain, however, that it's not irrational to dislike the image of the man I love kissing someone else, whether that image is from the past or not.

I'm on the fence as to whether or not it's okay to keep pictures of an ex up on the internet. It's situational, I guess, because just like with anything else, people have different attitudes about these kinds of things (obviously). I still agree with Dorothy's comparison because I happen to be a part of the tuck-pictures-of-the-ex-away-in-a-shoebox school of thought, which on the internet translates to removing ex-boyfriend photos from public view. That doesn't mean everyone does (or should) feel the same way I do - I just happen to wish this particular lady shared my opinion. :o But she obviously doesn't and it's not my place to hold that against her.

Whatevs, I shelved my irrational bullshit pretty quickly after it ensued. Part of my problem (in this situation and in general) is that I'm not all that adept at living in the moment. That's something I need to work on, and it's improving with time, especially since meeting the main squeeze. I'm so, so happy when I'm with him and I realize that's what counts. BOTH of our exes are just that - exes. We're together now and the rest is inconsequential.

[Kid Presentable]

Is he a breast man, leg man or ass man?

[DipDipDive]

He's a DipDipDive man. :cool:

[cosmo105]

^(y)

[Helvete]

Yeah, me too!

[DipDipDive]

Do you have an internet crush on me?

[Helvete]

Yeah, I think so. You're very nice but have no fear, I've a real life girl to keep me from stalking you.

[DipDipDive]

teehee :o

[Kid Presentable]

He's a DipDipDive man. :cool:

shot (y)

[Audio.]

He didnt know you then and chooses you now. Thats whats important.

Bump.

[venusvenus123]

I'd like to clear up a few things here.

First of all, I didn't "actively seek" this chick out. She commented on a picture of my boyfriend on another friend's page, I thought what she said was kind of funny, I subsequently clicked on her profile and saw that we have like 5 mutual friends, so I looked at her pictures to see if I've met her before and BAM, there are a half dozen shots in her profile pics album of her and my man together. I honestly hadn't put two and two together, didn't have the slightest clue who she was before seeing the photos. Boyfriend had never even told me her name...That aspect of this was totally unintentional.

BUT I chose to continue to look for as long as I did, compare myself, etc. I could've left her page right away when I saw the kissy pics and got that initial OH FUCK I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS feeling. But I didn't. I tortured myself by looking through all of her photo albums and scrutinizing every image. Seeing her face upset me, but for that, I take full responsibility. My jealous feelings aren't this chick's fault, nor are they my boyfriend's fault. They're mine.

I maintain, however, that it's not irrational to dislike the image of the man I love kissing someone else, whether that image is from the past or not.

I'm on the fence as to whether or not it's okay to keep pictures of an ex up on the internet. It's situational, I guess, because just like with anything else, people have different attitudes about these kinds of things (obviously). I still agree with Dorothy's comparison because I happen to be a part of the tuck-pictures-of-the-ex-away-in-a-shoebox school of thought, which on the internet translates to removing ex-boyfriend photos from public view. That doesn't mean everyone does (or should) feel the same way I do - I just happen to wish this particular lady shared my opinion. :o But she obviously doesn't and it's not my place to hold that against her.

Whatevs, I shelved my irrational bullshit pretty quickly after it ensued. Part of my problem (in this situation and in general) is that I'm not all that adept at living in the moment. That's something I need to work on, and it's improving with time, especially since meeting the main squeeze. I'm so, so happy when I'm with him and I realize that's what counts. BOTH of our exes are just that - exes. We're together now and the rest is inconsequential.

that's great, you've got a level head over the whole thing.

i have never been in a similar situation (the early stages of my 19+ yr relationship pre-date the internet!) but i guess it is a little weird to keep kissy photos of you and your ex on facebook. it's natural to make comparisons between yourself and her and it's also natural to want to look, even though you know that you shouldn't!

anyway, glad you got it sorted in your head.

happy christmas to one and all. :cool:

[Echewta]

Lets not get all crazy Venus and think that DDD is level headed.

[venusvenus123]

:D