the best gift i ever got

[TurdBerglar]

a combo gift of beef jerky and gym shorts


fucking awesome

[Helvete]

From the same person?

[TurdBerglar]

it was the same gift

rapped together

[Helvete]

Wow, it really was a combo. That's as fucked up as it is cool. That person really must know what you love.

[RobMoney$]

Was it real jerky or was it slim Jim

[TurdBerglar]

just that packaged shit


Jack Link's

[Kid Presentable]

Was it given to you by a boardmember?

[lolkat]

the best gift that i ever got...

...was the long, hard shaft of your mother's cock.

[TurdBerglar]

i ate too much beef jerky and now i can't sleep



:(

[Bob]

put your shorts on, that should do it

[TurdBerglar]

they still have that weird new vinyl smell to them


gym shorts are suppose to smell like ass and balls

[Bob]

it should be settled by the morning

[TurdBerglar]

you're always thinking, bob

maybe i should wear both pairs of shorts


break them in at the same time

[Adam]

I thought it was gonna be a thread about Turd getting his first handjob.

I've never had Beef Jerky, probably never will but I have no idea how it is made and I'm not sure I want to know.

[Bob]

it's made out of cow jizz

[TurdBerglar]

dehydrated cow jizz


get the facts straight, bob

[Bob]

well, dehydrated and jerked

[Adam]

Ok, not as bad as I thought. Being veggie I didn't want the cow to be harmed...

...wait - cows are female aren't they? You mean Bull jizz right?

[Bob]

no, cows. it's a complicated process, that's why it's such a delicacy

[TurdBerglar]

yeah

these are cows that gush

New England Spotted Gushing Cows

[TurdBerglar]

this guy's gift sucked ass on the other hand

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34595707/ns/local_news-hartford_ct/

[Helvete]

Why would you stab someone on Christmas day? Like why would you even have a knife with you? Unless you were literally about to cut some meat up, there is no excuse.

[Adam]

Most domestic violence happens around Christmas Day - if you need to defend yourself you need a knife. Or a gun but then that'd be a bit extreme - yup, knife would be better.

[jabumbo]

this guy's gift sucked ass on the other hand

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34595707/ns/local_news-hartford_ct/


anyone see bob today?

[Ty Webb]

stressin

[miss soul fire]

Dude, have some more beef jerky.http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/1/13254/27_2007/jerky.jpg

[ms.peachy]

My mental image of Turd is definitely that of a guy sitting round eating beef jerky in his shorts, so I totally appreciate that that is indeed the perfect present.