Saying "I love you"

[DipDipDive]

I'm talking about romantic love, not family or friend love.

Did you say it first, or did your partner? Was there some kind of staging the first time you said and/or you returned your first "I love you" with your significant other, or was it spontaneously said at a random moment? If you were the one to say it first, did you get the "I love you, too" immediately? Do you think it's a deal breaker if your partner doesn't say it back the first time you say it to him or her?

Do tell, everyone.

[Helvete]

Nah, I don't do that shit.

[DipDipDive]

My inquiry was posed only to those capable of loving and who have hearts made of material other than cold, cold stone.

[Helvete]

I should have added: anymore. For alas, 'twas a time whence I allowed such a feeling to resonate throughout my body, but that was taken from me with such harshness, I don't think I could allow such a thing again.

[DipDipDive]

That's really sad. :( Love is so good. Why wouldn't you want to feel that again?

[Helvete]

Well okay I would, but I'm just making damn sure that I'm not with some lying bitch first. Why would a girl tell you it was okay to say 'I love you' and say the same thing back, only to break up whilst I was out the country several weeks later? I put it down to the fact that she never loved me in the first place.

But for the short amount of time I thought it was real, it was pretty damn awesome.

[DipDipDive]

Yeah, it's scary.

I would rather someone not say it to me at all, even if I said it first, than say it and not mean it. That would be devastating.

[DipDipDive]

I want to tell my dude I love him, because I do. It's about to burst out of me, but I'm not 100% confident he'll say he loves me back. I know he really cares about me and wants to be with me, but I don't think he's quite there yet.

Still, I sort of just want him to know how I feel about him. I think it would feel really good to tell him and don't care a whole lot if he doesn't say it, too.

But, as Jerry Seinfeld says, if I don't get the return, "that's a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there."

Heavy shit, man.

[cosmo105]

I'll go first.

*BARF RAINBOW ALERT*


It was maybe a month and a half into dating, and we had only been serious for the last month. But we knew. It's funny, you hear about it in movies and shit and think that's just BS, but we knew.


It was the night after our first trip to a Lucha Vavoom! match, so of course we had had several margaritas apiece and the resultant trip to Del Taco. After scarfing down our Veggie Wraps and Macho Fries (as you do), we were canoodling and giggling on the couch in the quiet of the late night. He stopped, and stared at me, and

him: I'm scared that it's too soon for me to have these feelings.
me: I don't think so. I know we're moving quickly, but I've been in insane fast things before, and knew they were insane at the time, and this feels entirely different. It feels fine to me.
him: Me too.

He stared into my eyes for a while before leaning in to whisper,

him: Would you be freaked out if I told you I loved you?
me: Not at all.

And then he kissed me.

him: I love you.
me: I love you too.





:o

[cosmo105]

Addendum: Every relationship goes at a different pace. We said it a lot quicker than most, and in the past that's bitten me in the ass but obviously not this time. I'd say don't rush it or plan it too much and just let it happen when it feels natural. Like a good dump.

[DipDipDive]

You two gross me out. <3

Maybe I'll just text it to him.

[paul jones]

With my last ex I said 'I love you' after we first had a fuck.She replied 'I love you more'

Then after lots of texts during the ordeal saying the same kind of thing it dissolved.

So next time I accidently meet someone I will not say 'I love you' at all until she makes me a nice cardigan with some deer on it or maybe some sheep.(y)

[Adam]

Alright, gay...

I've done both ways round in the past. When it was said to me once I said nothing back and didn't for a few days and I really had to think about it. Then I eventually said it, but I don't think I did - the relationship was always a fiery one and I'm glad I'm out of it - we are still friends but she sometimes annoys the hell out of me. I digress...

I think alcohol is always a good way of getting these things out of the way - but maybe that is because I'm always looking at the get out clause in every situation. But from what you said on this board you and your bf seem pretty solid so I wouldn't fret because I'm sure he'll say it back.

[Echewta]

I lost a bet and had to say it. :(

[camo]

I haven't said it in a while and nor do I think I'll be saying it anytime soon.

Is it possible to become immune to love? I used to be able to fall in love with the person sat opposite me on the train but nowadays the slightest mistake or imperfection will put me off a girl.

I think I'm broken.

[Echewta]

You aren't broken, you are just getting older.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it

[Ty Webb]

LOVE IS FOR ASSHOLES.

[Ty Webb]

HENCE THIS THREAD.

[Echewta]

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

[Ty Webb]

i treat objects like women, man.

[Echewta]

How so?

[Ty Webb]

LIKE IT'S MY JOB

[rirv]

Saying I love you to a girl is so gay.

[Adam]

Saying I love you to a girl is so gay.

Sorry rirv, I already did the gay joke.

Unless they are lesbians (y)

[trailerprincess]

My sister said it to her boyfriend (now husband) after he said it, a few weeks in to the relationship. But she called him back later the same day to 'take it back'

hahahaha

[nodanaonlyzuul]

It took a couple of months. Like cosmo, our relationship moved relatively fast but it felt right. We just knew that we were great together.

Anyhow, on the night that he said it, I noticed that we was acting a little funny, as if he were nervous or something. But I thought maybe I was just imagining it so I ignored it. Then once we were in bed, we were lying there holding hands and he just said it. I was the "bad guy" and said thank you for telling me. Then he asked if him saying that made me nervous or uncomfortable to let him know and he'll hold off on saying it again, that he didn't want it to ruin things.

I just told him that I was being honest with saying thank you for telling me and although I felt as if I was very close to feeling that way too, I didn't want to just say it back because I felt I had to. I wanted to say it back because I wanted to.

A few days later, I said it to him because I was 100% certain of it and I wanted to let him know.

It's funny because now he tells me he knew he loved me right away, but didn't want to freak me out and scare me away by saying it so early on.

I, being the armor carrying woman I've been for a while, would have likely run away our of fear. At that time I wanted something serious, but when I was dating people, if a guy said something or acted like that too early, it was done. I'd feel nervous and a little miffed that he felt that way so soon since he didn't really know me yet and would back off and then stop seeing him... that's a little weird I know but it's the way I am.

And my guy just by being around me even for that short period of time knew that I had the armor up. So he was patient and waited. He was especially patient even after we talked about being exclusive and I said I wasn't ready. Can't imagine what it took to keep such strong feelings concealed from me on top of it.

I'm ridiculous but he knows how to handle me and somehow still loves me. (y) I'm ridiculously lucky.

[rirv]

Fucking hell, do women really think through things this much?

[HEIRESS]

I think we dated a good 6-8 months before we said it.

I was in school and working full time so I really didnt see him too often when our relationship was in the early stages.

Perhaps once a week, tops.

and seven years later all is good.

[monkey]

i told my last buddy that i loved him first (after probably 4-5 months of dating), but i realized that i feel and realize things like that a lot quicker than others, and i didnt want him to return the sentiment just yet because i didn't think he had felt it nor realized it yet. and i made him hold off on telling me, even though i think he realized it pretty soon after i told him. i just really wanted to enjoy the feeling of me being able to love someone else without having to worry about someone loving me.

the time before that, i actually think i fell in love too quickly and i was so involved in the idea that he loved me sooo much that i didn't see heartbreak coming. it was too much.

i sometimes think about falling in love in the future, and i'm not sure how im gonna be able to do it, but i'm sure when the time comes and i realize it, there's not much that will keep me quiet. i just believe in being open, no matter how crazy it makes me seem. but then again, i might be different at 50.

[ms.peachy]

Who can remember, at this point.

We still say it to eachother all the time though. We're pretty disgustingly cute for old married people.

[na§tee]

i love you all.

[checkyourprez]

i say 'i love you', one nutt at a time.

[ms.peachy]

i love you all.

You should have left your original post, it was very sweet.

[monkey]

^^^ yep. i awwww'd out loud.

[paul jones]

^^^ yep. i awwww'd out loud.

I want to to know what caused the Awwww'd out loud-ness.

[Dorothy Wood]

ha, I'm glad you made this thread before I did. I actually spent some time reading an "I love you" thread on a forum about purses to get it out of my system a couple months ago.

I pretty much fell in love with my gentleman friend right away. He's the most.

But...I have not said it. I did tell him "I'm like in love with you dude" when I was wasted on Halloween and after he rescued me from making a huge mistake.

After that, he made mention of "falling in love" a couple of times. but I kind of shied away from that kind of talk because I was nervous.

and now...I don't know who's gonna say what and when. I'm scared to say it first, but I'm fairly certain he feels love feelings. I think we're both just planners and dorks who want it to be the absolute perfect moment.

at this point, I'm pretty sure I've been saying it in my sleep, I feel it so hard. :o

[funk63]

lol humans

[Adam]

I think I'm totally in love with my new girl right now (2 months dating). I remembered this thread so I came for advice.

But so far I've come as close as calling her 'my companion'. I think calling her my gf without my brain going into freak out mode should be the first step. I have just tweeted her a link to AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long so that should be a pretty big hint.

I also think she'd totally freak out if I said it so we'd both just be freaking out together.

But I am so happy atm I could puke :o

[miss soul fire]

Love is not forever. Not that's what you asked. Hihi.:D

[JoLovesMCA]

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

[hardnox71]

But I am so happy atm I could puke :o

That is the shit, right there. Good for you!!! (y)

[Ssiti_mia]

i rarely say i love u toward my husband or my parents...i don't know why but i only say it to my daughter.

maybe i should say it often to them

[gbsuey]

I haven't said it in a while and nor do I think I'll be saying it anytime soon.

Is it possible to become immune to love? I used to be able to fall in love with the person sat opposite me on the train but nowadays the slightest mistake or imperfection will put me off a girl.

I think I'm broken.

ha! me too

ok i just saw how old this thread is...hopefully you're a bit less broken these days Camo. I'm staying picky, and in fact i've convinced myself that i'm the most hideous person ever just so i won't have to worry about attracting anyone, let alone someone unsuitable!! Yes, i know...old, sad and lonely may just well beckon !

[Adam]

ok i just saw how old this thread is...

yeah, that was my fault with the bump.

You should try OkCupid. I went on the odd dating site as I preferred it to the random stranger finding out their horrible afterwards method of old but it still wasn't great. But then I answered very honestly on OkCupid and it matched me up with someone who is a freak like me.

More people meet online now than elsewhere I recently read.

[gbsuey]

Yeah i have a couple of friends who do pretty well out of it! I'm not up for dating for a good long while so i've no need for it.

[camo]

ha! me too

ok i just saw how old this thread is...hopefully you're a bit less broken these days Camo. I'm staying picky, and in fact i've convinced myself that i'm the most hideous person ever just so i won't have to worry about attracting anyone, let alone someone unsuitable!! Yes, i know...old, sad and lonely may just well beckon !

Nope, still broken. I've had a few relationships since this thread started and none of them go close to me saying it or feeling it.

I'm staying picky too.

[avignon]

I think I'm totally in love with my new girl right now (2 months dating). I remembered this thread so I came for advice.

But so far I've come as close as calling her 'my companion'. I think calling her my gf without my brain going into freak out mode should be the first step. I have just tweeted her a link to AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long so that should be a pretty big hint.

I also think she'd totally freak out if I said it so we'd both just be freaking out together.

But I am so happy atm I could puke :o

Advice about what? You sent the link. You're golden.
And no one deserves advice if they go bumping two year old threads. (I'd love to know how many of these girls are still in the loves though.)

[Adam]

Advice about what? You sent the link. You're golden.
And no one deserves advice if they go bumping two year old threads. (I'd love to know how many of these girls are still in the loves though.)

The advice was already here - I bumped it because I got the advice and to say this is my situation and this thread is still relevant. But the advice I wanted was to freak her out or not - I decided not.

A lot of things have happened since this and I have a major decision or two to make in the next month. One could pull us apart, one could bring us closer together.

[Helvete]

I've finally met someone awesome enough that I think I'll be able to say it soon too! Just thought I should tell you.

[Dorothy Wood]

my situation worked out. I waited til after valentine's day, but definitely was hoping he'd say it that day...even got in a terrible fight about it.
then maybe a couple weeks later I just blurted it out when I was wasted, and he said it back.

now, 1.5 years later, we say it all the time. it's disgusting.

[camo]

I've finally met someone awesome enough that I think I'll be able to say it soon too! Just thought I should tell you.

Nice one (y)

[ToucanSpam]

now, 1.5 years later, we say it all the time. it's disgusting.

bahahaha d'aww

I think it's only offensive when it's said in front of people ONLY to get a reaction out of people, otherwise it's perfectly cool to say it whenever. Obviously.

The current girl I'm "dating" keeps bouncing between "I don't think I can do this anymore" to "so are you going to invite me to your friends wedding reception." It's a hell of a roller-coaster and it's definitely frustrating, but I like her enough to want to continue to try. I don't blame her for feeling so uncertain, especially in the wake of ending a serious relationship. We've been dating two months and I'm definitely nowhere near the L word. Not saying it will never happen but that's just our pace, if I can back up what cosmo has already said in this thread.

[Helvete]

Nice one (y)

She beat me to it!

[Adam]

Three months into dating and I'm moving to London with her :eek:

Not said the L word yet either.

But holy shit London, I didn't think I'd ever move to London for anyone but now I'm kinda excited at the adventure. Figured I can always come back to Sheffield if it alls goes wrong.

[camo]

She beat me to it!

Nicer one (y)

[abbott]

I just said it after a few dates when I picked her up for the date before we left her house., I told her I love You and I also plan on marrying you later. then I asked is that OK? She smiled like I had never seen in our first 2 days and she said it was OK.

I knew we would mary her the second time I meet her.

[Helvete]

Nicer one (y)

Cheers, buddy!

Three months into dating and I'm moving to London with her :eek:

Not said the L word yet either.

But holy shit London, I didn't think I'd ever move to London for anyone but now I'm kinda excited at the adventure. Figured I can always come back to Sheffield if it alls goes wrong.

Good luck! I'm sure things will go well and you'll be so glad you did!

[Lyman Zerga]

when i say to my sister that she isnt as fat as she thinks means in other words that i love her

[fonky pizza]

Many guys said to me I love you...only when we were having sex.... :/