guests

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I guess I should be thankful we are so loved, but since my boyfriend and I have lived together we have had frequent guests (sometimes repeats) from out of town stay with us.

I've never had so many people visit and stay with me in such a short time span. It's been eight times within a year that we had different guests stay ranging from 3-10 days. And we will have more guests at the end of this month then again early next month. Let me note that we have a one bedroom, one bathroom place. Us two plus at least two or three others here is kind of, well, cramped.

It's not like I'm not antisocial but there is something about people physically staying with us so often that is starting to drive me a little nuts. I always feel obligated to come up with things to do and that I have to be with them all the time. That and the lack of space/an extra bathroom.

I'd like to have a span of at least 3 months where no one comes to stay over. Please.

[Dorothy Wood]

ugh, that sounds horrible. I hate having people stay with me. My aunt, uncle, and cousin used to come visit and stay over sometimes...and it's fully annoying.

luckily I live with roommates that my family and out of town friends don't know, so I pull the "well, you could, but I'm not sure what [roommate]'s schedule is." and they usually decide to stay in a hotel. or with cort and her boyfriend. :p

ah geez, martha stewart...I am not. I'm a terrible hostess. I'm good at the entertainment part though, i.e. music and games. meh.

[jabumbo]

10 days? shit's ridiculous!


the longest i've ever had someone stay at my place was 2 or 3 days. anything longer than that is pretty much unreasonable to ask of unless it's for something like job hunting in a new city, and even that should have its limits.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

the 10 days was a one time thing but I wanted to include it because GAH!

The average ranges from 3-4 days. But still. That's a lot of people over to stay with us. Then most of the people that visit us we actually go to visit at least once or twice a year.

Most of the people that visit are relatives or friends of my boyfriends. They are either much richer (which is partially true) than my own family and friends which is why they can afford to fly up all the time. That or they love him more than my friends and family love me.

Which to be honest is fine by me because if we had any ADDITIONAL visitors I'd probably jump off our balcony.

I too am a terrible hostess. I like my place to be my safe haven. Where I can come back, and it will be silent unless I put on the music I want to listen to or watch something I want to watch. I very much enjoy time where people simply are NOT talking.
:o

[hpdrifter]

You're much more balanced about it than I would be. I hate having guests for even one night. If they crashed because they were too messed up to drive that's fine but they better be up and gone when I get up.

I think this is because my friends have no boundaries and have simply worn out their welcome. They'll linger until 5 or 6 pm the next day, sometimes try to just hang out the whole weekend. It's gotten to the point where I just have to say, okay it's time for you to leave now. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

My home is my sanctuary, you come and go on my fucking terms.

[Adam]

I have four double bedrooms, live alone, two WCs and a separate shower room and bathroom - no1 visits me :(

[Bob]

I have four double bedrooms, live alone, two WCs and a separate shower room and bathroom - no1 visits me :(

how the hell do you afford that. does it not have heat or something

[Adam]

how the hell do you afford that. does it not have heat or something

Its my old parents house. I moved in cus it was empty after they died and paying a mortgage on a empty house is a waste of money. Its for sale.

I don't heat it though, I have portable oil heaters in the two rooms I use - shits expensive to run though. Just Council Tax (£85) and Water Rates (£50) cripple me monthly even before all other domestics. But once its sold and the mortgage is paid off I should have an ok pay-day (y)

[Bob]

well that makes sense. i thought maybe you were squatting or something

[NicRN77]

I have a one bedroom place...more people used to stay the night when I had a 2 bedroom. Longest stay was 3 nights. I get really sick of people after a few days so 3 nights is long enough.

[trailerprincess]

I get really antsy if people stay over. I like being with friends but I can never ever relaxed enough to enjoy it. I am always on edge for some reason. I had some friends over a few weeks ago and thought I was going to either die myself (they insisted on having the heating on full blast all day) or kill them (just to relieve my personal anxiety)

At least I have spare bedrooms now and can escape.

[jabumbo]

i find that if i offer the crash pad before they ask, they are more inclined to not accept in the long run.

and if they are going to stay, i usually try and work out the terms of arrival/departure before the visit occurs so if someone does try to linger over my personal time, i don't have to feel as bad for giving them the boot.

[Echewta]

Adam, you should invite the BBMB over for a weekend party.

[gbsuey]

Yep, should the bb's do a show in Adam's vicinity it's all back to his, that ok with you???

[Adam]

Yep, should the bb's do a show in Adam's vicinity it's all back to his, that ok with you???

Yeah fine - damages have to be paid for though. There is only three spare rooms though and one doesn't have a mattress, so people have to share beds. Disclaimer: Cameras may be fitted with footage published on the web and watched for a small fee.

[Echewta]

Great. I'll bring some Korean BBQ.

[insertnamehere]

i hope to someday take advantage of some of you guys as a place to stay when im traveling. because hopefully someday i will travel.

i dont like having guests over, even just to hang out. part of this is because my room is messy as hell and i dont want them to see what a slob i am. i also feel like they'll go through all my stuff or something. i dont know. it makes me uncomfortable to have people all up in my space.

[Adam]

I would happily host any of you guys if you did for whatever reason decide to travel to Sheffield. Its the dullest place in the world though. Unless you particularly like the English country side and a very hilly industrial city then there ain't much going for it.

Maybe snooker world championships is the most popular reason to come but I would doubt very few non-english here would even know what snooker is.

But the offer is open. Too much of the hard sell there?

[gbsuey]

Is this the beginnings of a bbmb holiday service?? I would totally want to at least meet up with other board members if i was gonna be travelling somewhere there are any. I'm hoping to get to San Diego sometime to visit my brother so i'll be calling up the bbmb'ers in that area!! But i don't really think i'd expect a place to stay!!

[nodanaonlyzuul]

So his Mom came to visit maybe a month ago. Two weeks later, his best friend and wife came to visit. This past weekend, his Aunt and Uncle visited. They were supposed to stay at a hotel and last minute decided to cancel it and stay with us. We literally just moved in to our new apartment last weekend and I had to work late all last week so I have done ZERO unpacking.

...

I really, REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY need a break from people visiting from out of town. Seriously. Desperately.


STOP VISITING US. THANK YOU. FUCK.

:) :o:(

[Dorothy Wood]

dude, that fucking sucks! ugh!

I would die, literally.

[Rock]

Guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days.

Having frequent visitors, just stinks.

Why don't you tell your man to ease up a bit on it? Sure thats gonna be a weird conversation, but if its bothering you that much.....

[hpdrifter]

:(

[hpdrifter]

I'm just kidding. You were sweet to offer.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Hp, you don't count :) you are nice, a friend, and it's no biggie. It's the boyfriends family and friends CONSTANTLY visiting us that is driving me up the wall.

Guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days.

Having frequent visitors, just stinks.

Why don't you tell your man to ease up a bit on it? Sure thats gonna be a weird conversation, but if its bothering you that much.....

I am going to. I wanted to this morning, but they were STILL here and I had to leave for work. I am going to tell him just say NO to people for at least 3 months.

What bothered me most though is that they WERE going to stay in a hotel. They KNEW we were NOT finished unpacking. I recognize that we have a 2-bedroom now but we literally have been in this place for a WEEK total. I had to work late all week and couldn't finish upacking. We didn't even know we were getting the place until the day before we started to move. And if they already budgeted for a hotel, then why not stay there because you know there are boxes and shit everywhere at our new place?

The second bathroom wasn't even ready for them! We had to drag them with us to the store so we could purchase (which we did not budget to purchase so soon, as we did not except to even have a new apartment yet OR to HAVE GUESTS so soon, so we were going to get this stuff in a few weeks) a shower rod, curtain, a shower head since it didn't have one, hardware to install it, etc.

Anyway. I'm also just venting, not necessarily asking for suggestions. I already plan on talking to him about it.

I'm so thankful that people visit me maybe two times a year, TOTAL. If both our families liked to visit this much... I hate to even think about it, really.

[hpdrifter]

Yeah what is up with family, seriously? My, uh, whatever, husband and I moved into our first apartment together a few years ago and at about 9pm we had finally finished bringing boxes and furniture up the stairs. Everything was in precariously balanced, disorganized piles, you couldn't even walk through the main room. And he tells me his mom and step dad are coming up the next morning for a visit. There wasn't a place for them to sit! Or even stand, really, without risking being buried by a mountain of crap.

After spending the whole day hauling heavy shit we were up until 1am unburying, at the very least, the couch and a chair or two.

:mad::mad::mad:

[jabumbo]

anyone who visits within a month of moving into a new place should be fully prepared to help move/unpack/fix shit around said place.


i really hope that your most recent guests at least offered to help fix up the bathroom you readied for them. hell, i wouldn't have even thought of doing something like that on short notice.

the only visitors i had at my place for a while after i got it came only to help me clean or move. you can tell a real friend apart by the one who doesn't mind painting the ceiling with you for a couple of brews

[Sluts_Anonymous]

Hey, I'll pain the ceiling with you for a couple of brews!

[nodanaonlyzuul]

i really hope that your most recent guests at least offered to help fix up the bathroom you readied for them. hell, i wouldn't have even thought of doing something like that on short notice.

One of them helped with the shower head, but not because we asked and it was not necessary by the point he took over. He saw that the shower head I installed was leaking. I was in the middle of taking it off though to install the other washer (which I knew was the problem) but didn't get the chance to since he sat next to me and took charge. Since he decided it was his job, I told him about the washer. He was convinced he could tighten it as is. I kept saying use the other washer, but that took another 10 minutes before he finally did.

Sigh.

Otherwise no help. At least we got some free meals this weekend, though.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

p.s. I'm not sure if this is the reason why, but I hate when men decide to take over hard ware/physical work like that without asking me if I even need the help.

If you ask and I say "I'm good, thank you" or don't ask you for help in the first place, I'm fine, I promise. Go away and let me do it. Sheesh. And even then, sometimes I've let someone do it as a favor but I don't like the way they do something because it's not done right or completely right and I wish I just did it myself anyway.

:|

[GreenEarthAl]

One of my housemates likes to spend two to three hours in the bathroom at a time. No idea what she does in there for that long. I think she has a personal hygiene compulsion or something.

[checkyourprez]

p.s. I'm not sure if this is the reason why, but I hate when men decide to take over hard ware/physical work like that without asking me if I even need the help.

If you ask and I say "I'm good, thank you" or don't ask you for help in the first place, I'm fine, I promise. Go away and let me do it. Sheesh. And even then, sometimes I've let someone do it as a favor but I don't like the way they do something because it's not done right or completely right and I wish I just did it myself anyway.

:|


quite down and make me some sandwichs while i do manly work.

[DandyFop]

Yeah when I first moved to LA it seemed like I had visitors every other month. Now it's quieted down a lot, which is too bad cause I love playing hostess, to a point. My awesome gay friend Cory came to stay once though for like over a week and I almost went nuts. Plus, he didn't even really check with me and I had a job and could barely hang out with him.

My friend from SLC is coming for a week at the end of April and it's daunting...she's a uhh..."special spirit" as we say, and a lot to handle. It will be fun but I'm hoping I don't go insane. Also her MOTHER is already calling me and asking me for emergency contact numbers. She's super nuts.