My self esteem has been wicked low lately.

[DipDipDive]

I'm hyper-aware of my appearance and can't see beyond my physical flaws. I'm gripped by paranoia that everyone is analyzing my imperfections to the same degree that I am, my boyfriend in particular. I wish I was a low maintenance girl with the kind of hair and skin that required no effort. But I'm not.

The fact that I'm allowing all of this to consume me makes me feel super shallow.

I want this to stop. How do I make it stop? I feel like throwing up.

:(

[Knuckles]

If it means anything some random, bearded guy on the internet thinks you're totally cute.

[Laserface]

If it means anything some random, bearded guy on the internet thinks you're totally cute.

same here, minus the part about the beard

[DipDipDive]

Well, thanks.

I'm not fishing, promise promise. This shit isn't like me.

I think this is all a symptom of spending too much time with other females. We're a ruthless, vicious breed.

[jabumbo]

keep the part about the beard (y)


but usually throwing up makes things better

[Documad]

Is it at all seasonal? I feel like shit lately because I don't want to go out. I want to go home and hibernate. I need some god damned sun.

[DipDipDive]

Is it at all seasonal? I feel like shit lately because I don't want to go out. I want to go home and hibernate. I need some god damned sun.

I think that's a huge part of it. I'm at that point during the winter when I want to be out doing shit, but nothing seems worth the effort/exposure to the brutal elements. It's supposed to get up to the mid-twenties tomorrow, Doc. WE'RE HAVING A HEATWAVE. Fucking Minnesota.

I've always had seasonal depression issues, but this year it's manifesting itself in the form of massive anxiety. I would be happy to just stay in the house until it gets warmer outside, at which point my skin's natural moisture will restore itself and no one will have to look at my ashy face anymore.

:(

[Dorothy Wood]

sucks dude. are you washing your face at night? if not, you should with some kind of exfoliating stuff. then pile on the night cream.

my mom kinda made me feel bad about my appearance over Christmas...said I looked fatter, said my face needed exfoliating (and she offered the above advice...which works actually, I'm trying to stick to it), waxed my mustache, took me to get a mani/pedi...etc. This is the same woman who said I should put foundation on my eyelids because you can see the veins when I raise my eyelids. :rolleyes: She was in the beauty business for like 20 years though, so I don't think she really means to hurt my feelings, it's just habit for her to try to improve my appearance...uh? yeah.



I'm just now getting over it, but I've been feeling pretty self-conscious. then the other night, the boy made a tiny dinner of veggies and a tiny bit of pasta after I had hardly eaten anything all day (he had eaten more and more often). then I said "I want some chips and salsa!" and he was like "but we just had dinner"...and I was like, "uhh, yeah, but I'm still hungry". and felt like a fat pig butt. so I just ate one chip. probably for the best I guess...but his statement made me feel like crap.

but then last night he was all, "I can't decide what my favorite part of your body is", and that was totally awesome. :o


So yeah, I guess the best defense is to think about the good and try to ignore the bad. Improve what you can, to make yourself feel more comfortable, but accept what you were born with. Maybe do a spa day or something? guh, that sounds so girly...erm, yeah, I dunno. You're gorgeous, baby, you got nothing to worry about. And the earth'll be thawing in no time. (y)

[DipDipDive]

I have problem skin! It's getting worse the older I get. :(

My face is a goddamn wreck. I've tried lots of methods to improve it based on various suggestions from friends, internets, etc. and nothing really works. It fucking sucks and it's completely destroying my confidence.

P.S. I've been told to exfoliate once every couple weeks, tops. Too much exfoliating overdries the skin and spreads bacteria around. Spa days are fun but I can't afford to gets facials and shit like that regularly enough for it to make a difference. They also require that I be in public with no makeup on which is just completely not an option right now.

Mega puke. :(:(

[DipDipDive]

Oh and thanks for the compliment, DW. I wish I could convince myself that your concluding statements were true.

I'm going to stop it for now. Maybe tomorrow will be better?

:(

[Dorothy Wood]

Oh, I'm sorry dear, not being able to control your face skin is the worst. :( Tomorrow will be better!

and seriously, nobody scrutinizes your face as much as you do, so don't stress too much about it. my roommate has trouble with her face skin, and always apologizes to me about "being gross" when she's not wearing her make up, but I don't even notice it. I know it is a constant source of stress for her though, and she has not found anything that works completely. She and her derm keep trying different things, and they'll only work for a month or so.


anyway, people will still like you, even when you think you're a mess. :)

[russhie]

I have problem skin! It's getting worse the older I get. :(

My face is a goddamn wreck. I've tried lots of methods to improve it based on various suggestions from friends, internets, etc. and nothing really works. It fucking sucks and it's completely destroying my confidence.

P.S. I've been told to exfoliate once every couple weeks, tops. Too much exfoliating overdries the skin and spreads bacteria around. Spa days are fun but I can't afford to gets facials and shit like that regularly enough for it to make a difference. They also require that I be in public with no makeup on which is just completely not an option right now.

Mega puke. :(:(


my skin got worse with age instead of better, and nothing worked- i consulted facialists, nutrtionists, doctors and beauticians- the only thing that helped was getting on the pill (thanks, doc!). i take the one that is geared toward fixing problem skin. best thing i ever did, i used to get quite down as i'm very healthy, drink alot of water, work out alot, cleanse/exfoliate/moisturise religiously annnnd get facials every three months. it was disheartening that all that wasn't even enough to stop my skin resembling that of a junkie.

[Helvete]

I used to have confidence issues about the way I looked, and it caused problems. I was never comfortable with the way I looked, my skin, my nose etc, but then I found out that some girls actually like me and they said it didn't matter about any of that. So then I thought 'Fuck it, can't do anything about it, just be comfortable with the way you are'.

It's all a completely mental thing, and that's the first thing that needs to change, not yourself physically. I know not every girl is going to find me attractive, but then what guys do have EVERY girl find them attractive?

[paul jones]

I generally don't give a bees' butthole how I look and maybe that's why I'm single right now but I'm ok with that but it would be nice to have some mad sweaty fuckings every once in a while.I do take care that my hair is not sticking up like Alfalfa or the twat that is Russell Brand though.(y)

[gbsuey]

For starters, ddd you are beautiful. And truly, no-one will scrutinize your skin or any other part that you are stressing about as much as you. Skin, hair, weight, self esteem in general has always been a nightmare for me too....i wish i could go back to the bit of my life inbetween teens and fairly recently when i didn't give so much of a fuck. I'm becoming so much more high maintenance as i've gotten older.

Fucking pore minimizers, yada yada....

I'm sure most girls go through this, some more than others. If your skin really is upsetting you, there will be a way of dealing with it. But try and focus on good things...i know it's easier said than done....somedays i could just stuff my head through the mirror!

[Kid Presentable]

I stalked around DDDs facebook profile when I saw a comment she left on someone else's status. She's a foxy thing, and she has personality for weeks. Of course my history of outrageous claims means that many parts of this statement will be ignored, but tis all true.

[camo]

I know how you feel DDD, my skin is terrible and I'm currently in one of my bad phases where my skin gets dry and cracked and I get a load of spots around my mouth. I also suffer from psoriasis on my arms.

The thing I am most paranoid is my hair (or whats left of it), Everyone says that I suit a shaved head but I get real hair envy with people...especially people who have shite haircuts - I always think what a waste!

People always assume that I where hats to hide it but I've always worn hats and probably always will!

I've only seen one pic of DDD and I thought 'mmmmmm cute'.

[Randetica]

funny, i once wasnt your biggest fan cause you said you are annoyed from getting called 'hot' all the time, i thought you were quite arrogant

now you sound like the total opposite while your old pictures and the newer pictures of you dont show much differences


you been hot and youre still fucking hot, deal with it


i still got quite some acne, i hardly ever wear make up but my skin is still shit
it's dry too
how in the world can you have oily and dry skin at the same time? doesnt even make sense

fuck nature

[gbsuey]

i'm not impressed that i'm dealing with spot breakouts and grey hairs at the same time. surely one's too late and the other too early?? hilarious

[Randetica]

hair art

[Kid Presentable]

I mean, we're all going to die, anyway.

[NicRN77]

I have more acne now in my 30s then I ever did as a teen...go figure.

I have been down in the dumps a bit too...really is seasonal. This too shall pass.

[camo]

I mean, we're all going to die, anyway.
(!)
We all are. Some more horribly than others. Goodnight.

[Kid Presentable]

I kind of like how I look. I wouldn't want to look at some other fuckhead in the mirror, let's put it that way.

[ms.peachy]

I'm going through a bit of feeling old, fat and dumpy myself. Being around all these skinny little Chinese chicks ain't helping much!

[monkey]

For starters, ddd you are beautiful. And truly, no-one will scrutinize your skin or any other part that you are stressing about as much as you. Skin, hair, weight, self esteem in general has always been a nightmare for me too....i wish i could go back to the bit of my life inbetween teens and fairly recently when i didn't give so much of a fuck. I'm becoming so much more high maintenance as i've gotten older.

Fucking pore minimizers, yada yada....

I'm sure most girls go through this, some more than others. If your skin really is upsetting you, there will be a way of dealing with it. But try and focus on good things...i know it's easier said than done....somedays i could just stuff my head through the mirror!

i wanted to mostly say this. also, not that this may help you, but for me, it helps to take a liquid vitamin b complex when i'm down. for some reason, if i have a bit more energy and bit more pep, i'm less likely to feel like a butt and be negative towards myself. AND, try not wearing make up for a while, your skin might actually be reacting to the makeup you're wearing, no matter how non-comedogenic it may claim to be. i don't think anyone is going to scrutinize your face the way you do, and im sure most people wouldn't even notice a bit of problem skin, nor will they run away screaming if they see a bit of dryness or a couple of zits. or at least, i hope so, cause that's what i'm working with at the moment.

i only had nice skin for about half a year at some point in my early 20's. otherwise, it's always been gross.

[gbsuey]

I'm going through a bit of feeling old, fat and dumpy myself. Being around all these skinny little Chinese chicks ain't helping much!

i had the exact same feeling whilst in Singapore, also it's so hot and humid there that i had super frizz hair constantly, shiny sweaty old face and just even wearing the tiniest little dress was too hot. then all the asian girls were looking all glamorous and not sweaty in jeans and shit......completely demoralising!!

was remembering earlier when i was living in Greece and my friend came out to stay with me. she wouldn't stop piling on the make up because she felt so hideous without it, but i kept trying to tell her she didn't need it and the sun would be so good for hre skin anyway, but she was having none of it. i can see where she was coming from now as i hate to go out without it now, but at the time i was happy wearing none at all. i think the point i'm trying to make is you won't look as bad as you think without it! Do you wear a proper foundation , could you just use a tinted moisturiser if that would make you feel a bit better?

[NicRN77]

if any of you are prone to breakouts I highly recommend this mask (http://www.ddfskincare.com/p-41-ddf-sulfur-therapeutic-masktrade-4-oz.aspx). Also works well as a spot treatment. I had a huge zit on Sunday...it was completely gone by yesterday.

[hpdrifter]

Honey honey honey.

I am going to step out on a limb here and say I think this has nothing to do with the weather or your skin (and especially not hanging out with other girls, sheesh).

This happens to all of us when we fall in love. You're in the first phases of mad passionate with this new guy and it's screwing with your head. You feel vulnerable and scared and probably think he's the super coolest thing since the chia pet and why oh why does such a slammin' hot, amazing, every-little-thing-he-does-magic man want to be with you?

Totally normal and will totally pass.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I'm going through a bit of feeling old, fat and dumpy myself. Being around all these skinny little Chinese chicks ain't helping much!

oh my goooood I feel this every time I go to japantown in SF. They are beautiful, and TINY. And here I am with my big hips and large ass and I never want to eat anything ever again after a visit there.

Once I leave though I'm not as overly self conscious and paranoid.

And DDD, I agree with hp and I think it will pass. Just keep reminding yourself that you are kick ass AND are beautiful.

What are some things that you do be it hobbies or activities or anything really that make you feel pretty damned kick ass? Even if it's just a sense of personal accomplishment that you get it will help your confidence and probably help melt away some of the insecurity you are feeling.

[na§tee]

This happens to all of us when we fall in love. You're in the first phases of mad passionate with this new guy and it's screwing with your head. You feel vulnerable and scared and probably think he's the super coolest thing since the chia pet and why oh why does such a slammin' hot, amazing, every-little-thing-he-does-magic man want to be with you?
oh so true. i'm feeling it as well with the manfriend. the constant darkness isn't helping with my mood.

you're a total hottie triple dee and your boyfriend obviously thinks so too. get thee to a spa or something just for a half a day or do something that will make you feel even a tiny bit better.. cups of chai, baths and books do it for me when i'm feeling huge and meh.

[Helvete]

Who wants some of my awesomeness? There is lots to go around.

[Guy Incognito]

i had a mole type thing just above my eye which i was really conscious about so much so i refused to get contacts and then i had the opportuntiy to get it removed and i did but more people have noticed the scar in over a year than the times that anyone ever noticed the actual mole. I guess the moral of that tale is dont worry about little flaws, they make you what you are.

[Ty Webb]

once i punched myself in the eye to see if i could get a black eye and it totally worked awesome.

[Echewta]

Fried chickens have worse skin :(

[saz]

I used to have confidence issues about the way I looked, I was never comfortable with the way I looked,

It's all a completely mental thing, and that's the first thing that needs to change, not yourself physically.

i had similar issues 9-10 years ago but it was a physical thing, not mental, so i started working out and didn't stop, and those issues are now nothing more than a mere distant memory.

and yeah ddd is hot

[Helvete]

Short of plastic surgery, there was not much I could do about the things that made me feel uncomfortable with myself. It was just a case of realising that I didn't need to feel that way and be confident with myself. That helps, a lot.

[DipDipDive]

Thanks for the nice words, everyone.

Yesterday, as it turns out, was not better. And neither was today. Truth be told, I'm in pretty rough shape and I feel like I might be going a bit crazy. :(

I think the new relationship theory is true. I'm petrified of the idea of losing this boy and I'm scrutinizing every possible reason that he might not want to be with me, including the way I look.

I wish I could take a month-long break from everything...work, phone calls, socializing, all of it. I don't want to deal with anyone until this passes. I'm fucking things up with the people I care about. I can't make sense of anything. I don't know what's happening to me. :(

[mickill]

Have you tried taking vitamin e supplements? You might want to consider directly applying vitamin e oil to the really dry areas, as well. You've more than likely thought of this already, anyway.

Anyhow, I've been with the same person for about 14 years now, feel confident that there's very little chance of her "losing interest" in me at this point, and I STILL feel self conscious about my appearance when I'm around her. I figure a certain degree of that is healthy for relationships, but I think you need to relax a little here. It's very likely that your boyfriend is interested in more than just your face. Guys also like hooters.

[ms.peachy]

Guys also like hooters.

Yes, here is the one very distinct advantage I have over all of those Chinese birds.

Being a tall woman with big knockers, you know, I've lived here for almost 9 months now ( ! ) and to this day I am not sure that any Chinese man has ever actually seen my face.

[mickill]

Yes, here is the one very distinct advantage I have over all of those Chinese birds.

Being a tall woman with big knockers....

Sorry, I didn't catch the rest of what you were saying. But I agree.

[Dorothy Wood]

DDD, perchance are you PMSing?

I know sometimes when I feel inexplicably awful about everything, I realize that I'm due for a period. It doesn't take the emotions away, but it helps a bit to know they're because of hormones and not because I'm a complete nutcase.

and again, dude likes you already, and if he's a good boy whose heart is true, he won't stop liking you for anything physical. unless you start to get real real fat. like, really fat. even then, he'd probably still like you.

a month or so into my relationship, I had the nastiest cold sores ever. two of them! one on the top lip, one on the bottom. (I still have a scar from the bottom one, it sucks). and boy was like, "yep, they're pretty disgusting, I'm just gonna go ahead and look at your eyes instead". he waited patiently for them to heal. he wasn't like, "gross! see ya!" or anything.


people's bodies are gross, they do weird things. mature and realistic people know that. and you want to be dating a mature and realistic person anyway.

[cosmo105]

I go through regular bouts of "oh man I totally don't deserve this awesome dude and he could so easily do better and I'm the lamest girlfriend ever and why does he even put up with me and who could love handles like these and my hair is stupid and he's totally settling for me." And then I realize what a retard I'm being and get over my shit. I'm awesome! He's a lucky fucker! (And so am I, of course.) It's normal, m'dear. Stop dwelling on it and worrying about it and it won't be so bad.