Big Gus
01-16-2010, 09:08 PM
So, in an effort to finally force myself to go through the whole gettingmyhaircut thing, I booked the day off work. My thinking being that if the only reason I've used up my holiday hours was to get this one thing done, then I'll hate myself if I subsequently just waste those holiday hours by doing what I normally do on days that I plan to cut my hair (ie. shit all).
Spent the morning psyching myself up, feeling pretty nervous. Told myself that I'd walk into town at noon, no later. And I did! I was practically dragging myself out of the door.. but still. I went ahead and did the deed. Yay me.
Twenty minutes later, I was sat in the waiting area of the hairdresser place waiting to be ushered to a chair and I couldn't help but notice this one girl working in there who was stunningly, captivatingly cute. Wearing these pretty little shoes and a flowery summer dress, all smiles and twinkly eyes and walking around with this charming little skip in her step. "Jesus" I thought to myself, "I reeeally hope she's not the one who'll end up cutting my hair."
So naturally, a few minutes later, I'm sat there in the barbers chair with Summer Dress Girl standing behind me asking me what I want doing.
I'm socially incapable at the best of times anyway, but right there and then - faced with my regular old Haircut Situation Anxiety coupled with an intense case of Attractive Female Induced Shyness - I was pretty much then resigned to just making barely cohesive sentence-shaped mumbles. Eventually, bless her, she managed to decipher what it was that I was trying to ask for haircut-wise and she diligently got to work chopping away at my mop.
Then disaster struck. A metaphorical megaton bomb of awkwardness dropped squarely on proceedings.
I was sat with my hands on the arms of the barber chair, with the drapey cloak thing over the front of me. Summer Dress Girl came around to the front, on my left, to sort the fringe out and so I'm therefore concentrating on controlling where I'm looking. Or to be more precise, where I'm not looking. Let me get this straight, I don't consider myself in anyway pervy or lecherous, quite the contrary. But, that said, I am a lonely single male and this girl was breathtakingly attractive in a very natural way and she was wearing a cute dress that was moderately low cut and her bosom was nothing if not shapely and all of that's going on just a few inches to the left of my centre of vision.
So yeah, I'm sat there with my hands underneath the drape on the arms of the chair, busy concentrating on controlling where I'm (not) looking.
At that moment, she leant right in. Leant right in, as in, actually physically leans herself against the corner of the arm of the chair. Pressed her.. intimate area right up against the corner of the arm of the chair. Right where my goddam hand is resting over. She's not actually touching the arm of the chair at all. She's leaning up against nothing except for my fingers. Pressing a specific part of her body upon my hand that my hand has absolutely no place in this universe going anywhere near.
It all happened so fast, all I could do was tense up, my eyes opening wide. She was still pressing her groin up against me and there was NO WAY I could move it. Not with that much pressure against the fingers, that would have constituted a certain rubbing action as I removed my hand, which my brain was not allowing in any way, nu-uh, not a chance. So my hand stayed where it was, completely frozen in place. Literally pinned there by Summer Dress Girl's pudendum. All the while she seemed oblivious to what had happened, she obviously just thought it was the arm of the chair.
And so.... I yelped. I sort of made a warbly, kind of high-pitched "Uuuhhhh..!" sound and looked her in the eyes. She paused the fringe trimming and asked "Anything wrong?", pulling back from the 'arm of the chair' slightly but not by much. My hand was still trapped in its terrible awkward disconcertingly warm limbo.
I just blurted out "Can I have my hand back please??" and nodded down towards her crotch / my hand.
She gazed down with a puzzled look on her face, took a step back at which point I WHIPPED my hand back into my lap, relief and horror bubbling up in equal measure within me. It's at that point that Summer Dress Girl realised what she had been leaning up against for the past.. shit I don't know, 3 or 4 seconds. "Oh shit!" she said, laughing and putting her hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry!!" I replied, not laughing and lifting the offending hand up to show her the offending article. Why did I show her my hand? I HAVE NO IDEA.
Ugh.
Anyway, she laughed a bit more and apologised and I then tried to explain why I hadn't moved my hand straight away and holyfuckingshit that was a bad idea. She laughed some more and it was awkward and horrible and it took another fifteen minutes or so after that for the haircut to be completed, during which time she became way more talkative, probably to try and quell the Fog Of Awkward Embarrassment that had descended. I was trying to chat back but daaaamn, it's a difficult enough task on a good day, but given the circumstances all I wanted to do was run.
Finally Summer Dress Girl finished the hairchop. And... it was kinda shit. She'd left it a couple of inches longer than I'd asked for and it was a bit neat and foppish, but there was NO WAY I was going to say anything to her other than a hurried "Yeah, that's perfect, thanks so much, miles better, thanks, yeah, how much do I owe you, thanks!"
So yeah. That has been my awesome afternoon so far! I'm now sat at home enjoying the novelty of having 90% less hair on my head but otherwise feeling generally mortified and confused.
Spent the morning psyching myself up, feeling pretty nervous. Told myself that I'd walk into town at noon, no later. And I did! I was practically dragging myself out of the door.. but still. I went ahead and did the deed. Yay me.
Twenty minutes later, I was sat in the waiting area of the hairdresser place waiting to be ushered to a chair and I couldn't help but notice this one girl working in there who was stunningly, captivatingly cute. Wearing these pretty little shoes and a flowery summer dress, all smiles and twinkly eyes and walking around with this charming little skip in her step. "Jesus" I thought to myself, "I reeeally hope she's not the one who'll end up cutting my hair."
So naturally, a few minutes later, I'm sat there in the barbers chair with Summer Dress Girl standing behind me asking me what I want doing.
I'm socially incapable at the best of times anyway, but right there and then - faced with my regular old Haircut Situation Anxiety coupled with an intense case of Attractive Female Induced Shyness - I was pretty much then resigned to just making barely cohesive sentence-shaped mumbles. Eventually, bless her, she managed to decipher what it was that I was trying to ask for haircut-wise and she diligently got to work chopping away at my mop.
Then disaster struck. A metaphorical megaton bomb of awkwardness dropped squarely on proceedings.
I was sat with my hands on the arms of the barber chair, with the drapey cloak thing over the front of me. Summer Dress Girl came around to the front, on my left, to sort the fringe out and so I'm therefore concentrating on controlling where I'm looking. Or to be more precise, where I'm not looking. Let me get this straight, I don't consider myself in anyway pervy or lecherous, quite the contrary. But, that said, I am a lonely single male and this girl was breathtakingly attractive in a very natural way and she was wearing a cute dress that was moderately low cut and her bosom was nothing if not shapely and all of that's going on just a few inches to the left of my centre of vision.
So yeah, I'm sat there with my hands underneath the drape on the arms of the chair, busy concentrating on controlling where I'm (not) looking.
At that moment, she leant right in. Leant right in, as in, actually physically leans herself against the corner of the arm of the chair. Pressed her.. intimate area right up against the corner of the arm of the chair. Right where my goddam hand is resting over. She's not actually touching the arm of the chair at all. She's leaning up against nothing except for my fingers. Pressing a specific part of her body upon my hand that my hand has absolutely no place in this universe going anywhere near.
It all happened so fast, all I could do was tense up, my eyes opening wide. She was still pressing her groin up against me and there was NO WAY I could move it. Not with that much pressure against the fingers, that would have constituted a certain rubbing action as I removed my hand, which my brain was not allowing in any way, nu-uh, not a chance. So my hand stayed where it was, completely frozen in place. Literally pinned there by Summer Dress Girl's pudendum. All the while she seemed oblivious to what had happened, she obviously just thought it was the arm of the chair.
And so.... I yelped. I sort of made a warbly, kind of high-pitched "Uuuhhhh..!" sound and looked her in the eyes. She paused the fringe trimming and asked "Anything wrong?", pulling back from the 'arm of the chair' slightly but not by much. My hand was still trapped in its terrible awkward disconcertingly warm limbo.
I just blurted out "Can I have my hand back please??" and nodded down towards her crotch / my hand.
She gazed down with a puzzled look on her face, took a step back at which point I WHIPPED my hand back into my lap, relief and horror bubbling up in equal measure within me. It's at that point that Summer Dress Girl realised what she had been leaning up against for the past.. shit I don't know, 3 or 4 seconds. "Oh shit!" she said, laughing and putting her hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry!!" I replied, not laughing and lifting the offending hand up to show her the offending article. Why did I show her my hand? I HAVE NO IDEA.
Ugh.
Anyway, she laughed a bit more and apologised and I then tried to explain why I hadn't moved my hand straight away and holyfuckingshit that was a bad idea. She laughed some more and it was awkward and horrible and it took another fifteen minutes or so after that for the haircut to be completed, during which time she became way more talkative, probably to try and quell the Fog Of Awkward Embarrassment that had descended. I was trying to chat back but daaaamn, it's a difficult enough task on a good day, but given the circumstances all I wanted to do was run.
Finally Summer Dress Girl finished the hairchop. And... it was kinda shit. She'd left it a couple of inches longer than I'd asked for and it was a bit neat and foppish, but there was NO WAY I was going to say anything to her other than a hurried "Yeah, that's perfect, thanks so much, miles better, thanks, yeah, how much do I owe you, thanks!"
So yeah. That has been my awesome afternoon so far! I'm now sat at home enjoying the novelty of having 90% less hair on my head but otherwise feeling generally mortified and confused.