So, ladies

[faz]

How do you feel when a guy friend tells you he likes you even though you don't have the same feelings for him? And if the guy is pretty confident you won't feel the same way? And if you recently moved back to uni?

I'm not the kind of person to post this high school romance stuff online, but I'm also not the kind of person who has ever had the high school romance stuff happening

[hpdrifter]

I'm not really following.

Anyway, if a guy I had a good friendship with told me he was into me but I wasn't into him it would probably make me feel awkward and not as comfortable around him.

[faz]

Anyway, if a guy I had a good friendship with told me he was into me but I wasn't into him it would probably make me feel awkward and not as comfortable around him.

Yeah, thats sort of the reaction I'd be expecting :\

[Randetica]

never happened to me

[Burnout18]

never happened to me

i like you as more than just a friend.

[Dorothy Wood]

ooohoohhh^



yeah, I dunno, never happened to me. but it happened to a friend of mine and it was very awkward. I say keep it to yourself if you're sure she won't reciprocate romantic feelings.


maybe once in a blue moon something good would come of it though...I asked my current boyfriend to make out with me once back when we were friends, and he declined, wanted to preserve the friendship. but then it kinda put an idea in his head, and 3 months later, he was on the phone confessing he had developed a crush on me. then, voila, we got together and 5 months later we're still going strong.

buttt, I would say that is extremely rare. I think letting a girl know that you are attracted to her is enough to signal that you might be interested. professing any sort of hidden love is too much and would be scary for anyone to hear when they're not expecting it.

[TurdBerglar]

do it

tell her


what do you have to lose. it's just a girl.

[Adam]

I know I am not a lady (weekends only) but 10 years ago I would been over analysing it all the time and making threads, crying into my beer etc but now - just go for it. If she says no then shake it off and reply something like "thats cool, but I had to ask y'know". Offer to buy her a drink and never mention it again unless it crops up from her.

That is what I kinda do now if I find myself in such a situation and most people are cool with it, if they ain't then they'll avoid you but see it as there loss and you're good (y)

[Laserface]

do it

tell her


what do you have to lose. it's just a girl.

yup

[NicRN77]

When I was in high school a friend of mine had this huge crush on me. He tried to make a few moves...but I just wasn't feeling it. It was awkward at first, but I got over it. I think he realized our friendship was more important in the end.

[russhie]

It really depends on the two people involved, I guess.

I've had it happen more than a few times, and the more it happens the more irritated I get with the whole thing - I like having guy friends, and I want guys to think I'm fun and hot and smart without wanting to touch my boobs. Though they are very nice.

If a friend wanted to tell me they liked me - I'd prefer they just told me "these are my feelings not sure what this will do to our friendship but hey I couldn't not say anything." But not in a let's-sit-down-and-have-a-serious-discussion way. More like...you're having a laugh and you say she looks nice when she laughs (I mean, if she does, you don't want to lie) and she says whatever and then you can be all, 'nah I'm serious, you're a top bird blah blah blah...' type scenario.

Don't tell her she's the girl of your dreams, don't whine at her, don't yell and pout when you don't get your way, don't pretend that it didn't matter when she turns you down, and for gods sake don't remove your pants and refuse to leave her premises then lie to her about having cancer. Or quote Mandy Moore. Just be cool about it. If there's no pressure, she'll appreciate what might be a horribly awkward moment not being so awkward.

[trailerprincess]

This is a current storyline on The Archers (Jez and Fallon)
Coincidence or not?!

[Kid Presentable]

If you never fuck the woman, you're not any more likely to have a profound, deep, lifelong friendship with her. Roll the dice. She'll be out of your life now or later, right?

[Randetica]

i like you as more than just a friend.

proof it

shit into my shitter!

[Ghouls_Night]

Tell her. Never hold that kind of stuff back.

[Echewta]

The next girl I fancy, I'm going to tell her she's a "top bird." I wonder what an American woman would say to that?

[hpdrifter]

...depends

are you going to do the accent?

[Echewta]

I don't think so. I have to be natural. I don't think it will go over well either because my teeth are beautiful and straight.

[Guy Incognito]

faz, this is a massive cliche but its better to regret something you have done than regret something you havent done.

[faz]

Thanks for the advice.

The problem is that she is SUCH a lovely girl. So guys like me can sometimes take this the wrong way. I just wrote out a few things that had happened between us, that gives me some more credibility and makes me seem less like a loser/pest, but it felt weird posting it online so I decided against it.

[DandyFop]

It's really hard to say without knowing her. Personally, I've had a friend tell me they liked me...and it turned everything kinda weird. I considered it for a little bit but I realized it just wouldn't work. And I think that was really hard on him. We're still friends but it's strange in that I am pretty sure he'll always like me so I don't like talking to him about other guys and stuff like that.

I have also DONE this to a guy and it turned out okay. I kinda more just said "hey we're just friends right?". But I'm still totally in love with the dude even though that's all water under the bridge.

I guess the point, for me, is, she probably knows if you like her. And if she hasn't acted on that or seemed like she's into it...she's probably not. If all you are doing is looking to get it off your chest, then I would go for it, but if you're hoping that she's going to reciprocate...well, that's a pretty big mazza ball hanging out there.

[Bob]

i wouldn't do it, but when it comes to women you generally don't want to do the things i do (because i don't do much)

basically what i'm saying is you should do it, even though i don't think you should

[checkyourprez]

bang him. its the ONLY way to find out.

[gbsuey]

This happened so many times it started to really upset me...sometimes i knew and would just ignore it and if it never got mentioned it was ok, sometimes it was a total surprise and it made me feel awkward. One of my best friends kind of surprised me, i always thought we were ok in that respect and one evening he said he needed to talk and i just knew what he was gonna tell me so i just didn't turn up, couldn't cope with it. Some friends are just too special, BUT, who knows, he could have made me the happiest girl on earth!

Sounds a bit like you know how it might go if you 'fess up to liking her in that way.....but it could also go your way. Sorry, not much help, i'm all for just going for it but having been on the other side of it, i'd say be cautious.

[faz]

I kind of want to tell her, just to get the stress out of my mind. But if it results in any stress for her then I wont. :\

Edit: I just re-read that. I can probably used a less extreme than "stress"

[cosmo105]

If you KNOW she won't reciprocate, ehhh...

it really does depend on how you feel about the friendship. I once dated a very close friend (as a rebound, I hate to say) that turned out to have much deeper feelings for me than I had for him. It totally ruined the friendship - but that was more because he went nuts when I put a stop to it and refused to try to be friends again after. I realized then that the friendship was BASED on the fact that he wanted to bone me the whole time. Sucky. So, if you genuinely want to be friends with this person for a long time and feel that you can get over these feelings/not care if they're ever realized, then I don't know if it'd be wise to say anything. I've been on both sides of friendships where one felt something and never said anything about it, and eventually it sort of washed over and things never got weird.

So, yeah. If the friendship is worth preserving, I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it. If you HAVE to say it, or else you feel you'll regret it forever, then go for it. Keep in mind there are PLENTY of women out there that you're not friends with yet that would probably be more than compatible with you. In my experience, if it hasn't happened yet, it probably won't - and when you meet someone that's right, that person will know too.

[Burnout18]

proof it

shit into my shitter!

ewwww, i take it back!