My life in clichés

[mickill]

I have:

The wife that nags me to tend to the things around the house that need fixing

The daughter who tells on me if I snack in between meals, unless I cut her in

The embarrassing dad that tries to negotiate better deals on my behalf, and fails

The pain in the ass mother-in-law whom I have come dangerously close to having rubbed out

The dentist who asks me questions that require more than a simple yes or no reply while checking my teeth

The neighbor who tells me to feel free to wash his car or mow his lawn when I'm done with mine

The dog that totally loses his shit every time the mail carrier is in the neighborhood

The proverbial childlike, carefree younger sibling continually needing to be bailed out of situations

and

The family cat/personal nemesis who won't stop with her incessant infant having an orgasm-style of meowing, even as I'm pouring the food into her dish since nobody else seems to feel obligated to feed her, that won't die already, even 15 years after I ill-advisedly purchased her for 5 dollars as a surprise for my future spouse during the courting stage of our relationship, despite hating cats, because I figured 'hey, cats usually don't live that long anyway' so whatever

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Is it wrong that I think all of this is kind of cute, though?

[Guy Incognito]

there is nothing here thats worth moping about. It sounds like you have a very nice life mike. are you bored or summat? You shouldnt be, it sounds like you are very settled and you make it sound like Everybody loves raymond tbh

[jabumbo]

how does an infant have an orgasm?

[yeahwho]

Somehow this thread has gone very wrong.

Is that a BBMB cliche?

[Documad]

Is it wrong that I think all of this is kind of cute, though?

It's adorable. Especially the daughter who blackmails him.

[ms.peachy]

It's adorable. Especially the daughter who blackmails him.

Yeah, it's cute when it's someone else's kid. When it's your own one ratting you out, it's a royal P.i.t.A.

[Lyman Zerga]

sounds like you stole those lines out of a family tv show, those that make everyone think 'wish i had their problems!'

[saz]

your life is a sit-com

marriage + children = life without the possibility of parole for at least 20 years

[mickill]

Somehow this thread has gone very wrong.

Is that a BBMB cliche?

Maaaaybe. I was kinda thinking people could chime in with a couple of their own....you know....clichés in their lives. I dunno.

Wasn't really venting or anything. Except for the mother-in-law. And that fucking cat.

[cosmo105]

I was trying to think of my own clichés and it's kind of hard for my situation. Except for the apartment with thin walls and neighbors that fight with loud foreign accents.

[Dorothy Wood]

my life is a lot less cliched now than it was 2-5 years ago. Now I live my life like a regular Cousin Larry.

I do have a musician boyfriend who wears black-rimmed glasses, plaid shirts sometimes and has a beard though. and I am currently uploading a giant Valentine's Day mix he made me filled with obscure-ish bands he thought I might like. :o

[hpdrifter]

I have the mother who is so desperate for a grandchild that she's told me to "just get pregnant". Ha, if she only knew how far she is from that now.

I have the boss who nitpicks at me like she's my mother.

The other ones are just too depressing to contemplate.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I don't know if these work but:

Parents on both sides trying to egg us on to have a child when they know we aren't interested in having our own. And on his side they already have two grandchildren.

Our good friends Mom asking if we are certain we aren't interested in having our own children after seeing a photo of me holding a newborn baby. I didn't ask to hold the baby, I was forced. I'm scared of dropping them and what she actually saw on my face is a look of "yay pretend to be happy even though you are scared shitless right now". :(

His entire family asking us constantly when we are going to get married.

Me searching for crock pot recipes and my new found interest in planting flowers.

[Myu-to]

I teach 2nd grade in a predominantly black(80%)urban elementary. I am the only white staff member, and needless to say my life is very cliche at the moment.:D

[paul jones]

I have a nifty new Warriors T Shirt that came in the mail

[Myu-to]

^AWESOME!

I teach 2nd grade in a predominantly black(80%)urban elementary. I am the only white staff member, and needless to say my life is very cliche at the moment.:D

Case in point, yesterday was our principal's birthday, and it known by most of the staff that I can sing rather well, so when some fellow teachers asked me to be a part of his birthday celebration, I was honored. The song they chose for me to perform was "Play That Funky Music White Boy.":rolleyes:

Hey Mike, great thread, and if could develop a catch phrase, I think you've a hit TV show that ABC might be interested in.