Workplace ageism

[Freebasser]

Anybody else have a problem with this?

I work with five other people, three of whom are below me in the pecking order; and of those three, two of them are around 10 years older than me (Wooooah, lots of numbers there).

One of them doesn't have a problem with this, but the other one will constantly be arsey with me when I (always politely) ask them the status of their workload, etc. I've had comments such as 'You have no right to talk to me that way, when I'm so much older than you' (the offending question was 'What jobs have you got to get finished before end of play today?') and 'Hah. Were you even alive then?' when anything pre-1980s comes into discussion.

Up until recently this person was friendly towards me as we shared similar interests and so on. Now we barely speak and when we do it's like I'm treading on eggshells. They've gained more confidence in the job as they've been here over time (they wouldn't say boo to a goose when they started), and as this confidence has grown the animosity towards me has too.

The most annoying thing is that when I confront them about it, they laugh it off and say 'Oh, I'm just having a bad week - I didn't mean to take it out on you, sorry' but the same thing comes around again every few months where I have to confront them, always to get the same bullshit 'sorries'. Everybody has shit to contend with outside of work, but you don't see me being a moody twat because of it. I have been frank with them and said how I don't even want to be in the position of telling people what to do, let alone people 10 years older. I am not a bad superior. I am helpful and supportive, and never lose it with anyone. What more can I do?

This is all going to come to a head in the next fortnight too, as my superior is on holiday and I'm going to be left to run the team. Great! (n)

[/VENT]

[paul jones]

I talk to everyone the same way regardless of age.

If you get any shit from older people in future you should just ignore them because they are bitter at not being younger and can't get an erection like they used to.

[Freebasser]

Cheers, Paul. If I had 5 Paul Joneses to work with, I'd have a far happier time in the office.

At least one of you would need to have tits though (y)

[Dorothy Wood]

everyone I work with is around the same age, late 20's/early 30's.

I am younger than some of the people I manage, so I feel a little weird giving out tasks...but everyone takes it fairly well.


It seems like the kind of problem that has very few solutions. sorry man. I guess all you can do is continue to be fair and get the job done.

[Dusty Brain]

i'm mostly pissed off about older people who are first in line for a promotion because of their age. Being older doesn't even necessarily indicate experience nevermind competence.

As far as your beef is concerned...just make sure you are a jerk to everyone, regardless of age...it's worked for me.

[JimmyTheScumbag]

I've had comments such as 'You have no right to talk to me that way, when I'm so much older than you'



Assuming you have a higher level of education than this bitter, jealous old bastard I would casually respond with something like this:

You know, when I was earning my degree I took a psychology class and learned that quite often people attempt to hide their true feelings in jokes. Is there anything that is bothering you? My age seems to be something you like to jest about quite often.

Or you can just hide a bunch of frozen shrimp in the ceiling panels above his desk and let them shits ripen.

[paul jones]

Cheers, Paul. If I had 5 Paul Joneses to work with, I'd have a far happier time in the office.

At least one of you would need to have tits though (y)

only if you promise to take the PJ with tits to an owl sanctury on valentines day(y)

[Guy Incognito]

i am one of the older ones in our dept but i dont make it an issue. I never mind about asking them for help and join in with the banter. Get called old man a bit or the other day i got asked what is was like being five watching england lift the world cup (i'm 36!). if i got pissed off at someone younger telling me what to do it would be becuase they werent my boss, i'd be pissed if someone older wasnt my boss started shouting the odds. but thats never really happened
i may have said stuff like "you havent heard of..?" but thats just because i dont realise how old i am!
although one 21 year old hadnt even heard of the berlin wall which was sort of understandable but still a bit shocking to me.

[hpdrifter]

I have had this problem with two of my direct reports. It's like they don't respect me as an authority because I am so much younger than them. There was one incident when I actually involved HR because the behavior was so inappropriate.

The only way I have found to get around it is to be confident in your role and don't buy into their neuroses. It was a difficult thing for me to learn to feel confident in my own leadership skills and really demonstrate that attitude. Your own sense of self will tell them how to deal with you.

[cosmo105]

I work with someone about 20 years my senior, and he is my superior in one of my workplaces (complicated story, separate facilities but the same company altogether) and I have a lot more pull and responsibility in the other. I sort of got hired/promoted around him (not necessarily over, though) at the latter facility and am working less and less at the one where he is my superior. He is suuuuuper passive-aggressive and spiteful and lately our exchanges have become downright hostile. It's frustrating. I'm always very professional and kind, and he's just a big fucking baby. I've learned to imagine his face is one giant talking asshole so I just laugh it off when he micromanages me or says something just to argue or insinuate that I'm wrong and he's right. A big, talking anus. Makes it a lot easier to be the bigger person and let it roll off my back.

Like hp just said, it helps that I'm confident in my role and am much more professional and an all around better employee at the bigger facility where I have more responsibility. I know it's noticed.

[Adam]

I haven't had a job where I've been in-charge of anyone or had any sort of responsibility for about 5 years - but did have the age thing when I did. I much prefer it now - my friends and family tell me to stop taking jobs beneath me but, at least I have no worries (y)

additional: sometimes I think maybe I should get more of my isht together and do something but all I really want to do is be self employed again. And now I know what not to do - smoke pot and play video games all the time.

Sorry, kinda off subject there but I do get the ageism thing, people are just bitter.

[yeahwho]

I can tolerate most everything to the point of not being safe. If harassment goes beyond someones comfort level I sense it and take appropriate action with the situation, basically I am a smartass and everybody knows this at work, but I also am completely competent, cautious and extremely safe.

If a guy has a hard time with an assigned job I tell them to talk to me and I will show them how to do it, but it isn't my job, I don't have time to do their job and my job. Whoever is not turning in quality work I let them know and tell them to do it right and not to bitch. I've done that job thoroughly at least a few hundred times before without bitching... but it isn't my job anymore it theirs and I don't want to hear it. I gave my boss the decency of doing a quality job without ever bitching, please return the favor. Do it right every time and the good times will flow on my crew. Guaranteed.

One more thing I do is try and keep talk about other employees who are not there out of the conversation. The poisoning of character of a fellow employee is not tolerated on my watch... if you have concerns or good news great, but I'm not going to spend all day bitching about somebody elses work. We have our own productivity to worry about.

Fuck that was overlong, I have had very few (none that have made it to HR) problems at work, the worst thing that can happen to somebody who works with me is if they make me do their job. At that point whoever didn't pull their weight knows it's time to move on. I have my own fucking job. That has only happened once and I tell everyone I work with it's a beautiful deal if you do the work.

And it has been beautiful for several years.

[Guy Incognito]

having been a manager and deciding to not be anymore, i did think it would be hard being under younger people after managing but i have had no trouble with the age thing. I have liked and/or respected their ability so i have just got on with it

[Nuzzolese]

How did you end up dealing with this problem?

[Bob]

when i was in high school i worked at an amusement park, which was a popular place for young people to work as a summer job, since it was only open in the summer. and halloween. that's not important. it was overwhelmingly young people working there, but here and there were a few old people, who i guess were deemed to have aged too uselessly to be employed anywhere better, and they were almost always at the bottom of the totem pole, so it's these poor older people who had to suffer the indignity of working at an amusement park for a little over minimum wage and on top of that being bossed around by a teenager

we had this one guy who had what i'm assuming was a tumor on top of his head, and it was really gross which was awkward because he served food and was visible to customers all the time. he wore a diaper and smoked in the bathrooms, which was nuts because we had a place even closer where people were allowed to smoke their lungs out and why do you need a diaper anyway if you're just going to be in the bathroom smoking all the time?


anyway he was never a problem so i can't give you any advice, i just wanted to talk about myself

[Helvete]

I hope he learnt to wind his bloody young neck in!

[Freebasser]

How did you end up dealing with this problem?

They were let go.