cats and dogs, living together!

[Dorothy Wood]

oh dear, note to everyone, don't talk about cohabitating with your boyfriend when you're tipsy and also PMSing.

I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of May, and have to figure out where to live. In my opinion, it would be terrific to live with my boyfriend. We could get a cheap and awesome 1 bedroom or a cheap and mostly awesome 2 bedroom. but he's not ready, and I'm not sure if I am either.

So, after much crying and weirdness on my part, we decided that it would be a good compromise for me to rent a studio apartment in his building. ha. I haven't seen it, but it's below his apartment and has glass block windows (yuck).

but the more I think about it, the more it seems kinda awesome. like, instead of a man cave, I could have a girl fort!


Anyway, I'm a little worried that I'm the only one making compromises here. But that's what women do, right? ugh.

[b i o n i c]

if you're living above/below each other to keep from having a place together, do you still stay there if you break up? who moves? whats the benefit of living right next to each other vs living together?

[hpdrifter]

Well, I used to think that too but after having lived with a couple of man friends I think it is useful to have your own space. I guess I don't see the point of being in his building, especially if you don't really like the design. Is there a quaint building nearby that you do like?

[b i o n i c]

being in the hood i think would allow for a little change of scenery once in a while

[Dorothy Wood]

if you're living above/below each other to keep from having a place together, do you still stay there if you break up? who moves? whats the benefit of living right next to each other vs living together?

I'd move, I don't really want to live in a studio. Well, the way the apartment is situated, it has either no neighbor or a buffer of two stairwells. And it's street level. We could have bands play there maybe, or have art shows. I'd pretty much be living upstairs with him, but have most of my stuff and free reign over everything downstairs.


Well, I used to think that too but after having lived with a couple of man friends I think it is useful to have your own space. I guess I don't see the point of being in his building, especially if you don't really like the design. Is there a quaint building nearby that you do like?

I haven't seen the apartment, just the outside. I'll definitely look for something else if it isn't acceptable. It's just kind of...hmm...annoying? that we can't just get a place together because there are so many damn awesome apartments in his neighborhood that are dirt cheap for two people to live in.

but it's too soon...too soon.

[Echewta]

Girl fort would be pretty awesome. You could burn nice smelling incense on top of the ramparts to keep away foes.

[Adam]

whats minimum lease, 6 months? like september - be then in no time.

edit: you said end of may so end of the year but statement still stands, unless you cross over the period some what.

[jabumbo]

why don't you just move into the cheap awesome 1 bedroom place and tell him that he can move in whenever you both are ready for it?

[Dorothy Wood]

why don't you just move into the cheap awesome 1 bedroom place and tell him that he can move in whenever you both are ready for it?

wouldn't be able to afford it on me own.

[MC Moot]

Well I can totally relate…this past weekend I was talking about how I’m thinking about buying some new furniture…which completely set her off because we’ve been talking co-habitation for over a year…she interpreted my notion of new furniture to be another step back from living together as her place is completely and awesomely furbished…she was so hurt…I must say the idea of having a suite in the same building would be somewhat bizarre…unless you used as a shared studio or den or something…

[nodanaonlyzuul]

...MASS HYSTERIA!

If you are going to live separately anyway, I do not at all see the point of living in the same building unless A) you love it and B) it's super affordable.

[Adam]

...MASS HYSTERIA!

If you are going to live separately anyway, I do not at all see the point of living in the same building unless A) you love it and B) it's super affordable.

(y) like this

[Dorothy Wood]

Well I can totally relate…this past weekend I was talking about how I’m thinking about buying some new furniture…which completely set her off because we’ve been talking co-habitation for over a year…she interpreted my notion of new furniture to be another step back from living together as her place is completely and awesomely furbished…she was so hurt…I must say the idea of having a suite in the same building would be somewhat bizarre…unless you used as a shared studio or den or something…

why are you putting off living together? I can honestly say that I'd scream my head off if I were your lady. ha.

yeah, the plan would be to have an art and music studio down there.



...MASS HYSTERIA!

If you are going to live separately anyway, I do not at all see the point of living in the same building unless A) you love it and B) it's super affordable.

Well, I need to take a look at it. It might be quirky and weird in a good way...but it also might be gross. It's definitely affordable though. It'd be $500/month. I could get a studio or 1 bedroom somewhere else from 600-750/month. However, together we could get a huge 1 bedroom or reasonably-sized 2 bedroom for $800-1000. Basically I could pay $600+ a month to live by myself in a hole, or pay $475 and live with the boy in a kick ass apartment like this: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/apa/1678717318.html

So, you can see the problem.

At least if I lived in the $500 hole, we could share wifi!

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Even if it fiscally makes sense to live together, make sure that is something you both want, are both comfortable with, and both have a good feeling about. Don't let it only be about money. That would be my recommendation on the matter anyhow.

My own experience went something like this: within 4-ish months of dating I still had my own place with all my furniture in it, but a crap load of clothes and toiletries were at his since I was spending the night at his place all the time and I basically lived there.

It felt silly to be paying rent elsewhere but in a way it was kind of like insurance. We knew we were nuts about each other and felt it in our hearts that this was it. But, at the same time we preferred to be cautious.

Honestly I think it was pretty key in us working out as we did. By being over his place all the time, I could see how he lived (and thank God he isn't totally a slob and actually does clean). And I always knew I could also escape to my own place if I needed to, despite the fact I never felt the need to... something about it just put less pressure on it all. That and it gave us a bit more time to build the relationship which I think is REALLY important before two people have to rely on each other financially, even if it is just splitting the rent and utilities.

Once my lease was finally up a year later, I finally officially moved in. It was seamless and I think it all worked out nicely.

[Dorothy Wood]

You're right...as much as I would love to get a new apartment together, I know for sure that he isn't ready to move. I'm at his place all the time though, and we generally like to be with each other almost every day.

Since our talk, he's been extra schmoopy with me. I guess that means that he's not scared off by my cohabitation fantasies.

I guess I just know that he's the one for me. For right now and the near future at least. Our love is growing and our problems are getting less as we go on and begin to understand each other better. But the key word is "begin". I know it would be a mistake to try to talk him into living together at this point. We both need to be certain.

I should see if I can look at the studio in his building before my fantasies get out of hand. :p

[zippo]

so he says hes not ready to move into the same apartment so youd move into the same building? it sounds like you asked for bread and ended up taking the crumbs...not smart integrity wise imo...

[Dorothy Wood]

so he says hes not ready to move into the same apartment so youd move into the same building? it sounds like you asked for bread and ended up taking the crumbs...not smart integrity wise imo...


well, my lease is up soon, and I need to leave the apartment I'm living in now (I suppose I forgot to mention that) because my roommates and I are splitting up for various reasons.

I'm not taking crumbs, I'm just trying to figure out the best living situation for myself. I'm a sensible person, I know that moving in together after dating only 7 months is kinda jumping the gun.

Don't know what that has to do with integrity.

[Dorothy Wood]

Girl fort would be pretty awesome. You could burn nice smelling incense on top of the ramparts to keep away foes.

yes!

[ms.peachy]

Sounds like a reasonable arrangement to me. You're near enough to each other to get a sense of what it might be like to live together, but have separate spaces to retreat to when couple-time all gets a bit too too. (Which happens and is totally normal.)

[Documad]

Look at the place ASAP. I once took a street level apartment because it was cheap and in a neighborhood I was dying to live in, but it creeped me out sometimes to be street level in a busy neighborhood. I never felt like I could open my windows and I love fresh air. I also had a creeping mold problem and the walls looked normal but they had cinder block or something right behind them and I couldn't hang any art. I spent most of my time looking for my next apartment.

I think it would be odd to be in the same building, because each of you would know if the other one was home and whether one of you was dodging phone calls. But maybe that's what you both want. :confused:

[Dorothy Wood]

Sounds like a reasonable arrangement to me. You're near enough to each other to get a sense of what it might be like to live together, but have separate spaces to retreat to when couple-time all gets a bit too too. (Which happens and is totally normal.)

Yes, reasonable, that's what I'm going for. (y)

Look at the place ASAP. I once took a street level apartment because it was cheap and in a neighborhood I was dying to live in, but it creeped me out sometimes to be street level in a busy neighborhood. I never felt like I could open my windows and I love fresh air. I also had a creeping mold problem and the walls looked normal but they had cinder block or something right behind them and I couldn't hang any art. I spent most of my time looking for my next apartment.

I think it would be odd to be in the same building, because each of you would know if the other one was home and whether one of you was dodging phone calls. But maybe that's what you both want. :confused:

Yes, I definitely need to look at the space. Even if it's cool, it still has glass block windows with vents instead of regular windows...so if we broke up, I definitely wouldn't want to stay there very long.

The apartments are in the same building, but have separate entrances, so if we did break up it wouldn't be impossible to avoid each other.

Currently I live in a big apartment, but feel like I only really live in my bedroom...so anything bigger or more my own would be an improvement.

[Adam]

Currently I live in a big apartment, but feel like I only really live in my bedroom...

Shared housing (n)

I can see pros and cons of this - I've seen the sitcom Friends.

[MC Moot]

why are you putting off living together? I can honestly say that I'd scream my head off if I were your lady. ha.

Location,location,location…her place is to far south in the city…she owns, I rent…this city really has only 4,what I would consider to be, livable neighborhoods…the rest is urban sprawl….or failed economically/socially/environmentally...just ugly…plus I’m a water person so I have to be within close proximity to the river…we totally both see ourselves being together…maybe just not in this city…and maybe not for another year or 2…unless she’s willing to sell,which in this market isn't likely….

[Lyman Zerga]

not exactly on topic but im quite sad and angry cause a dog ive known died cause his piece of a shit owner fed him chicken bones.. and seems like he didnt go to veterinarian afterwards either, i guess it was a quite brutal death

hope a worse death happens to that owner soon

[Dorothy Wood]

well, the apartment in the boyfriend's building was rented shortly after I wrote this. :(

Sucks, because I did get to take a peek at it, and it was huge and weird and would've been perfect.

Oh well....so, now, the plan is for me to stay at his place for the month of June and see how it goes.

harumph.

[b i o n i c]

dorothy and dudeman sitting in a tree.. l-i-v-i-n 2 g

just in time for sunny days - ;) good luck(y)

[Adam]

Make sure you add lots of cushions and lamps. That's the best way not to freak him out (y)

[Dorothy Wood]

Make sure you add lots of cushions and lamps. That's the best way not to freak him out (y)

:rolleyes:


I already helped him redecorate his room a couple weeks ago and he loves it. so there!

[Adam]

:rolleyes:


I already helped him redecorate his room a couple weeks ago and he says he loves it. so there!

better :p

[Dorothy Wood]

better :p

Hey, I missed this! no! he actually likes it. All I did was help him accomplish the look he wanted. It's very young urban male: plain colors, mid-century graphic patterns.


Anyway, no cohabitation just yet! I know you were all on the edges of your seats! I found a really weird attic apartment for a reasonable price. It's got an escape hatch, with a rope! It's kinda like a boat in there or something. I'm pretty pumped about having my own little nest. There's an enclosed porch out back. and it's quiet! finally...I can sleep.

[MC Moot]

I found a really weird attic apartment for a reasonable price. It's got an escape hatch, with a rope! It's kinda like a boat in there or something...

That sounds most excellent and fun!!!!

(y)

[HEIRESS]

picspicspics!

[Dorothy Wood]

picspicspics!


no hatch pics, and not my stuff, but here go some from the ad.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v350/sarkyd/newaptbed.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v350/sarkyd/newaptkitch.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v350/sarkyd/newaptbathroom.jpg

[TAL]

Build a fort!

[b i o n i c]

pretty nice (y) just make sure you have a/c!

[MC Moot]

Oh yeah...that looks like it'll pretty hot up in there...I'd likely sleep in/on the little enclosed balcony if the need be...

[HEIRESS]

ADORABLE!

[MC Moot]

I've alway's wondered what it would be like to live in a gabled place...particularily loft like...with a secret descending staircase like Mork had in Mindy's place...but then I've alway's thought how hard it would be to hang art in...but I think D wood has that problem covered...;)

[nodanaonlyzuul]

that looks really cool. I like it! (y)

[Dorothy Wood]

Thanks guys! I'm really excited. I think I'll start moving things over there next weekend. eep!

I was a little worried about laundry (there's none in the house), but then I realized that there was a big laundromat a couple of blocks away with with free wifi. woo!

It's attached to a place called Foodsmart, which is also exciting!

here's one of their yelp reviews:

Five stars for a convenience store? Why?

Because they're locally owned and not sterile like a chain

Because they don't have "convenience store prices"

Because they're attached to a 24-hour laundry

Because they carry "Box y Lucha" magazine - it's the only place I can find it!

ha.


also, re: the hotness of an attic. the landlady says it's very well insulated...so hopefully if I get a nice cross breeze going, it won't get too stuffy. also, the apartments below have central air, so their apartments' will be cool and non-heat-emitting. hopefully. *fingers crossed*